18 Jan 2017 · 1 min
Matthew Hussey compares breakup pain to grief and says how you interpret the split shapes how long it hurts. Reframe your ex as simply the wrong person, not your soulmate, and you shorten the misery. The meaning you assign to the breakup determines your healing time.
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This is love life, and I'm your host, Matthew Hussey. It's so exciting to hear feedback from women who say things like, Matt, I tried the advice from your podcast, and I met someone incredible that same night. But occasionally I'll hear something. Like, when something finally starts to go right in my life, I have trouble trusting that it's real, and I just can't enjoy it. If you can relate, I want you to stay tuned until the end of today's show because there's something really exciting I want to share with you that has the power to change your way of thinking forever. But first, let's get to the episode.
Today we're going to be talking about an interesting subject of exes. And more specifically, how long does it.
Actually take to get over an ex?
And it's really difficult, especially when. You know, I almost think the pain of a breakup is. It's like that moment when you're sick, and after a while, especially when you've come down with something bad and you're laying in bed day after day after day, you forget what it felt like to just feel normal. You don't. You don't sit there thinking, God, I just wish I felt a million dollars tomorrow. What you think is, I just want to feel normal again. And I think the same happens in a breakup. And, you know, sometimes we go through that, and I think it is a grieving period. We go through that grieving period for so long that we start to wonder, God, when can I just feel normal again? I don't need to feel amazing. I just want to feel normal. And I say grieving because, truthfully, in most cases, the breakup is the death of something. I kind of like to use this word, grieving, because I think in a way, this situation can be almost sounds morbid, but can be compared to death. The interesting part about that is the socially acceptable amount of time to grieve someone is different in different cultures. There are parts of the world where people go to a funeral all dressed in black and everyone mourns and cries. And walks away and goes through a period of a real mourning for that person. There are other parts of the world, other cultures, other religions where they don't actually give the event the same significance in terms of mourning. You know, you can go to Bali, and when there's a death, people celebrate. They don't wear dark colors, they wear bright colors, they wear colors. They, they. They get excited, they dance, they sing, they celebrate. Because this moment has been given a different type of significance, a different meaning. And we all know it's the same in a relationship. It's completely subjective. At the end of a relationship, you could decide, well, I'm gonna mourn right now because this is a terrible thing. I've lost my soulmate. Or. Or you can change the meaning of it to say this is a celebration. And that's the difference. If you can give it a different meaning like that the grieving period is nowhere near the same. I always say to people, there's a difference between believing you've lost your soulmate and being disappointed that the person wasn't your soulmate. The big difference is one of those will keep you miserable for a lifetime. You think you've lost your soulmate, you'll be miserable forever. If you think that you're disappointed it wasn't your soulmate, you're going to be miserable for a little while until you actually find someone new. So the key, my friends, the key to overcoming the amount of time it takes, which is subjective, it can be a day, it could be a month, it could be a year, is up to you, is to decide what meaning you want to give that situation. What is that breakup going to mean to you? Is it the end? Or is it a new beginning? Is it something that's sad? Is it a parting of ways? Or is it something exciting because it means a new adventure for you now? That's it for me today, my friends. This is Love Life with Matthew Hussey. I hope you enjoyed this episode. Bye. By the way, I would love to engage with you in other ways. Make sure that you're following me on Twitter. It's Matthew Hussey. You can also follow me on Facebook at the same name and feel free to come to my website for more information. It's howtogeththeguy.com I look forward to speaking to you in the next episode of Love Life. Take care now.
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