*SPECIAL EPISODE* - Q&A Ask Matt Anything! (with Stephen Hussey)

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Recurring automated marketing messages from pocket hosts. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply. Available at pocket hosts.com/terms. We decided to do a podcast 'cause we're together in London. We thought we would do one together. You're gonna do some questions that everyone has sent in on Instagram. Yes. 'Cause we put out a little story, we asked for opinions. So we're gonna just do some questions. We'll see, I don't even know what Steve's gonna ask me. He said to me quietly before it started, Are you sure you don't wanna know the questions? I said, no, let's just go through the DMs and ask the questions. So we'll see what happens. So we're gonna start now. You're already recording on the podcast. Can we play the podcast theme tune?

We can play the podcast theme tune.

Play it just so that we have the lead in, because it gets me in the mood. This is our little intro song for the podcast and I really like it. It's got a good vibe.

Hello and welcome back to the Love Life Podcast. I have a very special man with me in the hot seat. I have the man with me. It is of course my brother Matthew Hussey. I am Stephen Hussey. Matthew how are you sir?

I honestly am very excited to be doing this Steve. We normally it's oh I still hear the music in the background. I'm just doing a constant soundtrack with the same song. I am here because I thought we're both in London, we have the opportunity to do some live Q&A. So I have no idea what you're gonna ask me, but I thought it'd be fun.

Well, I got our lovely listeners to feed us in some questions.

And for all those people listening right now, we also have a lot of people on Instagram Live who are listening to this live as well. So that's a podcast first for us.

Yeah, this is all a lot of podcast first. So you long time listeners, I've seen your Spotifys, I've seen you saying you've been binging us this year. This is the special episode. We're in December, we got here, we got the big man in the room. This is the one you don't want to miss. So, we got a bunch of questions in, so I'm just gonna start with one that is pretty interesting. This question is, for your podcast, what is one book you've read that you feel has had the biggest impact on you or helped you cultivate more happiness in your life?

Oh my god.

That's pretty hard, right?

Off the cuff. I'm a huge fan of the book Deep Work by Cal Newport. I can't answer the is there one book, but... Yeah.

Let's just say a book you've thought about recently.

Deep, always important conversational tip for anyone, anytime you're in conversation, never ask for someone's favorite something. That is a conversation ender.

Oh, that's good.

Right there, never ask for a favorite, always ask for one of someone's, a book that you really enjoy or that's really influenced you. That's a yes and question, whereas your favorite is a, people just seize up. I really like the book Deep Work by Cal Newport because it describes the lack of focus that we have today, the novelty of social media and news sites and constant addiction to, surface level interaction and it stops us from doing the deep work that actually moves us forward in our lives. So I'm a big, big believer in that idea of deep work.

So do you think deep work helps you?

Deep work. Yeah, deep work makes me happier because if I sit down and focus on a piece of writing, I immediately feel connected to my purpose. I feel like I've done something difficult. I get into a flow state. There's a lot of studies showing that flow states are the key to happiness. And I feel like I've done something difficult for the day. And I've engaged in a world that's rich. When I'm mindlessly checking Instagram, do you normally pause for sirens on the podcast?

If there's sirens, I would usually re-record, but it'd be just me.

No, no, we keep going.

We keep going.

So I find that for me, losing myself in something that is rich in meaning and truly dedicating myself to that time, is the key to my happiness. It certainly isn't scrolling Instagram or Facebook or just checking emails.

Yes, I agree with that. I think you can find lots of ways to try and fill up your day with pleasures, but ultimately something meaningful, something purposeful is what gives you that warm, nourished feeling at the end of the day. You can have a lot of pleasure but not feel very satisfied. Well, just to say, Matthew, since we actually have you here in London, it is December, the end of a long year, how are you feeling about that? We've been talking a lot on the podcast just of checking in how people are, what's been going on. Do you feel you're at a home stretch? Do you feel like, you know, there's light at the end of the tunnel? We've got vaccine on the way. Things may be looking less bleak than they did in the middle of the year. Or do you feel it's been exhausting?

It's certainly been sort of exhausting. I went out in London, I didn't go out, I went for a walk, and suddenly last night everyone was in bars and restaurants. That was quite shocking. What I found a bit tiring is having to adjust and readjust to the new rules. Like I get comfortable with the idea that nothing is available, and then when it changes again and everything's available, I'm like, oh no, now I'm like, The world of options has opened up again. I've got to adjust to the fact that things, that I can go to a restaurant, I can do something, and then when things close down, you have to adjust to that. So I think the changing of the standards all the time is quite disorienting.

Yeah.

But I actually think of it now like there's a, like someone has said, oh, the end is on its way. The end of where we are now is coming. And so that immediately I go into the mode of oh no, what did I not do during this time?

Right, so you see it as an opportunity.

I get scared that I haven't used this time well enough.

Right.

That I'm like, oh, did I write that book? Did I do this? Did I do that? Did I make all those things that I would only ever have the time to make when the world is a little more quiet? And then it's so, it sort of reverse psychology kicks in. and I go, oh, okay, well, I've only got, if everyone gets vaccinated, I've only got six months to make the most of this time now before people are going to start expecting me to go places and do things. And so I, it actually, for me, turns into a bit of a game in that sense.

I, I have shared something of that mindset. Do you think people would say that's, that's a hyper type A mindset? Probably.

Yeah.

And it should not be so. on yourself in times of massive crisis.

Yeah, but I think that the difference is when it first happened, it was, it was a lot of people were in panic mode. And so when you're in panic mode or when you're like truly massively destabilized, I understand there are many people who are still destabilized because of a loss of jobs and fears around the corner, businesses failing in real time. So that is different for everybody. But for me, you know, in our family, like mum was really panicked in the beginning. And then I was nervous because mum was anxious and I didn't want her to be anxious. And we all didn't know, we were sitting there scrubbing apples, you know, when we bought them.

I remember the scrubbing apples.

Oh, God, don't we all. But that gave way to what I think is a more stable period of still in the pandemic, but it's more normalized. And then I think it is time to go, okay, how do I want to use this time? I'm no longer operating out of a kind of panic. Now it's just we're sort of stable within an unstable situation. So what do I do at that time?

I think the continued difficulty is the, like you say, the unpredictable lockdown scenario. I think it takes, I thought at first I was just someone who, oh, I'm just resilient to this. Like once the panic was over, like I'm not gonna die, you know, fingers crossed. But then I was like, oh, I'm fine with this. But actually I think there is this, like, I liken it to like a background noise of constant, uncertainty and minor anxiety about not knowing anything that's gonna happen. And that does take its toll. It's like a newsfeed in your mind all the time that's changing your thoughts and plans.

I think that's true. I've just always been hyper-focused on what, like we started our business in a recession.

Yeah, we did.

Back in, what was it, 2008?

I think it was bang on 2008, probably the start of the crisis. Yeah.

So, I just have always been so focused on not the macro of it all, but the micro. Because I just think you have so much control over the micro and it's the only place that's worth spending any time. So I don't, I just don't, I know there are people who get very heated about the macro of things. And that's fine, the macro is serious, but I think that my power within the micro is more serious.

Right.

Like I always back my own power over the power of who's in office or what's happening in the world or I just back myself as someone who's going to have more influence over my life than whatever is happening on the macro.

Yeah.

And that's always what I'm focused on.

Yeah. Very cool. I've got another question here. Okay, so related to that, someone asked, I would like to ask you guys how you handle the loss of excitement and motivation that we feel sometimes once we've decided we're going to have open our own business. How do you not give up?

Once you've opened your own business, how do you lose?

Well, I guess when you lose excitement with like a company you've started or a project and it seems shiny and new at the beginning, but you kind of feel you're not getting the results or the motivation drops.

Firstly, you try to pick something that wasn't an interest that started for you last week.

Right.

If the interest came as easily as like, oh, I had this, I've been interested in this since last week, it's hard to trust that you'll still have that interest. next week. So it's like a lot of people who have a bit, I've just had the most wonderful business idea. Right. And then they're like surprised how in a month they're not passionate about it. And you're like, you didn't even know what it was a month ago. So why would you be so passionate about it a month from now? I think if you can choose something that you're interested in in a somewhat enduring way, then you can at least rely on the fact that what you, it's kind of like if you've been wanting to study something at college. Like, you're 30 now and all the way through your 20s, you've always said, I want to go back to college to study whatever it is. You can sort of trust in that, at least to the extent that it's never gone away.

Right.

It wasn't a fad interest. You're still interested in the idea of going and doing that. So there's some reliability in the ideas, in the passions that keep revisiting you in life. and I always think, what's at the core of them? Like, for me, dating is interesting, but it's not the core of my passion. The core of my passion is people, psychology, ideas. That's the enduring part. So even if I get tired of talking about dating, the stuff that drives my interest in talking about dating isn't something that's about to go away with me. And I can rely on that. The medium might change. I might not be interested in doing a podcast or, you know, You know, I might want to write more than I made videos, or I might want to make videos more than I write, or may want to do tours, I may not want to do tours, but the interest in people and in the ideas has always been a feature of my life. So I can rely on that not going away. I think one of the things that happens for people when they start a business is that they realize quite quickly they're having to wear hats that they didn't think they'd have to wear. You know, you wanted to be a content creator of some kind and now you realize you have to figure out how to use how to create titles for YouTube that are going to work for the algorithm so that people actually see your videos.

Or design a thumbnail or something on your own.

Right.

Or figure out how to generate a mailing list so that you have people to actively promote to when you have a new video. Or figure out how to bring on a member of your team and now all of a sudden you're a manager. You know, you need people to help you and let's say you hire two people, now you're managing two people and you didn't see yourself as a manager. You know, you're like, oh, I'm not a manager, but you are. So I think what happens for a lot of people is that they're surprised how little time they get to spend doing the thing that they actually set out to do in the first place.

Right.

And how much time they end up spending on the mechanics of trying to get a business off the ground. There's a very different, there's a big difference between being a therapist and the business of being a therapist. There's a big difference between being a coach and the business of being a coach, being an artist and the business of being an artist. And I think that some people overestimate that they overestimate the extent to which they want to have a business. What they really want is to do the thing they like doing, but they don't necessarily want to have a business.

And I guess to be able to do those things, you either find other people who can plug your gaps or you just learn enough so that you can manage that part. Like you have to, like you say, if you have a deep enough reason why you love this, you'll find, okay, I can foray a little bit into sales or marketing to figure this out, 'cause I really, really care about this message.

Well, here's the thing. There is nothing in life Like the business metaphor, the idea of I have to run a business to do the thing I love applies to everything. There is no life where all day, every day, you do exactly what you wanna do. Like you may wanna live in a nice apartment, but sometimes you're gonna have to clean or do dishes or, you know, like, it's, there's always things that you have to do that are just getting you to the thing you wanna do. That's why it pisses me off so much when people talk about like, It should be fun. Like, I've had people say that to me before where they're like, they see me stressing about something or they see me like working hard and be like, God, this is tough. This should be fun. I'm like, what are you talking about? As if the objective is always fun. Like, the highest order in life. The highest objective is to have fun.

Right.

Like, it's not. It's not like, A lot of the time doing this is not fun. It's rewarding, it's fulfilling, it gives me and you tremendous purpose. Don't confuse those things with fun. Fun is what you get sometimes.

When.

You'Re in a flow, when you're enjoying the moment, when that moment where I'm...

Or when you're sitting, coming up with it, when we're chatting about a new video idea, that's like the the fun bit where we're coming up with it and it's all theory. And wouldn't it be cool if we did this and shot it like that?

Do you know what's fun? The last 10 minutes of me having just given a show on stage for the last three hours. Like, the fun, when I realize I've just done it, I'm on tour, I'm in my event, the event hasn't sucked. It's gone really well. and oh my God, this is amazing. Like that moment, it could be 10 minutes in if I get to that moment 10 minutes in. But here's what's not fun, pulling up to a venue and seeing a line down the block in New York of people who are waiting to see you. And that moment where you're like, holy shit, like I've got to deliver here. That, I wouldn't describe that as fun. I describe it as many things and some of them are positive, but Fun wouldn't, fun in that moment, some people may have the most fun in that moment. For me, I'm like, I gotta go.

And... Well, it's fun for me, 'cause I get to meet all the fans. And then I think, oh, my brother's gonna go and smash it, he's gonna be fine.

But I don't have the worry in your head. Yeah.

Exactly. Yeah, you'll pull it out the bag, you'll be fine.

But fun shouldn't be the goal all the time. I don't even know if happiness should be the goal all the time.

Yeah, I think that's fair.

Deep with that one. Yeah, I think happiness might be overrated some of the time.

Well, hold that because we might play a game of overrated.

By the way, some of you are saying like, save the live. I'm not gonna save this live because it's just gonna be too...

He'll be on the podcast.

It'll be on the podcast. You'll be able to listen to it on the podcast. So I won't save this live. This would just be for you guys that are actually here.

So let's go to a love life question. If you need constant communication and the person you're interested in can go days or weeks without a proper conversation, how do you relay this sentiment to someone you are newly talking to?

Newly talking to? How is it relevant with someone... You're saying, how do you communicate to someone you're newly talking to that you don't want to be with them if they're someone that can go weeks without a real conversation?

I guess she's saying she likes them, but she needs constant communication and they can go days or week with weeks without a proper conversation.

Well, listen, you have to differentiate between liking someone and being compatible with someone. Those are different things. You can really like someone. I can really like certain guys that when I see them for an hour every three months, I'm like, Love this dude, so much fun. But it doesn't mean we're compatible as friends. Doesn't mean that I would rely on this human being. It doesn't mean that this person is someone that I could have in my daily life without it negatively impacting me. So you have to distinguish between people you like and people that are truly compatible with you, the life you wanna live, where you're going, what your needs are. You say this a lot, it's a great line, how easy is it to get your needs met? in the relationship. We're all going to have moments where our needs aren't met for a brief time or for a period or whatever, but is it constantly difficult to get your needs met? And I would say on the level of being able to have conversations with your partner, if you feel you're with someone who talks to you, you know, who barely has a good conversation with you every few days, and that's important to you, then you have you don't have a likability issue with this person, but you do have a compatibility issue with this person. And I think that's something that you should, you know, that's something that's worth talking about. Even in, like the earlier you are in dating, the less you're entitled you are to talk about it as a deficit in the other person. You more have to talk about it as just something that you want.

Right.

Something that you're looking for, like conversation, being able to connect deeply with someone, like that's really important to me. That's something I always look forward to. You like that too.

Yeah.

And let them tell you the answer. If they give you the complete wrong answer and that's proven by what you see in the next few weeks, then you know you have a compatibility issue.

Yeah, I love that. Okay, let's do one more question, then we'll go to a round of overrated or underrated.

So, I've never played that game, but I've always been jealous of people who get to play that game.

So.

Okay, we'll do one more. Okay, this might be interesting. Hey Matt, I have a question for the podcast. I would be really interested in the insecurities that you have to struggle with because you are one of the most confident people here on social media and a great role model and that's why I'm always wondering if there was anything you have to struggle with.

Do you, I don't know if I'm one of the most confident people on social media.

I think, it's a big claim. Luckily she said it.

I would never, you would never catch me saying that about myself.

I, people do describe you as, you know, to me as like Matt's so confident in himself and, you know, they feel like you're, you got it made.

Right.

I, what insecurities? Why, I think I have all the same insecurities as, as other people. I think it's always the extent to which your insecurities dominate you.

Yeah, because what is that then? If you've got all the insecurities other people have, is it just perception that you're perceived as more confident? Because I think there is a level of confidence in you that many other people don't possess. But as your brother, I know there are things, you know, like all of us, there are things you think, oh, I'd like that to be a bit different about myself. Oh, I don't feel great in my body today or this. So what do you think that is? Do you think you just are good at overcoming those or not letting those define you, how you're gonna come across?

I think it's a combination of things. It's you firstly, you do what you can where you can, right? So you work on your body to the extent that you can. Your looks, you work on them to the extent that you can. There are certain things that you do what you can with what you have. Being confident isn't about accepting the worst version of yourself. You figure out what power you have over certain things. We can all groom, shape ourselves, look after ourselves in order to look better and feel better. If we're talking about physical, for example, which is a major level of area of insecurity for a lot of people. And then past that point, I think confidence can be a combination of self-acceptance and fatalism. Self-acceptance in that you grow to love, you know, you sort of love, you know, we talk about this on the retreat. You love yourself because you're all you have and because you're someone that you're responsible for.

Right?

People don't love their kids because they're the best. They love their kids because they're responsible for their kids and because they want the best for them. So that's the self-acceptance part. The fatalistic part is the part where you go, fuck it. No matter how much I worry about this thing, it isn't gonna get better. Like, it's not, it's not me worrying that I don't look as hot as that person isn't gonna make me hotter. so this is what I'm here on this earth once and this is what I have.

Right.

So let me go and make the most of that and stop worrying that I can't, that I'm not as whatever as this person because I'm not. I'm just not like it's, there's certain things I'm never gonna be. And I think that when you get comfortable with that, And when you get fatalistic about it, then you just go, well, then I'll do the best I can with that.

Right.

And that guy is not better than me because he was born better looking or taller or whatever. Like it doesn't... That's like, that's the lottery he won.

Yeah. Right?

We won certain lottery tickets too. Like, but it doesn't... It doesn't make someone better than me that they had different resources. that they were gifted different things at the outset. That doesn't make anyone better than me.

Yeah.

Just means that's what they got. So this is what I've got.

What?

My. My whole game in life is, what can I do with that? And what can I do with that? This is what I got.

Yeah.

What can I do with it? Like, that, to me, is what makes your life a work of art.

It's like, how can I play the game with these cards? Like, what kind of game could I play with these?

Yes. Like, I, this, yeah, what art could I make out of the, I've been given a, it's like, you know, like in, what are the shows like MasterChef or whatever, where they just get given like a handful of random ingredients?

Right, right, yeah, yeah.

Like a bit of carrot, here's some cinnamon, here's some creme fraiche, here's a bit of salmon, and they're just like, go for it. They don't sit there for the next hour that they have crying over the ingredients.

There you go. I bloody wish I had some creme fraiche right now.

No, they go, I've got an hour. I've got one hour to make the most of these ingredients. And how good of a chef I am has zero to do with these ingredients. It has everything to do with how I use the. I'm not going to be graded on how good of a draw I did in the beginning on my ingredients. That's not what Master Chef is about. Is it even Master Chef, the show that I'm talking about? It's one of them. It's one of the shows where they.

Get given a kitchen.

It's one of the thousand cooking shows. I'm not gonna get graded on, like, I drew the ingredients. They don't all draw ingredients. And then the show ends there and they go, well, Jonathan won. 'Cause he drew a bit of steak and some garlic butter and some asparagus.

And Jonathan got the rib eye.

No one's gonna top that. Call it, call it Jonathan's drawn the rib eye. They don't, That's not the show. That wouldn't be a show.

Right.

Right, it's not roulette. It's the show is they all get given ingredients. Let's now see how great of a chef they are. That's life.

Wow.

We all got ingredients. We're not gonna be great, like anyone worth talking to isn't gonna grade you on your ingredients. They're gonna grade you on what did you do with those ingredients. That's now you're a chef. Be a chef. Don't be someone who's trying to draw a good hand. And even for me, even if no one thinks you, even if no one ever realizes what you did with those ingredients, you do. And that's worth noting too. Go back and look at what you did with your, like, look at, if you want confidence, look at what you already did with a bunch of your ingredients. Like, what did you already do? Where have you already been a chef?

Yeah.

In your life that you're not giving yourself enough credit for. Because if you look at that, You'll see.

We forget those really quickly, right? We forget really quickly the amazing recipes we have put together.

Yep.

Because we just move on from that and go, yeah, but I haven't achieved this.

Yeah, because you're always looking at the meal that you haven't cooked. But look at the ones you already cooked. That's amazing. If I want to get ridiculously confident right now, all I need to do is look at the meals I already cooked. And then I'm gonna go, my God. And I cooked those meals with who I was five years ago, or ten years ago. I was a much worse chef then than I am today. And look what I already cooked. So imagine what meal I can cook today with what I have.

Wow, man. Damn, this is a good podcast. Okay, well, we should do a video on that.

We should. We should do a weekend video on that. Well, how long have we been going for?

Oh, I don't know.

How long's your Instagram say?

I'll tell you what, let's do this.

We've done it, we've done it a lot on Instagram. I'll end the Instagram live, but you won't miss the rest because we'll do the rest on the, you'll see, you'll hear the rest on the podcast. Okay, and you'll be fine. When will they get this podcast, Steve?

Roughly. They can get it within the next couple of days, we'll post it.

Next couple, then that's from Stephen there, so you've heard that on the live. Next couple of days, we'll get you the rest of this. You can listen to it all on the podcast. Yeah, Love Life Podcast, iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, go and subscribe. It's called Love Life and you can find it on all of those platforms, all right? Appreciate you guys, I love you all and I hope you're having a wonderful.

Day wherever you are.

[Snq] so, sir, why don't we. Why don't we end this little chat we've had with a round of overrated, underrated. I'll toss out a few random things and you will say whether they are overrated or underrated, or you may say appropriately rated. Are you up for playing?

I'm very, very excited about this game. I've never been included in this game before, and I always feel like it's someone. You know, is someone amazing, like, you know, what's his name? The zero to one Peter Teal. So it's like a Peter Teal or someone who gets to do this. I'm just glad to be here.

Well, this is a format taken from Tyler Cowen's wonderful Conversations with Tyler podcast. But yeah, so I'll throw a few out at you. Los Angeles.

Under... Whoa. Both.

Both underrated, appropriately rated.

It's underrated by people who sneer at it as just some stupid sort of relic to Hollywood and superficial entertainment people. And it's overrated, I suppose, by people who have been in LA too long and have bought into the hype of it.

Right.

Like LA is incredible because it's not just a place that attracts a lot of talent and a lot of really interesting, diverse people. It's somewhere that's got a lot of proximity to other interesting places.

Yes.

You can go to Big Sur, you can go to San Diego, Montecito, you can go to Big Bear. You know, there's all these amazing places around. One of the best things things about LA is how close it is to other great things. But I can understand anyone who gets sick of the bubble of it.

Good answer. That is true. On the game you can say who it's underrated or overrated by.

Really?

Yeah, that's well caveated. Okay, cold exposure therapy.

I want to say underrated, but I feel like it's quickly going the other way.

You went on a big cold exposure retreat this year.

I did.

Before lockdown. Before coronavirus was.

I was with Wim Hof and a group of superhumans and we went for five days and we did jumping off of cliffs into frozen lakes and 10 minute ice baths and we did... We went up a mountain in the snow in nothing but our shorts. So that...

So by the wider public, is this underrated as a practice?

I think that it's underrated by the wider public, but it has blown up.

Right.

Like recently you had Justin Bieber on Ellen, talking about how he does a cold plunge every morning, and then Wim Hof retweeting or putting up a story about Justin Bieber. Once Justin Bieber is ritualizing your work, I think it's no longer underrated.

Right.

All right, that's fair enough. I'd say most people still don't know about it though, so I guess to most people.

They do after Babes has said it.

Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

Underrated. Underrated. That is a discipline that I would think is great for anyone who doesn't chronically suffer from injuries all the time. But even then, there are people that say it's a great thing to, you can last a long time in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. People do it into old age, in other words.

Right.

People who do, you know, boxing, you get hit in the head repeatedly. It's not exactly a long-term fitness option if you actually want to spar. Whereas Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, you can roll with people for a long time without the head trauma. And also, I just, I truly, it's one of the most, if you want to talk mindfulness, like getting in the ice cold exposure therapy, is great for mindfulness because you can't think of anything else while you're doing it. All you can think of is the terrible pain you're in. No, I mean, you think of how, you know, it's a very, it makes you very present. But Brazilian jiu-jitsu is sort of like that too. My mind, I've done Brazilian jiu-jitsu in some of the times where I'm going through the worst things. And while I'm on that mat, I'm nowhere else. I'm just there doing what I'm doing. So I think it's a great meditative but also physical exercise at the same time.

Okay.

Are these answers too long for... No.

No, no, they're fine.

Are they... This is the right length.

You can give as much or as little explanation as you want.

Okay.

Dating apps. Overrated or underrated?

How many times do people who play this game say both?

Some people say appropriately rated, or they say who it's... Who buy, who it's overrated by.

Okay, I would say, overrated by dating apps because they're, they want you to believe that the only problem really is that the only reason you haven't found love is because you haven't met them yet. And that is a gross oversimplification of why a lot of people aren't getting the results they want in their love life. But I think it's underrated by people who have some philosophical aversion to it altogether. I think that that can, you know, I spoke to someone just the other day on a kind of TV event I did where she said, I just really don't wanna have to tell the story of how I met someone on a dating app. And I thought, you know what? That's valuing the wrong thing, ultimately. 'Cause it shouldn't be about, you've got the whole of the rest of your life For romance with someone, you shouldn't have to worry that much about the first meeting being really romantic.

Right.

Like get, just worry about getting in the same room with that person. Right, yeah, yeah. Because you have your whole life to be romantic with that person.

You're sort of being picky about the wrong thing there.

Yeah.

Like would you rather have the love of your life and you met on a dating app or have that principle and you never meet them?

Yeah.

And the love of your life is also like you trying really hard to meet somebody. You know, if they're ready for a relationship, they are going out of their way to try and find it too. So if anything, have sympathy for the fact that they are on a dating app looking for you.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I agree with you, the people who philosophically disdain dating apps, I think, are missing out to some extent.

Yeah.

Yeah. Owning a rice cooker, so underrated.

Why?

It's so underrated.

You own one, right? You got one recently.

Yeah, and it's one of the greatest things I've got in a long time.

Why is it good to have a rice cooker?

Well, I cook Japanese rice in there. When I cook Japanese meat on the grill, I cook my rice in there and it's perfect every time, Stephen. There's no variation.

It's warm and it's a bit sticky.

Yeah.

It's perfect every time. And then if you want to just step away from it and be like, oh, just I'll have a bit more in a couple of hours. You just leave it on the heat in the rice cooker and you come back to it whenever you want. You've got rice all day.

Would you ever go the Japanese way and have rice in the morning with a bit of salmon or.

The thing is, I think I eat too much for that to be a way of life for me. I think the Japanese can eat rice in the morning or any time of day because They have portion control.

Right.

And you do not.

I, you know, yeah, I don't. Not in the same way. I can't trust myself with a bowl of rice in the morning.

All right, last one. Last one, Tom Cruise as an actor.

Underrated.

Okay.

Underrated. I think that people think Tom Cruise, I think people who don't appreciate Tom Cruise, Think of him as just some sort of Mission Impossible Jack Reacher, you know, running around doing stunts, which by the way, even that is underrated. You think about the fact that he does his own stunt. He doesn't need to do that. He's a maniac doing his own stunts and crazy stuff. But even on top of that, the guy can really, he's an incredible actor.

Yeah.

I wouldn't say, well, but he has even shown diversity. Look at Tropic Thunder.

Tropic Thunder.

Right?

If that isn't diversity, I don't know what is.

He's willing to throw himself in.

He goes for it. I think there is a man with a ton of charisma, with an incredible acting ability. I don't know how... I think he's underrated. Clearly it's not affecting him that he's underrated.

Yeah, it's hard to say one of the top grossing box office movie stars ever is underrated.

I don't think anyone's playing the violin for him.

Well, very good. I'll throw in one more for good measure since you're a Los Angeles man. Kombucha.

Oh, God, it's got to be so overrated, hasn't it? Steve, I couldn't even tell you the last time I drank a kombucha.

Okay, I just know whenever I come to see you in LA, it's always in every.

Not in my fridge. Every.

No, in every shop.

Yeah, you won't find it in my.

But.

I like kombucha, but tell me when is the right time?

It's hard. It's almost like a midday something to swig while you're working, isn't it?

But it's sugary, right? It's got.

It doesn't taste that healthy, but I.

Think it's high in sugar content. No.

Yeah.

Or as, you know, so I just feel like that's going to be your cheat. Like, if you're going to cheat and have a bit of sugar. Someone's gonna pull me up on this, 'cause I bet you I've got it all wrong.

But I... Well, they say gut flora and these sorts of things.

Yeah, I know.

Above my pay grade, but...

Mine too. I just always think, there's never a moment where I think this is the right time to have a kombucha. And yet, you go to certain shelves in certain stores and there's wall-to-wall kombucha.

Right, well this is going to be.

The teaser clip for the podcast. I think this is the hot take from this one. Do you think we can use any.

Of the overrated, underrated stuff? Do you think it's interesting enough? Oh yeah, that's all going in.

Really? Yeah, that's fresh stuff. People don't hear this from you.

They don't know my opinions on Tom Cruise.

It's podcast exclusive.

Okay.

I don't know if I did a good job of the over... You did a great job.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Excellent. Well, it's my first time.

It's your first time? I thought you did great.

I hope I get to play it many more times, because it's a really enjoyable game.

We've got more for you, so we'll rejoin this another time. All right, why don't we wrap up there? I'm gonna have to cut all this together.

Wait, let me just give you one real quick. Podcasts, overrated or underrated?

Oh, that's a good one. I still, funnily enough, considering all that's spoken about them in the wider public, underrated. Loads of people I know do not listen to podcasts at all, which is astonishing because there's so many of them now.

I'm starting to think more people have podcasts than listen to them.

Yeah, exactly. It's possibly overrated by the people who think they're a substitute for deep knowledge and reading and learning. I don't find that I am absorbing, you know, tons of important factual information from podcasts. But for the amount of dead time you have in a day where you run, you walk, you get a coffee, you go to the gym, I feel that it is actually a way of ingesting something quality for free most of the time while you're running or doing whatever, you know, doing a chore. I can't believe how many people I know go, oh, I don't listen to any podcasts. And I think, you, would love that podcast.

But you know what? That's so true that I think the danger is people thinking they are a substitute for books. 'Cause they are, a book gives you so much more information. Anyone who thinks like, oh, I just skimmed a quick idea from a, like, to me, I never get the depth of information anywhere else than I do in a book ever.

No, and so I don't think there's some substitute for learning. Like, I listen to a true crime podcast and now I know all about...

I don't even think an audiobook is a substitute for a book.

I agree with that. I think there are different ways people take in information, but I still don't think it's quite the same concentration.

But you cannot be passive reading a book.

No.

You can be passive listening to an audio book, but still get the validation of I made it through that book. The only way to make it a book, an actual book, is like a five kilometer Race, you can only get to the end by actually running five kilometres. You can't get to the end of a book by just sitting there while it happens to you.

Right, that's true.

All right, well, we'll see.

So, it's been probably several hundred years since the Gutenberg press, but books are still underrated, we've established. So, there we go. All right, well, thanks so much for doing this, bro. Our listeners are gonna lap up having this much quality Matthew in a lovely sandwich.

I've loved being here. Let's do this again. And the podcast for people that don't know comes out, is it twice a week?

It comes out twice a week, yeah. And subscribe of course, so you get every episode. We've got plenty more to come. We had a great year on the podcast and we're coming into the end of the revival year of this and People have been loving it. So thank you for all of your kind lovely words. And the year ain't over yet. So more to come.

And by the way, if you haven't already, go check out mhvirtualretreat.com because we did our first ever virtual Matthew Hussey retreat for people from all over the world to do the retreat virtually. For over a decade, we've run our live retreat twice a year for five days at a time in or six days at a time in Florida here in the States, or there in the States where I normally am. And people have always wanted to be able to do the retreat, but many people can't come either because of finances or travel or getting their kids looked after, the dog looked after, getting time off work, they're a teacher, they can't make the dates. There's all these reasons. Well, for the first time ever, there is no big reason why you shouldn't do it. It's a lot more affordable than the live retreat, the virtual retreat, and It doesn't have any of the logistical complications of the live retreat. It's three days of total immersion with me, Steven's a part of it, my dad's a part of it. We bring our family in and you'll be joined by people from all over the world in what will also give you a new community of people. I think this is a time when we all need community and a lot of people say to me, Matt, how do you actually develop community? How do you make new friends? How do you meet new people? this is going to give you a brand new network of amazing people from all over the world in addition to the coaching that you get for three days. So this is happening again in March of 2021 from the 19th to the 21st. And we are so excited about it here. If you want to go find out more, go to mhvirtualretreat.com.

All right. Wonderful. Thank you so much. A pleasure, listeners and We'll get that lovely theme song to take us out.

Uh, so... Cue the song!

Alright, see you soon everyone. Bye bye!

I see the blog sites, Ookie Woop got a new wife, Shorty got a new boo. Yeah love beautiful, I'm looking for love.

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