117: Understanding and overcoming dysregulation w/ Jennifer Watson

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Welcome to Grief and Guts. I'm your host, Melissa Dugulecki. It is my honor and privilege to serve you by sharing stories, tools, interviews, and strategies that will help you transition from what do I do now? How do I get through this? Those feelings of overwhelm and uncertainty to truly standing in your power. From my grief journey in losing my daughter laden in 2014, that I learned, practiced, was exposed to all these tools, but they are not grief specific. In fact, they apply universally to all of our unique situations. You've already done the hard part by showing up, by opening up to something new. So without any further ado, let's get to the good stuff that's going to help you in your journey. Let's dive in.

All right, everybody, welcome back. I have another amazing guest this week that I'm so excited to introduce you to. And I want to preface it with. I often hear as somebody who, you know, spends a lot of time on social media and coaches entrepreneurs to build their business through social media or any of the platforms, I hear a lot of people complain about, well, social media, it's all. It's all fake and it's smoking mirrors and it's this and that and know. I want authentic connections and I want to just invite you into. I haven't had that experience. I actually find that when you be an authentic connection, you attract authentic connections. And through that, I was so lucky that the universe allowed me to attract in our amazing guests today. So please join me in welcoming Jennifer Watson. She is a speaker of truth, a high performance leadership coach and practitioner, and here to share some of her magic with us today. So, Jennifer, welcome.

Thank you so much for having me, Melissa. I get giddy to be around people like you because I agree, I've met some amazing people on social, you being one of them. And I'm just here to serve and be served back and just make some epicness over the next 30 minutes.

Mm, yeah, it's gonna be great. And it's interesting because, you know, we never script our podcast interviews. I don't. I know that's not your style either, but I do always ask what feels alive for you right now? And what you spoke into was, you know, the activation of truth and frequency and dysregulation, whether it's nervous system or other forms of healing. And gosh, I just finished a mini course for women going through, you know, nervous system regulation and energy regulation and how we are. So without realizing it, no one walks around like I have a dysregulated nervous system or I'm dysregulated. But we have so many symptoms and, and ways of functioning that are signs of being out of regulation, being in fight or flight, being in autopilot. And so of course that's a lie for you and you know what you do for people is activate their truth and their frequency. But you really help leaders heal so that they can then activate others. So I would love for you to tell us what you do.

Yeah. So you know my grassroots everyone is as a holistic practitioner. Like Melissa said, I was an integrated physical therapist for 20 plus years, working on healing clients and honestly myself, mind, body, body, soul, and regulating so many systems of the body, harmonizing the body, including the nervous system. And through my own journey of mental wellness, emotional wellness, dysregulation, struggle. Even in my early 20s when I was quotes, you know, really high level, high performer, successful, and through my own journey, go figure, I came up with frameworks to help other high performing leaders that want to create impact, really feel good in their mind, their body, their soul. And again I did that in a brick and mortar. And now I've transitioned the last three and a half years into wellness and high performance leadership coaching for high performing leaders and really have you be in this happy space in your mind, body, soul there you can then tap in, activate this high frequency because that's what we need from you when you're trying to create this impact in acceleration of whatever you're giving to the world. So now I get a coach on that, I get to speak on that across the country and I can use my two babes, the things and expertise. I've fallen in love with wellness and leadership and really how I believe they're the two have the assets that are needed for really the leader you have to heal the leader you have to get them to articulate, activate their truth and their frequency so they can live their epic life. And I want to live by example. And my journey has been such as that and it hasn't been easy, but it's been a journey that's allowed me to help others heal and move into an epic space. So powerful.

And I agree, I mean in order to heal others, we get to be healed.

Yes, 100%. And you know, in my own journey, I just heard you, Melissa. I always thought as a leader, all of us have, I've always thought as a leader that I had to heal everyone first, even before my stuff. But it was just some avoidance piece like, you know what's so funny, how dysregulated, how disconnected I was from my body and I was teaching people how to do this. So I love that you said that, that I truly, to actually help people better, really had to navigate some dark points of my wellness, my vitality journey. But I'm telling you, it's accelerated my impact, my ability to help others and just really create this truth that I'm now stepping forward in as my full self. So it's so come full circle, my friend.

Mm. You know, I mean, I've coached over, Gosh, 1200, 1400 entrepreneurs now, and mostly coaches and consultants. And I've really honest with them about, hey, I think you might be coaching this from your wound, not the healing. And it can be confusing for people because I will also say, hey, you don't have to be Tony Robbins to be a mindset coach. You just have to be able to take people further than where they are. And I do believe that to be true. But I see a lot of people, they are trying to heal something in themselves and then want to create a community or coach others and heal that in them, but they're not quite there yet. And I think it's really important to have the patience and the commitment of mastery to your own healing before you teach healing. Now, obviously, if you're like a web designer or photographer, it's a little bit different. You can do them in tandem. But if you are coaching, spirituality, healing, embodiment, like, it's so important, I believe, for you to really get the explosive results which come from a place of alignment and impact to do the healing.

You know, And I love that you just said that. Listen, I hope any high performing coach that's on right now really gets this, what you just said. I knew I wasn't healed when I was speaking, coaching some people when I would get done. This happened literally early in my coaching speaking career where I got done with an epic speech. I knocked it kind of from a structural sense out of the park. And I remember when I was done, I'm like, why do I feel so. Why do I feel you guys? If you're not in your high frequency, your body's giving information. You guys, I was in freeze. I was at a very young age where I was, for a variety of reasons, you might be able to go into dick, not allowed to speak my truth. So I was forcing these messages on stage and even though superficially I knocked out of the park or even coaching interactions, but I get off the call or get off the coat, you know, this speaking gig, and I'm like, why do I feel so bland inside. Like, this isn't normal. And that's when I begin my work of going, wait a minute. There's a resistance. There's a push here. There's a healing part that I have not healed. And I'll be honest to you, everyone, I thought it was a fraud. It was like, there's something just congruent here. And what it did, everybody, I stepped in and gave myself grace, not shame, and go, wait a minute. There's something my body's telling me that's not aligned here in what you just said, Melissa. When I listened to the symptoms list communicate with my body, I was able to step back out and go, where was this discong coming from? And then step more powerfully into coaching and speaking again. But I had to step back and go, well, it looked good on paper, but I don't feel good. I feel and that there's something wrong with that. And I think that is a great place to start. People are wondering, like, am I bringing my junk to the space? Go back to your body, right, Melissa? I mean, your body never lies. What are people saying now? Sometimes some of us need coaches or other people give us tools to find out how to navigate that. But just sitting with it is at least an awareness where the body can start trying to regulate, even if you don't have a tool yet, everyone. So if you don't feel good when you maybe should, like, I. E. Coaching someone, sit with it. Figure out what you're bringing to that environment so next time you can really knock it out of the park in your truth, in your frequency, to be that. So I love that you said that.

I think that's, you know, such an important point and something I'd love to hear your thoughts on, Jennifer, is I believe that it takes coaching and mentoring or practice or tools to be able to understand the signs from your body. Because I'll be honest, even when I look back for myself, I can see times where I felt like my body was telling me, that's a full body, yes, but it was actually my wounds or my unhealed trauma that was drawing me back to the same energetic dynamic that wasn't serving me, whether it was how I consumed food, how I was in relationship to intimacy or in partnerships or in friendships or how I spent money, like all these energy sources. So how can somebody begin to really build trust with what their body is telling them and to untangle it from wounds or unhealed parts of them?

You know, first and foremost, everybody, truly, this is not a plug for coaches. But if you've never done this type of work, like inner work, shadow work, really connected your body, I highly encourage everyone to get a mentor coach because I try to do a lot of this on my own for years. Okay. But I do want to give you guys at least some tools to start at least getting some traction, getting some momentum going. If you're like, I'm not aware of my body, I'm not sure what it's telling me, and hell yes, hell no, Whether in fight or flight, whether I'm in freeze, you know, whatever, I want to give you that today. But just understand a lot of us that are trying to move to that next level do need that outside person coming into support to create that safe space so we can continue to unwind it. Because, Melissa, I couldn't agree with you more. Without the tools, I don't know if I would have been able to go fully deep enough to fully heal things and rewire the behavior that's aligned with the activation I want to create. So everyone just know that we've all been there a lot of times. We all need that support. But as far as really moving through this, Melissa, you know, a lot of us, you know, think the power of the pause. We hear this a lot. But it is really important that all of us throughout our day do check ins. And what I mean is, even if you don't know, like, what do you mean a check in where you stop your day? You know, if you're on your computer, close your computer and go outside. If you're talking to a person in a staff meeting and you've been talking all day, you know, go into another room and just sit. And what I mean is unplug from whatever you're actively doing that day and just check in to your body. And it could be something as simple, well, I feel tension in my neck, I have a headache, or I have some low back pain tension, or I feel something in my stomach. Or maybe you're like, you know what? I feel so energized. I feel expansive, I feel light.

Start writing it down.

What you'll notice by the end of a journaling day, everyone is you'll notice different words that describe different parts of your day and ones that feel better too. Like, okay, I was in a better space. I can tell with these words, I felt expansive, I felt light. This part of the day, I noticed I was feeling low intention and I felt it here. That way you start just the general superficial surface of understanding what your body is saying to you throughout the day. And I would actually put a timer on everyone, like every hour, on the hour, do a body check in. How are you physically doing? What does it feel like? Describe it, put it on paper, because right there your brain will start paying attention more and then you'll be more aware of it even into the next day without even doing a nat, like an automatic check in from a timer. Okay, everybody, we have to. What Americans are horrible at, unless that is, we don't check in with ourselves throughout the day. And that's when that day can either go haywire or go great, but we don't know where it's coming from. So I would encourage all of you first and foremost to do a frequent check in. How is your body feeling? And describe it and put it down, good or bad? And that's going to help you start getting super aware of how your body's communicating to you, if that makes sense. That's probably the easiest tool.

Yeah, I mean, the power of the pa. Like, it gets to be simple so often. Want to overcomplicate it. And I'll. I'll never forget when I was in the earlier stages of my healing, of my grief journey. And I say that because there's no finish line, right? But when I was in the earlier stages, I was in such fight. When it comes to fight or flight, I was in, you know, I was in fight. I wanted to read every book I could listen to, every podcast, go to every parent group, travel that side the country to, you know, hear a renowned speaker and author. And I'll never forget my therapist at the time said, melissa, sometimes you just have to sit with the shit. And I was like, that feels awful. And I remember at times sitting on my couch, like when I would notice I was trying to run around and distract, and it was like, okay, who can I text? Where can I go get something to eat? Where can I go shopping? Like, all of these ways to escape just sitting and feeling what was coming up. But truly, that was the medicine, and yet I was complicating it and using time and money unnecessarily and ignoring where I really got to go.

Right? And I love that you just said, and I want everybody to know that. Do you hear what Melissa said? And many of you have heard of fight, flight or freeze. All of us, when we're in a yucky state, deal with things a little bit differently. And knowing kind of what state you're in is going to help you do another activity, help move you out of it. So we said the power to pause is Real. But for Melissa, what did she just say? She wanted to fight, and her person kind of supported her by saying, hey, listen, just sit with it. It's going to feel yucky. For those of you that may be going to freeze, where literally you can't think. You feel like you can't even move. That was actually me, Melissa, what I learned. And this is another tool, everybody. If you're in that free state versus Melissa's fight, you want to do some type of light movement, even if it's like some gentle yoga movements or going out in the sun and just a slow walk, because you want to get yourself out of that freeze actually into either calm or fight or flight. So you can sit down and meditate and just sit with it like you did Melissa. So I think sometimes what we do when we're just getting used to this is we go Google things online and go, okay, well, they say when I feel like I'm stressed, I should just sit and puzzle. I'm like, well, yes, but we really want to dialogue and delay or like, what you're truly feeling. Fight, freeze, or fun. Which is something we can go into today as well, you guys. But once you sit for a moment, there might be a different activity that would Melissa would do versus me to get me out of whatever, quote, negative state I'm in gently and then allow me to navigate some other things with other tools. And that's just something that I would recommend those people and kind of going from there. Melissa.

Yeah. I think it's really important that you brought that up. And this is why I say whether it's business, you know, I've been a health coach, health and mindset. And then I was in. Well, I am in, you know, business coaching and entrepreneurship. And my number one thing is there's no cookie cutter way of doing it, and there's no cookie cutter way of healing, and there's no cookie cutter way of, like, managing your triggers and your fear responses. Right. Your trauma responses. And so I'm really glad that you named that. Thank you.

Absolutely.

And just you guys, honestly doing this.

Stuff, I know it feels yucky at first, like Melissa said, but I'm tell you, once you start going through this journey of being willing to feel the yuck, kind of go to that edge, everyone. There's something really beautiful on the other side. It's called, we all know, presence. It feels so good to be present. I hear people all the time saying, I feel so disconnected from other people. Like, well, are you connected with yourself? And it starts with this you guys, the good, the bad, the ugly. And when you're willing to navigate the ugly, so to speak, you get to this, yes, you guys, other landscape of really feeling connected to yourself and then you can start connecting to others. Honestly, truthfully, Melissa knows I'm a speaker of truth and I'm. I felt like a fraud for so many years trying to cover up. I was fighting or flight fleeing or freezing and stuff and it was exhausting. And then when I was willing to do this work and sit with the yuck and use some of these tools we're talking about, I got super present with myself. And you know what I literally said, Melissa? I was like, this is what it feels like to be in presence with self. Then I could actually be a better coach. I could be more emotionally intelligent with what my coaching clients or even when I was on stage, what the people needed because I could connect with them better. Right, right. Because I'm connected to myself. So you guys, if you're willing to sit with this, it's the best work you're going to do, whether you're an entrepreneur, a leader, just a badass high performing person, do this work. Oh my gosh. It's going to activate your presence, AKA what I call your frequency, and you are going to shift rules without even trying. Melissa, I find that you can become unstoppable.

Yeah, I agree. Thank you for sharing that. And something that I've witnessed and curious and I've seen this kind of drawn out in like a pyramid, almost like a hierarchy of needs. But as we're talking about this, what I often witness is it's almost body, mind, soul, inner body.

Right?

Like the entryway. A lot of people start with connecting to themselves by like their fitness and their actual exterior body. And then I see a lot of people progress. Like I coach a lot of fitness instructors who are like, well, it used to just be about like workout programs, but now I see how it's the mindset too. And then, you know, it's integrating the mindset with it. And then from body and mind, I see people move more into a connection to their intuition and their soul. And from there that guides them into the deep understanding of like the internal dialogue of their body, not the external.

You know, I love, I love this conversation, Melissa, because I had to tell you, a lot of people ask me on podcasts, like, what do you think is different as far as a landscape for leaders, you know, entrepreneur, business leaders, like creating impact, like, what do you think is the big domino on the work that they need to do on themselves for continuing personal development. And I say this all the time. Listen to these two things. Your spiritual journey and your intuition, two powerful sources for on your spiritual journey, it leads to your spiritual truth, right? Your core being, your core values, why you are here. Your intuition, when you fan it well, is like the antennas bringing things in and out from you, into you to fan that spiritual truth, right? So I believe that the shield leader, the more epic or the more influential the earth is actually doing the reverse. Like you said, a lot of people start physical, but actually are willing to tap in now, especially in the last two or three years in their spiritual journey first, which I believe is the big domino for these other areas. And ultimately what you want to do to create impact and what that often engages to is your intuition. Because as you're figuring out your truth and you're naving this spiritual truth, you start getting heck yes, heck no to certain things. That's honing this intuition. I teach seven levels intuitive mastery with a lot of my spiritual entrepreneurs. And I find it's probably one of the biggest weapons in a positive way to create connection to self into the people that they're leading. And people want that right now, Melissa. They're wanting that connection, the spirit in this person that feels so confident in what they're bringing to and from themselves, intuition. So I agree with you that a lot of us start in this physical then mental than going deeper. And I believe a lot of people are willing to jump into this spiritual piece, intuitive peace first, because they're seeing as a big domino. And I believe you can access it now with the right tools.

Super powerful. So how can somebody like a listener who's wondering, like, well, how do I know if I'm dysregulated? How do I know what to do? Or what are the signs? What would you say are some, you know, of the signs or the symptoms of dysregulation?

Yeah, you know, that's such a great question. So you guys, whether you're in Fight, Flight, Freeze or fun. Okay, many of you might know know Fight, Flight or freeze. A lot of you know that the funny I would say, AKA is people pleasing. You know, it's usually coming from a fear of pandemic, fear of being rejected. So we're doing things to overcompensate by making sure that everybody around us likes us, is okay with us. And we're saying things that aren't even our truth being certain ways that aren't our truth. Behaviorally, that's kind of in general what first, fawning is okay. It's a more subtle form. A lot of high performing leaders do this because we want people to like us as well. This was something that I did a lot. Melissa was fawning, even fawning. And Fraser, my biggest two, right, you unsend fights, you know, or flight or some others. But fawning, you guys really get. This is a very subtle pattern of dysregulation. Again, I call it. In summary, it's a little more than this, but AKA if you're a people pleaser or chronic people pleaser, you want to look at why you're doing that. Usually there's a trauma behind that and that is also a trauma response. Just like fights, flight or freeze, fawning is a trauma response. If you want more information on that, reach out to us. But no matter which one you're in, everyone, this is how, I'm a practitioner because this is how it's going to come out. It's going to come out in a dysregulated hormone imbalancing amenorrhea and menstrual abnormalities is going to come out as headaches, tension, muscle tension is going to come out as gut problems, constipation, diarrhea, bloating. It's going to come out as feeling disoriented, not feeling totally maybe in your body feeling like you're watching yourself. It's going to come off as I feel like I can't get anything done. I'm just so in my head. It's going to come off where you're feeling that you're hypercritical of others. Yes, you guys, you're going to find that sometimes you're getting severity emotions like anger, severe lows, maybe depression or severe highs like an anxiety. You're extra sensitive to lights. Okay, Extra sensitive. What people are saying. So you guys see I'm going through physical, mental, emotional and spiritual symptoms here. It's not just it doesn't matter why you're in the trauma response you're in, but you will experience everyone different than others. Physical, emotional, spiritual symptoms. A physical is a bloating, like gut bloating or your cycle is now shutting down. When I was in freeze, you guys, my cycle cyc literally stopped. Just letting you know such a physical response mental is you're getting in your head or you can't get anything done and you can't get clear anything and you're just feeling like you're disoriented or you're, you know, unmotivated. You're Lacking motivation. You know, emotional response is more. You're getting violent or highly angry or highly emotional and getting triggered easily. Right? A spiritual response is more like shame, guilt, like, why am I here? Do I not have a purpose? I feel outside body. Does that make sense, you guys? So I want you to see the tears here. You may be more aware of one versus the other, but I guarantee you're feeling a mind, body, soul, spiritual, you know, symptom, even if you're not feeling it right now. And when I started really writing down, we said, begin this podcast, everyone just do daily check ins. You start realizing that your body's communicating. Mind, body, soul, physical, emotional, spiritual. Things that are happening that are keeping you in a certain trauma response. And the more you're willing to be aware of it, you're like, oh, I see what I'm doing. The more you can at least stop and at least not do a pattern that you normally do. Does that make sense, everybody? So even if you don't have any other tools, recognizing when you're in one of these trauma responses. Fight, flights, fawn, freeze. Okay, if you want more information on that, talk to Melissa, right? And then start writing down, okay, this is what I'm feeling right now. Says I'm in the fall. And I think, what do I feel in my body? What emotionally is going on? You guys, when I was in severe depression, I had gut issues. My cycle was stopping. I was highly critical of people. I got angry easily. I had highs and lows, almost like bipolar tendencies. You guys, here's. And I started connecting this and it wasn't necessarily fun to go through, but when I started connecting it, even before I got a coach, I, I can at least go, okay, I'm angry right now. My natural response would be go downstairs and yell at my boyfriend. Okay, I'm catching it now, so at least I can take a deep breath. This is what makes us higher level humans, the highest animal in the animal kingdom. You guys, we do have a choice. So now I recognize I'm like, okay, I'm angry and I couldn't go get edgy with the next person in my world. Or I could just sit with this like we said. You guys just sit with it. Or maybe go outside on a gentle walk, stabilize and calm myself down a little bit. And you guys, that's what I started doing. Then I'm like, okay, I don't feel as angry. I feel hope. I feel. Does that make sense, everyone? So it doesn't always start with 20 tools. Breath work, meditation, shadow work, which by the way I believe is all beautiful, powerful and necessary for most of us. But at least just checking in throughout the day, start getting used to how you react in a trauma response, writing it down that right there you're going to be able to catch the dog pooping, so to speak in the app, you know, and then right there and say, I'm at least not going to choose to do this. The example I just made with my boyfriend, okay, so what can I do right now? And then what I often do after I go would go out for a walk because I was in a freeze and I was angry with him or whatever. I go on a walk, then I come back in and pause and I start asking questions. Everybody like, okay, I'm feeling a bit better, but why am I so angry? You know, okay, I'm feeling not in control. Why don't feel in control? Why don't feel like this? And it got down for me a lot of abandonment issues as a child that to always feel like I had to perform, needing to be perfect at everything, needed to be non emotional to be loved and seen. Okay, so if it was ever triggered in my environment, I would fawn or freeze. Does that make sense, you guys? You start seeing patterns of things you've done in your past, possibly as kids, wounds from your past, and how it's kind of throwing up on your current situation. But sometimes if you just pause or go outside and move a little bit, then get back into your Alison, you're feeling a little bit better, start asking these questions, you start going, you guys, is actually really empowering. At first it doesn't feel good, but you're like, whoa, that's why I'm getting so upset with him. It's really not about him. It's something my past, I'm afraid that I'm going to lose him because does that make sense? But you start connecting the dots because now you're present, you're present, you're present. I can't overemphasize that. And then you start connecting the dots and all of a sudden you start seeing your frequency slowly coming up, slowly getting out of your fun, slowly getting out of your freeze. And then you notice, wow, I can shift some of this. Then you start gaining momentum, then you start feeling more empowered, then you start being in your frequency. You guys see where this is going? You gotta be willing to go to the source and that requires to be in the dark. And that requires you to sit and understand and connect the dots and your brain will give you answers. It's Brilliant. It will give you answers, but you gotta be willing to sit with it, maybe move a little bit, ask questions and. Right. Being aware you're going to be able to have an opportunity to make a different decision. And, you guys, there's nothing more empowering than be able to get yourself out of yuck on your own.

Well, I completely agree. And I think what you really spoke into is powerful, like the willingness to go to the source.

Yeah.

And so often we run to treat the symptom and that becomes a game of whack a mole. You knock one symptom down and it will pop up somewhere else. We knock a symptom down and it will pop up somewhere else. So really, for anybody listening who is seeking like this deeper sense of freedom from not being in. And what I heard you speak into, Jennifer, is not being in the passenger seat to your emotional reactions.

Yes.

That are deeply seated in your past, but to be in the driver's seat, those emotional reactions are there. They're in a passenger seat or the backseat, but they're not driving the vehicle. And that is where the work really works. And I believe it is the most selfless thing to do because it allows you not only to have freedom within yourself, but it allows you to show up more powerfully with more presence, with more love, with more control in your relationships. And you know what, Melissa, it's really.

Funny because a lot of us are like, oh, the shadow work, the dark work, that we get this kind of like almost a little frequency talking about this when really it should be really inspiring to us. And you want. You guys, I play a game. I chest out, chest move my brain. And if I'm still struggling, you guys go back to being a kid. You didn't judge when you fell on the sidewalk or you're screwed up in class or. And I'm talking before you felt the judgment of others. Play a game with this. You guys, be a kid. Honestly, almost make fun of yourself. Like, oh, here it goes again. There's that, that old wound coming up. You guys get a little light about it. I'm going to be a little counterintuitive here for everyone because I think sometimes we take ourselves too seriously when we're going through some of this. Yes, comma, some of this is going to be dark and we have to navigate that. But I believe you can create a spin on this, everyone, because as you're kind of getting rid of a pattern or a wound or, you know, a trauma response, it's going to come up frequently, you guys, as you're trying to get rid of. You're not. It's not going to shift overnight. This is a moment not to shame yourself. And something that helped me, Melissa, is start making a game of it. Think of my six year old self having fun doing somersaults in the yard in like sometimes screwing up and just being playful and not looking at the outcome, not feeling ashamed because I didn't do a somersault right. Or something. That's what I started doing too. And I'm like, oh, there it is again, that fawning. Okay, Jennifer, I see you, you know, and almost would say laugh it off, you guys. But I do believe we need a softer side sometimes to allow us not to go down the same road that sometimes inner work can bring us in again. Guidance of a mentor is helpful, but when you're doing this on your own, I mean, I literally, when I started doing this work, you guys would do somersaults, jumping jacks, skip outside, be it again. Because it's like serving. When we go back to tapping into kid things of us or go out and serve someone, it debates so many creative zones in our brain and dumps happy pills in our system. It gives us opportunities to look at solutions. It takes us at a low frequency of shame and guilt into high frequency. There's so many rapid tools I use. But one thing I'd say to all of you, if you're still struggling after all these tools I've given you, go outside and do some somersaults. I'm not kidding. You guys have fun with it. And I'm just, if I can even do that with you and help you, support you in that, that's the power of this. Everyone. Go back to being a kid and tap into your higher frequency that you always had and you never lost even after all this.

Yeah, thank you for speaking into that. It's something that I, I'm really passionate about taking down the, the shame culture that can thrive in these environments. And I often laugh at myself too. Not in a way where I'm dismissing it, but where I'm just allowing it and witnessing it.

Yeah.

And so for anyone listening, there's a big difference between dismissing it and being sarcastic and downplaying it or accepting it and witnessing it as like, I will often be like, oh my goodness, Melissa, what were you thinking?

Right?

You know, what were you thinking? Like, oh my gosh, that was a ridiculous version of you. So, all right, Jennifer, you have shared so many amazing nuggets and just given the listeners so much to Think about, what final advice or support would you have for somebody who wants to raise their frequency, who wants to feel regulated? What advice that you have for them that they can walk away here with you guys?

I'm gonna say this. You have one shot to get on that bowl and do your eight seconds. It's your life. It's your life. I don't care if you're on cloud nine or doing the inner work that we're talking about, that can be really hard. You have your eight seconds on the goal, AKA your life. And I'm going to encourage all of you to activate your frequency, to actually do the inner work, the darkness, and then come out to this other side and to get your 8 seconds on the ball. Live your life ferociously, and I mean ferociously healing, ferociously going after your goals, and at the same time, being a kid and having fun and gracious to yourself. Your eight seconds on the bowl of life requires you to do that. And I believe when you do that, when you go after your life ferociously in the dark and the light and pull in the kid in you to provide grace, knowing we're all doing this, I believe you will become unstoppable in the life that's in front of you every day of the week and twice on Sunday.

And isn't that what we're here for? You know, to be on that 8 second bull ride and ultimately this blip of like really is that. And to be in our highest extension and not to live in fear or in prisoner to our triggers and our bonds and not making anything that we've experienced or anything that's happened to us wrong. It gets to be what we are navigating and we get to be in full ownership of how we respond. And I think it's very important to walk with.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

All right, Jennifer, where can listeners find you to learn more about your work and just experience more of all of these wonderful things you speak into?

Oh, absolutely. Some of the most active on Instagram at the Jennifer Watson, if you guys have any questions on this podcast, don't.

Hesitate to DM me.

I answer my own dms, you know, and I really want to support you if there's some other questions you have here and for any of your listeners, Lysa, I definitely, if they DM me the word epic, because it's my favorite word, they can get a free PDF video breathwork series on stuff like this. How to regulate your system, how to get back into high energy. If you want to get back into the game. For the day. So I'd love to give that to you for all your listeners. And it's like a 10 minute video series so it doesn't take a lot of your time. Everybody just DM me. Epic Jennifer Watson and I gotcha.

Amazing. Jennifer, thank you so much for joining us today. It is a pleasure to be able to spread your wisdom and your light and your passion for life and everyone's possibility.

Thank you all so much for being here at Grief and Guts as Laden's mom. Being able to spread the stories, the strategies, the lessons I have learned through Layden and from Layden is the thing that means the most to me in this world and allowing my daughter's short life to have long and lasting impact on by shining her light. Truly, nothing means more if you align with and believe in the work that we're doing here in these messages. The best way to give back and to spread this out into the world is to rate and review on Spotify and on itunes. Thank you for taking just a moment to do that. Feel free to shoot me a message. Let me know what you want to hear more of, what you want to see more of. I am here to serve. I'm grateful to do so and I'm sharing you on in your journeys.

Always.