8 Apr 2016 · 1 min
Matthew Hussey identifies three reasons you freeze around someone very attractive: putting them on a pedestal, thinking they're a once-in-a-lifetime chance, and trying too hard. His fix: do the boring thing instead. Say hello. Have a normal conversation. Act like anyone else.
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Matthew Hussey here with Love Life. Quick question for you. Do you know the nine words that you can text a man that will make you completely irresistible to him? No, I'm not talking about sexting. This is much more intelligent because it allows you to keep your standard and drive him crazy with desire at the same time. Think you can guess what it is? I'll come back to this at the end of the show today, so make sure not to miss a minute. Oh, we are gonna be dealing with a sensitive subject today. The title of this little show is Is He Too Hot for your? In fact, I'm gonna, let me not be sexist in this, I'm gonna add, Is She Too Hot for your? Let's address this to both men and women. We all have this problem, which is that we go out, we see someone we think is hot, and then immediately The game is over. It's over. Before it's even begun, it's done. And I want to give three reasons why this happens with someone that you think is hot. The first reason is that you put that person on a pedestal. That person immediately goes onto this high and mighty place where you go, oh, I'm not worthy. This person is just too good for me. Look how amazingly hot they are. And we start completely overvaluing them before we've even begun. The second thing is they have what I call aesthetics amnesia. In other words, they see someone who they think is hot and all of a sudden their brain says, this is the only hot person in the world. There is no one else like this person. And I'll never meet anyone like this again. If I don't hook up with this person, I'm screwed or not screwed as the case may be forever. So they suddenly get this complex, this scarcity complex. There's no one else out there like them. The third big reason we get scared is because of our intention. We get this huge intention that's far too much of an agenda. It's like we wanna go there and we wanna seduce them and we want them to fall in love with us and we wanna go home with them. We want everything to just work out. And for someone you haven't even said hi to yet, that is a crazy agenda. It's too much, by the way, and it's too overwhelming. Here's my big piece of advice because the truth is they're not too hot for you. You need to put yourself in the game. and I'm gonna give you the most ridiculously simple way of doing this. Stop trying to do something amazing and do the boring thing in that moment. In other words, don't try and go to the gym and do a triple backflip. Just go to the gym and get on the treadmill. Just be average and do the boring thing. Now, I know this sounds counterintuitive because we think in order to woo someone that could be that hot, we have to do something revolutionary. But do you know how many people In your lifetime alone, hooked up, got laid, got a relationship by doing something unbelievably boring and average. Just say hi, what's going on? Lower your standards to the point where you can do the most basic and boring thing so that you can at least put yourself in the game. Whenever I see a woman go, oh my God, there's so many beautiful women in here. How could I ever compete? Or there are, you know, I go to a place like New York and everyone says, oh, there are so many more women in New York than men. Women really outnumber the men. Don't worry about it. Nine out of 10 of them are doing nothing. Nine out of 10 are at home eating ice cream. Yet they're not your competition. Your competition are the women that actually talk to guys, the women that actually get proactive. And that is a very small percentage, I promise you. The ratios get a lot better when you realize you're competing with only the people that are taking action. So be someone who takes action and start doing the boring thing. Okay, that's it from me today. Don't ever put someone above you. Don't ever say someone is too hot. Maybe someone won't be attracted to you and that's fine. That's common in in life and that is not limited to people we think are hot. People we think are not hot can be equally as unattracted to us. So let's not go in with an arrogant attitude, but let's not also go in with this idea of not being worthy of people. Go and do the boring thing. Say something. So have you guessed what those nine words are that will make you irresistible to men? No? Well, I've included that. And eight other equally effective scripts in a free guide I've created for you called 9 Magic Texts no Man Can Resist. The text I was talking about at the top of the show is number two of nine. Just copy and paste it, or any of the nine texts, tonight, and he'll be eating out of the palm of your hand. To get your free guide, just go to lovelifepodcast.com/9texts forward slash texts.
