Bring A Positive Change With ‘As If’ Question
Success coach Mayur Bardolia teaches the "as-if" question, a visualization technique where you imagine already having the skill or confidence you want, then ask yourself how you'd think and act differently. He walks through a seven-step exercise: pick a goal, choose a mentor to model, name your limiting belief, ask as-if questions to that mentor, act as if the outcome is true, handle objections, and test the results.
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Bring a positive change with a miracle question of as if. Hello, it's Mayur Bardolia and welcome to another video where you will learn a technique that can help you to focus on a desired outcome. Adopt a new perspective, overcome limiting beliefs, being more creative, and solve more problems. First, I will describe the technique to you. Then I will guide you through a few examples and some variations of it. Then we will do the exercise in the end. One of the most wonderful questions I ask my coaching clients to bring positive change And help step into the solution is what if, or as if. You can pretend that you already have a skill or capacity which will allow you to learn a new skill very convincingly and with pleasure. What would happen if you could? If I were the best in the world at what I do? How would I behave? Just pretend you already have full confidence and energy, and are the best version of yourself. How do you behave then? What do you think? How do you think? What are you doing then? You can use it to give yourself a feeling or state of mind. For example, now let's pretend we all are having a really good time. Just pretend. Even stubborn moods such as stress can be broken with just pretending. Top athletes and sports people such as Michael Jordan, Serena Williams and Roger Federer make a video in their heads in which they repeatedly imagine the perfect performance. They repeat those films over and over again. You can use the miracle question as a remedy. For example, if you don't get cooperation or resistance from someone, let's pretend that That did not happen. If you want to do something that you are afraid to do and need confidence, use the same wonder question to get someone to do it in small steps. Imagine you could do it. What if you're really good at it? You just have to pretend. Well, now that you're already doing it and you're doing it, you might as well be doing it all the way. And by the way, if you are good enough at pretending you can do something, you can master any skill. As you can see, the wonderful question aims to move you towards a solution. It is therefore a technique from the world of solution-oriented working. Some people may argue, but why would you actually do that? Why would you pretend? Isn't that fake? Not if you believe. And that's what the wonder question is all about. The most special people pretend that everything Is already there. Great thinkers trust in a solution to every problem. Great leaders let themselves be guided and inspired. Great healers see the healing and wholeness of people before a healing really begins. Let's imagine that whatever you do. Oh, sorry. Whatever you need is already here. What do you want? What do you want? Wisdom? That's already here. Peace? That's already here. Inspiration? It's already here. It's all here because you are here. Remember, whatever happens In the real life, it first has to happen in our imaginary world first. And also, you need to believe in that first. Good things happen when you have the belief to make it happen. And after you apply the miracle question, so after you pretend, you don't even have to worry about whether or not the actual feeling will come. Because now it just feels like you already have it. That feeling is the same as the real feeling. Now let's look at some more examples. You can pause after I share some questions or statements so that you can think over it. I cannot dance. Let's say if you say, I cannot dance, and say, what if you could? How would you move? I don't know. If you did, what would it be? I can't imagine. I cannot visualize. Pretend if you could imagine. What if you felt really good now? What if you didn't have the obstacles, for example, any obstacles? What if you did not have any obstacles? If you look at children, children sometimes put on prince or princess dresses, and when a child does that, it becomes a prince or princess. If a child puts on a pirate suit, that it becomes a pirate. Of course, we all see that it is not a real princess or a pirate because it is just a pretend. But the child does not know exactly how it could be a princess, prince, or a pirate. Still, the child can imagine what that is like and why the children— child wants to be a prince, princess, Or a pirate? What if a fairy or an angel came, and if you could make a wish? What do you want to succeed in? What do you want to succeed in? What is the purpose? So the fairy or angel ensures that you have all the power, context, and resources to achieve that goal. When you take pictures of others, say, okay, here comes the picture. Everyone just pretend you are having a really good time. What would it be like if it if it had already worked out? What would you do if you could not fail? And for confidence, pretend you have rock-solid confidence. If you're going to do presentation, so for presenting, pretend to be the best speaker, the best trainer. Let's use the question in the future. Pretend we are six months later, and what if you do it or work on it for the next two months or until it's finished? Another example of being someone you admire or someone you want to be: pretend that you are person X, the person is who you admire. Act as if you are that person. You can use the same question to acquire a new behavior, such as pretend you are already able to do X, or act as if you are able to do something like whatever behavior you want to acquire. Now we have learned many examples. You now know that we can control what we pretend And act as if it happens. So be careful what you pretend or act as if. You can create useful states or emotional states by envisioning excellence, and it is a way to use imagination for success. You can pretend anything. And master it. This is an important skill for using modeling to achieve excellence and success. Modeling means acquiring the new mindset, the new attitude, to copy someone, to be that person. So the first step to put yourself into the second person, that's the best way if you really want to acquire the new behavior or the behavior of someone you really admire. So place yourself into the second person's position, that means other person's position, and imagine what is it like to be that person carrying out the excellent strategies that you wish to really model or want to copy. This strategy contributes to your intuitive understanding of their thoughts and actions. Of course, one must practice one's craft in order to master it. So along with copying someone's behavior, I also recommend you to do sufficient practice. Now let me share the exercise where you can use this pretend, or you know, you can use this technique to solve the problem, adopt a new behavior, new perspective. Overcome limiting belief and be more creative. But I'm going to leave you with the technique or the exercise you can use to get help to achieve your desired outcome or goal. So step one is select a goal you are doubtful about. You are not sure whether you'll be able to achieve or not. Think of a personal goal or circumstances about which you feel doubtful. And if you're new to this technique, choose a smaller goal, such as producing more creative solutions for something you need to brainstorm about. Don't choose any goal that is way out of your capability right now. Choose something that is just a little more outside of your capability. Step 2: Select your imaginary mentor. Pick one person, living or dead, whom you feel would make an excellent mentor for you, who could help you believe in your ability to achieve this goal. And the person should be Very insightful. You should know enough about them to really imagine how they might relate to you. And if you have time, you can learn more about them by doing this exercise. Step 3, specify your limiting belief. Express your limiting belief in terms of the limit that it expresses. Try beginning with a phrase such as, I'm incapable of, for example, I'm incapable of finding a good solution, or I don't deserve any kind of experience. Okay? So I'm incapable of achieving it. I think, you know, I don't deserve this kind of experience, this kind of goal. Step 4, share this situation and belief with your chosen mentor. Imagine that you are speaking to your mentor, explaining the situation as well as your limiting beliefs. Imagine encouragement from your mentor Imagine your mentor respectfully encouraging you to explore a positive as-if perspective with questions such as, what would happen if you could? Respond to these questions as they are asked. And if you still have more doubts, more limiting beliefs, Have your mentor ask you for a follow-up. And imagine they're asking, the mentor is asking as-if questions based on your responses. And step number 6, act as if the outcomes are coming true. Imagine that your mentor is having you act as if the doubtful outcomes were coming true. For example, imagine that you have successfully resolved all the issues you had about this, and with full confidence about it now, what will you be thinking or doing that is different? Step number 7, handle any kind of leftover objections. Remember, it's an exercise. You need to share all your limiting beliefs and objections to your mentor. Notice any leftover objections or resistance you have, and again, continue steps 2 and 3, focusing on these remaining issues. And the last step, test it. As you go about pursuing your goal, notice any improvement in your state and emotional state, your behavior, and any change in your outcome. Feeling good and feeling happy are the prerequisite for success. Most people believe that happiness comes after success, but that is not true. You need to be in a positive emotional state to achieve any success, to achieve any outcome. What can you learn from these results? If the results are disappointing, are there ways you can improve your use of this technique? For example, do you understand the imaginary mentor well enough? And I highly recommend that this exercise is best done for a small skill or a small margin of improvement. Also recommend you to pause on every single step while I was guiding you through the exercise. And it is a good pattern for getting your foot in the door as an introduction To making a major improvements in your mastery. Pretending is actually exactly the same as the real activity. Why worry whether it will actually come true or not? We pretend and visualization, it feels like you already have it, which is exactly the same feeling as actually having it. You have to live like every day is the best day. Pretend every day is the best day. So good luck applying the wonderful question. My name is Mayur Bardolia, a success coach, author, and speaker from North Star Angel Coaching and Spiritual Solutions. Have a nice day.
