Why don’t we know ourselves well and how to know ourselves better?

Hi, this is Mayur Bardolia and you are listening to Love Your Business Podcast. This podcast isn't about magical tactics on running the business that makes you bored and tired. Instead, it's about how to love your business so that you can enjoy doing it and enjoy more time for yourself. George Foreman was an American professional boxer. He was an unbeatable boxing champion from 1969 to 1974. And Foreman turned professional in— when he had a total of 13 fights that year. Winning all of them and 11 by knockout. But in 1974, there was a great match between George Foreman against a famous boxer Muhammad Ali, and this iconic match was called Rumble in the Jungle. Now Foreman was more favorite than Muhammad Ali, but Ali surprised everyone and knocked out Foreman in the 8th round, and it was his first ever defeat in boxing ring. He was unable to secure another title opportunity, and Foreman retired after loss To Jimmy Young in 1977, it was George Foreman's first ever defeat in the boxing ring. And three years later, not being able to get a rematch with Ali, Foreman retired. But that was not the end. 10 years later, he announced a comeback, and in 1994, at the age 45, he won the heavyweight championship titles by knocking out 26-year-old Michael Moorer. The reason for his comeback was not because he wanted to do boxing again, but because he lost all of the money he made from his boxing career in the real estate business. He was almost going to be homeless. He could not utilize his skill of one profession to another profession. And there are many examples of people who were superstars, celebrities, or famous sports person who could not become successful In other professions, and we often fail to judge ourselves. We fail to understand ourselves. We believe that we are doing great in one thing. We can do great thing in another thing too. We often fail to know what we know. And what we don't know. And we don't know our strengths and weaknesses. We fail often because we don't know ourselves well. Our plans fail. We set goals and we fail to stay focused. We want to change the habit, but we can't. We follow the process of someone who is already successful, but it doesn't work for us. How many times have you tried to build a habit but failed? And why is it that a process will work successfully for someone else but not for you? You can change and improve your situation only if you know yourselves well enough. You will not face the same problems again and again if you know your patterns. A famous quantum physicist Richard Feynman says, "The first principle is you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool." When we know ourselves, we can take better decisions without being in conflict with ourselves. We can identify our patterns clearly, and we can change them happily. In this podcast episode, we're going to discuss three things: number one, why we can't know ourselves; number two, what is the process to know ourselves; and number three, a magic shortcut to know yourself. And even others quickly. Let's dive in. We are far too overconfident and have an illusion of what we know. It was found by 2 psychologists, Leonid Rosenblit and Frank Keil, and they found while they were doing a research experiment at Yale University. If you ask 100 people on the street if they understand how a refrigerator works, most would respond yes, they do. Ask them some more questions such as how a mobile phone works, a fluorescent light works, or even how a flush toilet operates. They would say yes, they do. But ask them to then produce a detailed step-by-step explanation of how exactly a refrigerator works or a flush toilet works, and you would likely hear silence or stammering. And this powerful but inaccurate feeling of knowing is what Leonid Rosenblit and Frank Keil in 2002 called The Illusion of Explanatory Depth. And they found that most people feel they understand the world with far greater detail, coherence, and depth than they really do. Most people think they know themselves well, but they have poor self-knowledge and they don't fix their self-discovery process. The average understanding of everything people know about themselves is only 2 out of 7. The illusion breaks only when you dig deep introspectively or when you fail at a task. When you have a high self-concept and self-clarity, you will see things around you more accurately. So, what is the process to know ourselves? Let's find out in the second part, shall we? What happens when you shake the glass of water with dust particle in it? If a glass of water is clouded with dust particles, there is nothing you can do to make the water clear. But if you allow the dust to settle, it will clear on its own because clarity is the water's natural state. And after some time, the clear water emerges. And our mind works in the same way. To know ourselves better, we have to shut down all other distractions and dive into ourselves. Well, you would say, hey, yes, I heard that. Tell me how to do it. And it's difficult to know when we sit still and stay calm. Our mind goes on the ride of thoughts. But here's a fact: clarity is your mind's natural state. That is one of the most efficient ways to be clear. Look deep into yourself and know yourself. And the way is, is called journaling. All the greatest personalities from history had journals, such as Leonardo da Vinci, Mark Twain, Socrates, Napoleon, and so on. Journaling helps you clarify your thoughts and feelings and get to know yourself better. Journaling allows you to focus on what's inside you and helps you reflect on your experiences. So get a notebook and start journaling the key elements of self-knowledge. Write down your values and interests, what you believe in, what will never change for you, what you like to do, and what you don't like to do. Note down the specific feeling in any specific moment or experience. What are you afraid of? What are you really good at, and what are you not really good at, but you wish you improve? Write down your life goals and mission. What do you want to accomplish? Keep track of your habits. At the end of the day, read what you wrote in your journal. Find out what have you achieved and what have you not achieved. When you write, your mind becomes clear and you will know things that you never knew about yourself. Keep writing every day. Make it a habit. I know it's a lot of work, but it's, it's the work that's worth doing. The treasure or secret that you're looking for is right inside your mind. Let it out by journaling. It's time-consuming, but you should do it. There's also a way to know yourself and even others better and very quickly. So let's talk about that magic shortcut in the next part, shall we? Can you explain any art? Let's say you have to explain the music that you like. Can you do it? Can you explain dance moves theoretically? Can you logically explain the painting? Not everything we are capable of knowing and doing. Is accessible to or expressible in language. This means that some of our personal knowledge is off-limits even to our own inner thoughts. And perhaps this is why humans are so often failing to know ourselves, because there is more going on in our minds than we can ever consciously know. So how can we get those things out of our minds that we cannot describe in language? A famous marketing consultant called Roy H. Williams gives us a clue, and he's a really brilliant marketing consultant. You should read some of his books. He shared the words of Maggie Tufu from from the page number 398 from the book called The Engines of God. And Maggie Tufu says, show me what a person admires and I will tell you everything about them that matters. And Roy Williams shares a list of things if you want to know yourself better. And without thinking too much quickly, make a list of these things: 2 of your favorite visual artists, 3 of your favorite poems, 4 of your favorite stories, 5 favorite movies, and 6 favorite songs. When you made this list, Find out what's common among them. Your creative brain will tell you who you are. Try out, and that takes us to the end. Now we are not going to finish this podcast as we always finish. You remember in the first part of this podcast, we talk about the famous boxer. George Foreman, who became almost homeless after becoming world champion. So what happened to him afterwards? It ended up well. He made a comeback, and at the age of 45, he won the fight against Michael Moorer, who was only 27 years old, and he became The oldest heavyweight boxing champion. We discussed this in the early part, but the story did not finish here. He was listening to a speech by Mary Kay Ash, who is the founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics, and Mary Kay said. My father told me when I was young that if you learn to sell, you will never be hungry. And this message hit George Foreman like a strong punch. He started seeing himself as a salesperson. He developed the personality of being the greatest salesman in the world. He was approached by a kitchen equipment company called Salton, and they wanted him to sell their portable cooking grill. But the company could not afford him to pay, so they agreed to share 40% of the profit with him. And surprisingly, he made more than he earned in his boxing career. He sold nearly 100 million units of the cooking grill And made over $200 million from this deal. And things changed when he knew himself well. It can happen at any time. So what can you do after listening to this podcast? Well, when you know yourself better, you can deal with inner conflict better and make better decisions. And you know yourself deeply Start writing a journal. Write down your feelings, thoughts, goals, likes and dislikes. You will see your reflection in the journal. It's very powerful. Also, find out what you admire and who do you admire. Find out what's common among them, and this will show you Who you really are at a deeper level. So that takes us to the end of the podcast. Let's find out what's happening in our world. As we discussed a few moments ago about the founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics called Mary Kay Ash, and Mary Kay Ash said, "My father told me when I was young." That if you learn to sell, you will never be hungry. And that's pretty much true, not only to George Foreman but also for all of us. It's challenging to start and run a business if you struggle to sell. It's not about the cool logo or design that can help you to sell. It's about how you share your stories, Sales is an art, but you need to systemize it to do it well. In October 2021, the sales pitch course is going to be live. It will be an online course, and if you want to know how to design your sales presentation, you should join this course and you will be able to talk to your customers and help them in buying from you. Whether you are an introvert or extrovert, this course is right for you because you don't need to be a pushy, sleazy salesperson, and you don't have to be extraordinarily energetic to sell. All you need to do is to be enthusiastic to sell with authenticity using the right system. And by the end of the course, you will be able to sell way better than what you are doing right now, and that too within just a week. The details will be shared soon, and if you are interested, send an email to mayur@mayurbardolia.com and you will be added to the waiting list. And this is the skill that will help you living life with happiness and prosperity. And that takes us to the end. Thank you for listening. It's Mayur Bardolia. Bye for now. Still listening? You're listening to the Love Your Business podcast. And if you like what you heard in this podcast, you should share this with your friend. Ask your friend to subscribe to the Love Your Business Podcast. Share the link mayurbardolia.com/subscribe. They will like what you share. Please leave a review of Love Your Business Podcast. Send your question, or if you want to talk to me, Just send me an email at mayur@mayurbardolia.com. I will answer. Yes, I read and reply to every single email. It's Mayur Bardolia. Thank you for listening. Bye for now.