This short Matthew Hussey podcast mini-episode teaches how to stop feeling intimidated by people you find attractive. Using a personal anecdote and a Coco Gauff/Wimbledon example, Hussey gives three mindset shifts: (1) avoid comparing single features, (2) present yourself as a complete "brand" or package, and (3) realize someone who doesn't see your value isn't valuable to you. The episode closes with a practical offer: a free chapter from his program "How to Talk to Men" available at getthefreechapter.com.
Questions this episode answers
Matthew Hussey.
1) Don't compare single features; 2) Represent yourself as a whole package/brand; 3) If someone doesn't see your value, they are not valuable to you in dating.
Coco Gauff at Wimbledon; described as the youngest player to have ever qualified for Wimbledon at age 15 and who beat Venus Williams in her opening match (as recounted).
A free chapter from the program "How to Talk to Men" available at getthefreechapter.com.
Chapters
You cannot have a valuable relationship where one person sees the value in this person and this person's like, well, I'm not really sure. Welcome back to the Love Life podcast. Matthew Hussey here. Another mini episode today. If you've ever noticed that you completely fall apart when you try and speak to the person you're really attracted to, this clip is going to help. I share three things that you need to remember if you feel intimidated by someone you like and how to keep your confidence in this situation. Enjoy. Growing up, I was always intimidated by people that I perceived to be beautiful. I would think I didn't match up. I would put them on a pedestal and around them any sense of charisma or wit would simply fade and I would just become this blob of gray matter trying to blend into the wall. There was a moment recently where Coco Gauff, the youngest player to have ever qualified for Wimbledon, who's 15 years old, in her opening match she played her hero, Venus Williams, beat Venus Williams, and then in the post match interview was asked, how did you keep your composure? And she said, you know, it was the biggest court I'd ever played on, but I had to keep reminding myself that the lines on the court were the same size. Translation, it's still tennis. I am still there to play the game I play every single day in practice. Simply because it's a bigger audience watching or it's more of a legend that I'm playing doesn't change that. My job is to show up and play my game. The same is true of people. I don't care who someone is or what you think they have, or how handsome you think that guy is, or what he's achieved or how intelligent you perceive him to be. That is still just a person. And your job is to show up and play your normal game, the game you have been learning your entire life, which is just to do the most authentic, authentic version of you. So here are three things I want you to remember if you feel yourself getting intimidated by somebody else that you're attracted to. Number one, don't play the one on one comparison game looking at them going, oh no, their eyes are better than mine. They've got more symmetry in their face than I have. When we compare one part of us to another, we're completely misunderstanding how attraction actually works. We don't fall in love with a feature, we fall in love with a package. We what someone represents as a whole. That brings me on to number two. What package do you represent as a whole? You gotta represent More than a feature. I've heard it said about companies that a brand is a promise. In other words, a brand is more than a product. A brand is a promise of what integrity that company has, what character that company has, what its ethos is, what it stands for, what the level of service is. That's the promise. And when we go into dating or we. Our brand is a promise. And it's a promise to be something far more interesting than one feature. It's a package, a style, a brand that cannot simply be replicated by somebody else, no matter how physically beautiful they are. And number three, recognize that anyone who does not see your value cannot be valuable to you. Now, I don't mean they don't have value in their own right as a person. I simply mean when we're looking for love, when we're looking for real connection, real relationship, and you imagine your dream love, it's two people who uniquely see each other's value, appreciate what is special about the other, and fall in love with that. You cannot have a valuable relationship where one person sees the value in this person, and this person's like, well, I'm not really sure. That's not what we're looking for. So if you walk up to someone today that you think is attractive, and you bring yourself to the table and they don't recognize the value in you, then you have lost nothing. That person has no value for you in the dating pool, and that alone should rid you of any level of intimidation you previously thought they had. So if you want to stop being intimidated by people and actually start going out there and making a move, being courageous, doing the brave thing of speaking to someone, you might want some practical ways of. Of how to actually do that. I have a free chapter from my program, how to Talk to Men, which is all about how to flirt. And it's gonna give you the practical. This video has been about the confidence. That free chapter is about having the competence to actually do it. So go to getthefreechapter.com Download your free chapter right now, and I will see you, Sam.
