13 Dec 2024 · 4 min
Matthew AI and callers discuss what to do when someone says they need time in a relationship. The episode covers how to respond, what it usually means, and whether to wait or move on.
Every day, our world gets a little more connected, but a little further apart. But then there are moments that remind us to be more human.
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You know, trying to bring our best to someone who's also trying to bring their best to us as we both grow and as we both change over the course of a years or longer lifetime. That's not easy.
Hey everyone, it's Matthew Hussey with the Love Life Podcast. Thank you so much for being here. I think you're gonna enjoy this clip. It's a classic from the archives. Check it out and don't forget, if you can leave us a review on iTunes, it would mean the world. It helps us spread the word about this podcast. All right, let's get into the episode.
I just wanna know, what's the best response when someone says, I need to take a few days? for several days.
This was in a what? In an argument or?
No, no, prior to that, I guess two days ago I had talked to him about maybe visiting, but he was kind of inebriated. Where is he?
New York. He's in New York.
Are you like dating?
You're in a relationship or what? Not in a relationship, but I've been.
Trying to figure out what we're doing.
Okay, so you're not exclusive?
No, but I'm not sure, like, I don't want to push the conversation when he's that said, let me take a few days, several days, whatever. So I don't know what my next step is.
Okay, but what did you say? What was it you said that made him take the break? Was it you said, I want to come visit you, or was it that you said, I want a relationship? Okay, so then you, so then now you leave the guy and you never worry about him ever again. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. 'Cause we're not even talking about, we're not even talking about you asking him for exclusivity. You're saying you'll fly from LA to New York to see him and he's saying I need a few days.
On Thursday he was like super excited about it. Of course you should read between the lines, of course I want to see you blah blah blah. Again drunk, so I didn't, I said you know if you are serious we can talk about this the next day.
And then when you tried to talk about it the next day, he said, I need a few days.
Well, he didn't respond.
To the, okay, I'm hearing office now.
It's good to say these things out loud, right? Because that shouldn't be the hard part. Like it really shouldn't. That shouldn't be the hard part. Whether someone wants to see you, that's not supposed to be the difficult part. I'm not the person who thinks that relationships should be easy.
Right?
I think that's kind of a weird, to me, I don't know what easy is.
Right?
Relationships are not easy. We're, you know, trying to bring our best to someone who's also trying to bring their best to us as we both grow. and as we both change over the course of years or longer lifetime, that's not easy, right? But we do it not because it's easy, but because it's meaningful, because it's rewarding, because we want to bring our best to the table. I don't think relationships are easy, but the part where you say, I want to see you, and he says, yeah, I want to see you, That should be fucking easy. And the part where you say, Do you want to just do this like you and me? Just, you know, like have a relationship? And he says, Obviously, I really like you. That part should be easy. Spending a lifetime doing your best to communicate with each other and not hurt each other and be wonderful people for each other, and recommit every year, every day, every minute, give your all. That part's hard. Us saying yes to each other, that shouldn't be hard. So know which part's supposed to be hard, right? Because you can waste a lifetime thinking that this part should be hard when this is the part that's supposed to be easy. Him wanting to see you, that's supposed to be easy. And the fact that like you've got someone who's not sure whether they want you to come and see them when you're offering to fly across the country, it's a joke. Like, I'm not saying he's a bad guy, but he's awful for you.
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