Mayur Bardolia argues that self-esteem, not talent, separates successful people from the rest. Most of us can name only a few strengths because childhood criticism and social comparison eroded the natural confidence we had when learning to walk or draw. He asks you to list what you want to improve and share it in the comments.
Hi, this is Mayur Bardolia and I welcome you to the first video of the series of Life Success Mastery Workshop. Now in this video, I'm going to share with you the pillar of the success. What is the difference that makes the difference between highly successful individual and an ordinary individual? So the important factor is self-esteem. Before I move on to What is self-esteem? Let me give you a small exercise. I give you 30 seconds, and in that 30 seconds, you need to find out how many qualities you possess. Yeah, how many good things you have, the qualities you appreciate or others appreciate about you. So pause this video for 30 seconds and write down the answer— how many qualities you possess. I hope you done the exercise. Now let me ask you another question: how many weaknesses you have? Or how many bad qualities you possess? Or maybe people say bad things about you, and maybe you are saying bad things about yourself. So pause this video for next 30 seconds and write down how many weaknesses you have and how many bad things and bad qualities you possess. So go ahead and do it. Welcome back. Now, when I ask this question to many of my clients and many of my students Almost 80 to 90% of them could not give more than 2 qualities about themselves, and very few people came up with more than 5 qualities they possess. Now, why is this so? It is because people actually devalue themselves quite a lot of time. And why is this so? It is because of the— we have been thinking that we are not good enough. Now let me remind you that you are actually more valuable than you ever think. Let me tell you how. When you were only 8 to 10 months old, your bones and muscles were not too strong, right? And you started walking and you fell down, let's say 10 times, 20 times, or maybe 50 times. But did you give up? No, you stood up on your own and started taking baby steps and And eventually you could walk very comfortably, and then you started jumping around and running around. So that means that you are courageous. No matter how weak you were physically, but you are mentally very tough, and you did not accept the failure as a permanent failure. So you are fearless and also very charismatic. Also, you are very creative. What happened? At the age of 1.5 years or 2 years, your parents gave you a pen and they help you to draw, let's say, A or B or 1 or 2. And they will ask you, they ask you to just, you know, just, uh, repeat those on those lines and try to make a shape of A or 1 or something like that. You know what you did? You scribble on the paper. You are not following someone else's system. Someone else's symbol. So that means you're creative. You have you didn't want to follow anyone, so you started painting your own drawings. And you know what? When you first started drawing, you're showing to everyone. You're feeling so happy about your own creation. Then you were dancing like no one is watching. Were you really worried about people's feedback? I guess not. Even your speech was not so clear. Still, you were speaking endlessly in front of people. You were not caring about their feedback. People laughed at you. Did you really care? Did you take it as an insult? Not really. You were improving day by day without considering the laugh and insult by others. So that means you were so much valuable. You were courageous. In fact, you were asked to go where, you know, people didn't want you to go. Still, you managed somehow, like going in dark, going too far, running too far, running around, all those kind of things. Did you really care? No, you were courageous. Now you must be wondering, is that you really? In fact, after the age of, let's say, 2 or 3, something wrong started happening. What happened? People started giving you wrong feedback. People were giving you the, you know, wrong feedback about how bad you are, how bad qualities you possess, and n number of, you know, things that they were telling you. In fact, school is actually meant for the networking, to make friends, but instead what we learned in school— hate, jealousy, Unfair comparison, cutthroat competition, putting people down, and all those kind of things. Maybe in your early childhood, you've been told by your classmates that you are not good enough. They started put you down because you were better than them. And in fact, it's a human psychology that nobody wants to see others growing. So when they saw you growing, they started putting you down. You had, let's say, seven good qualities, but people didn't pay attention to your qualities. They're focusing on your mistakes, on your bad qualities, and soon as they ask you to focus on your bad qualities, you started making it as real. In fact, your failure is not permanent. Your bad qualities is are not permanent at all. So friends, I need to remind you that you are good enough. You are courageous, you're passionate, you're a good communicator, you are fearless, you are charismatic, and you are creative. I just wanted to remind you that you're still the same child as you were 8 or 10 months old, maybe earlier on. Now I'm going to give you another exercise. I'm going to send one document with this video, and on that document you need to do 2 exercises. Number 1 is write down how many qualities you possess. I mentioned few, and you may add some more if you want to. Number 2 is in what areas you want to improve, okay? The areas of improvement in your life. Maybe you want to improve your communication, maybe you want to be emotionally fit, maybe you want to inspire others, maybe you want to motivate others, maybe you want to learn how to handle stress and how to handle your anger. And maybe you want to be a leader. So you want to grow in your life. Just list down what are your wishes, what are your aspirations, and tell me, share with me where exactly you want to improve. You may leave a comment just below this video, and maybe you want to email me, or maybe you can send me a message by Facebook. So I can know what areas you want to improve. So it's a gentle reminder to you that you are good enough. Now there's a very thin line between self-esteem and ego. Let me tell you what is self-esteem. Self-esteem is valuing yourself and valuing others, respecting yourself and respecting others, while ego is respecting yourself only and not respecting others. So friends, I want you to respect yourself. If you don't respect yourself, don't expect anyone else to respect you. It's that simple. Okay, so in the next video, I'm going to share with you some more tools and techniques. So keep watching this space and stay in touch with me. Tell me what are your pains, what are you struggling at, and what do you really want to achieve in your life, and what is the one thing you want to improve From this moment, share with me. I wait for your messages. I wait for feedback. Thank you for watching this video.
