Matthew Hussey addresses the worry that your partner will find your attractive friends more appealing. He argues physical attraction fades while genuine connection endures, and that what matters is the value you bring and the time you spend together, not competing on looks.
Questions this episode answers
June 27, 2016
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"9 Magic Texts no Man Can Resist"; lovelifepodcast.com/9texts
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Welcome to Love Life, I'm Matthew Hussey and I was thinking, almost every question I get on the show is about.
Communicating better with men. What can I get him to say.
To ask me out? What should I text him if he disappears? How can I let him know I'm interested without coming on too strong? So I've done something special for you. I've put together a free guide called 9 Magic Texts no Man Can Resist that give you the exact scripts to use for all different kinds of situations. I'm gonna tell you how you can get your free guide at the end of the show. So stay tuned.
Today I bring you a kind of interesting subject and it's one that people don't really want to talk about. But it came up in conversation with me the other day. I wanted to bring it to you. Someone was saying to me that a very common insecurity for a lot of people is if a woman has this new guy and she's still trying to secure that relationship, should she be worried about introducing that guy to friends of hers that are really good looking? Should she be worried? Now, as you're thinking about this, I want you to think of any scenario in your life where you can imagine a good look. You could be a guy listening to this as well and think, well, I have a good looking friend and I'd be worried about introducing a new woman to my good looking friend. What do you do in that scenario? When I was quizzing the person that talked to me about this, I said, well, why is that a big deal? There is always going to be someone better looking around, right? That's life. So I said, ah, so the problem isn't that they're good looking because you accept that there's other good looking people in the world, right? They said, right. I said, so the problem is that they're actually going to spend time with that person. They said, yes, absolutely. Well, my next question was, well, what if he has a really great looking coworker? What if he's presumably, if he has a great looking coworker, he spends a lot more time with that person than he does with your friend. so how do you square that one in your mind? And they went, well, yeah, I guess I didn't think of that. Because the truth is we're around people all the time. Most of our lives involve us having to work in and around other people. Well, the way I look at it is this. In life, we have two things. One, the things we can control, in other words, the things that are within our sphere of influence. And we have the things that we can't control, the things are outside our sphere of influence. The only things worth thinking about are the things that are inside our sphere of influence. So by the way, you might say that, well, it's in my sphere of influence to decide how much time he spends with that hot friend of mine. And that's true, but it's not in your control to decide that all the time with every single person. So then you ask, is it really worth me exerting energy into that area? Or should I just be worried about bringing the best what do I bring to the table in this scenario? Because that's really what's going to hook someone long term. He can see your friend and think she's good looking, but the truth is that feeling is generally quite transient. A guy can often, by the way, ladies, I don't want to, I don't upset anyone with this comment, but the truth is he might see one of your friends initially and be like, oh, I picked the wrong one.
Right?
I picked, oh, this friend is really hot. And then he spends time with both of you, and after half an hour, he goes, Oh wait, no, I picked the right one. Because the looks thing, that lasts about 10 minutes. But spending time with someone and knowing you can spend time with someone and have a great time with them, that feeling lasts. So forget the first five minutes, worry about the long term. I'll see you soon. If you want more, go to howtogetttheguy.com or if you want to check out.
Videos on my YouTube channel, go to GetTheGuyTeam on YouTube.
Thanks for having me.
Ready for your gift?
Okay, I've put together a free guide.
Called the 9 Magic Texts no Man Can Resist. These are copy and paste scripts that you can use on any guide to create intrigue, attraction, and intense feelings of desire. To get your free guide, just go to lovelifepodcast.com/9texts.
