10 Nov 2023 · 5 min
Matthew AI breaks down what confusing texts actually mean in dating. He explains how to spot genuine interest versus someone stringing you along, and why ambiguous messages often signal they're not that into you.
This is an ad by Regain Couples Therapy. Let's be honest, loving your partner doesn't mean you always like them and guess what, that's normal. Regain offers couples therapy that's flexible, affordable, and 100% online. Whether you're reconnecting or working through conflict, Regain is here to support you both. See why people wish they'd try couples therapy sooner. Visit regain.com/couplespod to get 10% off your first month. That's regain.com/couplespod.
He did the politician thing. He said, I hear you. You know, you, you're really giving me something to think about. What you're saying, I'm hearing. what's up, everybody? Welcome back to the Love Life Podcast. We have a clip from the archives today that I think you're really gonna enjoy. Check it out. The following is based off of a real text exchange. Many of you know we have an entire membership program where people every month on webinars with me get to ask questions. Well, I had one member who said that she had been seeing a guy for a few months who he wouldn't make plans with her in advance. She finally got around to sending him this message. Hey, I like you and I feel we have a great chemistry, but I don't really have a clear understanding of your intentions. I'm not really sure where we stand in our relationship and I don't get the impression that you're open to something more meaningful in the way that I am. Not bad, right? Here was his response. Hey, totally hear what you're saying. I'm sorry if I've been creating confusion in any way. Things are a little crazy at the moment. I'm figuring things out right now and I'm taking to heart what you said. Hope you had a great week and are enjoying your evening. Fair enough, eh? Seems reasonable. A well-lettered response. Except he didn't answer. He did the politician thing. He said, I hear you. You know, you, you're really giving me something to think about. What you're saying, I'm hearing. This is a wonderful exercise in maintaining confusion. Now, why would a guy create more confusion? Because if he gave her enough of an answer for her to say, you know what? Screw this. I appreciate your honesty, but I can't do this anymore. Then he would lose the option altogether. That door wouldn't be open for him three weeks from now on Friday night when he wants to fire off a little message after his second beer. Beer number three, I love you. So instead, he gives her just enough ambiguity that he can leave the door open for himself. Now she can go and obsess over what his answer means. The guy for you, the guy you want to be with, is not going to give you an answer that you have to obsess over and analyze and play detective with to get closure. He's not going to do that. Anyone who is certain about you is not going to want to leave you in any doubt about that. Why? Because he doesn't want to risk you going out on a date with Chad on Friday. He wants you to know he wants to take it somewhere. That ambiguity is all the certainty you need about what you should do next. So look, trying is trying, is trying, is trying, is trying, is trying, is trying. You know trying when you see it. It takes the form of someone saying, Hey, I wanna see you again. Hey, I really like you. Hey, I'd like to go out with you. I don't want us to see other people. Trying is trying. And when you get something that feels a little bit too confusing, It's probably because someone is avoiding telling you the thing that would shut the door on you completely, but doesn't want to invite you into their life in the way that you actually want. So remember, trying is trying is trying is trying. Before you go today, I have something for you if this year is the year you want to meet your person. It is a free training I did called Dating With that shows you how to avoid the early mistakes that people make in dating. Finally meet your person and get the safety and the commitment that you deserve with them. Go to datingwithresults.com to watch this free training right now and don't forget to let me know what you think.
