Mel Abraham argues that extreme frugality can damage your psychology, creating a scarcity mindset even when you have money. He describes a client named Sandra with a solid net worth who feels physical discomfort spending, trapped by fear rather than actual lack. Joy should come from ongoing cash flow, not deprivation.
Frugality can break you. Most people can't tell the difference. They think that they're being disciplined, but what they're actually doing is developing a habit of lack, scarcity thinking. I literally had a client, Sandra, who came to me with a solid net worth, but here's what she told me. I haven't taken a vacation in 7 years. Every time I think about spending money, I feel physically sick. Sandra didn't have a money problem. She had a money symptom: fear. Frugality taken too far is just scarcity wearing a badge of honor. You're building a neural pathway of deprivation. You don't just magically flip the switch and become someone who knows how to enjoy life. You conditioned yourself into scarcity. Joy is not a lump sum. It's cash flow.
