110: When To (and not to) Trust Your Intuition

Foreign. Hey, everybody, and welcome back to Grief and Guts. I am your host, Melissa Dugalecki, and this episode is. It's a good one. It is dropping right around Layden's birthday. So for those of you who don't know, this podcast was inspired by, and continues to be inspired by my daughter Leiden, who passed away at the age of four months in 2014. So as her birthday would be February 20, I'm just pouring lots of extra love into this. And what I'm talking about today is one of the most potent lessons I have learned from Leyden in so many ways, and I really hope it serves you. So thank you all for being here. We are diving into intuition and can you trust it? And how do you know when to. Now, this is something that is super interesting for me, is very relevant right now. I'm supporting a lot of clients with it. And the truth is, in order to even access our intuition, the first thing we get to do is really do our work in the mind, right? Clearing the stories that we're assigning to things, the narratives, the things that don't serve. So we want. We do want to make sure we're doing the work in the mind and that we've done that. And then we really want to think about our body and our belly, right? How are we moving our bodies and taking care of our environment and taking care of our gut health and our health in a way that's very nourishing, because nourishing is the word that comes to mind. I'm not talking calories or fat. I'm not talking about forcing exercises. I'm not talking about toxic positivity in the mindset. I'm not talking about any of those kind of dark sides of quote, unquote, health. What I'm talking about is how are we cultivating an environment within that is really like sacred, and sacred in the way in which we consume thought, food, movement, drink. When we do this, our intuition is more accessible. It is really hard to access our higher self, that higher vibration, that higher knowing, our truth from our birthright without a clean environment. So first thing we want to do to be able to even access it is make sure we have a clean environment. Now, a lot of ways in which you can do that. One of my first, you know, programs that I offered out called, called move, really focused on mindset, holistic health movement, and developing healthy relationships and alignment with that, right? So it is from there in which, you know, if you were in that program or familiar with it, from there, the next place you're going to want to go is your intuition right now what's funny is in that particular program, I remember working with a former client of mine who is super tapped into her intuition now. But at the time she was so trapped in her mind, she was so trapped in her ego. And we had set a goal of her to do a yoga class. She was very much in the go, the doing the, doing the go, go, go, go, go. And she knew my languaging enough. It was so perfect. I got on a call and on a zoom and she said, you know Melissa, I didn't do the yoga class last week, but it's because I was listening to my intuition and it didn't feel aligned. So instead I did like an intense spin class and I'll, I'll keep her unnamed, but I was like, excuse me, let's untangle that. That's not your intuition, right? That was your mind and your ego. What was your come from? And we untangled it and we peeled back the layers and ultimately she had this deep seated fear that if she did less, whether it was at work, whether it was in a relationship, whether it was in her exercise, that her results were going to suffer. So her ego and her mind convinced her that it wasn't in alignment for her to do a yoga class, but rather that was coming from fear. Fear of if I do yoga and not something intense now also yoga can be very intense, but if I do yoga and not something intense, I'm going to gain weight right? Now. Look at how sneaky, look at how sneaky our little minds can be and convincing us that it's our intuition speaking. So I hope that supports you in knowing that we get to really do the work and have coaches and mentors to help us untangle it. I'm going to give you some ways that you can support yourself here in this episode today. Now another, another case that I look at honestly is my daughter Layden. You know, as we're approaching her birthday, she was in the hospital for a relatively minor cardiac condition. Right. I mean, I don't know how we can ever consider a cardiac condition to not be, to be minor, but this is considered a very minor one. She had like a 99% survival rate. But while she was being treated in the hospital for this, she was refusing her food to the point where the hospital put a feeding tube on her and they were adding calories. They were basically, it's called fortifying. They were fortifying her like the breast milk. So I would pump breast milk and then it would be fortified with formula because they wanted to increase the calories. And she was fusing, she was fussy, she would scream. And then they put in the feeding tube, and she would scream or she would vomit. And I look at that, and we were so focused on. And, you know, I have to say we lightly, because I stopped her feeding and I refused to have that tube feeding her anymore. But the programming was so conditioned to look at what it should be, right? It should be that she needs more food, she needs more calories, she needs to grow. That we weren't actually listening to Laden's little higher self telling us, because ultimately what happened was when she had her final heart repair, it went perfectly, but her intestines, which had been sick, which she had been telling us, die. They died during the surgery. And she went into renal failure, organ failure, and ultimately died of an intestinal disease called necrotizing entercolitis. And I look back, and I'm like, wow, it was so much attachment to. You know, I'm getting emotional sharing this, and I. I've known this now for a long time, but it's hard. Like. And this is where I really learned. Like, I trusted my intuition in that. But then I stopped and I said, I don't have a medical degree. You have to trust the doctors. And, man, if I could redo that, I would. I would be getting second, third, fourth, fifth opinions and trusting my intuition, right? So my intuitive work is really inspired by my daughter Laden. And what would have. What could have happened if I trusted my intuition? What could have happened if I knew how to listen to Layden's intuition and what she was telling us? Woof. So, yeah, this one runs deep. Now, in addition to having a coach you can actually work with, like an intuitive reader or an intuitive coach, I've been working with mine since 2020. She's fantastic. And I remember it was interesting when I first started working with her. I'm like, okay, well, what do we do? Do we set up a standing weekly meeting? She was like, no, you get to learn to trust your intuition and reach out to me when you feel the call. And I remember, I'd always be. I'd hear people say, like, oh, I heard the call, or I feel the poll, or I feel the call. And I'd be like, what does that mean? How. Like, don't we. We need to schedule things, People, what are you doing? But through working with her, that was one step. Where am I looking to force or schedule? And where can I listen to when there's something in me Telling me that this is what I need right now. Your intuition is connected to your sacral chakra energy. So if you want to strengthen your intuition, I highly recommend working with your sacral chakra energy, which is going to be meditations. It's going to be working with certain crystals. It's going to be hip, open nerves, right? We store a lot in our hips. It's going to be dance, movement, yoga, right? Literally moving. I'm doing it right now as I'm recording this, like literally moving your hips and that sacral chakra energy, because you want to be again, you don't want it to be stagnant, right? To be able to access that. We want it swirling, we want it churning, and we want to keep it within. Something else that you can really do to strengthen your intuition is quiet the noise around you, quiet the stimulation, quiet your environment. Maybe it's sitting in silence, maybe it's reducing the amount of conversations you have a day or being really discerning with what you consume energetically. Meaning podcasts, books, conversations, are these things just cluttering and making it really noisy so that you can't hear your higher truth. So you notice how we're like doing a lot of cleaning, clearing, decluttering, and that's a big part because otherwise we can't even access our intuition. Now here's one of the biggest blocks in doing intuitive work is we our minds. Like I was sharing about that former client, right, Whose mind convinced her that it wasn't in alignment. She even used like woo woo intuitive type terminology and I laughed at her. And this was years ago and I still laugh thinking about it. So good. But we are energetically wired at such a subconscious level. Now think about whether or not you or someone you know has found themselves in relationship patterns over and over and over. Maybe somebody emotionally unavailable or maybe a codependency, or maybe a relationship where they feel like they have to take care of the person or that person has to take care of them, right? And they kind of lose themselves in it and they, they don't like that cycle, it doesn't serve them well and they break free of it and then they're back in it. So what is happening is energetically, we're like little magnets. We're all like little energetic magnets. And so you or the person that you're thinking of is literally being pulled, pulled to an energetic state, an energetic way of relating. And even if they don't like it, they are pulled to it until they really do the deep healing work. So this is when that full body fuck. Yes. Can actually be misleading because it could feel really good to be pulled to that. Like, oh, yes, I feel this in my body. I have butterflies. This feels so good. But we're actually being pulled to the very thing that's holding us back, back. Let that one sink in. Now, on the other hand, I hear all the time, oh, this doesn't feel good in my body. Or this doesn't feel right. This doesn't feel aligned. But many times what that is is the fear, right? Take my client, for example. What was going on? She was so afraid that if she stopped doing things the way she's always done, she wasn't going to have results. But the truth was, she was looking for new results. She was looking to be more in flow and to feel ease and lightness and to be out of intense energetic stress. And go, go, go, go, go. In the programming of our society, right, I tend to trap that type of person in hi because that was me a long time ago. So we really want to. And here's what I'm going to offer you today is like your step cleaning your environment, right? Food, movement, thought, who's around you, right? Working with your sacral chakra energy, right? Then quieting the noise, like, really looking at like, where are all my energetic attachments? Picture yourself like a little ball of light with like tons of strings coming out of it, attached to different people and things. And whatever it may be, what cords do you need to cut for you to be stronger within your own energetic self? What cords are not serving you? But as you begin to do this work, I highly encourage you to have a coach or a mentor, right? Highly, highly encourage you because this is a skill and your mind is going to create a lot of stories that can block you from accessing this skill, okay? But for now, just insert the practice of a pause. When you feel that full body fuck yes, or that full body fuck no, or those butterflies or the resistance, right? When you feel that trigger or resistance, I want you to pause. I want you to not react, not choose. I want you to sit with it, journal. What's coming up for me? What pattern is this? How is this serving me? What does my higher self want? Is this inner child wound, right? A lot of times people talk about getting connected to their inner child. But yes, we get to nurture our inner child and care for his or her wounds, right? And scars and make sure his or her needs are heard. But sometimes we use that as a way to avoidance, right? Like, I just want to play or I just want to sleep or I just want to eat whatever I want. My inner child just wants ice cream for every meal. Well, we got to look at like how is that serving us? Is that in our highest self or is that in our wound? And does our inner child need to be educated on consumption? And is our inner child in a wound of attaching being able to eat ice cream for dinner as being worthy, loved, validated, connected? Because that's how they grew up. So does the inner child actually just need to feel loved or does the inner child need that ice cream? So you're going to insert pause, you're going to pause and you're going to really explore, you're going to journal, you're going to reflect and you're going to put in at least a 24 hour decision. And I encourage you to call for coaching during that time if you can. To really look at where is this my ego? Where is this my fear? Where is this my limiting beliefs? Where is this programming? Where is this should? Where is it? Well, if I change then what does it look like? Because when we attach and listen to our intuition, the truth is our intuition can provide things for us better than we can see in this human experience. Because our intuition is so zoomed out and so wise and sees big picture like 30,000 foot zoom out and we can only see what's right in front of us in the here and now. So when we get out of our mind in the here and now and we zoom out into the bigger picture, there are things we can't even see waiting for us. Now also know that as you build this muscle it's going to be uncomfortable. You're going to take, you know, you're going to have times where you might feel physical pain. And this is where I highly recommend nervous system regulation work to teach you that you are safe in the discomforts. That's a whole other episode. So I hope this serves you. We could do an entire like masterclass miniseries on this and maybe we get to do that, I don't know. But for now I just really want to introduce you to untangling mind versus intuition, Ego versus higher self. The ways that we block it and what are we doing? First, to clean and clear our environment so we can access it. And second, to really begin to quiet the voice of the mind and the ego and give a megaphone to that intuitive higher self knowing int. It's going to take time. We might face plant, it's going to be uncomfortable. But everything is available to us. In our higher self, and there is so much more available to you than you can possibly see in this given moment. So trust in what you can't see. Trust in the unknown, and do so by building massive, unwavering trust with yourself and your intuition because you are so worth worth it. Thank you all so much for being here at Grief and Guts as Layden's mom. Being able to spread the stories, the strategies, the lessons I have learned through Layden and from Layden is the thing that means the most to me in this world and allowing my daughter's short life to have long and lasting impact by shining her light. Truly, nothing means more if you align with and believe in the work that we're doing here in these messages. The best way to give back and to spread this out into the world is to rate and review on Spotify and on itunes. Thank you for taking just a moment to do that. Feel free to shoot me a message. Let me know what you want to hear more of, what you want to see more of. I am here to serve. I'm grateful to do so, and I'm cheering you on in your journeys. Always.