64: Authenticity, entitlement and how to stop worrying about what people think

Hello, friends, and welcome to Grief Guts and Green Smoothies. I am your host, Melissa Dugalecki, and I am so excited to be here with you all to chat about ways in which we can all get through different adversities, challenges, and loss, and how getting outside of our comfort zone and maybe having a green smoothie or two can help us do so. We will cover different topics, ranging from interviews to recipes, to sharing my own stories of my grief journey and the loss of my daughter, Layden. And I'm honored to be able to share her light in hopes of helping you spread yours. Now let's dive in. When I first met Tara, I was a student in her yoga class. Even though I had been practicing yoga at this point for about a year, her class brought me to tears. After her class, I went up to her and thanked her and told her that I was in a grief journey and she had brought me to a depth of release I hadn't yet accessed. And she hugged me. And I knew from that moment that there was some strong energy in Tara Morris. Now, since then, Tara and I have stayed connected. She has been a photographer who has captured so many amazing moments at Leyden's Tree, including the picture for my podcast cover. I continue to be a student of her classes and continue to be enamored by her energy. It is infectious. It is contagious.

It is.

And it is really like none other. I am so excited to introduce you to my friend, Tara Morris. Tara, thank you so much for making time. Right. I know we have a little extra time right now, but still, you're making time to join us in the podcast today. You have been an amazing teacher and friend and inspiration, and I'm so honored to introduce you to this community.

Oh, my God, that's so nice. I feel the exact same way about you. And there was total love at first sight, which always helps when that's mutual.

It is. It's a lot less awkward when it's mutual.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had it both ways. Usually the other way. Many, many, many times.

So funny. And you know what's really interesting is, and we're going to get into a couple of opening, warm up little questions, but just thinking about, you know, our connection and friendship. And the first time I met you was your class at. It was then inner strength and it brought me to tears. And I came up to you after and was like, I can't thank you enough. Like, I'm recovering from grief. And you were like, just so amazing with that. And then like, As I kind of found more of my stride, you were the person I reached out to and was like, hey, I kind of need some pictures for my website. Like, do you think you could help with that? And you were, like, the person I trusted. And then now being able to, like, show up for your class, you know, virtually or in person and just, like, draw on your strengths, I feel like I've been able to do it for years in different ways. So I just want to say thank you.

Oh, that's so awesome. I love that. I love that. You just keep pulling. You just keep dragging forward, pulling forward, launching forward. And it probably felt like that the first months and days and years were pulling forward and out, and then. And now it is such a launch for you that you are using this. This fact, this impossible fact that happened, knowing that you cannot unchange, you cannot change it. So what are you gonna do with it? You know? And that is absolutely incredible to be around. I love, love, love, love being your yoga teacher, one of them. I loved photographing you that day and just love seeing you connect and inspire and continue to grow. Just holding Laden's hand like, you never let go of her hand. She never let go of yours.

No, thank you.

Every single day is still for her, you know, and it's inspired by her. And it's out of 100%. Pure love is your motivation, and that is. That's why you're doing so. It's so obvious. It's so obvious. You're just such an incredibly good person. And when you start to really attract people like Jackie Bonwell and all the amazing people who want to be around you, it's almost like when animals like you. Thank you.

Oh, thank you. I'm covered in goosebumps now. So everyone listening is like, no wonder she is obsessed with her classes and just your energy. So before we dive in, you know, and this actually has different meaning for you because, you know, my podcast show is called Grief, Guts and Green Smoothies, and. But you were taking the pictures to help with this, so you might have a different. You know, my podcast cover is actually a photo that you took. So I always ask every guest, though, what comes up for you when you hear Grief, Guts and Green Smoothies? Because it can resonate differently with everyone.

So because I cannot separate it from you, it would get me anyway because I would be like, guts. I would overthink that and think that it was the immunity part of Guts, which fits the green smoothie, but grief, I would put in there. So let me just tell you what it is, the fact the guts piece is what you are. You're not just courageous to be able to get out of bed after losing a daughter, but you're courageous in putting yourself out there with just your Instagram stories, your social media presence. You're fearless in supporting people that you love. You just have so much courage that. And so the guts piece is both that way and then of course, I know that Leyden's illness had to do with her guts, which probably inadvertently made you a guts expert, right? So you're learning so much about that because what a world. Like, wait, wait, I thought she had a hole in her heart. Wait, she has a what? Like, what is that world? But the fact that it's a double entendre with you, that it also means courage. The grief. The grief piece. I predict you'll almost outgrow that word because you're so laden. Is not. Is not gone.

Yeah.

Yeah, I love that she's not gone. She'd be. You didn't have to have any of the fucking pain in the ass preteen. It's pure love and motivation, and she's right here with you. But I also love that you're such an inspiration because people, and right now particularly, they are gonna lose people that they love, and we are gonna be looking for soldiers in that fight. And the green smoothie thing is, I think is about taking care of yourselves, taking care of yourself, and that then this amazing one time through journey is tomorrow's never promised. We're face to face with that right now, with this crisis, as if it's the first day we ever really realized that tomorrow's not promised.

I want to revisit that. Yeah.

So if it's not, at least if this disease comes rolling over me, please let me have some. Be able to breathe, Pranayama breathe. Let me be able to feed myself soups and broths and green so that my lungs can get healthy. Like, we gotta learn how to treat ourselves so that we're the healthiest version of ourselves in honor that we get to live this life, that we get to grow old. So treat yourself well. Learn about anything on what to put in your mouth. You know what I mean? So that's what the green smoothie piece would mean to me.

I love that. And speaking of putting things in our mouths. Tacos. Favorite taco. Best taco you've had. You've traveled so much, you've probably had some good ones. What's the best?

I just got back from Mexico City. I went on a bike Tour of just taco places. And I think it's called barbacoa. It's pork. And this poor motherfucking pig, I guess, gets buried underground and, like sauteed and cooked in an underground thing. It's so good that you want to, like, elbow people in the face. It's so good. It's just delicious. You shouldn't be eating that much meat. But if you're good and you're going to have it in a taco, have.

That, make it, go with that. I love that. Thank you so much. And you know, what you offer is you offer so much in this world and you offer healing and you capture people's light. You capture their journeys. You capture it for them through photo. You capture it on the mat. You've lived, led some amazing many international trips. How did you find your journey here, your way here? I'm sure that there's so many different directions that we've gone. And one of the things I talk a lot about on this podcast is like, we gotta detach from thinking everything's linear and sequential. And it's just like, oh, check this off. And then you go here and you check that off. Like, that's not gonna work, right. That's when everyone has breakdowns and they're unhappy and they look around, they're like, what the hell am I doing? So tell us about your journey.

Well, it is. It ends up to be kind of a monologue when I. When I go too detailed into it. But there's some really, really very cool pieces of my life story that deserve to be known because they have to do with me being very lucky and very blessed and just good, good feeling things. So right out of high school, I went to University of Alabama, which is a really tough, tough decision for me because I'm from Marshfield, Massachusetts, and went down to Tuscaloosa, Alabama, and I really, really did not fit in there. Comes to find out they don't totally love mouthy liberal women that are outspoken and swear a lot. Who knew? But when I was there, I realized I never wanted to sit in a desk and I never wanted to go to a desk. Same office. So I designed my own major and called it personal wellness, which sounds stupid now, but this was in 94, so it was sort of cutting edge, I guess. I don't know. And I combined fitness, nutrition and psychology and I wanted to run health spas. I left Alabama, I went to San Francisco, and I eventually found my way to graduate with my degree in nutrition from a naturopathic medical School out in Seattle. And when I graduated in 99, everyone was like, I was teaching health food store tours like this is quinoa and this is kale in the 90s. And people were like, that's great, but I don't have time to make it. Can you make it for me? And I was like, sure. Just scrappy, you know, just a scrappy middle class kid. And I didn't know how to cook. And I ended up becoming a personal chef for people and would design, shop for their meals, design them, portion control them, cook them and drop them off. So I had a little business there. And then I was a personal trainer and a spinning instructor. And that I'm just naturally, I have a deep voice, I have a strong voice. I'm a natural fit for that group exercise thing. I don't have any athletic ability, but I was a dancer, like ballet, tap and jazz when I was a kid. So I have rhythm. Those two things are pertinent, as you know, from taking my class. So meanwhile, my mother first got her very first signs of Parkinson's disease when she was dropping me off at University of Alabama. That slowly developed and got worse. And by the time I was 28, my sister told me to come home and help my mother, who at that point we thought was gonna be in the last years of our life. So when I was 28, I packed, which was in 2003, I packed my car in Seattle and I drove cross country and I got a job as a personal trainer at the only high end health club in Boston at the time called the Sports Club la. My very, very, very first client, her name, let's just call, her name, is Sandy, right? I don't need to tell you her last name. And I got all these great clients and Sandy and a handful of people pitched in and bought me my first digital camera the first Christmas I was there. And with that I raised a bunch of money and rode my bike across Vietnam to raise money for a kids. It's called Kids First Vietnam and they do prosthetics and crutches and all kinds of stuff for kids that are still being affected by landmines in Vietnam. So while I was riding my bike across Vietnam with my brand new digital camera, I was like, I'm supposed to be a photographer. When I was in high school, I used to set up elaborate photo shoots with my best friends with costume changes, big mouth abrasives, humongous bangs and shit. And I was just like, oh my God. I wanted to send it into like Vogue. I thought my Friends were so gorgeous, and I didn't know what I was doing, but I was letting them be seen and feel as beautiful as I saw them. And then I was my class historian, and I have just boxes and boxes of photo albums downstairs and. But I thought a photographer was like, astronaut. You know what I mean? Like, I was like, who the fuck is that, right? I thought it was either you were National Geographic or you were Vogue or you weren't a photographer at that point. I'm 29, and I'm like, there's a million ways to be a photographer. So I applied to New England School of Photography here in Boston, and I got in and couldn't afford it because I'm in so much student loan debt. So that very first client, Sandy, and all my other clients were on this journey with me. And Sandy, one day, after knowing that I was going to have a hard time, if at all, finding financing, she was like, I'm going to pay for you to go to photography school. And she gave me $30,000.

Oh.

I'm not. I'm not a relative. I'm a personal trainer, right? So she was like, I had a lot of breaks in my life, and I'm gonna give you one. Like, holy shit. She wrote me a $30,000 check. She also let me live with her. So I was able to start my little businesses when I was in school, and I started shooting weddings and doing family photography with my guy I met in school named Ben is my business partner in my wedding photography. I do my child stuff and my family stuff on my own. Been doing that crazy awesome for 13 years. Well, six years ago, I was so, like, there I was running after my dream and running after my dream and running after my dream. And I got to my dream. I was a professional photographer that traveled all over the world for months of the year just for fun. I've been all over the world by myself, and I'm lonely as shit. I'm starting to be in my late 30s. I have no boyfriend, I have no kids, and I think I missed the bus to happiness. I thought that happiness must be at a fucking cul de sac in the suburbs with a husband and three kids. Even though I know better now, that's where the yoga comes in. So when I was doing yoga, I fell in love with Baptiste. Yoga out in Seattle. Randomly went, loved the challenge, came back to Boston, was a die hard fan of Baptiste. I went to level one with Baptiste, and then I ended up getting my certification with Ralph Gates. While I'm in yoga, though, Before I went for my certification, I'm in triangle, and it's stretching. And I'm feeling awesome. I don't know why I'm feeling awesome. They never talked about any of the stored tension or anything. And I'm like, I'm supposed to get back to group exercise. Like, I'm supposed to be a yoga teacher. That's where my community is. That's where I'm going to be around people. I'm so lonely. I ran after this dream so hard, and here I am. I never thought I would actually get here and also then get bored of it. So I got certified and I started teaching at Inner Strength. My very first class was 1:15.15. It was five years ago. And I loved it. I loved it. I loved it. My core. The reason my flow is strong is because it's from a Baron Batiste background. The reason it's harder and flowier is because I love to dance and then my community. So my whole love of it is all about the students and me connecting with people and me using my world travel, all the stuff I've seen all over Africa and Asia, and watching my mother die slowly, trapped in her body as it's slowly. She's still alive. She's in her 25th year of Parkinson's, and she's never once complained. She's never once laid a guilt trip on me or my sister. She's never once cried herself a river, ever. Every single day. She sees her plight as her mountain. She enjoys it. That is her Dharma. That is her life. And so I take that message of choosing to suffer to yoga, and I make the class extremely physically challenging so that I can go, are you fucking serious? Is this the hardest your day is gonna get? When you bend your knees deeply so that your thighs feel kind of tired, And I try not to say it like I just said it to you like, that arrogant and wise ass. You don't.

From the student end, I can tell you. You don't.

Because some days, right? And I'm only always talking to myself, right? Because the voice that I talk to myself in is the. My only voice. I can't be like, oh, I'm just harsh on myself, but I'm super, super nice to you. No, I'm at work when I'm in front of a yoga class and I'm trying extremely hard to be the best version of myself. I. I could walk in there and be like, you're rich, you're white, and it's 11am and you literally have nothing to do except go to yoga. Shut the fuck up. Get. Like, some days I do want to do that, but I know that that is not how people are. Like, great class, you know, it's like I want to remind them and I want to lead them and want to pull them up. I don't want to. I don't want to browbeat them. I want to. I want to drag them up. I want to pull them up. And when I was. When I was first, in this first week of this quarantine, I fucking felt bad for myself. I actually was like, how do you kill yourself? Like, I don't have a gun. I'm not going to, like, I'm not going to jump off something. I'm way too much of a pussy for either of those two things. So, like, what do I just take, like, tons of Advil and vodka? Like, I was like, how? Because I mean, like, I was about to like, Google it. Like, how do. Like, I hadn't thought of it really, right? And then I. And then I woke up and was like, wait a second. So this will all be done by June and I'll come out and I'll be a healthy, vibrant, successful human being with no disease. Ideally, and free. How do you think my fucking mother felt when she got that diagnosis? But the world went on without her, you know what I mean? Or people that have Lou Gehrig's or. Or people who hold their four month daughter who dies in their arms. And you're supposed to get up.

Yeah.

You'Re supposed to get up and go to a totally vibrant coffee shop where you only notice pregnant people. Or you only notice people and you're not suffering and my mother's not suffering. This is a joke. If we don't use this time as some kind of forced meditation retreat. In your own way, and whatever that is, and if that is cleaning out your closets, then it's cleaning out your closets. But this is a forced meditation retreat. Who the fuck are you gonna be when you get out of here? Because as far as I'm concerned, the day we get out of here is borrowed time. If you did not get run over by this disease and you get to walk out in July and August and September, what are you gonna do, dude? What are you gonna do? This is your second chance. This is everybody's second chance. Stand the fuck up and be who you're gonna be. It's all about community. It's all about community. It's all about love. It's all about helping people. It's all about doing anything you can. The gifts you were given from God to help out. Because some days it's four months.

Yeah.

Some days it's 72 years and some days it's 45 years. Like, you know what I'm saying? So I think I just way over talked. I'm sure your editor is just gonna be like, does she take a breath?

Andrew's like, abort, abort.

Pause.

No, I'm just kidding. That was amazing. That was you and your story. But really what you just drawn, and I want to point out for everyone listening is, you know, you didn't know that like none of us knew we were going to be in this quarantine living. Right. You didn't know when you said that you're going to be called to yoga. And you reference like keep saying yes, right? And you just, whether it was coming up with your own major in college or pursuing what your dream was, or riding across Vietnam or you know, whatever it is, I mean, you just kept saying yes to the things that aligned and you kept showing up. And from that you have this amazing toolbox to not only help share with others, but for yourself during this time right now, which is amazing.

Well, and how psyched are you that you went to fucking California? You said yes because you're not going this spring, you know, and how psyched am I that I have put the cart before the horse and everything? Like, I bet you were like, okay, I'm going to be a life coach. And I bet on a bad day you're like, who the fuck do I think I am? Right? But you'll never be ready. Seeing Mel Robbins there, she's like, she just starts the live cast and just hopes that her best self comes out. Then we all, she's just so courageous, like, and we all can do that. It's like you gotta say yes because you don't know when that timer is gonna stop.

Well, and I love that because you, I mean, you hit on. It's so funny. You're hitting on all these things I talk about here all the time. But it's so applicable because right now there's a magnifying glass being held up to like some pretty significant life lessons, right? And I'm saying this quarantine and coronavirus, like it's very much like grief. We don't want it. Right? It's scary, it's unknown. It's bringing up these anxiety inducing energies. We feel powerless and there's opportunity in it, there's growth in it and there's learning and it's our Responsibility, in my opinion. And what you just said, to stand and lean into that, like, how am I going to grow? How am I going to learn? What am I doing through this?

Please don't, please don't say we're going to come out of here and be the same people we were going in.

And if we do them, we're disservicing. Everybody impacted, in my opinion. Everyone out there fighting on the front lines right now. Everyone out there making decisions, everyone's. Whose health is suffering or whose life is lost, you know, if we don't take this. And I love how you shared how you had that moment of feeling sorry for yourself. It's so human. It was funny when we didn't know the severity of it, right? This escalated pretty quickly. I was in Georgia with my girlfriends and I, literally as we were getting ready to come back, we were realizing how bad it was. We got at home. I had this moment of like, but I'm supposed to be going back to la. I'm supposed to be in Wisconsin, so let's go to Florida. I have six different flights booked between now and mid May. All this travel. I was going to San Diego, I was going to Marco. Like all these places, I need to get on a plane and go back to la. And then I had this moment of like, no, you don't know better than the universe. You are being told that this is a time right now where you need to dig in, you need to ground down, you need to listen, you need to show up for your community. This is not your time to go back out there. And you know, by doing that, it's funny, I just wrote something on Instagram today, but I revisited my manifestation from January this morning and I wrote, I want to live lightly this year. And I meant in travel and just living lightly. But I from this will be living more lightly because I am purging a lot, right? I am purging a lot emotionally and energetically from this forced time of not running around. And you are helping me do a lot of that with your at home yoga classes, my friend.

Oh, that is so awesome. That is so awesome. The balance I'm trying to do now. And it's the 28th of March, right? So I guess we've been in here for 2015 days.

No one knows what day it is ever really, right?

I had to look, I now want to balance what I want to learn my own. Just enjoying the rest, quite frankly. You know, like no guilt, the walking for hours with my dogs, like all this stuff that by the Way I asked the universe for many times, like, please let me have more free time and time for my dogs. Coronavirus is like coming at you, buddy, right there. There's all the fucking time you could possibly want. But I don't want to totally shut the news off and just be like, oh, now I'm going to clean out my linen closet. I want to do that. But what can I do to help to help them beyond yoga? I know I'm teaching helping people at home. I want to help them and the grocery workers, EMTs. How is it money? I mean, is it just money? Should we be sewing? Should we be paying someone to sew? Should we, like, yeah. So if you or any of your listeners has any idea how we can help without putting another body next to another body, like all the kids that are starving in our country and have, have school lunches, what can we do for them? Like, you know what I mean?

Well, it's so powerful. And I think this time, like, you know, this almost at nauseam you saying, like, adversity reveals character, right? That you are seeing that you're seeing people stand up, you're seeing people serve, you're seeing people show up and you're seeing people get creative and how they can do that, Right? And it could be something, you know, like HYP is doing with getting creative with how they're delivering yoga to serve people. Or you see businesses totally pivoting and offering new things. I mean, you go on to different websites and they've got all these, you know, new offerings or new ways of connecting, new ways of communicating. Because the people who are going to get creative have to get creative right now because our whole world is functioning differently. And, you know, the people who want to serve are stepping up to serve more powerfully. And it's like, we got to keep finding these ways to keep going.

Yes, yes. No matter what our talent is or our profession is, there's gotta be some way that we can continue to get together as a community and help these people who have no choice but to expose themselves every day. You know, the opposite of what we're being told and what we have. The absolute luxury. That's what this is. It's an absolute luxury. When you did. So you're telling me you had a couple moments of feeling bad for yourself during this too?

Oh, yeah.

First happened, of course.

Yeah. I'm like, oh, no, I'm not going to be able. Like, that was my dream, that was my plan, you know, and I think that's human. Right. And I actually Called myself out. And it's funny, I was talking to Mooch about this yesterday and what I love about you, and I'm gonna. I'm gonna go here with you because you are so skilled at being able to talk and call out your own bullshit, my own bullshit, anyone's bullshit in a nonjudgmental way. Right? But you call out bullshit. You call it like you help me call out my own bullshit. But I had to call bullshit on myself and be like, you're not entitled to anything, Melissa. And I said this to Mooch yesterday, actually, when we were walking. I said, you know, I really did learn that from Layden. Like, I was feeling sorry for myself. And I looked around and I was like, I actually wasn't entitled to a healthy child. Like, what made me think, and of course I want one. Of course I wish it was different, but who was I to think that I just had this divine right and entitlement to have a healthy child? And it knocked me to the ground and humbled me. And so now when these things happen, I just ground myself down. And I'm like, is this some entitlement, some. Some way that I've convinced myself that I'm entitled to something that I'm throwing a little temper tantrum over? Right.

I mean, if you are not there to deliver that message, I am not in entitled to a healthy child. I want one, but that's not my God given right. No, I mean, like, it's your God given right to want one.

Yes.

You're not entitled to it, though. That is like, I might have to chew on that for a year, you know, and that, like, I guess where. I guess the way I was thinking about it recently is I flirted with the evilness of the news for about two hours on my way to this walk with the dogs. And it was just like the hospital conditions in New York. The people around my age having a fever of 106 for 10 days, then dropping into pneumonia, like, you know what I mean? And just one thing after the other. And our beloved New York City. Are you kidding me? Like, the, like one of the best cities in the whole world. They get it again. They're just coming out of 20 year recovery after 9, 11. And they're doing. I just get so sad for them. And then Louisiana. Is getting flattened right now, like with this disease, like, oh my God. And I started to go, okay, wait a second. Did I live every single day of my life like it was my last? And I think I can say I did. I think I Can say the way I have said yes to absolutely everything. Probably too much shit. Like, sure, I'll have another one. Yeah, I'll have a token. That looks fun. Wait, that drug does what to you? You know, like, I am. I am so open in that way. And I guess I am ready to die. I guess I am. It makes me sad because I love so many people here and I so enjoy being alive. I so enjoy this journey. But I can honestly say I've lived every day like it was my last. And if this disease comes at me, I was never promised tomorrow. I was never promised tomorrow. I walk around acting like I am, but I wasn't.

You know, like, and we're. And I love that. And I think it's like, we're worthy of it. We're deserving of it. Like, there's a difference between being worthy of something and being entitled to something. Right.

Wanting it. Yes. Yes.

People confuse those, and I think it's important to tease out. And, you know, I hope that this conversation holds space for people listening to think, like, wow, am I holding on to entitlement? Or, wow, what can I say yes to?

Yes.

Right? Or am I living each day right now like that I feel good about, no matter what that looks like for me.

Totally. Are you just let it go, whatever it is, whatever it is, whatever beef you have with someone who sat in here. Right. Or someone, like, if you were to die tomorrow from gasping an air on your own, in your own couch, was it worth that?

Yeah.

Or does it really not matter? And you could probably let it go. And really, if that does happen to all of us and we are doing that, what are the things that you're thinking about as you're leaving this world? Are you thinking about the green velvet couch downstairs? Probably not. You're probably thinking of the people that made your time here worth living, you know, like, so powerful friends and your family and all of those people are still here. Just this whole. This whole happy hour on Zoom with, like, is a blast. Like, it took a second to get into. But it's a riot seeing everybody, like, and we're rolling with it. We're rolling with it, you know?

Totally agree. I totally agree. And I know that you have yogis that are going to be waiting for you shortly and myself included. But you know what? What do you want to challenge or share or encourage for anyone listening who's, like, just kind of struggling during this time or not sure of how to use it? Like, what would you. What do you want to say to them as they kind of navigate these unchartered territory.

I would say put some, try to put some structure in your days. Maybe even set an alarm slightly earlier so that you wake up with on purpose and you wake up with intention. And with that extra time that is absolutely. Probably more quiet and maybe even if you could see it as slightly luxurious. Of course, always, always, always, always to our grocery workers or in our first responders that they don't have this luxury. But if you do, could you. Have you always wanted to journal? Have you always wanted to learn to meditate? Oprah does it. Oprah and Deepak chopra do a 21 day meditation. That would be a wonderful thing. Tara Brock, Tara B R A C H is a wonderful Buddhist meditation teacher. Jon Kabat Zinn is doing telecasts of meditation. All these things that you have always said you wished you could do. Do you wish you could hike? Do you wish you could learn how to run? Do you wish that you had time to finally read a book? Remember when we read books? I know, like, and I'm speaking for myself, I hope I didn't just out myself as the only person that used to just, like, flower a novel.

Yeah.

Like in my 20s and in my high school, like, I would just be up all day reading.

I love that.

Remember that?

Yes.

Now it's like it's the phone, the phone, the phone, the phone. I was wondering what the saturation point of the online media thing was gonna be. I think we just hit it. Notice. Does that make you feel good? Yeah. And. Oh, wow, that's a thought I'm having that's making me feel this way. I could actually shut that off and listen to Ben Harper, you know, or whatever, like some other album that reminds me of 1997 or whatever it, like, go somewhere, use this time. We have all said all we want is more time. And this is what we have all wished for in some way. For your own reasons, set some structure, write a to do list and make yourself do it. As Mel Robbins would say, you're never gonna feel like it. You're never gonna feel motivated to do half this shit. You do it anyway.

You do it anyways.

You do it anyway. That's my favorite thing of hers is just like, hashtag, do it anyway. Oh, you don't feel like it. Shut up. Go brush your teeth.

Yeah, I love that. And I just hear you challenging and encouraging and that's what you do so well. I think you challenge and encourage people to find growth. Right. And expansion through this. Right to not let this be an untapped opportunity, you know, through the challenge and stand up and serve and stand up and help and support where you can. But kind of like you said, and to bring it full circle, like you said, you can only talk in the voice that you have within, right? So, like, that voice that you. Is like your voice. But can everyone here work on their internal voice? Because service is when you can use that external voice productively. So right now, everyone can work on that internal voice, right? And then. And then you take it externally and that's, you know, what, I heard you just challenging everyone to do that is.

So good to use this time to work on the voice in which you talk to yourself and get a hold of that so that the voice that comes out of your mouth to other people is one that serves and does not. It lifts. It lifts.

Beautiful. Beautiful. Tara, where can people find you? Where can they follow along with your journey, your work, your humor, your teachings?

My Instagram is Tara Morris. My website is theloveoffensive.com I love that.

Awesome. Thank you so very much for joining us, for sharing your light, for sharing your spark, your fire. And I really hope that I know that it's going to spark others to use this time meaningfully and to be able to serve the world more powerfully.

So thank you, Melissa. Thank you so much. I'm so honored you wanted to chat. Thank you so much and good luck to everybody. Peace to everybody.