Stop Being a Date Crammer!

Did you know your cell phone is made with recycled materials? That's right. In fact, most of the things around you that you depend on every day are made with recycled materials. From essential infrastructure to important innovations, America's recycling companies provide the materials that power our infrastructure and strengthen our economy. Want to know more? Learn how America's essential infrastructure and important innovations are made with recycled materials at recycledmaterials.org that's recycled materials.org.

At Amica Insurance, we know it's more than just a house. It's your home, the place that's filled with memories, the early days of figuring it out to the later years of still figuring it out for the place you've put down roots. Trust Amica Home Insurance. Amica, empathy is our best policy.

Matthew Hussey here with Love Life. I am super excited about today's show because we have a great topic to discuss. But first, I have a question for you. If I told you there were five things you could say to get a man positively addicted to you, would you try them? If the answer is yes, then be sure to listen until the end of today's show, because I'm gonna tell you how you can get your hands on those five magic phrases. Now let's get to the episode. I want to talk today about what I have come to call date cramming. I think that we often associate the idea of cramming with an exam or with a test. You know, we cram the night before, we pull an all-nighter. to try and get everything done. I think that people also go through a cramming process with their dates. You know, they get to the day before a date and all of a sudden they're trying to think ring around and find out what are some cool restaurants to go to? What are some cool bars that we could hang out at? Where is the best atmosphere? Because they don't go to anywhere cool normally. They're trying to figure out what it is they're gonna actually say on a date. How can I, how can I be interesting? Because they haven't done anything recently. It's not like they've actually expanded their mind, read any books, done anything. to create great conversation outside of themselves and their own past. So they're left cramming at the last minute for a date, and that cramming leads to overwhelm. In fact, it's the kind of overwhelm that leads most people to not want to date. So we have to get out of this cramming mindset. And one of the ways to do this is to take a longer term perspective on our dating lives. And say, you know what? What I'm doing right now this week It's not preparing me for a date this weekend. If I do well on a date this weekend, that's a bonus. But what I do this week is not preparing me for this week's date. It's preparing me for the date I'm gonna have in six months. If you start thinking like that, you'll find that it's a pressure valve. It takes all of the pressure off and starts to actually focus you on things that sustainably will improve you as a person, make you feel better when you go on a date, and really make you feel like your life is in gear at the point where that happens. What you do, by the way, when you cram, you start going for superficial change instead of real change. So stop focusing on the date you're going to have this week. You're going to have many dates, right? You're going to have one next month, the month after, the month after that. Focus on who it is you want to have become by six months time. And you'll find that all of those feelings of dread about what's happening right now leave you because you realize you're not training. for the game tomorrow. You're training for the game that's coming later in the year. But that also means, by the way, you have to have the discipline to actually start now and to do the things that sustainably that will help. And look, let me name you a few. What makes you a more interesting date? Reading, read stuff, read books, take in new ideas so that when topics come up, you can actually talk about them. There's nothing worse on a date than watching someone glaze over because they have no idea what you're talking about. So be someone who's interested in life and what's going on around us. Develop a passion. One of the sexiest things is not what someone's passionate about. It's that they're passionate. So find something that you can be passionate about, by the way, little clue, be passionate about everything in life, wherever you can be. Work out, go to the gym, go take up a sport, do something that gets your body energized, that makes you feel good in your body so that by the time it happens, you're not feeling out of shape and like you're playing catch up. Develop a great circle of friends. Developing a great circle of friends is the buffer for any type of dating disaster. You have a good peer group around you, you have good friends, good contacts. You'll find that no breakup, no bad date ever stings as bad because you have great people around you. Go to cool places so that when you do go on a date, you have places that you can recommend because you know what? You went there last month. Someone says, where should we go tonight? And you say, oh my God, there's this amazing exhibit going on. Because you went there last week or you found out about it another exhibit you were at. You're someone who's in some way clued into what's going on around you. And by the way, that doesn't mean you have to become a socialite in your city. It just means that you have to have some things that you know you can do or have done recently that give you a slightly more diverse range of interests than watching Game of Thrones every Sunday night.

So.

Which, by the way, I love, so I'm not knocking it. Just. There's. There's more time. There's more hours in a day. Game of Thrones is just one hour. So that's it for today, my friends. Take the long-term approach, and not only will you alleviate your panic, but you'll start to get real change instead of superficial change. I'll see you soon. Follow me on Facebook. Coach Matthew Hussey and keep listening to love life. Well, I made you a promise at the top of the show that I would reveal five things you could say to get a man addicted to you, and it's time to deliver. These are actually five compliments, and I've put them together in a free guide that you can go download right now. To get your free guide, just go to lovelifepodcast.com/freeguide Compliments.