51: 5 Super Quick Steps To A Superb Year

Hello, friends, and welcome to Grief Guts and Green Smoothies. I am your host, Melissa Dugalecki, and I am so excited to be here with you all to chat about ways in which we can all get through different adversities, challenges, and loss, and how getting outside of our comfort zone and maybe having a green smoothie or two can help us do so. We will cover different topics, ranging from interviews to recipes to sharing my own stories of my grief journey and the loss of my daughter, Layden. And I'm honored to be able to share her light in hopes of helping you spread yours. Now, let's dive in. Happy New Year, everybody. Welcome. My name is Melissa Dugalecki. I am your host of Grief Guts and Green Smoothies. And on today's episode, I am going to share with you five things you can do today that are going to set you up for a more successful, more fulfilling, enjoyable, exciting, and weightless year. Right? Just that idea of weightlessness. How good does that feel? And the best thing is that these are easy to do. You can do them on your own, and they're free. So let's get right onto it. So those of you who follow along with the work that I do, you know that I really don't believe in New Year's resolutions. I am a big person around setting intentions, around being intentional about the way we use energy in our action. But I think resolutions can actually feed that lack of. That lapse of intention because we get so focused on the end, we get so focused on the outcome that one, we don't leave any space for what's possible, and two, we create this massive pressure valve. Like, it's like we're putting all of this pressure on something must happen for us to be successful and for us to be happy. And that really, in my opinion, displays a lack of trust in the universe. Like, it. It almost says to the universe, like, I don't trust that you have something great in store for me. So I'm going to determine what's great that's in store for me, and I'm going to go after it, and I'm going to focus only on that. Now, of course, there's all sorts of levels and gray, and you can have different areas of that. But for me, what has really changed is being more intentional. And I used to set resolutions right, and it was every year, I'm gonna weigh this amount. I'll have this much in my bank account, and I'm gonna travel here and there, and this is what my relationship will look like. And all those things Right. And I was. I was clinging right, to an energy sense, to an energetic sense, to the idea of control. The idea of control. And I was really not looking at the energy underneath all the things that I wanted. And Layden forced me to do that. After losing her, it was like I didn't care how much money was in my bank account. I didn't care what that number on the scale said. Like, what did I need? Like, how was I possibly going to move forward in life? And this is when I really began my deep dive in my energy work and understanding energy, vibrations and the law of attraction and manifestation. And it's gradual. Those of you who know I coach the Reach Higher method. If it's something you're interested in, I'm happy to send you a PDF that outlines it. But reaching higher. And when I first started reaching, I wasn't reaching all that high, but I was reaching just out of my reach. I was going just out of my reach. And so for me, that year after losing Layden, it was reaching for hope, reaching for trust. And that hope and trust that I was worth continuing to live for, that I could allow myself to live without guilt, right? To live happily without guilt, rather. So anytime I was happy, you know, in the months following losing lady, and I felt guilty, I didn't allow myself to be happy. So that first new year that rolled around, it was this intention and reaching for, like, this hope and this trust that I could live, that I could choose life. In subsequent years, it was gratitude and then possibility. It was alignment and then letting go of toxicity. Last year, really stepping into power. And this year I feel really drawn to service and spaciousness. I'm going to talk a lot more about that throughout the year. Right? Service and spaciousness and what that means. And really giving myself the space in my work that I do personally and professionally to allow things to grow right, to nurture and to cultivate growth in different ways. And service really being able to give more meaningfully to others. And some of that might be through work that I do that's paid, and some of it may be through work that I do that is volunteer. Right. And I think service is. It doesn't mean charity, but for me, it's going to be a mix of all those things. So I wanted to channel the spirit of that and share today. Five things that you can do that are free. Earlier I said they were easy. Maybe they're not totally easy. They might be a little bit uncomfortable. That's where we grow. But you can do them today. You're in complete control. You don't need anyone else. And they can truly help you feel a lot better in your life. Not just today, not just in the month of January, but all year long. And I am speaking from experience, because these are things that not only have I coached people to do at different times throughout the years. You know, kind of pick and choose where I think it might benefit them to employ one of these steps, but these are things that I have done. I did all five of these already this year, some of them multiple times. Actually did all five of these last year at the start of 2019, and it was in 2018 when I first started being more intentional about them. So they really, really, really do work. And I want you to let them be a reminder that when we're looking to grow and to feel a certain way. I talked a lot about as you set intentions. Don't look and look at what you want to obtain. Look at how you want to feel. That's why in the manifestation work that I coach, it's not just looking at what we want. It's how we're gonna feel when we achieve that or manifest that or embody that, and then using the energy of those feelings every single day to bring your manifestation closer to your truth. Right again. So it's not just looking at what we want. It's how are we gonna feel? How are we gonna feel when we cross that finish line? How are we gonna feel when that number's account? How are we going to feel when we're happy in our relationship? And it's focusing on those things that allow the rest to come that opens up the space, the energy flow for things to come to us. And so these five steps are going to really be working on cultivating some of these energies and these feelings. So the first thing I want you to do, I want you to call someone and tell them a place that you fell short only if you fell short to them. Right? You're not just gonna report to them a place where you fell short elsewhere. So calling somebody and just standing in that place of personal responsibility and saying, wow, I did the very best I could, the very best I could, but I fell short here. And I'm sorry, you know, I can't go back. I can't redo it. But I just want you to know that I acknowledge that though I was acting in the best of my capacity and ability at that time, I fell short, and I wish I had shown up more powerfully. And I just thought, I want you to know that it is not easy to do. It is so powerful. I have done it multiple times. And it's funny, people almost caught off guard and they're like, well, what do you want from me? And you're like, I don't want anything. I just want you to know that it's important to me that I acknowledge that while I showed up the best I could, it wasn't my most powerful version of myself. And that's, you know, that's not the standard I want to hold. You matter to me. I want to share that with you. I'm doing my best. Now, notice I'm not over apologizing. I'm not looking to make it up. I'm not saying, how can I make it up to you. I'm really just standing in that place of personal responsibility and showing some vulnerability to this other person, showing some courage and showing a level of like, you know, you matter to me and you care. So try that out. Call someone and let them know or tell them in person, Let them know. A place where maybe you fell short, maybe you didn't show up as powerfully as you could. And this is going to really begin to grow that idea of personal responsibility, but also of compassion, forgiveness, and really allowing a safe space of reflection where we can say, like, I'm human. I don't do everything perfectly. Because we've got to be able to do that to grow. We've got to not beat ourselves up when we fall short, but allow it to be a learning opportunity. So you're going to practice that in step one. Step two. I want you to reflect on a person or a situation where you feel like you were hurt, you were wronged, you were screwed over, whatever it may be, and maybe you were, but I want you to let it go and see if you can find a lesson or growth opportunity. Because it's there, right? It's there. Maybe you were challenged to cultivate patience or forgiveness or accepting what's out of your control. Maybe you are challenged to think more diversely or inclusively or to reflect on the words that you use or the way that you engage with people or the level of trust you put in someone. Maybe you were challenged to recognize that we can't have a blank check of trust handed to everyone in our lives as much as we'd love to. The reality is it's not everyone else's job to look out for our best interest. It's only our job. So I want you to reflect on a place where you were screwed over, you were hurt, you were wronged, And I want you to let it go. And you can write it down. I had people write it down and burn it on paper, like actually physically let it go. Maybe you tell someone you're letting something go, and if you do that, you're really saying it. You're not looking for an explanation. You're not looking for them to apologize. You're really letting it go. And as a bonus, bonus. This is a bonus step. I want you to thank the person or the situation for that opportunity. I want you to bring gratitude for it. Gratitude for the ways that it's helped you grow, it's helped you strengthen, it's developed maybe a higher level of wisdom or understanding. So step one, you're letting someone know where you fell short. Step two, you're looking at maybe where someone else or situation fell short and you got the short end of the stick. And you're going to let it go. You're going to cultivate that sense of weightlessness, that freedom of letting something go. And you're going to bring in as a bonus that gratitude for the opportunity you were given. All right, number three, this is a little less tangible, but oh, it's so powerful. So number three, you're going to look at. Where do you have the expectation of always being comfortable? I want you to call out an expectation of being comfortable. And this could be as simple as I do it to myself all the time. All the time. Like, if I'm stuck in traffic and I'm frustrated, well, why did I have the expectation there wasn't going to be traffic on a Monday morning at 7am on the Mass bike or I was going to do returns at a store? Right. I think it was like Christmas Eve. I think it might have actually been Christmas Eve. And I was doing returns at a store and the line was bananas, right? It was so long and like, I found myself getting a little frustrated and I thought, well, why did I have the expectation that it wasn't going to be absolute chaos? And so those are like really light lifting examples. Right? It can be a lot more in terms of the way people act. It can be in the way something's gonna go. It can be in how the weather is gonna be. But where do you have expectations that something's gonna go the way you envision it, you want it to go that's gonna be comfortable or smooth. And where can you let go of that expectation? I'm telling you, if you can practice this now and throughout your year, forget any resolutions you set. This is going to bring you so much Happiness, so much gratitude, so much fulfillment. It can absolutely change the trajectory of your year and of your life. So find a place where you have an expectation. You probably don't even state that expectation out loud. It's just ingrained in you. So begin to call out where we have these ingrained expectations and watch things change. All right, the fourth step for you to take to improve your year right now for free, is I want you to say no. I want you to say no every day for a week. Every single day for a week, I want you to say no to something. And if you're not sure how to do it, my last podcast episode is all about saying no. In 2020, I teach you how to do it. And if you listen to it and you want more information, shoot me a message. I will send you a PDF that outlines how to say no and how not to say no. I love teaching you guys know that I, like, geek out, nerd out on all of this stuff. So every single day for one week, just try it. Every single day for one week, find something to say no to. Whether it's establishing a boundary, refraining from people pleasing, whether it's being impeccable with your word. Remember, you can reference. I've got a podcast on Stop lying. I've actually got one on boundaries. So all of these ways I want to support you, but every single day, you can say no for one week, I want you to try it. Whether it's even saying no to a free coffee. I reference that a lot. Or, you know, those samples at Trader Joe's, those get me every time, right? And I always want to just go have the sample. I'm like, that's definitely going to give me a stomachache. I'm gonna say no to that. And remember, like, this abundance mindset that there are gonna be many opportunities to have other samples and other foods that aren't gonna give me a stomachache, right? So you can say no to little things within your own day, to day or to other people, but every single day for one week, I want you to say no. All right, so we have covered calling someone and letting them know where you fell short, right? Owning that, reflecting on a place where you were hurt or wronged, right? Embodying that forgiveness, that gratitude. Finding where expectations of always being comfortable may exist, right? Or that something's always going to be convenient and letting that go. And that's going to bring a huge sense of acceptance, of lightness into your life. And then we've got saying no. And that actually can really foster that abundance mindset, there are going to be many more opportunities to do all these things. It can also foster that worthiness, that energy of worthiness, that you deserve to put up boundaries where you need to. So depending on how you use know right, you can be bringing in that worthiness, that abundance. All of these different energies, I'm asking you to practice them and asking you to trust that it really can change everything. Because it's done it for the clients that I work with, one on one, and it's done in my own life. And the very last thing is I want you to say yes. You're like, melissa, what the heck? You just told me to say no. I want you to say yes to something every single day that scares you just a little bit or feels uncomfortable. And just like you're doing this with saying no for one week. I want you to try this saying yes for one week when your default goes to no. I want you to try to retrain it to be asked just one time every day for a week. So it could be, you know, it could be that you are invited to some type of exercise class that you didn't think you could ever do and you say no, and you're like, you know, maybe I can do that. Maybe you're invited to think about something differently and your mind automatically goes to close to no. And you're simply just going to open your mind to yes to what else might be possible. So this doesn't have to be really labor intensive, intricate stuff, right? This can be just saying yes to a new way of thinking. This could be saying yes to a new solution. It could be something at work and you find yourself saying no, we could never do that. This is the way we've always done it. How many of you hear that all the time? Oh, it drives me crazy. Right? This is the way you've always done it. We couldn't possibly do that. I challenge you to think yes, yes, we can explore that as an option. We absolutely can. And by learning to say yes now, you're getting more curious. Now you're opening up to possibility and you're really embodying this progressive, this growth mindset. Thinking of getting out of autopilot, of not limiting yourself and really stepping into your power. So these five steps, they all really diversify different high vibes that they hit. They're gonna widen that palette of manifesting and stepping into and attracting these different high vibes, but they're gonna do it in really tangible ways. Remember the first two, you just have to do one Time finding expectations. Do it once. But I encourage there's no limit to that. The more you do it, the better. And saying no and saying yes. Just try it every day for one week and see how it comes out. And let me know, right? Shoot me a message, let me know how it's going. I want to hear how these five steps, which are free, which you don't need to do anything fancy, you can do them all from home, from work, from the car, right? They don't need a lot of time. You can do them all integrating into your life. They are low energy investments with high energy returns. Think about that. Low energy investments with truly massive energy returns. And I hope that that is a gift for you as you enter this new year seeking to feel your best, to live your best and to give your best. Because that is my mission this year and beyond. To really show up powerfully and to serve powerfully. And I am so grateful to be able to do that with all of you. And with that I have some exciting updates and changes on the horizon. I will be shifting the work that I do one on one. So as you know, I full time, I do one on one life coaching and I've been working with a good amount of people in different capacities and depths and it's been wonderful. I will be restructuring that to make space for some other exciting things going on. So if it's something you've been curious about, please know I'm only going to be working with four people in this year, four people at a time, which is about 25% of where I'm normally at. So it's something you've been curious about. Like let's get in touch, let's chat and see if it's fit. If not, I am making tons of other recommendations because anyone that I work with, I am either continuing to support or. Or I'm helping them transition into a place where they're going to continue their personal growth that best aligns with where they're at and where they need. Because that's what it is, right? It's not black and white, it's not cookie cutter, it's what do I need to best support my growth currently, what aligns with that. So if you've been inspired thinking about that, let me know. I'll either talk about how I can support you or I will let you know where you can do the work. Because to me what matters is that you do the work. It is from me continually investing in doing the work that I'm able to be here and share with all of you, so thank you so much. And as you know, everything I share is inspired by my daughter, Layden. The lessons that she taught, the light that she brings and continues to shine into this world. And I'm just so grateful for every single one of you helping me spread Layden's light.