What You Need to Do When You Meet Someone You Like | Rewind
29 Nov 2024 · 6 min
Matthew AI breaks down what happens when you meet someone you like, focusing on scarcity mindset and why letting go with confidence matters in romantic relationships.
Chapters
This is an ad by Regain Couples Therapy and features real testimonials. This was our first time trying therapy, and honestly, it was long overdue. Looking back, we just wish we had started sooner. Regain's qualified therapists help couples when they can't get there on their own. We thought it was intimacy issues, but Andrea helped us uncover a deeper root cause we hadn't even realized was there. Visit regain.com/couplespod to get 10% off your first month. Regain, powered by BetterHelp.
What if that takes them away from me? You know, that job opportunity, they've got that exciting thing that's good for them. We're afraid to encourage it because we want to keep things safe. We don't want to lose them. This is a good thing. Hey everybody, it's Matthew Hussie with the Love Life Podcast. I am excited to share this clip with you today. Let's get into it. I think we have a slight problem right now of a scarcity mindset. I read these comments from people talking about their level of disillusionment, feelings that Even if they did leave the house to go and meet people, you know, there's no good people out there anyway, or living in this place of either numbness or fear, this sense that nothing good is going to happen. There's a side effect to this scarcity, even when we meet someone we like. That's the crazy part. You would think that, you know, this scarcity is just about never meeting anyone you like, but it's actually worse than that. Because now I feel like when people do meet someone they like, they can't even enjoy it because they're so afraid it's gonna go away and if it does go away, I could spend another year or years waiting for the next great thing to come along because there's so few of them out there. People aren't even enjoying the thing when it's in front of them because they're terrified. We get these feelings of desperation that we don't want it to go away. We don't want this person to now leave us or get unattracted to us so we're now trying to say everything right and we're trying to make sure nothing goes wrong with it. We start to worry about, you know, controlling what they're doing. Where are they right now? Who are they with? Could they be with someone else? Should I be okay with them going on that boys night or that weekend trip? We get competitive with that person because our egos can't take it. We're afraid of a good thing happening for them because what if that takes them away from me? You know, that job opportunity, they've got that exciting thing that's good for them. We're afraid to encourage it because we want to keep things safe, we don't want to lose them, this is a good thing. I have learned that it's precisely when the stakes are the highest that we have to be prepared to let go. Letting go doesn't count when the stakes are low, but when the stakes are high, when it feels important, when you're more in love than you've ever been, when you like someone more than anyone you've liked in a really long time. It feels counterintuitive because when you find someone that you're like, God, this is the best person I've ever met, this is, you know, this feels like it could be the thing. It feels like that's the one we have to hang on to tightly. But it's precisely when the stakes are the highest that we have to be prepared to let go. Not trying, not talking about not trying. I'm talking about trying, but from a place of strength and confidence, having the confidence to encourage space, having the confidence to say you should go and do that thing. that job sounds like an amazing opportunity. You should take it. You may be asking, how do you let go when something's that important to me? How do I have that faith? How do I let go? The faith for me at least comes from knowing that you have a world of your own, that you have a center of gravity that lives with you, not with the relationship, not with the person. but with you, that you are fulfilled and happy and excited about life independent of this person, that your life will not only survive but thrive. That is where your power comes from. If you want to continue the conversation with me, if you want to ask me a question about what you've learned today, there is a place that you can do that right now. Go on over to askmh.com and try Matthew AI. You'll literally be able to text or call me. You'll hear my voice answering your question and you can try it out completely free. And if you enjoy it, take advantage of our Black Friday offering where it is 50% off your first month of unlimited Matthew AI. So make sure you take advantage of that while it's available. You can literally have me coaching you any time you want as much as you want. The link again is askmh.com Thank you so much for watching and I'll see you soon.

