48: Manifest Magic into 2020

Hello, friends, and welcome to Grief Guts and Green Smoothies. I am your host, Melissa Dugalecki, and I am so excited to be here with you all to chat about ways in which we can all get through different adversities, challenges and loss, and how getting outside of our comfort zone and maybe having a green smoothie or two can help us do so. We will cover different topics, ranging from interviews to recipes, to sharing my own stories of my grief journey and the loss of my daughter, Layden. And I'm honored to be able to share her light in hopes of helping you spread yours. Now, let's dive in. Have you ever wondered what manifestation is? Like, does it sound a little woo woo? Does it sound like a little out of reach? Or maybe it sounds a lot like goal setting? If so, I totally get it. That was me. I didn't understand manifesting. I was a very goal oriented, type a grinder that thought if you want something, you just get it. And if you can't figure out how to get it, you try harder. And if you still can't figure it out, you try even harder, right? You grind and you grind and you grind until you got it. And the truth is, since I've learned how to incorporate manifesting with my goal setting, right, because I'm still going to have that grinder in me. But if I can harness it to benefit, right, to learn and to be more productive by complementing goal setting with manifesting, it's totally changed my life. It's understanding what you put out there. So much of what we talk about on this podcast, Law of Attraction, using energy, high vibes, low vibes, all of that. So in this episode, as we prepare not only for a new year, but a new decade. Yes, a new decade. I am going to teach you all about manifesting. How it is different from goal setting, how you can incorporate it into your life so that you can manifest your way through 2020 and really invite in all those dreams and desires that you are so darn worthy of. So let's dive in. All right, everybody, we are talking all things manifesting. And manifesting can be a really new concept for many, and it's one that we're not necessarily exposed to at a younger age. And it's often confused with goal setting. So we're going to take you through that. But as we go through right now, get comfortable, like, grab your journal, grab a pen, take notes and really open up. Like, open up your mind. Just open up to, like a new way of thinking. Because the bottom line is, if we think the way we've always thought we're going to get the results we've always gotten, right? So we've got to change the way we think, we've got to change the way we feel to experience different results and to feel better. So this is a big step in doing it. Get ready, here we go. So one of the most common things is that we confuse goal setting and manifesting. So before we even get into what manifesting is, I want to tease it out from goal setting. So goal setting is very step oriented. It's got a clear timeline. You usually put a deadline for when it's going to be done. Manifesting is very energy oriented. So your internal energy, how are you showing up, how are you aligning it, what are you attracting? It's all about alignment versus a timeline. In goal setting there's a lot of external steps. So what things we need to do externally and manifesting is internally. What do we have to do internally? Goal setting draws in the law of action. Manifesting draws in the law of attraction, meaning that what you put out there you're going to receive. What you put out there you're gonna get back. And so if that feels like a little woo woo, I'll get more into that. Don't you worry. The future tense goal setting is like, I'm going to do this by this date. Manifesting, we speak in the present tense and that's because the law of attraction doesn't. It responds to whatever you put out there. So if we put out there future tense, well, what you're looking to manifest is going to stay in the future tense. In goal setting, you're working towards something clear with an action plan. In manifesting, you're cultivating something within your own energy to attract and align with what you desire. So again, in goal setting you've got a clear action plan and manifesting is a lot more trust. It's how you're aligning your energy. For example, goal setting, I will get a New job by January 18, 2020 that pays a salary that is twice what I make now. So we've got the new job, we've got the deadline, and we've got the measurable objective of pay manifesting. I work in a job that I love. It's aligned with my skill set and I'm valued for my time earning twice what I did before. Now sometimes when you manifest you can use specific numbers, but you're not necessarily working towards that with like, you know, you're not saying I'm gonna make $4,000, you know, a month. And that'll be $1,000 a week, and that'll be $500 every three and a half days. You're not going there, but you can have something such as manifesting as like I X amount in my bank account. And I'm joyous and I'm relieved. All right, so this is the difference between goal setting and manifesting. Goal setting way more tangible. Manifesting way more woo woo. Both important. It's not one or the other, it's. And so just to go further into the law of attraction, the Law of Attraction, if you haven't read the book the Secret, it talks a lot about it. Gabby Bernstein has some books that talk about it. A lot of great resources out there. But the Law of Attraction draws on that idea of what we cultivate within. We're going to attract. So have you ever been around somebody who, you know, they come walking into the office or into the room or the party or whatever it is, and they're just like a downer. Like you don't know what it is, but their energy is just a downer. Well, now all of a sudden you feel drawn down. That's the law of attraction. Now, on the other hand, have you ever been around someone who's like, their energy is contagious. You just, you light up around them. Well, law of attraction, what they are emitting, they're attracting back. They're pulling it out of you. And so this idea that whatever, however we align our energy, right. It's all about personal responsibility and understanding our energy. I gotta tell you, we are so frequently exhausted unnecessarily because we're drained, right? Because we're not using our energy well, because we're just depleting it in ways and we're forcing it in ways. So Law of Attraction really gives us a lot more energy because we understand how we're using it. And so you cultivate something inside of you and now you're attracting that back. And now it happens, right? You attract it back. You've got it inside of you now. It grows. Now we've got this whole idea of momentum. So momentum is huge in energy work and in Law of attraction work. Okay? Law of attraction, we are open, we are aligning. We are attracting what we want in this world. And we're doing so without, like, closing up on it. We'll get into that more, don't you worry. But when we talk about attracting, we are constantly. So you talk about that person who walks into the office and they're like that, right? That Debbie Downer, you talking to that person who lights you up, they are not right or wrong. They're not good or bad. They're vibrating at different frequencies. So now every thing that we vibrate, like every. Every energy that vibrates has a different frequency. And the reality is it's not good, it's not bad, it's not right or not. It's not wrong. It is human to feel shame. Shame has a low frequency. It is human to feel anger. Anger has a low frequency. Okay. It's also human to feel connection that has a high frequency. It's also human to feel spaciousness that has a high frequency. And so it's not, as you go through this, it's not that we don't ever experience a low vibration, a low frequency. It's that we, one, we don't make decisions from those places. We do not. We buy ourselves time. We wait for more clarity. Or two, we don't have conversations from those places. We just don't. They are not going to go well. If we can't grow in these places, why would we have a daily, difficult conversation? It's not that we don't have any conversation, right. That we don't have a difficult or important one. Sometimes your conversation might be processing it, it might be letting it out, it might be releasing it. So we certainly don't want to hide these low vibes when we experience them, but we do not want to make a decision. And this is where people often exhaust themselves. They make decisions out of fear, they make decisions out of worry or shame or guilt. And that's like bringing them down. And now we're building momentum, going down, and that's very draining and suffocating, and that's really hard. So as we move through, you're going to work every day to align your energy in a place of high vibration. And if you can't get there, that's okay. We're just not going to make any major decisions. We're not going to have any big conversations on those days. And at some points it's just hours, half days, full days, some days it's weeks, right? And so that's all part of what we work through. This is all a big part of manifesting. This is all building you up to manifesting. So we've teased out goal setting versus manifesting. You are now understanding energy, high vibes, low vibes. And this is like, this is it. This is the bread and butter. This is the foundation. Understanding high and low vibes, right? Understanding that we're going to experience all of them. It's part of our human experience. It's actually a gift. Being able to understand that even anger can be a gift sometimes. Like, wow, like, you're gonna, you're gonna go far once you get that. And then knowing that when we're in these places, we just don't make decisions that are big or have conversations that have importance. Now, in Law of Attraction and in your manifestation work, you're going to be aligning your energy to be on this high vibe side. Because now you're opening up to opportunity. If we walk around blaming all the time, we're literally energetically close up, like shoulders hunched, right? And with that, we miss all the things that we could be open to. And so in your daily manifestation work, it's every day becoming clear on, like, how do I need to align my energy to grow? How do I need to align my energy to move forward today? Okay, so manifesting, when you manifest, you want to think about what do you want your life to look like in 30, 60, 90 days. Now, don't limit yourself to, oh, that'll never happen. So I'm not going to put it in there because that's the beauty of manifesting. We throw stuff out there that feels really good and maybe a little bit scary. So if it feels really good and maybe a little bit scary, like, you're in the right place. Now you want to pick one thing, and I share this a lot in my coaching. I'll be totally honest about it. When I first started manifesting, I did not understand. Probably not going to be shocking as very type A intense. Go, go, go. Grind, grind, grind. Force, force, force. There is a way or you're not trying hard enough. Right? That was my mo. I didn't understand why I couldn't do one manifestation for finances. I couldn't do one manifestation for fitness. I couldn't do one manifestation for health. I couldn't do one for my relationship. Like, why can't I? That's very efficient to me. It's actually not. We cannot multitask in life. We cannot multitask in manifestation. If we scatter what we're putting out there, we're going to get back scattered results. If we're half in on what we put out there, we're going to get half in results back. So this is something like you're putting out there. You're all in, you're open to it, you're committed, like, you're showing up, you're aligning your energy every day for this to be possible. So when you manifest like you're shooting for the moon. On your way there, you're going to pick up a lot of stars. Because when you start aligning your energy in an open way that is able to receive gifts and opportunity and growth and all the things that you want from what you're manifesting, you're going to get a lot of wins along the way, which is pretty amazing when completing your daily manifestation. So when you do your daily manifestation, there's a circle in the center. Now, the circle in the center stays the same. That's going to stay the same every day. And that is because we don't abandon track on our manifestation. Right? We trust. We have patience. The other part of the circle is how it's going to make you feel. And so not only what are you going to achieve, but how is it going to make you feel? Now, what's outside of the circle needs to change every day, and that's bringing awareness. If it doesn't change every day, we're not aware because every day we wake up feeling a little bit different. So am I going to need trust one day? Am I going to need passion one day? Am I going to need compassion one day? Am I going to need patience, inspiration, motivation? I got to look at my day and be like, what's going on today? And what do I need to stay open to my manifestation? You got to be specific. So instead of saying, I'm grateful for my mom, it's, I'm grateful for the great conversation my mom and I had last night, or I'm grateful for food. I'm grateful for the amazing meal I'm going to have at lunch today, or I'm grateful for the wonderful breakfast I enjoyed last weekend. Be specific. When we're not specific in our gratefulness, it's, like, vague. And we want to amplify our gratitude. And so we've got to be specific. Now, it's important to know we do manifestation work in the morning because we are aligning our energy. And so if the purpose of aligning our energy is to set up our day to prepare, we want to do it in the morning now, at night, sure. Better than not at all. If you work night shifts, you are going to be a little bit different, Right? But how are you going to align your energy for what you need to accomplish each day? And that's what you're doing here. And every time you think about what you don't want to happen, change that to what you do want to happen. That's a huge mistake in manifesting Very often you think, I don't want this to happen, so I want to manifest that I never feel this way. Well, the law of attraction, it doesn't know negatives. So if it doesn't know negatives, it doesn't hear the word no, never. So instead of saying, I don't ever want to feel this way again, it's like, basically you're saying, I always want to feel this way, right? Or I don't want something to happen. It's I want something to happen. So staying in the affirmative, staying in the positive. And then keep an open heart, right? Be open. Be open to signs. A lot of people experience signs in this. You know, weeks down after manifesting and becoming deeper in their work, they'll experience signs. Keep an open heart to what's possible. Keep an open heart to being compassionate. If, like, we miss a day, we miss a couple days. We have a few days in low vibes, like, it's ok. That's all part of this. There is zero expectation to go through the rest of your life in high vibes, all right? It's aligning ourselves there as much as we can and letting it be okay when we can't get there. So when we manifest, we often teach and coach and explain it. Or I do. Like you're ordering at a restaurant, so. So I want to help show you some of these concepts through this. So here we got our person here ordering. So I'll have the best thing on your menu. So you write your manifestation. I want the best life. I want happiness. What does that mean? So the server doesn't know what that means. So they're going to go, and I don't know, maybe that server loves paella. Maybe someone loves salad, like a good salad. Or maybe cake, saying, I'll have the best thing on your menu. Or a version of that. Your manifestation isn't going to work, right? You need to throw out there exactly what you want. So first thing is to be clear on what you want. Okay, now we try ordering again. I'll have the chicken. You can see here we've got an actual whole roasted chicken. We've got a living, live chicken. And then we've got a meal with chicken and rice and veggies, right? That's not specific. So when we say, like, I want to generate, I want wealth, like, that's not specific. So we gotta be specific. Refraining from negatives. I don't want anything heavy. So this draws on what I just spoke about, that the universe doesn't know negatives. So instead of Saying, I don't want anything heavy. Well, what the universe hears is I want everything heavy. So we got steak and fries. We got chicken, fried eggs, some cheesy rice. I don't even know. Burger, fries, soda. Bottom line, when you put out there what you don't want, you're going to get it. Have you ever had that feeling where you're like, I knew this was going to happen, right? You've been thinking about it, like, when is this going to happen? When is this going to happen? This is going to go wrong. This is going to go wrong. Then it happens. You're like, aha, I knew it. Well, congratulations. You just manifested that. All right, so let's stop manifesting the things that we don't want to happen and really become committed to manifesting the things that we do want to happen and with specificity and clarity. Okay, in this last example here, ask for exactly what you want. So here we have. I'll have one chicken taco with a side garden salad and extra guacamole, please. This is definitely my meal. Manifestation. Maybe shrimp. But you see the difference. It's really specific. Now, the universe is like, oh, I know what they want. I got this. All right, here you go. Now, it's impossible to be clear to the universe if you're not clear within. And once you're clear within, you can put it out there. Now, perhaps you're manifesting clarity. And that's okay. That's something we can work on as well. All right, your actual manifestation sheet. So this is the phase one variation. You'll fill this out the entire time. You're going to add to it as you go along. But to start my goal, my manifestation, how you're going to feel when you achieve your manifestation. So this started as goal because it was too hard of a concept to teach. And then it is manifestation. So think of how we swapped from what your goal is to manifesting. So we are finally manifesting. So this is your manifestation sheet. And you are going to write your manifestation in the circle every day, right here, whatever that may be, and next to it, how you're going to feel when it presents or arrives. So when you've manifested this, when this enters your life, how are you going to feel? Now, this can change very slightly day to day, but it's probably not going to. So some days, like you might wake up and achieving that manifestation might feel like a relief. So write that. Some days that manifestation might feel exciting. So write that. It could be both. This will never, ever, ever, ever, ever change. Until you've either manifested it or decided that manifestation doesn't serve you well, how you're going to feel is going to be 99% the same every day outside here will change every single day. So you want to get up and say, what vibes? So pull out your Bible. What vibes do I need to align with to remain open to my manifestation? Because if I'm feeling pretty pissed off right now, I'm not going to be open to whatever I'm manifesting, right? So if I'm feeling pissed off, then I'm. I might need some compassion or patience. I might need some forgiveness. If I'm feeling scared, I might need some trust. If I'm feeling impatient, I might need some patience. So that's where you get up and you're like, ooh, how am I doing? What do I need? I would pick two to three here. Two to three. Three things you're grateful for. This should be specific. As I explained. So not I'm grateful I have a job. I'm grateful that I was able to do this presentation at my job that I love. Grateful for. So and so at my work that had a really great meeting or said something really kind, I will create new moments. So this is important and these are hard because typically, like, we are taught to put ourselves last. But the thing is, when we put ourselves last, we are like constantly withdrawing, withdrawing, withdrawing. And then without deposits, we're bouncing checks. We got nothing to give energetically. So me moments are simple. We are not thinking massive spa days. We're not thinking full days off at work. We're not thinking white ropes. I mean, if you can do any of that, great. A me moment can be like, I'm going to take a shower and dry my hair and I'm not going to think about anything work related, kid related, stress related. I'm just going to clear my mind during that time of taking a shower. Maybe blow drying your hair is a me moment. Maybe it's sipping your coffee, your matcha, your tea, whatever it is, quietly, with gratitude and, and letting everything else wait. Maybe it's a dance party in the car. Maybe it's silent time in the car. How can you create a couple of me moments every day? We're talking literally a minute to ten minutes. That's it. When we start doing this, you're gonna be making deposits, Deposits. And now you have so much more to give. So me moments are actually selfless. And then the last thing, these are common blocks, confusion, you don't really know what you want. Fear I don't think I can do it. Vague. I think I kind of want this feeling unworthy. Like, I'm not. Am I actually worthy of this? Because energetically, if you don't believe in your worth, that's going to come through. Belief that I should want that. I'm going to manifest it. I don't actually want it writing it down because it sounds good or it looks good or you think you should have it, not it. Worry about getting it and then being disappointed or not still fully happy. That's a big one. So worry about manifesting it and then being like. A lot of times people don't go for it because they're like, what if it doesn't work? Then what? Then what do I do? At least when something's there, right? We know like, well, once I get there, I'll be happy. And seeing once I get there, then I'll be happy. Can offer relief. But we don't actually want to get there because what if it doesn't work? Right? That's a big one. Control. Like, I need it to go a certain way, right? Need to make $500 every three and a half days and divide that by negative focus. Saying what we don't want, right? Saying what we don't ever want to happen. Not making space for it. So again, not opening up, not aligning, not taking mean moments, not listening to signs and noticing them. Lack of consistency. So if we're not consistent, we can't expect consistent feedback, right? Consistent results. Squeezing it too tightly. So I would say it's like if we have a chokehold on what we want, like, I want this now. Not gonna grow. We're like literally suffocating it. And when we suffocate it, it's not gonna have room to breathe. So just like, we put it out there, right? And we just let it grow. We let it grow. It's like that nagging from you, okay, you're gonna come over? You gonna come to this party? Are you gonna come to that? They ask you and you're not sure. You got some stuff going on, you're working on it. You haven't got back to them, like, well, you gonna come? Are you gonna come? Are you gonna come? When are you gonna let me know? Right? That's like. That makes. That's like, oh, right. And so where are we squeezing our manifestation too tightly? A lack of trust, either in ourselves or in the universe. And being close to possibility. And that could come back to trust or worthiness, whatever, many other things, but close to possibility. Like I'm going to write it down, but it's not really possible, right? If you write it down, you don't really think it's possible. Not going to happen. Because the law of attraction, what you're vibrating is way stronger than what you're writing. Okay, write that down, everybody. What you're vibrating is way stronger than what you're writing down now. So we want to write down something that we want to cultivate within, but we've got to put our energy behind it and feel it. So that is your how to on manifesting. Really excited to be able to share and dive in on this. It's huge. It's a game changer. It doesn't replace goal setting, it doesn't replace journaling, but holy cow, can this have massive, powerful impact on your life? So let's go. I hope that was helpful. I could go on and on about manifesting for days if you couldn't tell. There's so much to it. And in truth, it wasn't something that I did until after losing Layden. I didn't understand it. And after losing Laden, really becoming aware of my energy and noticing that the way that I aligned my energy impacted each hour and each day. And so that's what, you know, like everything we talk about here, it comes back to things I've learned from Layden. So I'm so grateful to be able to share this gift of manifesting that I learned through Layden with all of you and I hope that it helps you in your journeys. If you have questions on it, please shoot me a dm. You can find me on Instagram. That's gut G U T F the letter N. Greet, guts and grief. You can find me there. Shoot me a message. Head to the website griefandguts.com shoot me an email. I'd be happy to provide you resources. I really just want to help each and every one of you grow and I so appreciate the way that you tune in here and share your feedback. And with that, if you are inclined, it would be so appreciated for you to rate or review the podcast on itunes or Spotify only so that this work can grow. That's why it's important. The more that we rate and review and grow it, the more it's going to get out there to other people and the more lives we can touch. And for me, the more people that are going to feel the bright light of Laden. So thank you so much. Until next time.