How to get liked?

Now here's the uncomfortable truth. No matter how good you are at your technical skill, the more you advance in your career, the more social skill you have to be. Now the thing is, if you want to grow in your life, let's say if you want to be a senior level manager or a CEO, you have to get the job done through others. And you have to influence others to work for you happily. Leaders actually influence others to follow. Now, in order to be a leader or a senior-level manager or successful senior-level manager, you have to be really good at social skill because ultimately you have to get the job— you have to get the job done through others. So you need to understand the importance of social skill. Because everybody wants to grow in their life. Soon as you know people join any job place, or soon as you know they start their own business, they all want to grow. But the thing is, you can grow in your life only through the help of other people. That's the fact. Okay? Whatever you know you have achieved so far, or whatever you are going to achieve in your life, it will all come through communication with others. It will all come through. Help from others. So this is the fact, you have to be really good at social skill in order to be successful in your life. Now here's a simple question for you, who you would love to hang around with, talk with, or work with? Would you like to work with a person you don't have fun with, you don't know, you know, you don't like talking to that person? Or would you love to work with or talk to a person You know, who is very friendly and, uh, is very outgoing. So obviously you love to, you know, work with person who is socially skilled, because obviously, you know, your technical skill, your knowledge, you know, don't really much matter if you're not really good at interpersonal skill, if you're not really good with how to connect with others and how to talk with others. Now in this session, we're going to focus on how to get like That's the foundation of every, you know, relationship. So you're going to learn how to get liked because you love to work with people who you like. The same way others love to talk with, you know, walk around with, go out with, you know, go out to dinner with, and love to work with people they like. So in this session, we're going to focus on how to get liked. Now, how to get like? First of all, you need to change the way you look at people. You have to change your frame of mind. When you go out of your house, have a frame of mind that I'm going to meet a really interesting person today, and that will change the way you look, you talk to a person. So it's actually a psychological game. Now do a small exercise. Go out of your house and have a frame of mind that everyone is boring, everyone is, you know, not really interesting person, and just see how you connect with others. Even if you just have a frame of mind like this with your friend, you will actually try not to, you know, talk to your friend. And obviously your friend will realize from your body language that you are not really interested in talking to them. And this is actually the core thing You need to set the right frame of mind. So instead of that, have a frame of mind that let me just meet an interesting person. In fact, world is full of really interesting people, so why not approach them? So do this exercise again, but with a different mindset, like I'm going to meet a really interesting person, and see how you connect with others. You're going to enjoy doing conversation with almost everyone, including strangers. Now here's another example for you, and it's a very small question. Imagine yourself sitting in a, in a social gathering, any party or wedding, and you see one person walking in and he's not smiling, and he's just slowly putting his coat on a chair, and he's just sitting down, and nobody's talking to him. He's not even talking to anyone. And he can see people, you know, around and just thinking if he can talk to anyone, but no luck. And you can notice everything happening in front of you. Would you like to talk to that person? And now have a look at another person. He walks in, he smiles, and you could see that people are actually getting attracted towards that person, and he's also approaching person. Genuine, with a genuine interest and giving respect to almost everyone. He's meeting everyone with, hello, how are you doing? And you can see the enthusiasm on his face, you can see the energy in his voice, and you cannot hear what's happening, you cannot hear what he's trying to say, but you can still feel like that must be an interesting person. And he's meeting almost everyone, and people are calling him on his table and on the table. And you can see he is the life of the party. Now, would you like to meet that person? Obviously yes. In fact, I would suggest you to be that person, to be the person people like to talk, people love to hang around with. So be the person people like to talk to and work with. Now, would you like to talk to a person Who is always needy, who is always trying to seek for some profit or money or something from almost everyone? Would you like to meet that person? You like that kind of salesman who just trying to just get something from you, not only from you, from everyone. In fact, people have the the mechanism in their mind which protects them from a danger. In fact. People love to save themselves from being looted. Now, it's a very funny word, getting looted. The interesting thing is, when you meet a stranger or meet anyone, you become conscious when you realize that the other person is trying to grab something from you that you don't want to give away without any value in return. So here's the thing, the same rule applies with everyone around you, including YouTube. When you meet someone, have no neediness attitude in your mind. What I mean by that is, when you meet someone, have unconditional respect for everyone around you. In fact, when you meet someone, have the frame of mind, you know, like, you know, I don't want to get anything from you, I want to serve you. Want to give my level best to you. Make people feel comfortable without just getting, you know, without being recognized as a needy person, a needy and greedy salesperson. Always approach people with respect. Always approach people like you don't want to get anything from them. If you have this frame of mind, remember, mind and body are connected. When you have this kind of belief in your mind, You automatically subcommunicate through your body language that you are safe person to talk with, and people can realize that. And people create, you know, people commit really big, you know, big mistake, you know, especially in business deals and even in dating and any social gathering. We just want to gain or see, you know, people as an opportunity to make some money. So don't be like that person. In fact, your job as a business person or any individual is to serve others. In fact, we come into the world to serve the community. In fact, obviously, you know, in return of the value. But the thing is, you got to initiate that you do— you want to help others out without, you know, without any expectation from others. So when you have this kind of frame of mindset, people see you as a genuine person And people love to connect with you. Also, when someone asks for your introduction, don't just go out with, look, I'm doing this, I'm doing that, I got this much of wealth, I'm blah blah blah. People are not really interested in you. In fact, people are interested in themselves only. Now, when they ask you, always make them more curious about you. Don't give them all answers in your first conversation only. Let's say, for example, if someone asks me, what do you do? I say, I'm a coach and an author. And that makes them curious and say, author, that sounds great. What book you have written? I can say, I wrote 3 books and on these topics. That's powerful. And then they ask me more questions. In fact, when you go out, when someone asks you a question, don't just, just talk, talk, and talk. Okay, make, you know, allow them to say too because they want to have a conversation with, and you don't want to have a conversation which is only one way. I don't want you just say out only and make them listen to you. Always engage people in your conversation. What I mean by engaging people in conversation is always make them curious. In fact, ask them questions too. And don't ask too many questions. People have the, you know, habit— I can say people make a big mistake of asking too many questions. You are not taking or doing an interview of anyone, okay? You are engaging people in a conversation. Ask them a question and wait for them to give you answer. And when you ask a question Always add some of— some points from your side too. And your job is to know others and get people to know about you. So when you give introduction, stop with 1 or 2 sentences and make them more curious. Maybe you would love to ask some questions, okay? Ask only 1 or 2 questions. Do not ask closed-ended question. That means don't ask question which has the obvious answer of yes or no. Always ask question in such a way that they can, you know, they can describe in more detail. People love to give answers if you ask them the right questions. Now learn, learn to give right compliments to people. People love to get compliments. Why? It's because people are always seeking for validation. Let's say, for example, if you're wearing a new clothes or, you know, buying a new watch or something, you want people to pay attention to you, okay? You want people to give you compliments, and people are hungry for compliments. And I don't want you to just give them compliments. Don't just blast off with compliments. Always give compliments with reasons and always add some more points to your compliments. Let's say if someone has, you know, bought a new watch, you can say, oh, did you just buy a new watch? I like that watch. What model is it? Okay, and you can just add some more points. You can say, okay, I actually seen one of those, you know, watches before and I like that too. Sometimes in my life I wear the same kind of watch, but I like this model you are wearing. I like your choice. That's how you can give compliments to others, okay? That's how you can just, you know, praise others. And remember, there's a thin line between compliments and flattery. Always make sure that people do understand when you're giving them the right compliment and when you're not. Now, to summarize this session, I will give you Some exercises. Now there are different sort of exercises than before. First of all, you don't need to do anything as a part of exercise. What do you mean by that? Just observe how you talk to others for next two or three days. You just meet people and see if you are asking more questions or not asking any question at all. Or how many questions you are asking, if you do ask. Also, just notice, are you giving people right compliments or not? Just pay attention to— just observe yourself, just observe your communication, observe the way you deal with people. Also notice how you're looking at the stranger and how you're looking at the people around you. I'm talking about the right mindset. Remember, the first thing what we learned in this session is the way you look at people, it will actually change your communication with others. The frame of mind you don't need to carry on like, you know, everyone is so boring, everyone is just, you know, just selfish, and this will not help you to connect with others. And when you have the mindset of I'm going to meet a really interesting person today That will change the way you look at people. That will change the way you talk to others. So notice how you are carrying the frame of mind, okay? After 2 or 3 days, just meet strangers and meet others with a different mindset of, I'm going to meet a really interesting person today, and see how you're communicating how you're connecting with that person. And notice if you like to, you know, have a conversation, if you like to hang around with that person or not. It will change the whole game of your social interaction. Then after, you need to just learn what sort of question you should ask so that people feel comfortable answering to. And always ask open-ended question. People love to give answer to Okay, always make them curious when you are giving them introduction. Don't just blast off the, you know, questions over others. Ask them few questions and let them ask you too, because they also want to have a conversation with you. They also want to engage you in your conversation. Don't be the person like an interviewer. Then give compliments to others. Okay, notice something that's been different than before. Now remember, when you give compliments to people, don't give compliments to the same old things that they are having or the same old behavior they are doing. Always give compliments to something different than before. They will recognize it as a genuine compliment. So that's the exercise for this session. Okay, hope you enjoyed this session and hope you do the exercises as I mentioned in this session. And your questions are welcome. Enjoy talking to people and enjoy getting liked by people.