214. From 6 figures in debt to a 7 figure business w Melissa Dlugolecki

Welcome to episode 214. Going from six figures in debt to a seven figure business with Melissa Dugalecki. Welcome to the be that 1% podcast. I'm your host, James Silvis, mindset specialist and performance coach. And here on the show, I'm going to challenge you to think deeper, commit to greatness, and and develop a stronger mindset. You'll hear stories from those who are living life on their terms, and you'll receive strategies that will help you level up. So the question is, are you ready to be your own 1%? Let's get started. All right, everybody, welcome back to the be that 1% podcast and I have a special guest in the house today. We have Melissa Dugalecki, who I had the pleasure of meeting in Peru. As we dove deep and had many life conversations, business conversations, and of all the people that went to Peru this go around, we probably had some of the most memorable moments where we were truly struggling and had to rely on the tools that, that we've learned to get us through. And we were able to adapt, pivot, and ultimately grab as many life lessons from Peru as possible. But in talking with her and just hearing about who she is, what she's doing, I was like, this woman is amazing first and foremost. But to like, I love how she thinks about business and impact and her story is really interesting from where it started to where it is now. And just hearing her transition and what she's learned throughout her life and how she packages that with her business partner is truly remarkable. So I wanted to bring her on to talk about business mindset and how you listening, the audience can, can really take the knowledge that Melissa has earned through her career and grow your business sustainably. So Melissa is a co founder, the co founder of 90 Day CEO and what they do there is build out business strategies and help them scale not just once, twice, but sustainably and really putting the things in place that help them have more fulfillment, better strategy, and obviously more sustainability. So without further ado, Melissa, welcome to the show. So grateful that you're here, dad.

Thank you so much. I'm so honored to be here. And yes, all the lessons in Peru, all of them.

Yeah. Moments where like, am I going to get out of this?

Yeah. Will I survive?

Right, Right, Yeah, yeah.

What were the policies and survival of the contract, Brandon?

Right, Right. Yeah. Yeah. Good thing we signed that waiver. Right?

Yeah.

So funny. From earthquakes to, yeah. Natural disasters to just shedding of things that no longer were serving us. You know, it was, it was super helpful. But I'm glad that we got to connect and that we continue to collaborate on things like this. So if you want to take us back into your story, kind of like where you started and how you got to this point, that would be helpful for context and then we can transition into the meat of the episode today for sure.

And thank you so much for having me. It's interesting. I'm looking out the window of my hotel room right now and it's overlooking the Boston Garden. So I'm from Boston, Massachusetts. I live in Tulum, Mexico now. And I have been traveling quite a bit. I just flew in here from Austin. Before that I was in Hawaii and before that Peru. And my background is actually in education. So I was a high school educator, high school teacher for students with social, emotional disabilities and language based learning, and then a high school athletic director. So I didn't leave Boston. I did not leave Boston because one summers our teams are training and preparing and you know, school vacations, we have hockey games, we got basketball games, we got whatever may be going on with tournaments. So I didn't really leave. So it's very interesting to be back. And my daughter's memorial tree is in Boston Public Garden. So my daughter Layden would be eight in February, and she passed away at the age of 4 months at Boston Children's Hospital right down the road. So I got in last night. And so it just feels super synchronistic and super powerful to be sharing this story in such close proximity to her tree because she drives everything that I do, you know, she drives everything that I do. And I know many people listening have a strong why and they have a strong purpose. And for me, it's my daughter. And she really, in my group journey, shifted my belief that you either are in business or you help people.

Right?

Like, I remember resenting business most of most of my life. Like it was like, oh, well, they're in business or they work in business. My culture friends would laugh at me because I would actually just say that, like, oh, they work in business. And for me, that was a dismissal and a limiting belief that if you're in business, you don't care about people, right? And I just wanted to help people. I went into education, I wanted to help, I wanted to help. I wanted to teach life lessons is what I wanted to do. And funny enough, after losing my daughter Layden and being in my grief journey, I learned that business is this beautiful tool, a beautiful tool to be able to actually have very authentic impact. And entrepreneurship has taught me more about life. Entrepreneurship and Grief have been my greatest life teachers. You know, forget what I've studied, forget my degrees, forget the trainings I've done, like, those have been my life teachers. So for me, four years ago yesterday, actually, I met my business partner. And at the time, I was life coaching, I was yoga instructing, I was giving juicing workshops and juicing workshops because my daughter died of a sick gut necrotizing enterocolitis. And so I began studying gut health, and in that journey, actually healed mine. I had been a chronic caffeine trugger medication taker, tums carrier acne medicine all the time. And what I learned was that through holistically healing my gut, my all of my health changed. And I haven't taken a pill in over six years now. And so I said to my business partner at the time, and she was my business partner then. She was the girl that I met, and we stayed connected. And I think it's really powerful for anyone listening to pay attention and to tune in to that intuitive voice, that inner knowing, because I just met her at a fitness class in Boston. She was the instructor as a student, and my brother puked in her class, and we kind of laughed and we hit it off and we stayed in touch, found her on social media, liked her vibe. She felt very real. And we got coffee a couple months later. And a couple months after that, I said to her, hey, I'm really going all in. I'm going to leave education. At this time, I was an athletic director, which I thought was my dream job. 300 people applied for was a huge stop in the state of Massachusetts, right outside of Boston. We were crushing it. We had won state championships. We were like in the Boston Herald for being one of the public schools to win a hockey championship, which is a huge deal here because the private schools, so things were, you know, we're cruising. And I had a proven track record of executing, but that really lost a lot of meaning after losing my daughter Layden. And I wasn't really interested in seeing state championships. I wasn't interested in. I didn't really feel it if a bus was late and somebody was upset or somebody wasn't, you know, playing in the position that they had. But the reality is that was my job to care about that stuff, and I just really no longer did. So I went in to explore entrepreneurship. I asked my business partner if she wanted to go with me and we could combine our niches. She was in fitness and nutrition. And she was like, yes, full body, yes. Just right away, no hesitation. I was like, really? She was like, yeah. And so we began building it out. And, you know, we did well. We did okay. We were working a lot. Now we both cared a lot about people and we both have really, really strong work ethics. So that got us by. But by getting us by, I mean, we generated about $4,000 in revenue in three months of work. When you're sharing that and valuing your time, you're not really, you're, you're really not going to be making a sustainable living. And I had to work through my belief that I could either care about people or I could build a business. And I realized that I could actually help a lot more people if I understood and mastered business. Because my goal was to have impact. My goal is to have impact. My goal is to help people. Well, I couldn't help a whole lot of people if I'm burned out, tired. And at this time, I was $100,000 in debt. Right? So we built out our business and really focused on not getting caught into a lot of the shiny objects that people look at, which are more followers. I had 1400 followers at the time. I still don't have a ton. It's not like I'm like 1400 followers and I have 1.4 million. Like, no. And not going to paid ads, not worrying about a perfect website. Our website's still subpar. And not like running to virtual assistants to be like, figure this out. Because I can't figure it out. And we just studied at the core the five aspects of building an online business and how to do so. And we were really humbly shared. Like, we built to a seven figure business in 13 months. Now we're talking $4,000 in three and 14 within 14 months, getting to seven figures. So that is now what we do full time, very organically. People were like, how did you do that? Because we are in a health space. If anyone here listening is a coach or is a mindset coach or a health coach or fitness coach, I don't like to make assumptions, but I am going to guess that you have at some point had this, this idea of, well, I can't do it. Everyone and their mother is doing this right now, right? And the thing is, is like, you're very authentic. You're authentic and what you bring is going to be an authentic touch to it. And there are billions of people in this world. None of us have time to serve billions of clients, right? You probably want 10, 15, 20, 25. So we really began focusing on that and helping people build up their business. And now we do that full time in 90 days. CEO, we've had over 300 clients through.

That's amazing. Yeah, I love that. So happy for you. What do you think? I mean, you alluded to the shiny objects, which I think are very alluring and what a lot of mainstream, I guess, people can talk about and then we can kind of get lost in those. And you talked about the five aspects of the business. Where do people, what do people not know? Business owners not know that you find shocking that they don't. And maybe because they never learned and they didn't ever had someone to mentor them or they never got outside of themselves and saw their blind spots. Where do most people not focus? That doesn't create a sustainable business. And we'll start there.

Okay, so five aspects of the business. You guys can write this one down. Product, operations, marketing, sales and finance. Now most people are taught to and are exposed to focusing on what I call or what we call the front end, right? Marketing and sales. How are you marketing it? What's the price? How much are you selling? Where I believe the growth happens is dialing in your product, operations and finance. Now finance is really your cash flow. We use the profit first method from Mike Michalowicz who created that. If you guys haven't checked him out, recommend he created. Yeah, great book, Great book. And is actually a mentor of ours. He's been a 90 day CEO. We've worked with him as a coach and a mentor. And that's basically learning how to not light your money on fire as an entrepreneur and not just like pay everyone else. Cross your fingers and hope that you have something left to take home for you and your family. Product and operations are a little bit more in depth.

Right.

There's a lot more moving parts to them and it's going to look different for everyone. But operations is your workflow that's going to be managing your time. It's going to be creating touch points to have data to look at your business so you're not making decisions based off of the I think I suck. I'm amazing, right? Like how many of you guys listening have woken up one day and been like, I am crushing it. I'm so, I'm so good. And then like by midday you're like, I suck. I'm terrible. Right? When we make decisions from that place, our business is going on that roller coaster. Operations not only helps you become a ninja with your time, so you're not getting up thinking, what do I actually have to do today? You just know you have a roadmap. But it also helps to not make decisions from a place of emotion. When you're an emotional being, that can be really hard. And I'm very, you know me, I'm a very emotional being. I'm a very passionate person. I love a lot, um, I have a lot of emotion and I had to learn that, that emotion. Actually it's irresponsible for me to run my business from that place of emotion. I'm making it about me. I have to run my business like an independent, like a child. And run it from a place of KPIs and data.

Right.

Workflow, feedback and bring my emotion to how I show up, maybe on social media, how I show up for my clients, how I show up for the community, new ideas. And product is an interesting one because, you know, we primarily work with coaches, consultants, service providers. So for them, product is what they do.

Right.

I'm a mindset coach. I'm a photographer.

Right.

I'm a fitness instructor.

Right.

I'm a macro coach, whatever it may be. Your product is a lot more than actually what you do. And this is, I think probably the biggest, I want to say mistake, but like misunderstanding.

Right.

In this space of entrepreneurship, which has changed rapidly in the last few years, I mean, I think we can all agree that the way that we consume information has changed a lot.

Right?

The way that we work has changed a lot in the last two years.

Yeah.

So product is understanding the length of your product, the price point, the deliverables, the transformation, referrals, client retention, having, you know, I won't go, go too much into it, but having more tiers and less lanes. So think skyscraper versus parking lot. And now I learned this not because I just intuitively knew it, I learned it because I face planted because I was a parking lot right. At like Mall of America with a zillion parking spots. Also I love Mall America. I grew up going there a lot.

It's fantastic.

I mean, who has a roller coaster in a mall? Like so great. Also so terrible for consumer America, but so great. But I was a parking lot at the Mall of America. Like my first business card. I've shared it with James and others. It was like, oh yeah, you want running? I can do that. Yeah, you want to laugh? I can do that. Juicing got you. Yoga got you. Right? And I just, I was so afraid of not being able to do something or who I might miss by niching down that I was completely under serving myself and my clients. And so I help people really dial in their product offerings and be clear on what they do and what makes them different so you don't have to worry about the billions of people out there. And that people are so clearly like, ah, yes, that's how I can work with James. Yes, that's how I can work with Melissa. And trusting that when you have tiered offers. So a skyscraper, different price points. Different price points. Points representing different levels of transformation. Not everybody is going to be transformed at, you know, the penthouse level in the beginning, you can still service people right from the ground floor. And so, you know, I think that James, to answer your question in a long winded way.

Yeah.

Is one of the most misunderstood things that is.

I love that structure. It's so helpful to kind of paint the picture of the overall business rather than the ones that we may be really good at. And. And then we just avoid the others or that we just don't know. And now we do know. So now we can put processes in place or hire people that can help us in those areas. Where is your favorite place to focus.

Product and operations? For sure. And you know, I mean, that's. I probably light up when I talk about it. It's what I do for our business. It's what I focus on. Coaching our clients. You know, much overseas marketing and sales. We've outsourced most of finance at this point, but I do. I'm the touch point for that. But product and operations, because that is where I think entrepreneurs discover the magic that they're doubting themselves.

Right.

Where they think, I can't do this. I'm not gonna make enough money. I don't have enough time.

Right.

How often do we hear that? I mean, operations will completely crush that limiting belief. I don't have enough time. Because you are going to know on a weekly, monthly, daily basis. Exactly. If you only have 10 minutes, what 10 minutes spent on your business will move the needle? Yeah, yeah.

That highest ROI activity, that's one of my favorite things to think about. It's like, okay, how can I. If I'm going to use this hour? How many things could I get? How many. How. What is the thing that can help me move the most things in this next timeframe? And thinking like that is challenging if you're not clear. And we have like a fascination with priorities, plural, which means there is no priority, which kind of creates more confusion and frustration. And then we spin our wheels and burn out and then can maybe even throw that on to other people that don't deserve it. And now we're not Even leading or being effective, which compounds the frustration. And then we just get caught in this downward spiral that's like, oh, my gosh, how did I even get here?

Yes. You know, 100%. And I think one of the biggest things. And obviously you and I really connected on the mindset side.

Right.

But entrepreneurship really challenges you to grow your mindset because you will have people that say no. If you have a 50% closing rate in a high ticket offer, you're doing awesome. Which means you have to be just as comfortable hearing no as hearing yes.

Right.

You will have the human experience of it feels really uncomfortable to do, you know, lead generation or to put something out there. So let me go work on the website.

Right.

It's the subconscious avoidance. It's a subconscious avoidance. So now operations really helps us to become clear on what we have to do. Often what we have to do is what we're avoiding because it's uncomfortable for us. And what tool do you rely on there? Well, your mindset.

Right.

And knowing that, you know, you get to.

Right.

You choose to. You are blessed to be able to do the thing that makes you uncomfortable. Because ultimately most people who offer some type of service or transformation in order to get their clients results, well, their clients are going to get uncomfortable. And now, wow. We get to practice that in our business too.

Mm.

The best teachers I've ever had are my relationship with Amanda. So intimate relationships. Being a father the last year and a half. Right. Just every day, new challenges. Having been responsible for another human being and then owning your own business, which is another. Another baby, basically, like as you alluded to earlier. And all of them, check me.

Yes.

Daily.

Yes.

You know, and if I. If me as the. The main role in all a lot of those scenarios, like if I don't learn how to find my center mentally, emotionally, have a system that I can go to or tools that I can leverage, then that emotion that you talked about earlier, I can get over. I can get swept up in it. And now I'm ineffective in all those areas. I'm yelling. I'm just not in a creative space to move the business forward. I'm not operating in the right mindset to deliver the service to my clients. And now I'm just like in that stuck state. So what are some strategies that you personally use to keep you centered even when things may be going all kinds of crazy. Crazy all around you?

Yeah. I mean, absolutely. And I just want to point out what you just shared about it. You know, your best teachers.

Right.

Your relationship, fatherhood, and entrepreneurship in all of these spaces, I think we have to remember it's not about us, right? We're growing a human, right? We are creating a relationship that's a partnership and an exchange. And entrepreneurship, it is service we're delivering to our clients, right? I care. One thing that didn't change about the version of me who started and now is like, I care so freaking much about people, right? But it's understanding business will grow that. So I just want to point that out. But, you know, tangible things. I think my number one tool is workflow, right? So we have an online platform. Every month, we set strategy in all five aspects of the business. Meaning we do this for ourselves, we do it for our clients. And the truth is, James, it doesn't matter if you are making $0, 0 pesos in Mexico now, guys. So I like the peso reference. And also I'm debt free and own a home, so it's so possible. All right. I just hear that because I want you to know it's so possible. Nothing's written in permanent marker. It's beautiful. But, you know, we set strategy for ourselves and for our clients in all five aspects of the business. So operations, sales, product marketing, financing. Whether that means, you know, you are opening an llc, whether that means you are implementing client contracts, whether that means you are posting on social media, X times, sending an email campaign, whatever it may be. It's super specific by date, right? So not just we'll see this all the time. I will post more on social media, right? I'm going to post more on social media in the month of February, whatever may be. I'm like, well, what does that mean? And how do we know if we achieved it, right? So I will post, you know, three, blah, blah, blah, by X date. I will do four of this by X date. I will send email campaign starting X date, getting super specific and clear. Now this creates your entire roadmap when you do this consistently. And as I was saying, it doesn't matter if you're making zero pesos, like zero dollars. I literally have people who will write something like, I will announce my offer.

Right?

They don't even. They haven't even announced their offer. They're generating $0. And we commit to a date. We have used this process. This process is what took us from $4,000 to seven figures. We continue to use it the same exact process as we did when we were generating $4,000 months. Now, that wouldn't even cover our operating expenses, right? Would be we'd be in a Lot of debt, right? Would be like, are we getting paid this month? Right? So it's the same exact process. And what I think is, so often we look for something, like, sexy or exciting or shiny or, like. I mean, we've had coaches tell us, well, you got to pay to play. You got to pay to play. And I'm like, I'm not paying to playing, and people don't want to play with me. I'm not paying. They're not my.

Right?

If someone's only interested in me because of the number of followers I have, or they're only interested in me because of. I mean, viewers can't see right now, but I didn't do my hair for those dreams, right? If they're only interested in me because, you know, my hair looks a certain way or my outfit looks a certain way, or my waist size is a certain number, like, they're not my people. And I think everyone listening, you have to be okay with knowing not everyone is your person.

It's one of the hardest things. Like, I have struggled with that for the longest time. And you hit. One of the fears is like, well, if I choose someone, then I have to, like, let go of all these other people that I like to enjoy. Help. I enjoy helping. Like, how. Talk to us a little bit more about crafting that person, right? Like, what are some questions that you've asked yourself that have helped you narrow that down? And if someone's struggling with that currently, like, oh, my gosh, I know I'm gifted at these things. I. I have these skills. I just don't know who to do it for. I could do it for this person. I could do it for that person. I really like doing it for that person. Like, yeah, what would you help someone there with? How would you.

This is, like, the best. This is like, the entire. One of the biggest parts of the foundation section of 90 day CEO. Because everyone comes in thinking that. Well, not everyone. That's a generalization. Most people come in thinking they know, but they're not clear, so they're very fuzzy. And you guys ask yourself, like, am I super clear?

Right?

If I'm kind of fuzzy, warm and fuzzy, I'm gonna get fuzzy results, okay? It's just law of attraction. It's okay. Like, it's not. It's not a weakness, right? But I can't tell you how many people come in and they say, I help, you know, women feel more confident and love life, Right? Or I help people feel like their most empowered self. And I'm like, well, what the fuck do you do?

Right?

Like, honestly, like, what the fuck? Like, do you help? And they're like, oh, well, you know, I typically work with people going through divorce and, okay, let's be specific, right? Or I help people in their fitness. Okay, how and what makes you, what makes you different. This is where it's not the billions of people out there that's the issue. It's the not being clear in the 10, 15, 20, 50 people that you help in a sea of billions of people that is the issue, right? So things that I do. Oh, I love this. I mean, so I love Venn diagrams. And if you guys don't know what a Venn diagram is, I'm going to tell you. You take one circle and you draw it and then you take another circle so those two overlap and then you take a third circle below. So now you almost have like an upside down triangle of circles and you have it. So those three circles merge. You can also Google Venn diagram. But right in those one circle skill set, one circle passion, and one circle surf, where these three things merge is going to be your zone of genius. And that's how you can best support. Now, I was so far in the serve space that I was only looking at what people wanted, not what I was actually passionate about, not what I'm really good at, right? I've cultivated over a decade of teaching, right? I got my master's in understanding how people learn the language. That's my skill set, right? A lot of what I teach in business, like, yeah, I have a very, very crafted method that we use, guys. We also didn't invent it. I've worked with a lot of coaches and teachers, right? But I'm really, really good at teaching, right? So how am I doing that? I'm passionate about helping people. Empowering, right? And then serving. I help entrepreneurs build their business. So write that down. That'll take a little bit of time. Another thing I say too is if you're envisioning the person that you're going to help, we say, okay, I want them to be more confident if we're watching them in a Netflix series. I used to say a movie, but then I got into Netflix. Vikings, James. You know Vikings guys. If you're not a Vikings fan, check it out. Also, February 20th or something. The next Viking series comes out. Your girl will be with popcorn waiting for this to come. I don't even watch tv. I never watch tv. Vikings has my soul. But if you are watching your client and Netflix, what are they doing as A result of not working with you. They are not walking around with a T shirt that says lacking confidence.

Right.

How if you're watching them, can you see that they're lacking confidence?

Right.

Are they people pleasing? Are they never saying no? Are they over committing? Are they going for the McDonald's drive thru because they're stuffing down their emotions?

Right.

Are they buying that Gucci bag and designer jeans to feel confident?

Right.

Are they sleeping around to get validation?

Right.

So you need to look at your person is going to be very different than my person, then James's person, then whoever each of us is going to be helping a certain person. So what are they actually doing if you're watching them on Netflix? And then one last thing, I'll share James. And then you know you've, you've heard a good amount of my stuff. So whatever you want. I'm totally transparent. I just know I'll. I could go on forever is that.

I'm loving it so far. Let's keep going.

Okay. You to get clear on like what makes you authentically, you don't think about how you think people perceive you. Ask people how they perceive you. Ask 10 people in your life to describe you in one word and one word only. No story attached to it.

Right?

Not. Well, you're nice because.

Right.

No story, no cheating and hybriding words. Which is totally what I would do.

Right.

I'd like hyphen things, one word. You will notice a pattern into how you are perceived and how you show up in this world. And go with it.

Right?

Go with it. Because people are taking away from you what is the most resonant that you put out there.

Right.

I probably put 15, 20 different energies, vibes, things out there and people are going to take away one main thing. So I can fight that or I could go with that. So that is just another thing I love. So what I just shared for you guys is really going to be working on who you support, what you're good at, what you actually do for them and your branding.

Yeah, that's beautiful. I love that exercise that you just said and I think I'm going to do that. I've done that in the past like a long time ago. But I'm going to do, I'm going to do that again. I'm curious how like would you suggest doing that multiple times over span of time? Because I mean people change and life changes and be interesting to see, you know, who you are before COVID and who you are post Covid. Right. As an example, I would Recommend doing.

All three of those.

Right.

Every six month or a year. Build it into your.

Build it into the quarterly reviews or half year reviews.

That would literally go into the operations section of your monthly strategy.

Right.

Do 10 words by X date. I mean, this is like the level of detail and attention I'm talking about when you're building your business. That is the difference. Not followers, not paid ads, not any of that. But yeah, I'd recommend it because energy is always in motion. So we are always evolving. And so therefore how we show up is always evolving. How we best serve is always evolving. If you've cultivated new skills and new skill sets, it's going to evolve the way in which you serve people. So yeah, I would definitely recommend doing it a couple times a year.

That's amazing. I know you have your master's in learning and how we learn as people. What are some really effective strategies that you use to learn faster or retain more or even strategies that have allowed you to teach better?

Yeah, so it's funny. Thank you for asking. This one is the recognition that people learn differently. Some people learn best. Some people are going to learn very well just by listening to this right now. Some people are going to re listen to it and want to take notes.

Right.

Some people might learn best in person or in visuals.

So understand, some people are probably like, man, I want the video of this too.

Yeah, yeah. And so recognizing that people learn differently, so that's something I've built into our course, is that, you know, whether it's written right, oral or video, people have different ways to learn. And that's something that's really important to me. We have what's called a web course now for those of you listening or maybe are into courses online or taking them or teaching them, a sequential course means that every person goes through every step in the same order. So every single person goes through step one and then through step two, and then through step three. A web course is really more like the person at the center and a web around them and you are pointing them to where they need to go next. So I, I personally prefer web courses because I don't think that any person is going to go through the same exact sequence. You know, when I was in health, I was the anti fad diet, you know, program. And I feel like now I'm the anti fad business. I just don't like fads. And a lot of the fad businesses will put you through the same exact thing.

Right?

Get your superpower statement down, go get your Instagram followers Go post. This is your pricing. You all use the exact same pricing, and this is how many followers you need. And this is the script for your sales calls.

Right?

And I like that. So that's something that's been very helpful for me, is to individualize it. I love analogies. Analogies, I think, make the unrelatable relatable.

Right?

And it's funny, one of my earlier memories, I was like 8 or 9 and my mom said to me, melissa, you are very good at using analogies. I've always loved connecting something that's hard to understand to make it easier to understand. And anybody can do that with analogies.

Right?

When I taught you guys lanes versus tiers of building out your product, that might have been like less tangible. But when I explained it parking lot versus a skyscraper, it might have become easier to access. And so that's something I do a lot for sure. Yeah. And I said the last thing is, you know, teachable moments and checks for understanding. These are like actually like, you know, education terms. But teachable moment is like when you take something on the spot. So for example, yesterday I was on a coaching call and one person was asking about, she actually sells product, which is a little bit more unique for us, but she sells clothing, sustainable clothing. And she was asking about running an event. And I started teaching it. But I reeled in the whole group and I explained to the whole group how this could apply to them. The exact same things I was teaching, whether they are in fitness, they were in mindset, they were in clothing. We have dating coach, right. We have got web designer, we have copywriters explaining to all of them how to successfully run an event that converts what I was teaching explained to all of them. So that's a teachable moment where you make it about more than actually answering the question, but you make it about something that can apply to the greater, the larger picture.

That is something that I love doing as well. Like in live events where someone will stand up and has a question in front of the audience and they're working through something very personal and very emotional, so that naturally is going to grab attention. But if someone who is facilitating that type of experience can make the person who's talking feel so heard and seen that you have that one on one connection, but also looping in everybody so they are equally benefiting from that interaction. Now you have group collective attention, which is like maximizing everyone's learning at the same time. So you're leveraging time more effectively. You're. And everyone's engaged. And so I'm always a fan of that. And to hear your example there, I think that that's beautiful. And you guys listening, if you're a leader of a team, really start practicing that. If someone has a question in a meeting or you're doing a brainstorming session and there's an opportunity for you to isolate an individual because of the. Whatever that content is. But also loop everybody in and make it relatable to them so you don't lose attention. And that's gonna, that's gonna skyrocket everybody's involvement, which is best case scenario, 100%.

And you know, I think very often we have these limiting beliefs, right? And these like, voices. And many oftentimes, like not saying we're egotistical, but they are ego driven voices, right? Because unless you're not human, you have an ego, right? So if you're human, hi, me too, right? We all have an ego voice. But that ego voice will say, well, I'm not. I won't get as much out of group, I won't learn as much. Or like, so and so, like they're wasting my time. That was me. When I first joined my first business coaching group program, I wanted to get on and off for my 10 minutes of support, and that was it. If I could go back, I'd shake that version of me. Because she missed so many opportunities to learn from other people, right? And when you hear other people talking and going through like it's your choice to learn, right? And you can learn such powerful things. Because the way I explain it, James, is that when I work with people, and we work with people one on one and in group, but we, all of our one on one clients are also in group as well. Because when we show up for one on one, we come with a list of questions of things that we know to ask, which means they're already on our radar. When we are open to the group, we are exposed to things that weren't ever even on our radar or we didn't think of, right?

Which is beautiful because it enhances our level of presence as a facilitator, right? Keeping us aware of what possibly could happen and how we can merge that with what we originally wanted to talk about or all this new data that we have exposure to can give birth to an idea that is way better than what we originally had intended. And the only way we were able to find it was because we were open to the fact that, that we weren't married to what we came in with, but are reading in real time. What the group needs and pivoting accordingly.

100%. And pivoting is the key to entrepreneurship.

Yes.

Right.

I always tell people, they're like, well, I need to have my website perfect. I gotta have my course done. And I'm like, you're gonna Change your course 87 times if you care about people. Because as people go through, you're going to be like, oh, shit, I could have included that. Right. I didn't have a, I didn't have the Venn diagram included in our course when we started, but I taught it and used it as an example enough that I was like, oh, you got to add this in.

Right.

So if you really care about people and giving them the highest level of support, you got to let go of perfectionism and this idea that you're going to have it all figured out before they join or start working with you. Because if you think you're going to have it all figured out, you're only thinking about you.

Right.

And that's a control voice. And that's okay. It's human. I wanted that too.

Right.

But we have to be open to the idea that people are going to come in and they're going to, they're going to be co creating with us, they're going to teach us. Your clients will teach you, right?

100%.

Yeah. I've learned so much from my clients.

Right.

And if you choose to be open to that, you can serve at a higher level. And to me, it just comes back to service. You guys, best marketing strategy right here. Service, client results.

That's speaks for itself.

Yeah.

And it helps you so much. Not that even that you're doing this for the, for that reason, but on the back end. And the raving fan that they've become is going to yield so much more for them and for you that it. No other strategy is better than that because of how you feel, knowing the impact that you are able to make and how that individual feels. Being seen, supported, heard, helped, and getting, gaining their transformation. Then what do they do? They talk to their closest people. Oh my gosh. Can you believe this? And then like, well, who helped you? Oh, well, Melissa did or well, James did. And now you have another opportunity to repeat that process again. And that's how it unfolds. Like, that's literally how my business has grown the way it has.

Yeah. I mean, James, I was like, how do I work with you?

Right?

Like, literally, like, I mean, that's what you want, but that's because I. You provided such service.

Right.

Just authentically no attachment to outcome, Right? And I was able to say, like, well, how do I work with you?

Right?

And that's how 90 Day has grown. I mean, we actually, ironically, we tried paid ads, like, because it was like, well, like, we've really grown a lot. We can take on more capacity. Like, let's just try it. It didn't work. And we were like, oh, my God, it's so perfect. Like, we just. We didn't really study it, whatever, but we've grown everything organically, truly. Yeah, when we tried, it didn't work. It just. The ad got shut down or whatever. And, like, doesn't really matter. But we laughed and we were like, that's because it's not in alignment with our brand. And the universe was, like, reminding us of that. Like, that's not a. Like this on us, you know, it's so true.

Like, I can think of a couple of different examples. One financial example, and then one, like, partner example. You know, one is, I did a mastermind and with this company that I recently connected with, and it was like a full two and a half day thing. And it was just their leaders of the company. And my intention was like, okay, how can I serve them so powerfully that they never forget what they're about to go through? And I had to get to know each individual leader to craft such a customized experience that they felt seen from the moment I talked to them pre event and then to the ceremony where we left. And I got texts within the next 30 days, like, I've made $150,000 in commission. I've rose, risen up in my level. I've gotten promoted. Like, and those things, I'm like, oh, my gosh, yes, this is beautiful, right? Or people who are, like, confronting things and now welcoming a partner into their life. And now these people are getting married. And it's just. Those are things I never thought would happen. Going into it, it was just, how can I find where the block is? Massage that out and help you see something that you currently aren't seeing. And then here's how to keep it up, right? And then when you operate like that, quote, unquote, miracles happen. Like, people hear that kind of money and they're like, what? You can do that? I'm like, yeah, yes, you can. Oh, I can find someone that fast?

Yes, yes.

You know, like, you just. We have to rewire our minds to what is possible, but that takes a willingness to release attachment to what you think is possible, who you think you are, all the things that you currently have in your life and be open to things that you don't know, which is very vulnerable place to be. But it's the essential breeding ground for growth.

Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yes. A hundred times. And the second that you think you are at the finish line for understanding how to grow your business or how to improve your mindset, you're at the start, Right? Because it's never done. I mean, look, I just flew to Boston from Austin because I spent 34 hours of the last three days, right, at a development workshop with my business partner because we're that committed, right? I'm like, james, how can I work with you? Like, challenge me, Level me up, right? I'm certified. I got the certifications, right. In nlp. My bachelor's is in psychology. I've studied language. Like, yeah, I could check all the boxes and say I'm done. But, like, I know I'm so far from being done, and I know I can only get so far on my own, right? And I think, like, that's where, whether it's in your business or fatherhood or your relationships, that beautiful, humbling ego work, right? And the ego work, the ego voice will tell you you need more followers, you need a perfect website. You need this and that. And I'm telling you, you don't.

Right?

The ego voice will tell you you don't need to coach, you don't need mentors, you don't need communities. I'm telling you, if you truly want to optimize, you do.

Yeah. And for those listening, too, like, this was a big one for me. A lot of the clients that I coach make more money than I do. Like, there's one, I'm thinking in particular, that makes 25 times more than I make.

Holy cow.

And when I realized that, I'm like. Part of me was like, how can I coach you? You know? And then I had to, like, quickly challenge that because it's like, well, yeah, they may be operating at a higher level with you in that area, but there's other areas that you are 25 times better than them at that. You help them in those areas. Now they skyrocket even more. So I think a lot of people can associate money to, like, hierarchy, you know, and we can talk ourselves out of providing services that we can deliver but won't deliver when we create the narrative that we're not worthy or they're so much better or what could I possibly teach them? And that goes back to you, what you were saying earlier with being clear on what you provide. Like, yeah, they may have more money, but they don't necessarily have peace of mind, or they don't know how to build relationships, or they don't know how to find this one kink in the business that's actually preventing them from helping other people that they work with make more money or if that's even their goal. You know what I mean? So I just wanted to throw that out there because I know I've felt that many times and I have had to learn to develop that awareness and catch myself, or else I'm not going to be able to serve powerfully the.

Way I want to 100%. And I love that you use the word hierarchy because we create these falsified hierarchies right in our minds. And it's our way of trying to categorize and make sense of the world and ourselves. But like, it's not a hierarchy, you know, but it's training and people are writing down everything that they wanted, right? And we're talking publishing books, we're talking, you know, podcasts, whatever, like more time or money, more this, more that. Cars, houses. But then we're asked, well, how do you want to feel? And what happens is we've attached feeling a certain way to these tangible things. We're not actually seeking these tangible things. We're seeking the feelings that we've attached to them. So we can have all these things in a quote unquote hierarchy. But if we're not even feeling the things we are seeking, which, spoiler alert, don't live in that car, right? Then what is successful?

Yeah, and another thing like, thank you. What is success? That question is one of my favorite questions and it's also very challenging question to answer because there can be so many things. But like when you find your definition of success, your definition, not your parents, not your, not the society, not the people that you hang out with, yours, that's when you truly start winning. Because then it's like you attach your own uniqueness to your own unique definition that then starts creating your own unique reality that allows you to feel the most fulfilled. And when you're there, that's when you produce the best quality work or you find the best quality relationships. And that's actually what scales things fast. And you can make better impact because you're in alignment a majority of the time.

Yeah, I remember what you said to me. Do you remember? I was like, james, I don't care. I'm totally transparent. I was like, james, like, I'm calling in my woke athlete, right? Like, you know, I. After my daughter, her father and I split. That was a seven year relationship, right? And I have not dated again. And I'm. I'm so ready and excited for partnership, right? And I was like, James, like I'm calling on my woke athlete. And I also want to like write book and I want to speak more. I want to do this, this and that. And you were like, melissa, operate at your highest frequency, your highest level of creative expression. If that's writing and speaking more like just worry about that and your mobile Catholic right is going to find me, right? Or be called in as I am choosing. Choosing right, that's an important word for everyone. Choosing to operate at my highest level. Because you guys, I want to let you know, like I'm sitting here right now running a seven figure business. Look, that's not. Doesn't bring my happiness, right? Like I love what I do because I help other people. It's a ripple effect, right? But you know, I'm in Boston overlooking my daughter's tree. But there was a time seven years ago where I truly didn't want to live, Jane. Like I don't want to live. I wasn't happy. I was very in debt. And the debt was just a reflection of my emptiness inside.

Right?

Truly had nothing to do with anything else other than my own emptiness. And I want you to know that if we look for the paycheck, we look for the car, we look for this or that to bring us the happiness we are going to be looking our whole lives. And I realized through losing my daughter, Layden, if I attached my happiness to circumstance, which was being a mom, my life was done, right? She's gone. So I had to choose. And that's why this like really inspired this. I know I just detoured a little bit. I apologize, but.

No, no, keep going.

It really inspired this deeper understanding that we cannot hand our power away and attach happiness and our worthiness to circumstances. The circumstances that we're all seeking, that we want in order to feel happier, will come when we attach our worthiness and our happiness to something deeper and inner. And my daughter Laden, that was the greatest gift she gave me because I have never felt more pain in my entire life. Like I'm, I'm like welling up with emotion thinking about it. I have never felt more pain in my entire life. I have never cried harder in my entire life. And I continue to cry eight years later because I miss her every freaking day. I want her back. I don't have that choice. So I had the choice of saying all right, life. Guess I won't be happy for the rest of you, right? Or. What she inspired me to do was to understand that happiness and fulfillment and joy is so much deeper. Because I can also say, and I have a feeling of mom guilt saying this. I've actually experienced more joy and happiness since losing her, because now I understand what it actually means. I didn't know before. I didn't know. Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you. Sorry. I know. We just. We just took it.

Hey. It needed to be said, and it was said beautifully. It reminds me of a quote that I heard today, actually, from a book called fifteen Conscious Leader.

The fifteen Something of Conscious Leadership.

Yeah. Yeah. I had. Someone had sent it to me, and so I had an audiobook and I was almost done with it, so I just listened to the end of it. And one of the quotes was saying that life first tickles you, then it pushes you, then it slaps you. And if we can listen to the tickle, then it doesn't need to be a push or a slap, you know? And how many times have we been moving too fast or how many times have we been taking on too much that we're distracted and not listening to the tickles? And then we get shoved and we're like, what was that? And you're like, that's weird. Must have been a one time thing. And then all of a sudden we miss that second calling and then boom, slap over across the face. And. And that can show up as getting fired. That can show up as losing a client. That can show up as you losing your business. That can show up as a divorce. It can show up in a lot of different ways. And when you can lean in and grab those. Those lessons, life rewards you for that.

100%. Yeah. I was. I was not. I was not paying attention to the tickles.

Right.

I wasn't.

And a lot of I've. Those tickles have become little, like, itches. And I'm like, ah, what's.

All right. It's annoying, right?

Right? Yeah. Melissa, thank you for your spirit. Thank you for your wisdom. Thank you for believing in yourself enough to take a chance and create this. Because I know it wasn't easy and it took a lot of courage, but because you did, the lives that you've changed are going to last forever. Like, that's legacy, that's impact, and that's something that no one can ever take away from you. And Layden would definitely be proud of her mother and who she's become and who she continues to be. So thank you for being an example of someone who's rooted deeply in service, who is committed to the ever evolving growth path that we're all on, and for being a voice, for what it's like to go through that journey so that anyone listening can extract what you're saying, apply it to their situation, and hopefully avoid pitfalls they don't need to fall in.

Yeah. Yes. Let's. Let's save the pitfalls for the ones we're meant to fall in. Not. Thank you so much. I have no doubt my mind that my daughter Leland led me to the path and the journey that I'm on that aligned ours. I'm forever grateful for that. And thank you everyone here for tuning in, because what I share is really just channeling what I've learned from my daughter, so I get to share her light. And that means more than anything.

So, last thing. How can they. What's the best place to get ahold of you and just drop your deets?

Yeah, check me out on Instagram. Remember, I don't have 1.4 million followers because that's not my business model. No, I'd love to connect with you. You can find me 90day CEO on Instagram or Mindset. And Malbec is my personal, which I. I am in the phase of changing that. So I am taking. If anything you heard inspired you guys today, that would be a great name. I am taking applications, so feel free to send that. But Mindset in my mindset is Malbec from.

From the wine. Is that why.

Yeah, yeah, It's Argentinian. It's my favorite red wine.

Yeah, it's. It's a great wine. Do you. So what's his name? I'm trying to blank. I'm trying to blank. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle something. He was on the podcast. He. It'll come to me. But he is an inspiring person. He came over to the house, actually, and he. He had lost his limbs. I think he was. Lost his limbs, or he's born without limbs, and he's climbed, like, some of the highest mountaintops, and he's been on so many people's podcasts, and just an incredible human being, he was telling me the story behind a Malbec grape and how it was like the throwaway grape in. In the European culture. And then the Argentinians found the grape and because it implanted it in their kind of agriculture, their. Their environment, and it grew beautifully, and it actually became like one of their favorite wines. And so the story theme was like, throwaway grape comes like underdog story and triumph.

Love it. It's like, subconsciously. That must be why that's so clearly always been my favorite red wine. Like, I love the underdog story, and I love helping people see if they don't thrive in one environment, that doesn't mean they're not going to thrive in another.

Boom, boom. Thank you. All right, everybody, we'll talk to you later. Share this episode with whoever you think would resonate with it and go out there and be your own 1%. Much love.

SA.