4 Nov 2016 · 1 min
Matthew Hussey explains how text arguments spiral when each message reads angrier than intended. His fix: call immediately to clarify, apologize if needed, then send a warm text. Save serious talks for voice calls; use texts only for quick gestures and logistics.
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Hello everybody, this is Matthew Hussey with Love Life. I have an incredible show for you today, but I want to make sure you listen right to the end because I'm going to give you a special gift. A foolproof way to become the most intriguing woman in any man's life and you're not going to want to miss it. I'm bringing you a really important subject today, and that is text arguments. Text arguments seem to be a more and more common feature of our society, both between friends, between couples, and anyone else you care about in your life. In fact, the worst text arguments are, of course, with the people you care about most, and it becomes very dangerous. Here's why. Text arguments usually result are usually the result of someone misreading something along the way. Right? You say something and you meant it to have 30% anger, but they read it with 60% anger. And all of a sudden they send back something which now is irritable or irritated and it becomes something that irritates you. You now respond in an even more heightened way and all of a sudden you're in this texting spiral which gets worse and worse and worse. Now I want to talk about how to break that cycle and it's real simple. It's going to involve going back in time a little bit. the moment you feel that there is some sort of disconnect by text, call the person. If someone is like, if someone sends you a message where you say something and they go, okay, and you think, what does that mean? What? Why did they put the in front of the okay? Right? What does that mean? Are they being sarcastic? Are they saying that they're suspicious of something? Are they saying that they don't like something I've said? What are they saying? So now you get angry by your text like, well, what's that supposed to mean? and then they feel that anger in your voice and then they now respond in a big way. Instead, dial the person's number and say, I just wanted to make sure everything's okay. I feel like I didn't know if you were being cold in that text or not. I just wanted to call you and see if everything's okay. And as soon as you do that and you say, I want to hear if everything's okay, of course, they'll either tell you, oh, no, it's fine. I'm sorry. I'm just in the middle of things and I didn't mean to say it like that. You'll get the clear picture or they'll say, you know what? everything's not okay. But then you'll go, well, why? Now they might, now they might tell you. And when they tell you and say, well, I was just a little bit frustrated when this morning you didn't blah, blah, blah. Or when this afternoon you, I asked you something and you seem to ignore it. Then you go, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I never meant you to feel that. That was, I'm so sorry. I was this, that, whatever. Now you actually resolve the situation. So now when you get off the phone, what sort of message do you send? You go, oh my God, I love you so much. I miss you. I'm so sorry about that. And now you get into a warm place again, but that would have taken you five hours by a text message, right? That would have been this downwards horrible spiral that you engaged in. So texting is for gestures, i.e. when you want to say something and that doesn't mean get something, right? You don't say I miss you because you want them to say I miss you back. It's just to say I miss you. So they're for gestures, but they're also for logistics. When you want to say, I'm meeting you at five o'clock today, that little detail can be expressed in a text. It doesn't need a phone But what they shouldn't be used for is discussion. Stick with gestures and if ever a text start to go to discussion with you, pick up the phone, have the discussion and then return to gestures the moment you get off the phone. So that's it. Simple message from me today, which almost could have been said in a text, but not really because it's more of a discussion. So listen, I spoke to you about it, didn't I? I didn't text you. I will see you soon, my friends. This is Love Life with Matthew Hussey. Hashtag Lovelife or add me or follow me on Twitter @matthewhussy or come to my website howtogettheguy.com By the way guys, before you leave, if you haven't already, go sign up to my insider newsletter. I have free videos, free articles for you. All of my best tips are in there. Stuff that I haven't had time to mention in this episode today. Go check it out. You can find it at howtogettheguy.com/advice I will see you in the next episode. Take care. Now, before I go, I want to give you that gift I promised you. I've put together a free guide called 9 Magic Texts no Man Can Resist. Just copy and paste any of the 9 texts and you'll be able to be the most intriguing woman in his life, get him to finally ask you out, reignite his interest if things cool down, and a lot more. But be warned, these texts are so powerful he won't be able to stop thinking about you. So if you're okay with that, get your free guide now by going to lovelifepodcast.com/texts.
