How To Create The Life You Want (My Exact Coaching Process)
In this 2025 YouTube presentation, Mayur Bardolia of North Star Angel Coaching explains a step‑by‑step framework for deliberately designing one’s life. He begins with a GPS metaphor to illustrate how most people repeatedly take the same wrong turns because they ignore internal guidance. He then breaks down the observable chain of actions leading to results and argues that merely changing actions is insufficient. The core of his model is a deeper causal cascade: awareness/attention shapes feelings, which generate thoughts, which become decisions, actions, and finally outcomes. He emphasizes that attention and consciousness are the true generators of thoughts and emotions, not the other way around. Building on this, Bardolia introduces identity (core beliefs) as the operating system that filters all downstream processes; changing identity is likened to reinstalling a computer’s OS. He provides a practical identity‑shift technique—visualizing oneself as a new character (e.g., a doctor) to instantly alter thoughts, feelings, and actions. He warns against juggling multiple conflicting identities and advises decluttering to a single, goal‑aligned self‑concept. The coaching process he uses moves clients from emotional work to belief work, creating a ripple effect that reshapes thoughts, decisions, and results. Throughout, he stresses experimentation, treating the method like a recipe to test, tweak, and iterate. The video concludes with a call to share the content and contact information for his coaching services.
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Welcome to the video. This is Mayur Bardolia from North Star Angel Coaching and Spiritual Solutions. I have been helping people to achieve success and happiness. Since 2010 with my coaching and training. In this video, we're going to talk about how to create the life you want. Imagine driving with your GPS on. You keep ignoring the directions and turning down The same wrong street. The GPS keeps recalculating and telling you that you need to change your route, and you keep ending up in the same place. That's how many people treat their lives— same turns and same destination. And yet, that's exactly how most people Live their lives. They repeat the same action harder and harder, and then wonder why nothing new is showing up. But life does not work that way. In this video, we talk about something different: how to create the life you want, or how to design the life you want. You will learn the strategy that I use in my personal coaching sessions to help my students creating the life they desire, getting the outcome they want. Not a fluffy idea, not just believe and it'll happen. No, this is the clearest process I know of creating the outcome you want. And here's the kicker. It only works if you play with it. Don't just take my word for it. That will not work. Test this out. Play with your ideas. Try them out. Treat it like a recipe. Try it. Taste it. Tweak it. Information by itself is like a shopping list on your fridge. It's useful, but dinner does not cook itself. You have to bring it to life. Because if you just nod with me in this video while I'm talking to you and then go back to scrolling through random videos on YouTube and social media, Nothing will change. This is a doing thing and not just a watching thing. First, look around your life. Take a moment and look at your life. You have already created the life you have now, either consciously or subconsciously, with your awareness or without your awareness. Everything that you can point to, your car or no car, your relationship status, your bank balance, your fitness, your mood, the way you talk to people, those are the results. They didn't appear by magic. They followed a chain. How did all of these things come into existence? I'm asking you this question so that you know whatever you have in your life so far has come to you, so that you can understand the process of creating the life you want by yourself. How have you created this life so far? If there's a glass of water on the table, something happened right before it showed up. You reach for the glass. If there's a car in your driveway or parking, something happened right before it became yours. You signed, you paid, you borrowed or bartered. Results don't just happen. They succeed something. At the most visible level, actions create results. You took action and you got a particular result. Good action leads to good results. It's simple, right? If you go to the gym or do the exercise, you become healthier and fitter. You take productive action and you get things done. You send a message and you get a reply or an awkward silence. Even negative results are still results. If you're not performing well at your business or job, it's not a failure. It's simply the outcome of many small, consistent actions or inactions. It's like if you're going somewhere and you take the correct route, correct roadmap, you reach the destination. And if you take the wrong turns, You keep circling and get lost. So whatever results you have because you took some action, whether productive or not, and you got the results. Actions have consequences, either positive or negative. And you may think, duh, it's obvious. Absolutely. Creating the life you want is actually simple. Write down the actions that are aligned with your goal. Find out what actions are required to achieve that goal and just do it. And stop doing things that are not aligned with your goal. It's simple, isn't it? It's simple, but it's not easy. Most people take the same action and expect different results. So what makes you take action? What do you do right before you take action? I want you to think for a moment and really look for yourself and participate in this process. If you have said thoughts, you got a gold star. And the specific answer is the decision, a thought that you chose. So you chose a thought, which means you made a decision. It led to an action and you got a result. The basic requirement to create the life you want is the decision. But your life is chaotic and our awareness is not where it's supposed to be. Our life and our awareness, or should I say attention, are not aligned. We have a storm of thoughts going on in our head, and we make a few good decisions, but not all of those decisions turn into action. The thoughts, decisions stay in your head. Even if we decide something, And we change it later on. We struggle to stick to our decision. Our decisions change every day. We even stop taking action on our decision and we get lost in undesirable tasks, boredom, or become just too lazy to work on it. Many would call their decisions intentions, or words. If our life and awareness or attention are in tune with each other, then your positive decision will lead to positive action and positive results. Decisions are shaped by thoughts and at a deeper level, by feelings. So as you have hundreds of thoughts, Throughout the day, and out of these hundreds of thoughts, you pick up one thought and you turn into decision. You act upon it and you get results. If your thoughts and feelings are negative, then you will make negative decisions. If your thoughts and feelings are weak, you will make weaker decisions. Let's say you're feeling negative about the important work that you do or are supposed to do. You will decide to avoid it subconsciously because your feelings are negative towards your work. You will postpone it. You will do other things that are less important because you want to avoid important work. But let's say you are positive about keeping yourself fit and healthy. You decide to go to gym, do exercise, and follow the diet enthusiastically, and go for a walk or run. And the same goes for all areas of your life. So what we learned so far is that apart from working on our action alone, we need to pay attention to our thoughts and feelings. Otherwise, action without the right thoughts and right feelings will not create the life we want. It's just like if the base of the house is not strong, you cannot build a stronger house. It's like if we take decision half-heartedly, that means if we decide, Without positive thoughts and feelings, it'll not create the results we, as we expected. For example, suppose you want to be healthy, but not with the right feeling. Let's say you're doing exercise with compulsion, having a negative attitude towards diet or exercise. Even if you do the exercise for a longer period of time, And follow the diet regularly. In that case, the results will be temporary, and eventually the underlying feelings and thoughts will kick in, and you will be at the same place when you first decided to be healthy. Your thoughts and feelings will lead to same old behavior and action. Most people don't talk about it. Most trainers, coaches, and new age gurus don't know about this process. Most emphasize only on thoughts, positive thoughts, and empowering thoughts. They believe that thoughts will create reality. Think positive and positive things will happen. Think about it. So feelings or emotions create reality. Obviously, the decisions and actions are also involved, but not only thoughts. Thoughts are powerful, but they're not the only thing that creates the life you want. Now, what creates the feelings? And that's where my success coaching comes into picture. The source of the thoughts and feeling Is our attention and awareness, which you also call our consciousness. Most people say that awareness and attention are the products of our thoughts, but that's not true. Our consciousness, awareness, and attention generate thoughts. In simple words, I can say that we can, we think of things that we pay attention to. This attention can be both conscious and subconscious. We get what we focus on, which means that when we shift our attention and awareness, we create the thoughts related to it. For example, pay attention to the recent time when you were very happy or joyful. Just think of that happy moment. And by just thinking of that happy moment and paying attention to it and shifting our awareness to it instantly puts you in a good mood. Another example, just pay attention to something you truly admire. It can be a person, an animal, or a thing. When you pay attention to it, you instantly feel good. But the same goes for any negative event, experience, or person too. As soon as you pay attention to something or someone you don't like, you instantly feel unhappy, angry, and agitated. Now you know that just shifting your awareness, attention, or consciousness to something either positive or negative, It creates a set of feelings and also thoughts. So when you change your awareness or attention, your feelings create thousands of thoughts. And when you change your hundreds of thousands of thoughts, it'll create hundreds of decisions and actions and eventually results. It may take some time to notice how your awareness and attention change your actions and results, but it does. As you noticed in the example earlier, how you change your emotion and how it instantly changes your thoughts, decisions, actions, and results. So you just need to shift your attention to create different feelings. Hundreds of new thoughts, decisions, actions, and results. It's like a big ocean floor under everything. Out of it rise your thoughts, your feelings, your choices. And if you shift that even slightly, boom, ripple that turns into tsunami on the surface level. But there's another thing that happens between awareness, feelings, and thoughts, and it is called identity. Here, you may call it a core belief. It's a fundamental program that runs our subconscious mind. You'll notice that beliefs are difficult to change. Because they operate out of our awareness. Beliefs and identity are like the operating system of a computer. It runs in the background, and our attention, thoughts, and feelings are softwares, and the decisions, actions, and results are the output. If our software is corrupted, Or has bugs, the output will also be corrupted, or at least not as we want it to be. And if the operating system is poor, corrupted, or slow, no matter how extraordinary the software you try to install, it'll not run. So no matter how many codes you change in your task, if the underlying operating system is not fixed, That means the software such as attention, thoughts, and feelings will not be fixed. Let's understand it differently. The identity or core belief is the lens through which you see the world. If you look through red color lenses, You will see red things around you. Everything will look red. If you look through a yellow color lens, you will see everything yellow. You will see the world and filter out what you want to see and what you don't want to see. Here, seeing means where you put your attention to. Your identity and belief are operated at the subconscious level. It's outside of your awareness. So you have to shift your awareness consciously. You have to change your identity and how you see yourself. I've been coaching people since 2010 in my private sessions and workshops on the technique to shift your identity. Or identities. You need to get rid of your old identity, choose a new one, and adopt the new identity. Remember a game you used to play in your childhood called pretending to be a specific character, and instantly you started behaving like, like that character? Any character. Such as Spider-Man, Superman, a movie character, a comic character, a dancer, comedian, a superhero in a movie, or any sports person. So just by seeing yourself in a new identity and pretending to be in the new character, you will have specific thoughts, feelings, and actions. You see the world through identity glasses. Let's try this now. Let's say you are a doctor. Identify yourself as a doctor, and you will have the thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions of a doctor. You see the world through doctor glasses. You make doctor decisions, take doctor actions, and get doctor results. If you have the identity, I am a doctor. For example, doctors statistically rarely get sick. The identity is I am a healer, not I am a sick person. The reality has to match that. The identity Does not allow them to be sick. They see themselves as a provider of cure and treatment of illness. They do it on a day-to-day basis, even though they deal with sick people directly. So now you know how powerful identity is. So you are going to make a shift in your identity, how you see yourself. That also means what you believe about having that identity. Once you change it, everything else will change instantly. Your awareness, attention, consciousness, thought, feelings, decisions, actions, and results. So to change your external reality, your life or your results, you first need to change your identity and the core belief. And here is where many people go wrong. They keep trying to change the externals. Changing external circumstances usually fails. Getting a new job or a new partner is just putting a new coat of paint on a house with a crumbling foundation. New job, new house, new relationship, but you take your old identity with you wherever you go. Change the scenery all you want. If you don't change the role, the same story will repeat. No matter how many new actions you take, you'll still be getting the same old results. You take you with you wherever you go. If your identity is, I'm unlucky with money, you could probably win the lottery and you will probably end up investing it in a company that makes stupid products. You would find a way to make it fit your identity. It's like you are painting your rusty car with a broken engine. It'll not work because the car will not work and move without a working engine. Even if you're not going to drive, it looks better for a month or few months, but sooner or later the rust will be visible. The real leverage sits deeper, which is awareness, identity, and core beliefs, because these are the operating systems. If you keep tinkering only with the apps, that means your job, your routine, you will never see real transformation. If you don't change your identity to that of a rich and abundant person, you will still lose what you make. And if you don't change your identity as a healthy person, you'll still be overweight and not fit. If you don't identify yourself as a positive person, you'll still feel negative even after reading countless self-help books, listening to 100 hours of affirmations, or watching motivational videos on YouTube. So what's the solution? Simplify. Release the clutter of contradictory identities, mismatched feelings, scattered thoughts. Having multiple identities creates a lot of confusion, and many times these identities are in conflict with each other. It's like you're trying to focus on multiple things at one time. But that's impossible. Your mind cannot focus on more than one or probably 2 things at a time. You cannot pay undivided attention to multiple things. So having multiple identities cannot work. Scattered and conflicting identities will lead to conflicting thoughts, feelings, decisions, and actions. So actively remove identities and pick up just one identity that will create the belief, thoughts, feelings, decisions, actions, and reality you want. You have to declutter your mental warehouse. Release the old junky beliefs and identities. Then consciously choose a new one that actually serves the goal you want. You see movie stars portraying different identities in different films. They go into the character or identity of that movie, and they think, behave, and act in accordance with the character or identity. So here's the process: identity, That means core belief that changes your awareness, attention, or consciousness, that changes your feelings and your thoughts. Then that changes your decision, action, and eventually results. If you want to create the life you want, it's about going deeper than just taking action. Because when you change the foundation, the rest follows naturally, like dominoes falling in perfect order. In my coaching session, I start by helping my clients change the emotions that lead to changes in thoughts and decisions. And at the second level, which is one level deeper, I help my clients change their core beliefs and in some cases, their identities. Because a tiny shift At that level creates a massive ripple at the surface. Many people are hesitant to change at the level of core belief and identity because it creates massive change in their thoughts and feelings, and they may not be, you know, ready for it yet. Yes, it can be scary because a small change in your awareness Can shake up everything, but that's also where the real freedom lies. It is highly recommended and safe to change your awareness, beliefs, and identity under the guidance and coaching of an expert. If you like this presentation and process of creating the life you want, play with your awareness. Experiment with it. Experiment with your identity and shift your feelings. And when you do that, life actually changes and is for the better. I hope you find this presentation helpful. Please share this with someone who may find it helpful. Please share it far and wide. This is Mayur Bardolia, a success coach from North Star Angel Coaching and Spiritual Solutions. To know about my coaching, please visit northstarangel.com/coaching. If you wish to book a coaching session and workshop or invite me as a speaker, Reach out to me at contact@northstarangel.com. Thanks for watching. Have a nice day.
