111: From Playboy & Partying to Intuitively Thriving w/ Andrea Lowell

Foreign.

Welcome to Grief and Guts. I'm your host, Melissa Dugulecki. It is my honor and privilege to serve you by sharing stories, tools, interviews, and strategies that will help you transition from what do I do now? How do I get through this? Those feelings of overwhelm and uncertainty to truly standing in your power. It is from my grief journey in losing my daughter laden in 2014 that I learned, practiced, was exposed to all these tools, but they are not grief specific. In fact, they apply universally to all of our unique situations. You've already done the hard part by showing up, by opening up to something new. So without any further ado, let's get to the good stuff that's going to help you in your journey.

Let's dive in. All right, everybody. Welcome back to Grief and Guts, the podcast. I'm your host, Melissa Dugalecki, and I am so excited for today's guest, Andrea Lowell. She has an amazing story. We're going to be jamming on things that, you know, aren't going to be new topics, but it'll be new perspective. And we're going to be going deeper into places we haven't gone, you know, around abundance, around enlightenment, around, you know, even what we prioritize and what we're aware of in our society. Because as Andrea joins me, it's Super Bowl Sunday. The super bowl is happening right now. And Andrea and was like, are you okay recording in the middle of the Super Bowl? Because I didn't even realize. So without any further ado, please join me in welcoming Andrea Lowell to the show.

I am so excited to be here. I'm so happy to be here. You know, I. I think your journey is so inspirational, and I love the fact that you just speak so open and honest about it. And for you to have me on your show and see that the show has expanded and evolved and is going to different directions, but all in the same, you know, umbrella of amazingness. It's just so. I feel so honored. So let's. Let's rock and roll, sister.

Let's do it. So, first of all, can we just acknowledge the fact that neither of us in the super bowl is happening?

You know, I thought I heard someone mention it in passing a few days ago, but I don't even know who's playing. I don't care who's playing. And it's funny because I used to really care about this stuff, not because I was a football fan, but because I wanted to fit in whatever everyone else was talking about, I had to be a part of it. It was just like the most obnoxious type of people pleasing ever. Where I wanted to know what was going on in all aspects of pop culture. So I could kind of be a chameleon with any group.

I think it's so powerful you bring that up. Like, I was a big football fan. Like my background was in athletics and like my family laughs at me because I have no idea anymore, like what's happening.

Uh huh.

And I think it, it was for me giving myself the permission to be like different things matter to me right now. And like I'll always say, I mean, I'm from Boston, so Tom Brady was like my, my hero, you know, my person. But I'd always say like Tom Brady, like when I started to transition into entrepreneurship and self development, I'm like, Tom Brady's not like spending money and time watching me perform in my career. Right, like, right in my career and not spend my time watching other people perform in theirs. And that was like a, like a life changing moment.

Yeah, it's like when your values shift. If we don't align with those values as we evolve as people, you know we're gonna be miserable. So if you were to people please your family, for example, and you don't really kind of care anymore, you've grown past it. But like, okay, we'll go as tradition. I'm gonna sit there, I'll eat the wings, whatever, you know, it could create either some resentment, just unhappiness. So it's really important that we acknowledge that our values do change and shift as we grow and evolve on our spiritual paths and really align with those values. A lot of times people experience despair, hopelessness, even when they are betraying their values. They might value integrity and honesty and spiritual enlightenment, but they're putting their value, much like I used to do, in the coolest handbag or I have to have a great car because that's what society tells me. And why am I miserable? Oh, because I'm ignoring my values and I'm valuing what society values. So it's really important that we listen to that inner voice and really align with the truth of our soul and our essence and what we really care about.

This is about the fourth time I've gotten goosebumps. So we are, we are sourcing.

Yes.

But it's really interesting because the last episode that I dropped, which I just recorded, was around untangling our intuition from our ego. And we're like, oh, my intuition is saying to do. It's like my intuition is saying to go watch this Game or my intuition is saying to do that, and it's not our highest self. We're doing it for validation or acceptance. And you said something that really struck that I'd love for you to expand on in any way that feels appropriate for you, but talked about betraying our values. And I don't think that anybody consciously says, let me betray my values.

Right.

So how do you help somebody or how would you support somebody in understanding and identifying when they're betraying their values? Like, what does that look like?

Well, first I would. Let's say I'm going to take a client through this journey, and they don't even know what their values are. Like, they're kind of like who I used to be. Well, no, like, I think I value, like, handbags and stuff. Like, they make me happy for 10 minutes and I need another one next week. The first thing we have to look at with any of our actions, but the easiest one to look at is where we're putting our financial currency. Where is that money flow going? That shows you pretty off the bat where your values are. You say, who is this for? Who am I taking this action for? Much. Like you said, is this for me? Is this for my highest. Is this for my joy? Is this for my health? What is this for? Who is this for? If I start making a list with pen and paper and I see, well, actually, I bought that because so and so mentioned at a party two weeks ago that she thought that color was cute, or that commercial said that that brand was good, or that celebrity was wearing that, or I got this car because my husband really liked it, but I wanted a Corvette. Like, it's like, who is this for? Once we start realizing that we're not making choices for us and our highest joy, then we start to say, okay, maybe my value system's off. Maybe I don't know what my values are. So we have to then go within, like you mentioned, the intuition, the inner voice, the truth, and really think about it. What do I value? And a lot of times people will say, well, I value health. Okay, well, if you value health, are you taking steps in alignment with that? Are you waking up and each day having water upon rising? Are you moving your body a few times a week? You know, are we doing. And then it gets deeper. Am I lifting weights? Because, you know, my boyfriend, he lifts weights. Or are you doing what brings you joy? Maybe you lift weights because you like the results and he likes it too. Cool. Both of you can be in alignment, but are you doing what brings you joy. And someone might say, well, exercise doesn't bring me joy. Well, does the results bring you joy? Right. So are the foods you're eating in alignment with that value of health? A lot of times people will say a value, and it's not really something they value. They just think it might sound good is what I've realized, too. I'm like, do you really value that? You know, and it's okay. It's like we don't have to value all the same things, you know, like some people value, like, taking care of their skin. Like, it's so important to them. They do this. Like, I don't really. Like, yes, I have makeup on right now, but, like, it's really kind of low on my. My totem pole. Right. So we look at what we value. For me, it's honesty, right. First and foremost, am I being honest with myself? Am I being honest in a loving way with those around me? And am I. Am I having people in my life who are honest? If I'm not doing those things circled around what I value, I'm probably going to be not happy. There's going to be some sort of discontentment. So we really look at who our actions are for, who our purchases are for, who our reactions and our spoken word and even the way we get dressed in our hair. Who's this for? Right. And then we. We got to identify our values, and then we got to look if our actions line up with those. And as soon as we get those things in parallel, in tandem, in unison, in alignment, the whole world opens up. And it's like inner peace is so attainable.

Oh, so true. It's such like a feeling of lightness and ease.

Yeah.

And something that you just spoke into that I just want to honor and just echo is for me, I think that honesty is the most sacred form of intimacy.

Yes, Right.

Like, it's a form of intimacy because we are literally completely naked. No masks. When we can be in our truth. And first we have to do that with ourselves.

Yes, Right.

Because you cannot be honest with somebody else if you're not being honest with yourself, which is, I know, such a big part of your work and self mastery and. And everything, so.

Oh, yes. And when we are dishonest with ourselves, as. As I was for so many years, there's no way I can be honest with anyone else, just as you said. And the energy that we must put forward to create this facade, this veneer of dishonesty to protect us, you know, it's exhausting. And finally, you Just get sick and tired of being sick and tired. And you say, you know, I gotta admit I'm lying to myself.

Feel that so deeply. And the hard part is, is it's that journey and where the coaching and the support comes in. Because nobody is. When we are that masked and that committed to what it looks like or what it should be or what our mind is saying, this is the next box to check.

Right.

We can't see how we're lying to ourselves. We'll have signs. Maybe we get sick or we're tired, or we're impatient or easily triggered, or we'll feel some resistance. Like, I don't want to be doing this, but I'm still doing it, you know? But I think that's why having the coaching and the mentorship is so powerful, which I know you believe in, so.

Oh, absolutely. And it's funny, it's like we know when we're lying. Like, okay, I'm exaggerating or I'm lying, but when we're in denial, when we are in denial or delusion, as I was for years, you don't know you are. It's crazy. Like, you know, things aren't really adding up, but if you were to look at why they're not adding up, you'd have to radically change your life. So you just keep ignoring it. It's like this subconscious low key self preservation coping mechanism, survival skill, and finally it just stops working because your soul's like, excuse me, we can't do this anymore. Like, I'm done. I came here to party, you know, I came here to, to evolve. I came here to have fun in this realm we call Earth. And you're over here in some denial bubble, lady. We can't do anything in this.

Oh, good. I love that. The difference between dishonesty and denial.

Right?

Right.

Yeah.

Because that's such like a something to discern and untangle. Like, so.

Good. Yeah.

So normally I would have introduced you or had you introduced yourself sooner, but like, we just went right in. But let's let the listene know, you know, you have an incredibly interesting story. You left and I really related to this. I left like what was considered like a great job, a great field, a great industry, something I worked my ass off to get the job and the role that I had for the unknown and higher calling and purpose and vision and mission. And I was like, everyone in my life is like, what the fuck are you doing? Right. So for you, you were a TV and radio host for the Playboy morning show. Right. And you Quit that to pursue your higher calling. So let the listener know a little bit about, you know, where you were at and, and where you've come to.

Absolutely. So yeah, currently I'm a self mastery mentor. I take people on this, you know, journey from delusion and denial to absolute self actualization and bliss and like becoming a miracle magnet. And the way I can do that and teach that is because that is not where I started. So I used to just be in this cave of despair, misery and hopelessness. Even though I had the number two rated morning show on Sirius XM under Howard Stern. I started working for Playboy when I was 19. I thought it was gonna be a one off thing, but it turned into a career. The money, to be honest with you, was just too good at that level of my consciousness to say no to it. And it became my full time job. I did all the red carpet interviews for them, I did several TV shows for them. And I was the morning show host, which was three hours of nonstop talk, no commercials, five days a week. And when you're living in that world, and don't get me wrong, there's many things that I love about the Playboy world, you know, and all that, the relationships I gained, the self awareness that I gained, many beautiful aspects to it, the travel, whatever you really think that you are that character that you're playing and the lines get blurred. Part of my Persona on air was America's number one party girl. And that included, you know, drinking alcoholically, promiscuity, just all the things that I guess the word debauchery could define. And then because I was playing this role for three hours a day when I was, you know, still developing who I was as a, as an adult when I got home, I was still playing that part. And I, because I was naive and I was not self mastered, I didn't even know what I valued, what my, my truth was, what my purpose was. Things like that didn't matter to me. I just kept going along with it. I thought, this is my public image. What if I see someone out at a bar or something, I have to be, you know, Andrea Lowell from the radio or the TV show or the reality show. And I just started acting that way and that became who I was. And I knew in my innermost self that that wasn't really who I was. But because I didn't know who I was, I just piggybacked onto that and it just got more and more over the top, you know, like I might flash my boobs, for example, during an interview. To a celebrity who we like Gene Simmons from Kiss or someone who would, like, really get a kick out of it then. And that would happen very intermittently. But then I'm doing it at bars for fans, and I'm like, wait, okay, well, whatever. Like, people seem to like this. The fans seem to like this. So I started just behaving in ways that my production team liked, that the fans liked, that the listeners liked, and my entire personality had nothing to do with what I liked. And I just got so lost in that because I literally. I was with Playboy for 15 years. I got lost, girlfriend. And we briefly touched on how, you know, you had this stuff. I had this stuff. I had the car, I had the house. I had a really cool job, you know, But I was absolutely miserable. And I was so secretly jealous, Melissa, of, like, all of my girlfriends from high school and college who just had, like, these awesome regular lives, you know, they're over here jealous of me because I'm partying with celebrities and I have all these wild stories and, oh, I'm getting flown to London, whatever. They're like, oh, your life is so cool. I'm like, oh, my gosh, she seems so happy over there. Like, how come she can do New Year's Eve, for example, and have, like, a couple glasses of champagne, and I'm over here having, like, a bottle, right? So I realized eventually, like, okay, I'm drinking away my ability to think. I didn't want to think about what was really happening, so I just drank over it. I didn't want to discuss what was happening, so I lied over it. Oh, no, I'm great. I'm fine. I'm amazing. I'm so amazing. Everything's wonderful. And we talked about that honesty being that intimacy and that vulnerability. My husband did not know that I was suffering.

Wow.

He had no idea. He mentioned to me once that I might have a drinking problem, but I actually thought he was joking because that's the denial I was in now. What are you talking about? It's part of my job. I drink when I go out. And, you know, but if that were the case, why am I drinking when I'm doing my makeup? Why am I drinking when I'm going out? Why am I drinking when I'm going shopping if it's part of my job when I just be drinking at work? Like, I couldn't even see the fallacy of my own excuses. And, you know, I guess I became a pretty good fibber because my husband, even though he was concerned, he was like, okay, well, you know, I know Andrea's an honest person. At least when I met her, she was. So she wouldn't be lying to me, right? I was so hopeless, Melissa. I just couldn't figure out why I was so miserable. And it was that I was truly insulting my soul. I didn't give her any room to breathe. I didn't allow her to show herself in any way, shape or form. I drenched her in costuming and really weird behaviors, you know? And finally, I just got to a point where I couldn't do it anymore. And I had a moment of clarity. In Japanese, there's a word for it. It's called satorai. It just means instant awakening. A lot of people ask me, oh, were you on mushrooms? Were you smoking dmt? Were you doing ayahuasca? No, I was not. I was literally. There's a few different times these moments of clarity happened. One of them was when I was in my living room one evening chain smoking cigarettes as I would do with the door closed. And, I mean, just really bizarre behavior. Drinking red wine and just thinking, I can't keep living like this. Like, something's gotta change. What is? Like, I don't wanna live like this. How come night after night, I'm just drinking myself to sleep and avoiding tough conversations? And then another one of these moments of clarity happened when I was in the makeup chair at work at Playboy TV before we went live on air. And I was looking at myself in the mirror and I just saw, like, who is that? Like, who is this woman I had? And nothing wrong with fake hair and all that stuff, because I loved it. But, like, I had so much fake hair, hair extensions, fake eyelashes, you know, super overdrawn lips, you know, Kim Kardashian contouring on my face. Like, I just was. I just was not me. Anyone could have looked like that with that hair and makeup, you know, like, you know how those filters on Instagram now where everyone kind of just looks the same? That's why I was looking. And I'm like, I can't do this anymore. I am a fraud. I am a phony. And it hit me like a dump truck barreled into my chest. And the message that came with that dump truck into my heart was, you're lying to yourself. And I was like, whoa. And I just started crying. And at this part of my life, I was not a crier. I wouldn't show emotions. I actually wore it as a badge of honor. I was super in my masculine. You know, like, I don't cry. Crying for wimps. And da, da, da. And my makeup girl knew at the time, like, oh, God, something's really wrong. And it was so hilarious. Bless her heart. To this day, she goes, is it your hair? Like, she just wanted to make it right. I'm like, oh, my God, it's not my hair. I go, no, I'm having an exercise existential crisis right now.

I'm like.

And she's like, honey, you're about to go on in 15 minutes. She's trying to, like, fix my dripping mascara now. And I did the show, and in pure Andrea fashion, I just faked it and pretended like everything was great. And then I had a talk with the staff, and I just said, I don't want to do this. I cannot do this. It's not me. I'm moving past it, and the rest is history. You know, I haven't looked back. I haven't. There's, like, I'll still, like, if they want to call me to do, like, a voiceover for something. Sure. But, like, that part of my life is gone, and it's terrifying. When I had the conversation with my husband, it was like, well, what are we going to do about money? And I said, you know what? I'm going to put this spiritual knowledge I was dabbling in, which helped me have that moment of clarity into action. And I think I'm going to try to manifest. And it took a couple months, but I started to manifest other opportunities, and I started working in health and wellness. And that contrast of that misery of being a fraud and that joy of helping someone else step into their highest expression was so tangible, like, there was no confusing one for the other. It was like one was forced, one was flow, one was dark, one was light. And I said, you know what? I think I'm figuring out who I am. I love to serve people. So I took that former character trait that didn't serve me of, like, utmost people pleaser. And through unconditional love and radical self awareness, I transmuted it into service to others. And that was, like, the first really, like, major step I took on the self mastery scale. On the Let me get out of this hole. Let me find who I am. Yes.

Wow. What a journey. So beautiful. Like, so profound and just, you know, so relatable. You know, maybe a listener here can't connect to that exact experience, but I'm sure that many, many, many, many, many, if not all can connect to the experience of feeling like I'm wearing a mask.

Totally. It's like our stories are all going to be completely different, but the feelings are often the same. And a lot of times that mask that we wear might be in a relationship that has run its course and we don't want to get out of or staying at a job that really is sucking us dry and doesn't honor us as a person at all, or maintaining familial relationships that we really should have stronger boundaries around. And all we do when we wear a mask is just hide and amplify our ego. Our ego actually is just like this social mask we put on. So am I operating from that divine space within that intuition, that soul, that love that just wants inner peace, or am I operating from the ego that just wants to be either liked or right?

Oh, my goodness. I mean, it is so good. It's so good. And it's, it's truly, truly what separates the people going through the motions and like, living for others and those truly living. And I can say for myself, like my partner and I, who were together for, you know, seven, eight years, things happened that allowed me to justify, like, I need to leave this relationship. However, if I'm being honest, my soul knew so long before, but it didn't. It was my ego was fighting it. Nope, gotta make this work. Nope, this is what it should be. Nope, this, Nope, that. Like, and I knew. Like, I knew, you know, same thing with the previous job I had. Like, I knew. So what would you say to the person who's maybe in the people pleasing in the mask, in the costume, but like, really fucking afraid to break free, Right? Because it's fear. What would you say to that person in finding the courage to connect to their soul and their higher self and their truth?

It's so funny. You just like, took the words out of my mouth. It's fear we have to say. What is the underlying fear that's keeping me here? That's where the rigorous honesty comes in. That's where the self honesty comes in. That's where the honesty and that intimacy with self and others comes in. What is the fear? I know I could maybe guide a client by giving some suggestions. Are we afraid of what our family might think? Are we afraid of the divorce process? Are we afraid of splitting assets? Are we afraid of losing the house? Or do we have children we need to be concerned about? Am I afraid of what my friends will think? Am I afraid of hurting their feelings? Am I afraid of wasting my good years, as they say, on someone? Am I afraid, like, I'm too old now? Am I going to be infertile soon? Like, what are the Underlying fears. Okay, then let's look at those fears and put things into perspective. Is this an actual fear, which to me is false evidence appearing real, or is this a valid concern? Because I can deal with a valid concern. Yeah, I would say all those things I just mentioned are valid concerns. But so much more often than not, everything we're worrying about, everything we're fearing, it always works out okay. But I'm not going to know if I stay stuck. If I don't take action. I'm always going to be miserable. So do I want to maybe surrender to the infinite possibilities and the bliss that the universe Source has in store for me, or do I want to stay stuck because I'm wallowing in fear? So we need to define and really get to know what those fears are that are keeping us trapped. And often all we have to do is shine the flashlight on it. Like, once I look at the fear and I acknowledge that there's fear, it usually dissipates because we all have these underlying low key fears and we know them in our core, but they're not in the forefront of our mind. So once we take them out of the shadows and like put them into our consciousness, it's like, oh, that's why I'm stuck. Okay, well, maybe I should play this tape through to the end. If we broke up, like, you know, could we have an amicable relationship? Could, you know, you know, maybe we own a bunch of furniture together, maybe we're not married, but we've been living together. You know, could we work this out? You know what? If that's your biggest problem, you're doing great. So I always tell people, let's put things into the right size. If your biggest problem is like splitting assets, you're killing it. You're killing the game. There are some people that don't know where dinner is coming from tonight. You know, not to ever diminish anyone's problems, but if your problem is like worrying about a couch, oh my God, you are slaying at life. Yeah, we got to cheerlead people and remind them like, you know, a lot of times things, things feel life or death, breathe, it's okay. It's just a fear taking control. It's just that ego running amok. Let's get back to that, that soul center, that heart center. Let's degrade this fear to what it is, a valid concern and let's just address it. And a lot of times when we're in a situation like a relationship that's not serving us, we're looking at the entire enormity of all the things that need to be done, all those things I mentioned. And the fact is, I don't have to accomplish them all at once. I just have to do what's right in front of me, and then I'll do the next thing right in front of me. And then the next and the next. We look at, like, this enormity of like, this journey we have to take, you know, where it's like, if I just focus on what's right in front of me and just do it and not move on to the next thing I have to do till I'm okay. Like, I've been where I need to be emotionally, spiritually, mindset wise, now I can move on to the next. So I implore people, do what's right in front of you. Don't look at the overwhelm of the entire staircase or mountain that you need to metaphorically climb. Just do what's right in front of you. And if that means moving out, breaking up, setting a boundary, taking a break, separating, do that. Because guess what? It's okay to make a mistake too. A lot of people think, well, it's done, it's done. Maybe you learned, you know what? Maybe I do want to be with this person. You can always take it back, right? Like, everyone thinks everything's written in stone all the time. You know, we know this cosmos, this unified field. It's very malleable. Like, it's okay to make mistakes as we grow. Mistakes are catapults to further growth. You know, you and I wouldn't be where we are if we didn't make tons of mistakes. But we chose to learn. Yeah, tons. It has to be tons. But we chose to learn from them. Right?

No, it's so powerful. And that's where, you know, I hope everyone listening. Like, look at that analysis process. That need to know, I want. That's the ego. Like, how is this going to go? Or will it be incorrect? And, I mean, luckily these are lessons I learned from my daughter Laden. Like, nothing is written in permanent marker. Not even having a living child. Like, that was not permanent.

Like, I thought.

I remember being pregnant, saying, this will be the last Christmas that I'm not Santa.

Right?

And I was assigning a permanent marker. And what I learned from Laden was like, nothing is permanent. So can we be really present for what's true and alive for us right now and not miss it? Because most people miss what is present and alive for them because they think it's either going to Be permanent or they're just, like, afraid or whatever that may be.

Yeah.

And also fear of failure. Like, Layden's life technically could have been considered a failure. Right? Like, the hospital called it a catastrophe. But, like, no, I refuse to look at it like that. Like, it was a gift. And I. Every day, I continue to learn from her. So just, like, really wanted to drive that home. For anyone listening and, like, it's all just feedback. And if we don't take action from a place of fear, you are robbing yourself of the feedback available to you and figuring out exactly what is your highest, like, calling totally.

And oftentimes, when we walk through fear, too, it really starts building courage. Every time I do something scary or I'm uncomfortable with, I get more and more courageous each and every day. And I actually. It emboldens my faith with the divine. Every time I align with my higher power source, I take that action that I'm a little intimidated by or even scared by, and I do it, and it's okay. I realize, wow, okay. I'm actually getting a little fearless here. I actually know that, you know, my higher power source is supporting me. I don't feel so alone. And I love what you said about the permanent marker. One of the things I really drive home to people is we want to live in the black and the white. The gray area is where serenity is. You know, not everything's going to be like a bliss state all the time or misery. Like, there's so much in between on a continuum of color. Like, just live in that space. It's not all or nothing. It's not a permanent marker. So I love that you gave that analogy, girl.

Yeah, yeah. Something that you brought up. I don't know if you've heard of this. One of my mentors recently said this to me, and I had. I known about the concept, but I hadn't heard the actual term, which is sunk cost fallacy.

I've never heard that. What is it?

I think you'll love it because you just spoke into it. So sunk cost fallacy is actually this belief of, like, well, I have to keep going forward with this because I've already invested in it. So it could be something as simple as, like, I bought a concert ticket and my soul doesn't want to go, my body doesn't want to go. I don't want to go, but I already paid for the ticket, so I'm going to go. Or as you were speaking into, well, I've already invested so much time in this relationship, so I need it to work. And it's all about how the sunk cost fallacy guides so many people. But what we don't realize is that the prices we are paying are so much more than any time we invested and any cost of a ticket and any length of a relationship because you learn from that relationship, whatever it may be, right?

Absolutely. I think that those decisions to do think, oh, I paid for this concert ticket, I have to go or I'm in this relationship, I have to see it through their fear based and their lack consciousness, their lower self. They're not higher consciousness, it's lower consciousness. I'm going to miss out, I'm going to miss the money. First of all, again, black and white, the gray says maybe I could sell the resell this ticket. Maybe I could give it as a gift. Like those aren't even options to people who live in lack of people who live in fear. And it's literally like fomo. Where this stems from is a lack of self worth, a lack of self value and knowing that it's okay to change my mind. There are several times where I've made a plan to do something and I'm like, you know what? I actually don't want to do that. I'm not going to go on that trip, you know, I think I'll reschedule it for another month or something. It's just you have to start listening to that inner voice and, and if the inner voice is saying go, go, go, it's going to be so much fun, go. But if it's saying maybe I shouldn't because I'm going to miss out on 50 bucks or dunno. That's not your inner voice, that's your ego messing with you. Our ego wants to keep us small. People have this belief that our ego is some like super like egomaniacal, like confident, cocky asshole. It's like that someone's ego. But most people's egos want to keep them small, want to keep them limited, don't want them to have the expanse and the limitlessness that the soul does. So it keeps us trapped in this ideas that like I have to do it because I said I was going to do it and da da da. And don't get me wrong, I'm big on integrity, right? Integrity is one thing, but I also don't make plans with friends, for example, that I don't intend to keep. So I'm really good at RSVPing no. Or maybe because I'm not going to let people down in that regard. I've learned from that.

Well, and what a beautiful lesson for a recovering people pleaser to learn because that's something I went through too. Like, I would always want to say yes and then I would create some reason why, like, like some drama or something that to be responsible for why I can't go because I knew I didn't really want to go anyways. But I was too in the people pleasing to be able to set a boundary. Whereas now, like, you know, as you've, you know, as you've talked about like being of service. So you talked a lot about channeling. I'm going like full circle here. But you talked about channeling that people pleasing into being of service. And I think when we are in service, we are setting boundaries. Boundaries build trust. We are not telling people what they want to hear, especially if we're coaching or mentoring them. We're telling them like what, what is calling or aligning with their growth. Like, obviously we're not setting their goals for them, but we're pointing out the lack of alignment between your goal and your action. Right. Like, do you really care about health? Do you really care about this? And that requires ego shattering of the people pleasing, Right?

Absolutely. So it's like I still consider myself a people pleaser of sorts, but I'm on the top of my list. No one gets pleased until Andrea's cup is full. I serve and I please others from an overflow, not from lack. I'm less than like I used to. I have to say yes, I have to do that. I'm going to show up for this person. I'm going to prove what a good friend I am. Oh, they're going to like me so much. No, that's lack. That's. That's fear. That's not who I am now. It's abundance or lack, baby. And you know, we're abundance all day long.

Melissa, which was going to be my. I want to like kind of close out with abundance and also let you let people know, like how you work with people and where they can find you and all that. But something before we get into abundance, something else that you said. You just keep getting me like firing and anyone can see me. I'm snapping my fingers. There was. I always use the example and I'm going to butcher his name. But I always say people think the ego is like Gascon. Is that who it is? Like the guy from Beauty of the Beast. Beauty the Beast, Yeah. You know, bells, whatever people.

Gaston. Yes. Okay.

Okay. People envision that to be what ego is, but to your point, whenever they want to drive this home, everyone's like, I don't have ego. I'm not like that. No, no, no, no. Your ego is like the little voice that like tells you to people please or tells you to hide your needs. And I also think something I want to hear your perspective on before we segue into my favorite, which is abundance, is sometimes the ego will be the voice that will say, and I've had this a lot with clients. Well, I didn't feel it in my body or that didn't feel aligned. And they think that they're connecting to their intuition, but actually it's their ego that's holding them back from doing the thing that's going to grow them. Because it's scary, it's unknown, it's leaving the relationship. Right. I don't feel it in my body. Right. Or it's like I had a client who I talked about this last week in a podcast who said she chose not to do yoga as she had intended to, instead, like an intense spin or weightlifting class because it wasn't in her body, it was in alignment, but she was trying to break free of, was really in the masculine, right? And like intensity and go, go, go, go, go. And so I was like, well, that, that quote unquote, full body fuck yes or full body fuck no, wasn't actually your intuition, that was your ego and how often that's confused. So I'm just curious if you've experienced that with you or your clients or thoughts you have.

You know, everyone is different. Not everyone feels everything in their body. For example, like I am a knower. I don't know how I know, I just know. And it's, you know, don't get me wrong, I do get that gut reaction every once in a while when something's a fuck no. But that's not for everyone. I feel like it's still a little bit of that delusion, a little bit of that lack of honesty, lack of intimacy. If I don't know how my signs appear to me, if I don't know how to listen to my intuition, I'm still living from that ego state. I'm still living from that ego dominance like you said. So the first thing I need to do is get ruthlessly self honest with myself and start looking at the way that I do react to people and things that I do like that do light up my soul. How am I reacting when I'm aware that I'm acting from ego? How do I act when I'm in my Masculine when I shouldn't be in this moment. How do I act when I'm like, at ease and at grace? So it's starting to really make the intention to start paying attention to how we do respond start. So for me, I don't have it, like, in my body to go work out. I just. You know what I mean? But I know it's not a no. I'm good at knowing what a no is. My body communicates with me, my soul communicates with me, my emotions communicate with me. So our soul has allies. Our emotions are an ally of the soul and our body is an ally of the soul. And. And they do a really good job of communicating with me. You know, even sometimes source will have me, like, stub my toe as I'm about to go do something stupid just to stop me and slow me down a little bit and think. And it's funny because when I know these things are not typical. Like, okay, why did I stub my toe here? Like, I'm not a clumsy person. Oh, it's a sign. Everything's a sign. What is the message of stopping me? Oh, slow down, get present, maybe analyze what I'm doing, who I'm going back to, who am I doing this for? What's the underlying fear? Is this people pleasing or is this for me? So if it fills my cup, if it, if it leads to my highest expression and my highest joy isn't depleting. I'm not going to go work out if I'm tired. I have so many clients. Oh, I'm not feeling good today. I'm so tired. But I gotta get that workout in. Why? That's your ego. Listen to the intelligence of your body. The ally of the soul. Yes. So that's what that sort of means to me because I don't have enough experience. Like, I can coach others with theirs, but I don't have enough experience getting those like, like full body signals to, you know.

Yeah, yeah. So. And I think you bring up a really important point. It's different for everybody. Yeah, right. Like, everyone is different, but doing the work, having a mentor, like, using tools, like, I love human design, I love Gene Keys, I love, you know, all these different things to get to know yourself. And none of it, I believe, is like truth serum, but it's all like, truth hints. And then you get to put it together and look at the patterns and see what feels right for you. Right. Like, I'm not gonna build my life on any one, you know, app or one, one, like, belief of getting to Knowing yourself. So something that you've spoken into, which is a term that I use all this time and until you, I haven't heard anybody else say it. I'm just like loving this conversation by the way. I'm like, are we, can we do five more of these right?

Yes. Have me back.

You're coming back is radical honesty. And I also know that you've spoken into how the lack of honesty or radical honesty can be a blocker for abundance. And I know so many people who are like, I'm manifesting, I'm doing things, I, I'm abundant, I'm abundant, I'm abundant. But they're not receiving and the results show they're actually not in abundance. So can you speak into like your stance on if you're not living like this life of abundance, you're probably lying.

To yourself oh my God, so many times. Yes. So I'll start by explaining this. I teach a seven module course. I don't teach manifestation until module five. Because we cannot operate from a clean and pure channel for source to come through and bliss us with miracles. If I am clogged up, lying to myself and shooting out low key frequencies, I don't even know I'm shooting out. So if people are new to quantum mechanics or manifestation, pretty much everything is a wiggle and a wave of energy, information and intention and it's floating around and swirling around in the cosmos in a very chaotic state. So if I am embodying different frequencies, I'm going to call in through manifestation at what's at the matched resonance. Now if I'm thinking my way into I'm going to get a Ferrari, I'm giving gratitude for the Ferrari. I'm visualizing myself in the Ferrari. But I haven't addressed my lack of self honesty. I'm shooting out still low key subconscious vibrations and frequencies of lack. I don't deserve this. I'm not worthy programming from my parents, their parents, generational trauma, societal programming, because I haven't looked at it, because I'm not being honest with myself. So the way that we manifest through our frequency alone and guess what? We're always manifesting. But sometimes when we're doing intentional manifestation and we get a wonky result or no result is because we haven't addressed the truth of our being. We haven't gotten honest with ourselves. So I can manifest pretty effortlessly and pretty easily because I keep it pure. I call myself out when I'm acting out of character. I know when I'm being a lower vibration because I've lived in higher frequencies for so long that when I slip down, it's so gross and uncomfortable. Ugh. It's like very apparent, okay, what am I going to climb out of this? But I have the tools. You and I have the spiritual and practical tools to climb out of any vibrational rut. So I want the listeners to know. Manifestation is our birthright. Abundance is our birthright. You can achieve everything that you desire and beyond. Because let me tell you, I have called things into my life that are beyond my wildest dreams. I thought I wanted this, but guess what? The universe gave me something way better. And we can do that by keeping a clean and pure frequency and keeping honest, keeping aware and being perpetual work. And that's really what self mastery is, Melissa. It's. I didn't, you know, just do a course and I'm done. I've achieved it. I'm sitting on top of a mountain meditating. No, it's okay. Now I know what self mastery is. I've cleaned my channel. I'm manifesting. I'm honest. I know what I value. I have self worth. I understand universal law, natural law. I know how to harmonize with it. Now I can now go forward with my life and continue this ongoing practice. I can stay in continual self appraisal. I live in radical honesty. But it's about me. It's not about you. It's about how I react to you. And my reaction to you is based on my constitution, my, my bliss, my joy. I can only react with what's inside of me. So if I'm self mastered and I'm self actualized, I got nothing in me but inner peace. So if someone's rude to me or flips me off on the freeway, I'm probably going to go, oh, you know, they probably had a really bad day at work and just offer compassion.

Yeah.

Whereas in a non embodied version of Andrea might be like, f you too, mother. Ever you cut me off, you know, like, oh. And if I did react like that, I'd say, ooh, why did my ego get triggered? Why did I need to be right? Why? Why? Why? And I could dissect it. I could go to my higher power source in prayer and gratitude and work it out. So it's like we become our own guru, right? I know you feel that, girl.

Oh, I totally do. I mean, I will tell you, the line that I started using after Layden was like, I don't know if they just lost their child. And it was just such like, like you don't know what's going on in anyone else's life.

That's right.

And when you assign stories and you feel like, oh, God, we're gonna be doing more episodes, but when you assign stories and like, when you make everything about you, that's your ego, like that person cutting you off had nothing to do with you. Had nothing to do with you. You. Maybe they are an. I don't know. But if they are, they're in pain, right?

That's right.

Struggling. Like, maybe they're. Maybe they're on their way to the hospital. Maybe they just lost somebody. Maybe they got fired from their job. Like, we don't know. And so can we not make it about us? And, you know, I always say this. I always say the best lesson I learned in my group journey was that we're entitled to nothing and worthy of everything. And so often as a society, we have a backwards. We think we are worthy of nothing and entitled to everything. And, like, we're not entitled to not being cut off in traffic. We're not entitled to there not being traffic. We're not entitled to certain weather. We're not entitled to anything.

Right.

But we're so worthy of everything and we forget that and we throw away our worthiness and we. We carry this, like, unspoken entitlement. And I just think when, as you're speaking into abundance and manifestation, and I love that it's not until module five, because no, you cannot. And literally, I can't wait to send you the podcast. Like, I did a little solo episode and I'm like, before you can even manifest, you have to clean and clear and create a pure environment, or you can't even. Your intuition. Right? So it's like, I didn't even tell you about. This was the last, like, the episode that's coming out, the last one that's come out. And like, of course, here we are talking about it.

Synchronicity, baby. One of the things that really kind of was a marker, a cornerstone, and when I knew I had achieved, like, just inner peace and serenity, was when, let's say, someone would cut me off or someone would be an a hole on the freeway, giving them that compassion and thinking much like you, maybe they're on the way to the hospital. Maybe they lost their job. Just, like, knowing that I had compassion, but then also realizing whatever's going on in their life is none of my business. My business has nothing to do with me. Like, why do I need to be in my head about this right now? I don't. And that was like, So I always tell my clients, and I always, like, say on Instagram and stuff like, use your drive time as your litmus test for your spiritual condition. Yes, truly, you'll know. You'll know.

Anyone who listening to this while they're driving too, is probably like, damn.

Oh, and let me tell you something about karma real quick. So karma is universal across the board. We. We create a karmic effect every day. Start waving people over on the freeway, start letting people in, start giving little waves of gratitude, and you will be amazed by how in a week or two, it starts happening to you. Everyone lets you over. Everyone gives you little waves. It's like so, so beautiful. And that teaches you too, that you can manifest through karma as well.

Yeah. Law of attraction. So beautiful. All right, Andrea, let everybody know. And they want to find out more about your magic and your work. Where can they find you? What do you do? Like, if, I mean, anyone listening to this right now has got to be ready to just go jump and click. Where can I get connected to Andrea? So tell the people.

Well, I run two six and 12 month mentorship programs for both men and women. It's private. One on one hand holding, cheerleading, championing, where we start, you know, from wherever you are. And we just propel you into self master bliss, which incorporates all the things you know, harnessing and harmonizing with the universal law, cleaning out, cleaning out all the karmic crud of yesterday and all that residue that we take with us, you know, creating that clear channel, staying in that constant contact with our higher power source and really ultimately attracting miracles. So people can find that the links to work with me or apply to work with me in the link in my bio on the I Am Everything project on Instagram or@andrea lowell.com I have all the offerings there, but I really like the link tree in my bio on Instagram because I have a bunch of freebies. You can join my mailing list and you can also book single sessions with me there as well. So I'm always on Instagram at the I'm Everything project. I just hopped off an Instagram live right now, and I love it, so.

And all of that will be linked in the show notes. So anybody who's watching and maybe not attentive to your device right now, check out the show notes because we'll have all of that for you so you can get more of Andrea's magic. Because speaking from experience, even just on Zoom, you want this woman's energy in your life. So, Andrea, thank you so much for joining us on the show. It was an absolute honor and pleasure and fun to be able to jam with you.

Absolutely, sister. I feel the same way.

Thank you all so much for being here at Grief and Guts as Layden's mom. Being able to spread the stories, the strategies, the lessons I have learned through Laden and from Laden is the thing that means the most to me and this world and allowing my daughter's short life to have long and lasting impact by shining her light. Truly, nothing means more if you align with and believe in the work that we're doing here in these messages. The best way to give back and to spread this out into the world is to rate and review on Spotify and on itunes. Thank you for taking just a moment to do that. Feel free to shoot me a message. Let me know what you want to hear more of, what you want to see more of. I am here to serve. I'm grateful to do so and I'm cheering you on in your journeys.

Always.