How to deal with jealousy and stay happy in your business?

Hi, this is Mayur Bardolia and you are listening to Love Your Business Podcast. This podcast isn't about magical tactics on running the business that makes you bored and tired. Instead, it's about how to love your business so that you can enjoy doing it and enjoy more time for yourself. I suggest a small experiment. Take a good friend to his favorite restaurant for lunch or dinner. Tell him to order his favorite dish. Now sit across from him and order what you like. The only rule is, throughout the meal, You cannot look at your plate. You should keep looking at your friend's plate, talking to him and watching him eating his food while you are having your food. Please don't cheat. Don't look at mirrors. Don't ask your friend to instruct you anything. Don't look at your plate. Just keep looking at your friend's plate. Can you imagine how uncomfortable the meal would be? In spite of having your favorite dish in front of you, you can't enjoy it. And it doesn't matter that you have watched your friend eat every bite of his plate. His plate is an analogy for his life, and your plate is yours. This is what happens when you keep watching. someone else's life instead of focusing on how we can do better in ours. There's really no point in doing that. This is what we do when we are jealous. You may call it hate or envy. Facebook and other social media platforms were designed to interact with more people. Its purpose is to connect people and engage them, and it's quite good. It has helped me and many others to connect with people we could have never met. Our life has changed. Our habits are different than before. People spend more amount of time on social media, and sometimes it's for good too. But there's also some bad things about it. I was talking to a friend of mine, Mr. Dharmesh Joshi, who helps people in dealing with emotional problems. What he said that there's a huge rise of clients who are dealing with lower self-esteem, anger, and greed. Our discussion went on for 2 hours or so. He found out that most of his clients were using social media extensively. They become jealous of others. They become jealous, and the jealousy led them to feel unworthy and angry. They keep checking what others are saying and what others are doing. Jealousy is driving people to good results at some level, but if it's not handled correctly, It can make you miserable. This jealousy or envy is found in everyone, including me. I admit it, I was jealous, I was envious. The jealousy builds up quickly and most of the time without your awareness. We want our peers to succeed as long as they don't see more success than we do. Other people's success makes you feel insecure. Other people's success makes you think about your mistakes, failures, and shortcomings. It is scary. It was this type of thoughts that ruins our life. You want to be happy, right, and motivated, but the feeling of jealousy Makes you frustrated. We don't want to do business like that. So let's find out how to deal with jealousy and stay motivated instead. We are going to discuss: Is it good to be jealous or not? Then how to stop being jealous? Then how to stay happy and motivated instead? So let's find out: Is it good to be jealous? Can envy really help us? Let's find out. In the summer of 2015, I had a chance to meet swimming coach who was coaching swimmers who were playing at an international level. Now swimming is a fast-paced game where you need to be at a high energy level. It's one of those sports where you are required to have strong stamina. I asked him about what a swimmer must have to win the race, and he answered, just keep an eye on your finish line and don't look elsewhere. Feeling envy is a warning. You should refocus on yourself. In business, we do random things. We are trying to find out what others are doing. We secretly follow our competitors on social media and find out what they are doing. Then we start copying, and it doesn't work out. Why? Because we are not focusing on our efforts. We are focusing on what others have got, and we feel angry. We look at people posting their income, their cars, their house, and their holiday pictures. We feel that others are having all the fun and I'm not. Nobody posts their failure or miserable life on Facebook or shared in public. We don't see what they don't show. We don't live our dream life and we feel hate and jealousy. When others have what we don't have. Jealousy makes us ugly from the inside out. It consumes your energy and turns them into negative energy. As a result, you feel tired, unworthy, and depressed. Soon you become lazy. You become addicted to jealousy, and you want more proof to feel jealous. So it keeps going on. This negative energy builds up inside you and it drains even more energy. Guess what? You release more hate out. You get angry and irritated. Jealousy is a poison that occupies enormous space in mind. As a result, You stop creating ideas. You struggle to focus and become lazy. You look elsewhere and don't focus on your finish line, and you lose. Winners focus on winning and losers focus on others. So that takes us to the second part, how to stop being jealous. Let's find out. In my journey, I've been doing a lot of things. I work in textile companies, hotels, corporates, university, colleges, and many more things I can't even remember. I've seen the time where I had no work. When I started in the training and coaching business in 2010, things were not moving at all. In fact, for a year there was almost no work. I was going here and there, but nothing significant was happening. I presented at places and almost none of them replied. There was no hope. It was complete darkness. Then I got my first client. I at least began with. Then I served a few more clients. Fortunately, some of them liked what I did for them. They recommended me to more people. The darkness. Was moving away slowly. Then more people added on my list. There were many people I didn't even know who have recommended me. I got support from people. They were like angels to me. I started moving up and I was serving clients in my city, Surat, in India. Eventually I started delivering training to people from all over India. And the world. My products and courses have reached to more than 150 countries. It took 10 years. It was not possible without those few angels who gave me the opportunity to demonstrate my skill. Those people helped me to kick off my business. And gave me the confidence to create more content, courses, and products. They were way ahead of me in business, and if they did not have come in my life, I wouldn't be speaking on this podcast. They gave me love, kindness, and support. This is what I don't want to forget. It helps me in dealing with jealousy. When I envy, I quickly remind myself of what I was when I started. I go back to the time when I started. It gives me pleasure and joy. This trick has helped me in staying focused on my work and on my finish line. I'm still going forward. I'm still in the process of learning more and delivering more. I don't feel envy because the people who trusted me in the early stage of my business reminds me to be kind, caring, and helpful. Because we don't want to be jealous, we also want to enjoy doing our business. So that takes us to the third part: how to stay happy and motivated instead. Let's find out. I was having a walk at a seaside near my place. At one point, I saw a man catching crabs. He had a big bucket full of crabs. I saw that every time a crab tries to get out of the bucket, Another crab pulls it down. Each crab who could not get out was trying to pull the crab who was trying to get out of the bucket. They all were hating each other. If I can't get out, by all means I won't allow you to get out of the bucket. But some crabs managed to escape and ran away. They survived for from being hunted and went back to the sea. We are like those crabs trying to pull the other crab down, and it doesn't work. The crab has escaped, and now we are left alone in this dark bucket, and we are afraid. We see no light. Isn't it what you probably are doing too? You spend days and weeks and months in the bucket contemplating and wishing and thinking. You're tired of seeing the people around you doing well while you are trying to make the improbable probable. They're making big money, getting a good life, and you are in the same position or at the worst position. You regret wasting your time Money and energy. No matter how hard you try, you can't get ahead of others when you envy them. It's pointless to follow someone and hate them at the same time. You don't need to keep checking others where they are heading to. You haven't got any clue where they are heading to. You don't know their purpose. Their goals are different than yours. Yet you secretly want to reach where they are going to. Your envy gets you so distracted from your road that you go to a whole different direction you don't want to go to. Instead, you can focus on what matters to you. Your competitors have different plans. You can never know. By the time you know their plans, they are already many steps ahead of yours. They're ahead of us, or probably we think they are ahead of us. That's why we feel jealous. Now here's the thing: if I envy people ahead of me, I cannot become like them. You can't get what you hate. So if you hate what people have, You can't get what they have. If you envy at people where they are right now, you can't get to that position. It's because when you hate, your mind starts avoiding it. You're only competing with yourself because everybody is you. To envy another is to envy yourself. To beat another is to Beat yourself. You could learn from the person you envy if you are not blinded by hate and bitterness. Learning feels better than hate. A better life is waiting on the other side of envy. Envy is a negative version of inspiration. Jealousy, envy, and insecurity are chains for your mind. They bind you to the approval of others. Make the most of your precious time on this earth. You were not created to live in guilt or envy. Every life is special in the sense that it is different. I can't compete with you and you can't compete with me. The only person I can compete with is the person I was yesterday. Competing with others, not only a waste of time, but it is a waste of life. Because it will get you off your track and will have you doing stuff you hate. Don't compete with the crowd. Just keep an eye on your finish line and follow your track with a smile on your face. That takes us to the end of the podcast. So let's summarize what we have covered in this podcast. Jealousy or envy is found in everyone, including me. I was jealous, I was envious. Now I know how to deal with it. The jealousy builds up quickly and most of the time without your awareness. We want our peers to succeed as long as they don't see more success than we do. Other people's success Makes you feel insecure. Other people's success makes you think about your mistakes, failures, and shortcomings. Then we discuss, is it good to be jealous or not? Feeling envy is a warning. You should refocus on yourself. We secretly follow our competitors on social media and find out what they are doing. Then we start copying and it doesn't work out. Why? Because we are not focusing on our efforts. We are focusing on what others have got and we feel angry. Just keep an eye on your finish line and don't look elsewhere. Winners focus on winning and losers focus on others. Then we talk about how to stop being jealous. I have seen the time where I had no work for almost a year. Then I served one client and a few more clients were added and things started getting bigger. It took 10 years. It was not possible without those few angels who gave me the opportunity to demonstrate my skill. They were way ahead of me in business And if they did not have come in my life, I wouldn't be speaking on this podcast. They gave me love, kindness, and support. This is what I don't want to forget. It helps me in dealing with jealousy. When I envy, I quickly remind myself of what I was and when I started. I go back to the time when I started. It gives me pleasure and joy. This trick has helped me in staying focused on my work and on my finish line because I also want to enjoy doing my business. So that takes us to the third part. We talk about those crabs who could not get out and were trying to pull the crab who was trying to get out of the bucket because they all were hating each other. But some crabs managed to escape and ran away. They survived from being hunted and went back to the sea. We are like those crabs trying to pull the other crabs down, but it doesn't work. And it's pointless to follow someone and hate them at the same time. Competing with others not only a waste of time, but it's also a waste of life. Because it will get you off the track and will have you doing stuff you hate. Just keep an eye on your finish line and follow your track with a smile on your face. So that's the end of this podcast. So what's happening in my world? We are looking for shortcuts and save time. Now saving time is good, but copying someone to save time won't help in the long run. You look at your competitors and trying to promote your business as they do. It doesn't work. You think it works, but it doesn't. It's easy to check others, but their offer should not be your offer. Your offer should be unique. You want to be unique in the market, right? So why follow someone else's uniqueness? Customers will be confused when your offer is similar to others. So how to create a unique offer? How to present the offer that makes customer buy from you? To find out, go and read my book OfferCraft. It's available on Amazon as a Kindle edition. It's an ebook. You will find the scientific system you can implement step by step. You'll find a lot of examples so that you will easily understand how to create your unique marketing offer. It's fun to read with a lot of cartoons. You will enjoy it. So go and buy OfferCraft from Amazon. It's O F F E R space C R A F T. It's Mayur Bardolia. Bye for now. Still listening? If you haven't subscribed to my podcast or newsletter, go to mayurbardolia.com forward slash. Subscribe. Once you subscribe, you will get my free ebook, One-Liner Report. It will show you how to explain your business so that your customers listen and understand in just 1 minute. You will also get more podcasts full of new ideas, free articles, offers, announcements, and of course, free goodies. You should subscribe if you haven't yet. So go to mayurbardolia.com/subscribe. If you think any of your friends should listen to the podcast like this, ask them to go to mayurbardolia.com/subscribe and ask them to subscribe. इस मयूर बाडोलिया साइनिंग आउट