Use THIS Mindset If You're Starting Over In Love | Rewind

Look for those moments where you feel like you're emotionally connected to why this actually is a really exciting new phase. Welcome to the Love Life Podcast with me, Matthew Hussey. Enjoy this clip we've put together for you today. I think you're gonna love it. Does anyone wanna kick off with what they think is one of the big things that people need to think about when starting again?

The thing that springs to mind for me is the idea that you talk about on your retreat, Matt, of turning your plan B into your plan A. I think if you're starting over, it's probably not, you're probably not in the position that you wish you were. You're probably not the, like, the course that you're, you're sort of going through right now isn't the one you anticipated, and it might not be the one that you, you know, wish was happening. So I think it's about almost reframing the reality of your situation now as a starting point before anything else so that you can actually go into it without an energy of sort of regret and melancholy towards how you wish things were or should have been, but rather just excitement for what the future has to hold with this new Plan B, which is now Plan A. I always.

Look at any stage of my life for a role model or inspiration or emotional reference point that kind of aligns with the stage of life I'm in. I remember when I first watched Guardians of the Galaxy, the first one, This is gonna sound so silly, but when I first watched Guardians of the Galaxy, I was single and I had a kind of melancholy at times that I wanted to meet someone, but I hadn't met someone that I wanted to really, truly be with. And I remember watching Guardians of the Galaxy and Star-Lord, Chris Pratt's character, was this sort of single having fun person who was gallivanting around the galaxy, just making the best of it. And for whatever it just stuck with me as like an emotional reference for like, I'm all right. Like life's exciting and it's fun. And you know, there's Star-Lord and he's just got his ship and he's going around and having fun and making the best of it. And, you know, it, it, like, became this weird, silly reference point for me for, like, it became what I would call on the retreat an emotional button for the stage of life that I was in. Now, that's no longer like, that's for me, a reference point that's no longer. the same. So my reference point may change or I might have a new emotional button. But I would, I remember watching the best exotic Marigold Hotel and thinking, if I was like in my 50s or 60s right now coming out of a long relationship and I was finding myself starting again, this movie would be like a fun reference point. It would fill me with a sense of adventure for this phase of my life. It would make me feel like anything was still possible. It would excite me. And that would be an emotional button for me. So I feel like whether it's a real person in your life that you know, or whether it's a movie reference or a book that you've read that gets you excited about something, like to me, the Old Man and the Sea by Hemingway just always makes me feel like I want to just be out on a boat doing something difficult, you know? Like, whatever is the reference point for you that makes you feel emotionally connected to the excitement of starting again, that's something to draw on. Look for those moments where you feel like you're emotionally connected to why this actually is a really exciting new because that's a great place to start from. It's all about our focus. Where does our focus go? If your focus goes to, oh, this is so hard and I never thought I'd be single again at this stage of my life. I never thought I'd have to do this. And it's this backwards look at how your blueprint didn't, the blueprint you had for yourself didn't materialize or got shattered. But if instead you just go, okay, well, that blueprint happened for a while, but now I get to have an entirely new blueprint. And I can either sit there grieving the old blueprint or I can say, actually, this new blueprint can be really, this can be a brand new blueprint. What references do I have for that blueprint being really exciting? And then make those things you connect to, make that reference point, that emotional button, something you connect to every day.

This gives us such good insight into Matt, I think. Because who watches Guardians of the Galaxy and just thinks like, Ah, yes, the everyman, finally. Gallivanting around the galaxy. Finally a movie about me. But actually it's really interesting because Matt is, Really creative. Like there's a big part of just the way Matt, you look at the world and you just like pick little things and you learn from them and you kind of make them your own. But it's really, it's more than just, you know, making a good little story. You really do get creative about just like, how can I get something from this little bit of life and make it mean something? for my life. And there's something really interesting about that example of watching Guardians of the Galaxy and also that range you have between Guardians of the Galaxy and the Old Man and the Sea. To get something from both of those pieces of culture is unbelievable. But they're both really good and they're both really good. And there's something really interesting about if you can really set that mindset of creativity to kind of problem solve your own life with anywhere, just any little crevice of life, just to pick a little bit of something and to get a little bit of meaning out of it, that will definitely help on the new journey.

Thank you, man. That was really sweet. It means a lot to me. Send us, if you're listening to this and you have an example that comes to mind for yourself, either a movie character, a story, piece of literature or something, maybe even a person in your life that has become an emotional button for looking positively and excitedly at the phase of life you're in, send us an email podcast@matthewhussie.com because I actually think it would be fun to read a couple of those or even just leave us a voice note. Leave us a voice memo by email and we'll play the voice note out loud on the show. All right, everyone, that's it for today. But before you go, I have some important news. Our next live retreat dates are set from the 9th to the 15th of October. This year is taking place in Fort Lauderdale on the beach. We're going to be spending six days together diving deep on your biggest life challenges, whether they're to do with your confidence, your relationships, or just past trauma that you know is still getting in the way of you creating the life you want or experiencing the kind of happiness and peace you want to experience. If you want to join us, go to mhrefretreat.com to apply right now. This is going to be an incredible event and we hope to see you there. Thanks for listening as always and I'll speak to you in the next episode of Love Life.