61: Easy At-Home Hacks To Help With Quarantine Living

Hello, friends, and welcome to Grief Guts and Green Smoothies. I am your host, Melissa Dugalecki, and I am so excited to be here with you all to chat about ways in which we can all get through different adversities, challenges and loss. And how getting outside of our comfort zone and maybe having a green smoothie or two can help us do so. We will cover different topics, ranging from interviews to recipes, to sharing my own stories of my grief journey and the loss of my daughter, Layden. And I'm honored to be able to share her light in hopes of helping you spread yours. Now, let's dive in. Hello, friends, how are we doing? A little human check in as our world is really impacted right now. We're in week two of quarantine living for many of us as our world is impacted by coronavirus. And that looks different for all of us. So today's episode, I'm actually going to talk a lot about how to create boundaries and containers so within your own energy, your own home, no matter how small it is, how large it is, how busy it is. If you are feeling a little bit like every aspect of your life is spilling into one or the other, your work, your family, your home, your social, your you time, or if you're feeling just a little bit suffocated inside, this is absolutely for you. I hope that it supports you as we all work together to get through this. All right? Last week we talked about the parallel between grief and coronavirus. And you know, there are a lot of things that are manifesting, remember grief, all of these experiences, their energies that are very present or surface level or manifesting in different ways and the energies that are coming up through this challenge of, you know, our world being impacted and threatened by this virus that, you know, not so much the impact of the death rate that is significant. It's the fallout, right? It's the way that people are being impacted in their work or maybe losing jobs or not able to visit their loved ones or hospitals are over spilling right now or we have a shortage of supplies. So it's all of these secondary quote unquote losses, right? These impacts that are transpiring in our world. And we. One of the ones you have spoken loudly to is how do I handle this? Working from home or, you know, not working from home, but just being home and feeling as though I'm constantly in this same energy space. And what I want to show you today is how you can create boundaries and containers at home, no matter how big your space is. Now, I used to live after Ladies and died. I moved into a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny studio in Beacon Hill, Boston. And it is one of my favorite kind of chapters and phases. Not because of where I was at my life, right? I was very freshly bereaved. It was painful. But because of the way I created the energy there and did healing there and had these different spaces, I had to get really creative. And I want to teach you how to do that. And secondly, as always, I want to encourage you to apply this at a grander level. Now, I have an episode a while back on boundaries. I often have people ask about setting boundaries. And setting boundaries is a hard concept to understand. Sometimes we feel like we're being mean or maybe too pushy. What I want you, what I challenge you rather to create this opportunity to be, is a deeper understanding of how energy really works. And creating these quote unquote boundaries, creating these containers, which essentially is another way of describing boundaries, can really help you in your life. Really, really, really. On a grander level, beyond this phase, this chapter we're all in right now, if you can practice them right now, it is going to help you when you go back to the office, when you go back to the classroom, when you go back to the studio, right? When you are engaging in relationships, when it is an option to go out to dinner again right now, right. It's not even an option to meet people out to dinner. You don't have to create boundaries or sometimes say no. That's a sense of relief for a lot of people right now. No, in a way, it's simplified things for me and just. It's not even something on my radar. I can't do it. My energy doesn't go there. So I'm going to speak really tangibly, which is not the norm normally. I'm speaking very intangibly. Hypothetically, I'm going to give you the personal ways that I tangibly create boundaries with all that is going on in my space. And one of those things just starts as simply as separating up right now the way that I use my phone and the way that I use my computer when I don't have as much variance in personal and professional. Now I work from home and I'm still feeling it, right, Because I'm not getting out as much. So when I don't have as much variance in personal and professional, I'm creating it and as many ways that I can. Now, it's interesting because Mooch and I actually do this. We will use the platform Slack for our work communication and we use our phone for Personal communication. And I'll be honest, I think Instagram probably goes into both because we have to go back and forth on some work ideas and we share personal stuff there too. But you know, we have these containers where Slack is really work related, our phone is really personal related. And then we find that gray and maybe social media platforms such as LinkedIn or Facebook or Instagram. But for me, I'm doing that at an even deeper level right now where I do not have text messaging on my phone, which I used to, or imessaging whatever it is. I don't have my facetime or phone connected at all to my computer. I don't get alerts for social media or any personal things on my computer. So I've created. My computer is very work productivity centered. And I'm saying productivity because it's also personal productivity. I'll do my personal email on here. I've actually eliminated my Yahoo Mail rip. Yahoo. You are really just that spam and all the shopping stuff and all those groupons, those coupons get me. That's eliminated right now. And I really only use my phone now for personal. So I will use it for texting, I'll use it for social media, I'll use it for online shopping because it limits it a little bit. Amazon is really what I'm referencing here, let's be honest. But separating out my phone and my computer has been really helpful for me in creating a little boundary and container, even deeper than ones I already have. Now I do that within my physical space too. So I like to use the space in my bed or in my bedroom to be more creative. I like to think of it as it's really loose. You know, I can sprawl out a little bit more. I sprawl out with my physical space, I will sprawl out with my mental space. It may seem really silly, but it's very true, right? So I sprawl out. I get really creative. I try and expand, expand, expand, expand in my zone of creation. And maybe I tend to do more essential oils in my bedroom if I'm using it for creative space or relaxing at night. I also like candles or you know, I will do incense. It really depends. But I'm going to get into the difference of those in a second. Believe it or not, there is a difference. I like to use the couch for more mindless work. Now picture this. I'm literally going from maybe more sprawled out on my floor or on my bed to the couch where I'm a little less sprawled out but energetically I'm just a little more like, oof, become a little bit more just like decompressed, a little more relaxed. I like to use this space for more mindless work, maybe more tasks, replying to emails, getting through some to do's every now and then kind of maybe curating or recurring some content. But that's not where I find my deepest expansion of creativity. It's kind of my middle container. Now seated at my counter, I like to use much more of my focus. I have more of a boundary on my energy. I tend to not have my phone out. I'm very centered on what I'm doing. Perhaps I'm coaching for other people or I'm in meetings, right? Typically meetings or coaching is how I like to be there because I have to really show up for others. So I have to put a container on my own energy. I can't allow my energy to be going to my to do list. I can't allow my energy to be going to previous conversations. I have that more structured seating. It's not the most comfortable chair, right? I'm sitting upright. I don't have as much room to expand. I definitely can't sprawl out. My energy is more directed, more focused. So I tend to create that as my space for more directed, focused tasks or time blocks. Now these little things really do make a difference. And you've all seen I like essential oils, I like incense, I like candles, and I use those differently too. So I tend to use essential oils in my bedroom more through a diffuser, where it's really just creating a space and putting that energy out or creating that vibe for me. But if you think about it, it's really spacious, right? Even the way diffuser comes out, it goes up and out. When I'm on the couch, I tend to use candles. Now this is something that I believe is like for me, it's kind of decompressing. Like I said, I decompress a bit on the couch. I kind of sink in. I'm not totally sprawled out, but I'm relaxed. And for me, candles are very relaxing. They're very meditative. I feel like it's a place where I receive a little bit, right? They just kind of. There's something so mesmerizing about watching that fire, that flame. And then on my counter, whenever I'm coaching, maybe at my desk, I tend to use incense. Now incense are energy clearing. And so I like to clear out external energy to then focus on whatever I need to do. And so most of you have probably seen on social media, right? The incense, the energy clearing. Because that's when I'm getting focused and in the zone to coach or have meetings, when I'm completely sprawled out with my essential oils going. I'm really not in a headspace where I'm thinking about sharing on social, right. I'm thinking about just myself and creating. And on the couch, you know, you've probably seen those like a smaller percentage because they are more of a mindless space to do a task. Every now and then it's like I pop in and I'll share and you probably see the candles going in, the blankets on the couch. So these may seem like silly things, right? And I'm just talking about creating containers with physical space. And I'm talking 3ish different physical spaces, right? Because I do have a desk with just a seat that I will sit at that has no back that I use for coaching. And sometimes I actually really like to sprawl out, even on my yoga mat on the floor to do a lot of my creating. But essentially three zones of energy that I apply, commit to three different energy spaces and that I apply and integrate with three different energy scents, right? Just those different energies that comes with those different. Same kind of vibe of adding a scent, but they apply differently. So I hope that's helpful in really navigating, you know, and thinking about how am I creating containers, how am I looking at what energy that I need to be in? How am I separating personal and professional? Right. I don't really have personal conversations from the counter space that I really find that I work well at. There's good lighting there, I'm focused, it's not as comfortable. I have more personal conversations, you know, sometimes even on my walks, right. Or possibly on the couch. And how am I really integrating these things differently? How am I being flexible with my time blocking? So right now I'm also doing this time block. I will write, I'm either gonna run, I'm gonna write, I'm gonna sleep in, I'm gonna do yoga, or I'll record a podcast. And I really tap into what energy zone am I in right now? And I know if I choose to do something here, well, then I've gotta make sure that in that other flexible spot, if I choose to on my Monday flex time, maybe sleep in, while on my Thursday flex time, I'm probably not going to sleep in, I'm probably going to get up and either create or get my workout in. So how am I using this flex time to give myself some freedom and Also stay committed. And then how am I creating boundaries with this inundation, right? This information, this content overload. There's so much being thrown at us right now. How am I creating boundaries? And for me, it's taking notifications off my phone, taking them off my computer, putting my phone on do not disturb, choosing when I want to put on the news, choosing when I want to check in. And I also really make sure that I have quiet time everyday quiet time. These different things all allow me to create and access different energy levels, energy vibes, energy fields within one space. I actually realized, and I'm not proud of this, I went 51 hours without leaving my apartment, but I honestly didn't even realize it because I've created so many different spaces within my own one space and energy field that I don't feel like I need to shake it up as much now. I do want to get fresh air, take in the sun. So I'm making a commitment to not do that again. But I want you to know how effective this can be. And on a greater level, I want you to think about, wow, if it can make that much of a difference to be aware of my energy and my containers and my boundaries within one little area of square foot living within, whether I'm in the bedroom or on the couch or on the counter, or whether I'm using incense or candles or essential oils, right? These are all seemingly the same thing. But if I'm using them all really differently, how can I be aware of my energy outside of this? When we are out of quarantine living, how can I be aware of the containers I'm creating, the boundaries I'm putting in, where I'm separating personal and professional, where I'm giving myself flexibility, giving myself space, and really directing my energy so I know when I have to be focused, when I know where I can decompress and where I know where I can completely expand in the way that I want to. I hope this is helpful for you guys. Let me know what other things do we want to tackle? We are in this together. You are not alone. One day at a time. Just like I've done in my grief journey, just like I'm supporting so many of us here, we get through by not only making space for the challenge, but of finding and creating space for the growth. So I am honored and grateful to do that with all of you. Again, this is all inspired and learned from my daughter Laden. And much like we would never, never want to learn the things that we're learning through this challenge and this tragedy and through this chaos, I never wanted to learn the things that I learned in grief through the life and the loss of my daughter. Laden. Right. I want her back here, but I don't have that choice. So it is my honor and my privilege to share what I've learned so we can all continue to grow together. Because we are in this together. So sending you all love and light, my friends. And we'll talk soon.