17: Why the law of attraction ISN’T working for you

Hello friends, and welcome to Grief Guts and Green Smoothies. I am your host, Melissa Dugalecki, and I am so excited to be here with you all to chat about ways in which we can all get through different adversities, challenges and loss and how getting outside of our comfort zone and maybe having a green smoothie or two can help us do so. We will cover different topics ranging from interviews to recipes to sharing my own stories of my grief journey and the loss of my daughter, Layden. Honor to be able to share her light in hopes of helping you spread your now let's dive in. All right, everybody, welcome back. I'm excited to do this thing with all of you, this whole podcasting thing. Today, we are talking about the Law of Attraction, and I love talking about the Law of Attraction. It's something I get a lot of questions in. And the work that I do with both the private clients that I work with, life coaching. And then on the mindset portion of our move course, we start each day adjusting energy to take advantage of right, to capitalize this Law of Attraction, which is this governing law. And I'm excited to dive into it today. Now, so many people ask about the Law of Attraction, and I just want to take a step back and remember everything in this world is energy, right? And all different types of energy are what keep this world moving, are what create experiences, right? Food is a form of energy. Thought is a form of energy. Money is a form of energy. These are all different forms. Those are tangible forms of energy, but really, everything around us, they're forms of energy. And the Law of Attraction is built on the forms of energy, right? And capitalizing on how we use our energy to attract certain types of energy. And so when you think of the Law of Attraction, think of yourself as a magnet. And that whether we're doing it knowingly or unknowingly in every moment of our existence, right? Of using energy, we're acting as magnets, sending out these energy waves into the universe. And then we're attracting back what we put out. And this is why a lot of people wonder why they keep having the same things manifest or they keep replaying the same types of stressors over and over, right? So often we say it will get better when and then we get through that situation. And then the same thing kind of manifests in a different way. And then we say, oh, it'll get better when we get through this. And then the same thing manifests, right? We can be chronically busy or stressed or sad or alone or overweight or not getting results or broke. Right. I know a lot of people, including myself, before I understood the Law of Attraction was always just a little bit over where I wanted to be in my fitness goals and always just a little bit under or I wanted to be in my financial goals. And you know, really understanding this is so transformative. And what I would say is, if you don't understand it right away, just maybe open your mind up to it. That it's possible that there's this much larger picture in our universe and that we are so much more powerful than we realize, that we're just constantly emitting energy that's going to come right back to us based on what we emit. So I am so excited to dive in and share with you, to not only share with you more about the Law of Attraction, but the four reasons why I see the Law of Attraction not working for others. And this is very common because as I shared every single day, it's the most important thing that I ask for people to commit to, whether they're working with me privately or they're working with me and mooch in our program. Move. And I'm handling the mindset content every single day, taking four minutes, four to five minutes literally. This morning I was scribbling it down, you know, right before going to teach my yoga class and that was all I had time for. But I got it done and it doesn't take long, it doesn't have to be fancy, it's not labor intensive. But taking a few minutes every day to make sure our energy is in alignment with what we're trying to achieve, to set ourselves up to move throughout our day with integrity of our energy. Because I always say the only thing we have control over is, is our own energy. I'll say that again, the only thing we have control over is our own energy. We expend and waste so much of the only thing we have control over, our energy trying to control and predict and manipulate external energies, forces, circumstances, people, situations, whatever it may be. And so what we want to do is really begin to look within, right? And then those situations that keep manifesting, those begin to shift because we realize what's at the root of our own energy that keeps attracting them back in. Right? What am I doing to attract us back in? We've talked recently about looking at when things happen, saying, you know, this is happening. For me, that can be really challenging. It's kind of easy to understand and accept when it's positive, but really committing to that belief is being committed to it. When it's challenging. And so these are the reasons why I see the Law of Attraction, which is this unbelievable, powerful force we have within us, right, to use our energy every day to make ourselves a human magnet for what we want back in our lives. But there are four main reasons why I say they don't work. So we're going to get to those so that you can begin assessing if you're using the Law of Attraction, how you're using it, and if any of these things are roadblocking you from actually accessing the power of it. So the very first reason why the Law of Attraction isn't working for you is if you are leading with negatives. This is one of the most common mistakes I see when trying to enlist right to invite in this Law of Attraction is leading with negative. So what do I mean by that? So instead of focusing on what we want, we focus on what we don't want. So that could look like manifesting. I don't want to spend money online shopping, or I don't want to sleep through my workouts. I don't want to stress out about food. So there are many different ways that we can use a negative in setting our manifestations and creating them. But the Law of Attraction states that the universe doesn't know negatives, so it's not hearing that. And on top of that, the reason it doesn't know that is even if it hears it, is that what are we still focusing our energy on? And I'll be honest, when I first heard the universe doesn't know negatives, I'm like, how does the universe not know negatives? But if we go beyond that, what are we still focusing our energy on? We're still focusing our energy on what we don't want. So therefore, if that's where we're putting our energy, that's what we're going to be magnetizing, attracting back. So when you are setting your intention, when you're setting your manifestation, instead of stating what you don't want, stating what you do want and stating it as if it's already true. So I wake up energized for my workouts. I am clear and confident around food. I spend my money on meaningful things that serve me well. I'm excited about my financial freedom. One other little caveat here, this is a little subset of this first tip, is not only do we not want to use negatives, we don't want to state, and this was a common thing, very common, what we want as if we're not there yet in order to attract something back to us, we need to be standing in that space of energy instead of, I want to wake up for my workouts, I wake up excited, big difference. And you can feel that difference in that energy even just when you say it and how you feel. And so this very first kind of common error that I see is leading with the negatives or speaking from a place of want or someday rather than the present. Okay, the second ever mistake, mishap, whatever we want to call it, you know, I don't believe in like failures or wrongdoings. Right? So second learning opportunity, we can say as to why I see the law of attraction not working for others is that they try to force it. Meaning when they open up and ask the universe for something or state that they're in an energetic place to receive something from the universe, in the back of their minds they're thinking, when am I going to get it? When am I going to get it? When is it going to appear? Why isn't it here? Why is it still happening? Right? Maybe they sleep through their alarm or they, you know, fall short of a goal that they had set and it goes to that place of why isn't this working? Why isn't here? I did this, I've been doing this and kind of this like pressure, this forcing voice. And I always, when I coach, I always like to say, like, think of it as like that nagging friend or relative or significant other, whatever it is, when you know you're deciding on where you want to put your energy, where you want to go if somebody's really nagging you, like, when are you going to know? When are you going to know? When are you going to know? That kind of pushes you away, right? When someone puts a lot of pressure on you for something, we tend to turn in the other direction. And that's all just energy, right? That energy they're pushing at us doesn't feel good. So innately we turn away from it. And this rings true when we're manifesting as well. So when we're opening up to the universe, we've got to trust. We've got to trust that it's going to present when we're ready. And all we can do every day is focus on growing and becoming ready and being so open and ready to receive. We cannot receive if we're a closed vessel. And I know this sounds very woo woo, but it's true. We cannot receive if we're a closed vessel. We have to be an open vessel energetically, right? Notice that your shoulders always Hunched over. When someone has an idea, do you always go to the reasons why it won't work? Well, if that rings true or that sounds familiar, you are likely closed off in many other areas of your life. So where can you open and not try to force it? Right? If somebody's going to come to your house for a barbecue, they're going to come or they're not going to come. You nagging them isn't really going to encourage them to come anymore. And if it does, they're coming out of guilt and that's not good for anybody. So like, let's let go. Maybe you practice doing it in your manifestation, maybe you practice doing it next time you're making plans with somebody. Whatever it is, just letting go, not forcing, not nagging, not pushing. Okay, third one, very, very similar off of that. It's going to come from that energy of kind of needing, that instant satisfaction of knowing, of feeling. This illusion of control is that people grow impatient. We are not a super patient society. Especially love you Steve Jobs, but thanks to Apple, again, love you Steve Jobs, but we are not a super patient society. And so I see so many people where I see them growing and I see them moving in a certain direction and they're not seeing the results just yet. So they abandon ship. So every moment just thinking it could just be the next day, but you got to let go. It could be four months from now, we don't know, could be a year from now. So often we manifest things and the more open that we are, that's going to be truly the more quickly that it presents. And I mean open that we're seeing it because many times things present but we don't see them, right? Because we have our tunnel vision on what's not going well. Or we have our tunnel vision on it's supposed to look a certain way. And so we grow impatient and we jump ship. But so often it's either presented already or it's about to present. So coming back to again, being open, being aware, not getting that tunnel vision, not having some self imposed timeline on the universe, like we can't put a timeline on the universe. But I will tell you from my own experiences, the more I have detached and I'm talking, I've manifested things from, you know, I believe I manifested, you know, mooch and move. And you know, what I was writing down, maybe someday I'll share. But what I was writing down, my manifestation sheets at the time when I met her, it's like mind blowing to me, right? It's like the universe was like here, you know, in terms of owning a business, of empowering others, of speaking of all of these things that, you know, are on my old manifestation sheets, you know, and now I'm building off of those when I do my manifesting. But they have presented the most clearly and the most quickly when I have not put a timeline on the universe, when I've been really open, and when I haven't just walked away from it because it didn't come in the moment that I wanted it to. So find a little bit of patience. You've all got an Inya. We all have patience in us. We just have to cultivate it. We just have to cultivate it. And I will tell you on a side note, I was not a patient person for a majority of my life. So it is very, very possible. And the very last, very common error I see why the Law of Attraction is not working for somebody is because they are not aligned. So what does that mean? Talk a lot about alignment here. So alignment means that the energy that we're using and where we're putting it is aligned with our values and our authentic selves. So I would not be super aligned if I was putting my energy towards trying to manifest winning or creating something in the world of technology. Right. It's not currently in my skill set. Now I could choose to put a lot of energy there and learn, I'm sure. I don't know if I'd ever be the next Steve Jobs. I don't think that's even remotely in my capacity in my authentic self. Right. So it's standing in a place of alignment. That's a really easy example. It's kind of a silly one. But what I see really commonly is that people want to manifest a personal record on a marathon. But the reason that they want to manifest that personal record is because they want to prove themselves to somebody else or they want validation from other people. So what they're seeking is proving something to someone else or getting validation. So that's actually really not aligned with running a pr. Right? With a high vibe energy of running a pr. Running a PR is an awesome thing, but we want to attach that to feeling good about ourselves, to feeling proud about the process, to seeing what's possible for our own bodies, our own minds. Right. So I'm not saying don't go chase that, but if you're actually trying to manifest something, I'm using this as an example. I see it very commonly as trying to get a PR or whatever else you're manifesting. Or wanting, You've got to look at what space you're standing in. Is it from a low vibe of trying to prove to someone else, competing, comparing, jealousy, insecurity, fear, worry, guilt, doubt, shame? I mean, the list goes on. Or is it from a place of connection, of trust, of joy, of opportunity, of knowing yourself, of seeing what's possible, of curiosity? If we are standing in a space of low vibes when setting our intentions, our manifestations, they are not going to present. They're not going to present, right? Just like if we got our friend to come over to a cookout out of guilt or shame, sure, maybe they came to that one cookout, but that friendship certainly isn't going to be growing more productively. They're probably going to be dodging calls going forward if they really didn't want to go to that cookout. Or in time, some resentment might build up or annoyance might build up. We want to think, what space are we standing in when we set our intention, our manifestation, and is it aligned? So I hope this was helpful. I am absolutely obsessed with the law of Attraction. I have tons of books and podcasts and different things that I'd recommend. If you're interested in learning more, get in touch. You know how to find me on Instagram, on my website, through Move, many, many ways. So just shoot me a message. I'm so happy to discuss this with you. And while you're there, go ahead. When I talk about there, I'm talking about the interwebs, the stuff I'm not good at. But we're trying to spread the word a little bit about grief, guts and green smoothies. It's been helping a lot of people in their journeys, you know, and just giving them the support and the tools that are gonna help them feel their best. And as you know, it all comes from Layden. So if you have a moment, hop on itunes, subscribe, write a review. It would mean so much just putting those good vibes out there. If not, no worries. Maybe you will when it aligns. I will see you all soon. Have a wonderful day, friends.