Nervous System Regulation for 7 Figure Growth w/ Melissa Dlugolecki

Welcome to the Wealth Equation podcast with me, wealth ninja, Kristen Wanch. If you want to be wealthy, but money feels like physics and the thought of making a budget makes you want to die, stick around here. We break it all down super simply. We demystify wealth so you run your money instead of your money running you. We're here to ditch the hustle, earn more, hold more and grow more simply. We're coming in hot with practical teachings, deep mindset shifts and the perfect amount of woo woo so that you become the kind of woman who creates wealth with ease. Money is a dance party if you let it be. You were born for wealth and by pressing play your up level begins. Hello beauties. I have another incredible guest to introduce you to today. I met her a few weeks ago in person at an event and she is an absolute vibe. You're gonna love her. Melissa Dugalecki is a regular person who has created irregular results and honestly if you ask me, irregular is a huge understatement there. As a bereaved mother, she worked through overwhelming pain of her grief and is now now hosts globally top ranked podcast Grief and Guts which is designed to show people what's possible for them no matter what their circumstances are. Her work's mission is to show people their possibility through entrepreneurship as she coaches and consults on business strategy and building creative ideas and always grounds into authenticity. She has built her own six and seven figure businesses and has coached thousands of into their dream life. Melissa's entrepreneurial journey is both fascinating and full of surprises. Not only did she start amidst a painful grief journey, she was 100 grand in debt at the time she invested in her first business coach as a former high school educator. Her knowledge of business blended with her resilience and ability to teach others has been the perfect recipe for an incredibly unique and powerful path. In addition to building a business empire, she signed a publishing contract with Michael McCallowicz, New York Times best selling author who has built several multi million dollar companies and is currently working on her second book. Welcome Melissa. So good to have you here.

Thank you. So good to be here.

Oh, so fun. I actually didn't realize the Michael McCallowicz thing.

Yeah. Yes. And it's, it's one of those stories of trusting coincidences because I met him at a profit first training and we just kind of clicked and kept the relationship, you know, in communication. We did some business work together and then totally unplanned of course. Right. But planned. We're now partnering in the publishing of my first book and then we'll be working on the second.

Oh, so fun. I love that. So for everyone who doesn't know Michael Michalowicz or Profit first, do you just want to give people a bit of, like, a brief on Profit first because it's such an incredible book and maybe an inside peek at to the work that you're doing with him?

Yeah, absolutely. So the Profit first method. I read the book when I was in my own business, Mastermind as a student, and I was so impacted by just the realness of the Profit first method, which Mike Michalowicz created as a solution for entrepreneurs to not be living paycheck to paycheck, to not feel broke and to feel empowered in their cash flow. And so I looked it up, and I'm like, where is he doing a training. I have to go. And so I went to his training, and I didn't realize he had written other books. And while we were there, told him how I was writing a book or working on a book in honor in memory of my daughter Layden. And he was like, oh, you should come to my Author up event. It's all about publishing books. And I'm like, oh, you do that. He's like, profit first are just one of my books. I have, like, eight New York Times bestsellers, Melissa. And I was like, oh, I thought you were just the Profit first guy. And it turns out he's just an incredible author entrepreneur. And he consulted on my business. And a couple of years later, I messaged him, hey, I'm selling my business. Do you want to buy it? He said, no, but what are you doing? And I said, I'm not sure I want to write and speak. And he said, I've been waiting for this. Let's get on to Zoom. And then we partnered, signed a contract, and just got our publishing deal.

So fun. I love it. I love it. It's just such a testament to the magic of, you know, synchronicities and how. How things. Certain things unfold. Tell us about what your, you know, the Profit first piece, it's. It's really, you know, probably unusual for a lot of women to read a book about money and profit and be like, I need to go to that conference. So what were some of your biggest takeaways around the Profit First Method? That. Because I think a lot of women sort of shy away from numbers, and it's like, oh, they're not. Not fun. It's a chore.

I totally shy away from numbers. And as an entrepreneur, what I always tell you is that your business will Require things of you outside of your comfort zone. And so for me to be successful in running my business and to coach others to be successful in theirs, this was a skill set I really needed to learn because I hated it. Like when I told my dad I was going to this training, he was like pretty much like spit out his drink. Like what? You know, like you, you wouldn't even let me talk budgeting with you or anything. And I hate the numbers. But profit first makes it very simple. And I'm actually, I went and got profit first certified. So I am profit first certified. And I was the only non accountant there. And I was like, well I'm a business coach. Like if I'm going to be able to coach my entrepreneurs, like I, I want to learn the skill set. And I think it just also really speaks into the willingness to do what it takes to, to see your vision come to life. Because if I just did what felt comfortable, I wouldn't have done that. But my vision is to be a source of possibility and fuel for other people. And that requires me to harness and hone in skill sets outside of maybe what feels completely natural to me.

So interesting. How do you, how do you think about the difference between alignment and outside of your comfort zone? Like how do you know if something's not in alignment or it's just not in your comfort zone?

I mean that takes a strong level of discernment and I think an amount of doing the work. I work with a lot of spiritual, like really heart centered, soul led entrepreneurs and one of the things I really support them with is are we saying it's not in alignment? Are we avoiding it? Because we'll very often avoid the thing that's uncomfortable. So what I look at is what's the greater picture versus the in the moment. So if the greater picture is, you know, for me, the greater picture was for me to be the most potent, you know, resource that I could be for my clients. Well then doing something like getting profit first trained actually is in alignment even if it's not comfortable. So I think when we're looking at alignment, it gets to come back to our vision. What's our vision? And is what we're looking to do or looking not to do in alignment with our vision and it can be in alignment with our vision and out of our comfort zone or if it's not in alignment with our vision, then amazing. Let it go now. There are some times where, you know, you might wake up on a certain day and it's, it's in alignment. With your vision to record the webinar, record the podcast, or record whatever it may be and you're not feeling well or just energetically you don't have it. And then I think it's an alignment to shift when you're doing it and not force it because energetically it won't be on. But we want to look at how often am I moving and shifting things and what's the feedback there. Does that make sense?

Yeah, totally. Totally. I think that discernment is a big piece of it. And for anyone that doesn't know about the profit first method, what are maybe like two or three things people could take away and start implementing that would be valuable for them around that?

Yeah. Well, ultimately, other than having one big piggy bank that you're just kind of pulling from, it actually supports you in having multiple piggy banks. So say you get your pay or your money. You would put a certain percentage in owner's pay, a certain percentage in operating expenses, a certain percentage in profit, and a certain percentage in taxes. So that you're planning for taxes, but you're actually also planning for profit. You're planning for your own pay, and you're planning for operating expenses. And now you're working off of what is in each piggy bank rather than making decisions based on one massive one where oftentimes we'll take on more expenses than we can operating expenses, we don't trim the fat or we're just not empowered in our decision making. And now we're. We're taking it out of our owner's pay piggy bank or our profit piggy bank. And we're not actually seeing the fruits of our labor.

Yeah. And I think it gives you clarity. Right. Instead of people try to just manage all their money from their. From their mind. It's like expecting it all to be, you know, separated and organized and clear in your brain. It's like the mind isn't meant to. To organize things like bank accounts.

Right. And what was interesting for me when I got trained where I was at this time in my business, you know, my former business partner and I had built our business to seven figures online and. But we kept kind of having that, like, is this too good to be true or what if this stops? You know, but at this point, we had done it for a couple years, but we still hadn't really looked at how are we investing in our business. And we actually had such an overflow in our operating expenses account, so we were constricting our growth by not taking some money and investing it back into our business with team or with, with, you know, strategy or with other things that could actually give us more time and financial freedom. And so for us, the profit first method really helped us at looking at like, wow, we've got this money in our operating expenses account. Our opex are really low. So what can we invest in in our business that's going to grow us and actually give us more time freedom? And that was at that time a team.

And how do you decide, you know, say you have that overflow sitting there. How do you decide what you need to invest in next when you think about your business growth?

So as a business strategist, I'm always, every month, the process that I follow, it's like you're not even deciding. The business is deciding for you. And if you have the process to see the data and to see like the holes and to see the bottlenecks. And holes are different than bottlenecks. Think of holes like pouring water into a cup and then water just keeps coming out because there are holes. And then think of a bottleneck almost like a kink and a hose. Like it's a kink in there that's stopping things from flowing. And every business has both bottlenecks or kinks, right? And holes and, or gaps, whatever you want to call them. And so when you are clear on what those are, actually it becomes very easy to look at where you get to invest and prioritize for you to.

Grow and how do you get clear on where those things are?

So, I mean, I follow a strategy like a certain road mapping system that I've used now for over five years, every single month. And when I started using this system, my business went from $5,000 to $500,000 in just six months. It is, it, it takes a little bit of learning in the beginning. And when you get it down, you fall in love with it because it makes everything so easy. Like, the data doesn't lie, the gaps don't. Like, the gaps show, the bottlenecks show. And instead of waking up, like, what am I supposed to do today? Or making decisions of emotion of like, I feel like this is most important for my business. We're actually looking at what is most important for my business. Funny thing is, like, I, I started, I tested this different type of Instagram post on, on my, one of my business accounts. And it was more like, you know, it was, it was trying something we hadn't done before. And I did one a week. And I said to my business partner yesterday, I don't know if I'm going to continue that. Like, I don't, I don't, I don't think it had a huge impact. And honestly, my subconscious and emotion was like, I don't really want to do it. It was a lot of work. Right. You know, I don't, I don't think we need to do it. And then just today I had my team pull all the numbers. Well, of those four posts that I tested out, two of them were the top two posts of our entire month in terms of reach and shares. And so I went back to him and I'm like, well, I guess I get to continue these, right? And that's one little, very simple example of how the narrative in our head will bias what we're doing over and over and over and over and over again. So if you want to grow and protect your business, you actually have to remove the emotion and the narratives and the filters of our head from the decision making process. And then we get to bring our emotion and our heart and what feels, you know, right to us and maybe how we're creatively expressing or marketing or serving people and bring the creativity there.

I love those examples. And yeah, we can. It's really easy to come up with stories around, you know, whether things are working or not or how well they're working. When you actually look at the numbers, it's like an entirely different, an entirely different story. It's fascinating. Yeah, tell us about. So you, I mentioned in, in the intro from, you know, a hundred grand in debt to a seven figure business. What were some of the things that, you know, obviously there's a huge gap there and so many milestones and, you know, actions and, and pieces of growth along the way. But what were some of the things that you ran into in that journey that you never expected you would have to run into or things that people, you know, probably don't realize about what it took to get there?

I mean, definitely investing when I was in debt, like, it made no sense. It made no sense. Like I lied to my father about it. I'm like, yeah, dad, that mastermind I joined was pretty. And it was a $6,000 investment when I was $100,000 in debt. That was a huge one, I would say. Oh, a couple others just came through. One was actually how much was going to flush up in my own life from growing my business, like putting stuff on social media. Like, I deleted my first couple posts. I was afraid to be seen. I was afraid to be too much. I was afraid that my grief journey was too heavy. I was afraid people were going to judge me and say, oh, look, she's happy her daughter died. Look at her. You know, like, I created all these stories, and what my business was showing me was how much I was giving my power away to fear and worry of other people's opinions. And so it's like you break through that, but then your business shows you the next place, right, that you get to grow. And so I think the level of personal growth that can happen, and I really only believe it happens through business strategy. It's the masculine structure and framework that flushes up what's not working, and it will flush up what's not working in your business, but it will often also show you it's not working in your life. And that's actually why I'm so passionate about what I do, what I do. Like, I don't just build people's businesses. I change their lives. And that I didn't expect. And I also think something I didn't realize was going to be how much more feminine I was craving in my personal life by shifting into much more masculine in my business and how much nervous system regulation work was going to be important for me because entrepreneurship can be like a fire alarm is going off a lot and can put you in that fight or flight. So I think, you know the life lessons for sure, and, you know, there's no finish line. I still have coaches and I still risk, and I'm still getting nervous. And now instead of seeing the point of fear as a stopping point, I see it as the starting point. Like, oh, unless I go to that point of fear, I'm playing in my comfort zone. If I'm playing in my comfort zone, I'm not gonna grow. So how can I love finding my way to that point of discomfort and that point of fear and know that's exactly where the growth begins.

Very true. I find a lot of people see fear or feel fear, experience fear, and think it's a problem or think it's a sign that there's something wrong. And it's. It's actually not. And I. I believe that in order to, you know, create results, make money, build your business, like, take action. The goal is not to be fearless. I think the ability to hold fear and to be, you know, uncomfortable or to be uncomfortable, to be okay with the amount of uncertainty and your capacity to. To hold that uncertainty is, Is really what allows you to create success. When you mentioned nervous system regulation, I guess for me, my, you know what I've experienced running and building a business is that it's really, like you said, important to, as you grow your capacity like you, you have to be able to handle more. Right. And, and being able to manage your. Your own regulation, your own nervous system, your own emotions. How do you. What tools have you kind of built or integrated over the years to help your nervous system support as you've scaled to the level you have?

Yeah, nervous system regulation has been huge for me. You know, hot and cold therapy is. It's widely talked about, but it's. It's massively effective because you're essentially putting your body in fight or flight and learning to build safety in that. The first time I got in a cold plunge, I could only get up to my knees and I was crying, and I realized how much trauma had been stored in my body, probably from, you know, one, entrepreneurship and. Or fight or flight. But two, really, you know, the loss of my daughter Laden. And even though it had been years and I had done work in the mind and I worked with plant medicine, I've done all the healing. There's something really different about tending to your nervous system. So hot and cold therapy is huge for me. It's. How can I find comfort in the discomfort? How can I sit comfortably in something that's wildly uncomfortable? And how beautiful of a mirror is that for entrepreneurship? Because as we just talked about, if you're going to be growing, you're at your edge, which is uncomfortable. So how can we begin to find comfort in that? Silence, believe it or not, might sound simple, has been a huge one for me. I will take vows of silence, like at least one Friday afternoon through Friday evening through Saturday at about noon, where I don't speak a word out loud. And the thoughts and the healing that comes through and just being me, with me and in silence is unbelievable. Like, I'll journal, I might even listen to something, but I won't actually speak out loud. And that alone has done so much regulation of being in this stillness and not always having to go, go, go, go, go. And then in the morning, not reaching for my cell phone right away, like, I cannot wait. And in the morning, I do my own manifestation and energy practice. And I. I kind of check in, I move some energy. And it's like, it's also for me to get an idea of where I'm at in any given day. And I also say my dog Tahin really helps me. Like, when I walk her, I know where my nervous system is at, because if I'm getting impatient when she's like, taking an hour smelling a leaf. I know that I'm at capacity, and I get to, like, create more space and calm the nervous system down.

Oh, so good. I relate to a lot of that. I love the, you know, the silence piece. I've never. It hadn't even occurred to me to spend. Yeah. To spend evenings or days in silence. One thing I've noticed is I used to be, like, massive consumer, and I still love podcasts, and I always would have a podcast on in the car, and now I'm like, I actually really desire silence. Like, I won't. I don't want to be consuming. Like, I just want to be in my own energy. And I found. I think we all go through phases, but I found that to be really supportive for me recently, too. So I. I relate to a lot of that.

Yes, 100%.

What are some other weird things you do behind the scenes that nobody. You don't really talk about?

Oh, I mean. I mean, I have, like, a vibration plate. Like, it's an actually nervous system regulation lymphatic drainage, like, in my kitchen. And I will just, like, have you ever seen it? It's like those. It's like a. Literally a vibration plate that you stand on and it just shakes your whole body.

No, but I love it.

Yeah, it used to be used by, like, Olympians training. It's really good for recovery, but ultimately it's good for recovery because it's good for lymphatic drainage. And for me, it actually really calms me. It kind of reminds me of, like, babies and, like, the little vibrating swings, you know, like bouncers. So I'll literally hop on that, like, If I have 10 minutes between a zoom. That was one. You know, another thing that I really practiced for a long period of time. And at first it was unintentional, and then it became very intentional with celibacy and really harnessing my own creative juices and intentionality with what is literally or figuratively allowed in my environment. So that was one as well. And then, you know, I don't think there's anything really like, I'm pretty. I kind of just work. And I like nice dinners. I like to work out. I like my hot, cold therapy. And I, you know, do my full moon ceremonies, new moon ceremonies, you name it.

Love a little good. Love a little moon ceremony, for sure. Tell us more about the valve celibacy. Like, how did that come about? And what were some of the impacts that you've had from. From that piece of it? Yeah.

So it wasn't intentional. I Coming out of my last relationship, which had been for a long period of time, there was a lot of betrayal and hurt and pain associated with sex, whether or not it was, you know, me directly or somebody else. But I'm not gonna get into all that. But I had realized at this time I kind of had a history of associating, like, sex as something that could be weaponized or used to manipulate or control and. And very transactional. And so I got to really commit to healing, really healing that. And I did. I did. So I did a lot of work, you know, whether it was reading or coaching, you know, the way I actually began talking to my body and connecting with my body. Then I began studying sexual transmutation, which was part of a journey that I did in Peru, where part of the Dieta, where you're cleansing your whole body, you are, you know, it is recommended not to have orgasm for 30 days. Leaning up, leading up to working with the medicine. And I was like, that's really interesting. And I wanted to know why. So I began studying it, and I came across sexual transmutation. And then, you know, as an entrepreneur, your creative juices are very important. And I'm like, wait, I can leverage this to work for what I'm creating? Like, oh, this is, like. This is juicy. You know, literally. Literally, Right. And so then it just became about. I'm. I'm actually not willing to compromise the sacredness of what I can harness and use in my own life and in my own energy and channel and transmute for what I'm creating in the world. And so, you know, I just. I was open. It wasn't like I had a deadline or an end date or anything like that, but it was, you know, like, better. You. Like, it was. It was more just along the lines of, like, valuing me and my energy and my worth, rather than restricting, if that makes sense. Like, I never felt like I was restricting. I felt like I was just choosing me, day after day, my energy. What am I creating? What am I doing? How am I using my power for? I'm growing. And that was powerful for me because historically I had used, you know, a lot of my power for what other people were creating. And it was like this whole kind of practice of worthiness, I guess, if that makes sense.

Yeah, definitely. And I love just the ability, it sounds like, for you to just like, question the way people typically do things. It's like, is this something. This something is that's worth exploring? Is this something that could serve me? And, like, how could this benefit Me, it's. And yeah, taking your power back around your body. I love it.

Yeah. And your body and your energy and like I wish they taught that at a younger age. Like there's actually a massive energetic exchange that happens through intimacy and you can have it through emotional intimacy or physical intimacy, but there is a massive swapping of like energetic vibration and exchange and like can we look at that as sacred? And what do we want to allow into our space and what do we, what spaces do we want to be in, you know, in our relationships, in our friendships? I mean I don't just apply this concept to intimacy, I apply it to my whole life. You know, who gets to be in my environment and what environments am I putting myself in and be really discerning with that because it impacts everything you're doing and creating.

Boy, what was it like for you around? You know, you started as a teacher, right? And the decision, I know you've been through a lot of different things along the way, but the decision to not just start your own business but to, to grow to where you have, I'm curious where, how you've managed to navigate. I don't know what's come up with your family as you, you know, expanded into this place or you know, other people. I think a lot of women fear what other people will think about them or you know, work through like will it be weird with like partners or family or any thing as they start to really earn a significant amount of wealth. And I would just love to hear what you've experienced in that and how you've managed to hold yourself and like have your own back so confidently along the way.

So I would say that the confidence built over time. It wasn't always there. And that's part of the beauty of just starting and going through. I think it's really important to have community coaches. It's why I, I do both one on one coaching and community. Because the power of community, particularly when you are just starting is a non negotiable to be around other like minded people who are growing because otherwise you can think like you're crazy. I mean I was a rule follower. And it's funny because you said I'll always look at things and question them. And I realized as I got older, like I don't like any of these rules, I don't want to follow any of these rules. And I grew up, I was four year class president, I was captain of my teams, I was homecoming queen, I was a Division 1 college athlete. I went to work in corporate at first, like, I was the should, and then the next should, and then the next should and then the next should. And I believed you either cared about people or money. And long story short, as you know, that ended me up very, very much in debt. But when I left my education, career, a lot of people didn't get it, you know, and out of love. And I got to really receive the fear that was being spoken as love. Like, well, what are you going to do? How are you going to be okay? Well, that's crazy. You can't, you can't grow a business on Instagram, on Facebook, and where are you going to live? And what about benefits, health insurance and all of these things that were, you know, or it's not going to last. And you really strengthen your relationship and trust with yourself. And you also understand that the people around you, they're just speaking into what they know. And if they haven't seen it done before, of course they're going to worry about you doing it. Of course. So that's where you get to really hang tight onto your vision and what you're creating. And what if I never try? You know, that was something I came back to. What if I spent my whole life wondering, what if I actually went all in on this? I don't want to look back at the end of my life and wonder what if? Because I was so worried about other people's opinions and so one, hear them as love to allow it to strengthen your self trust and your vision and your connection to your vision. And three, get around environments or communities or people who fuel you, who get it, who are doing what you're doing because it is really important.

So powerful. Can you. Do you have any examples that you can speak to around things that came up for you along the way? You know, where people might have judged something you did or, you know, where you had to really ground into that.

There was definitely a shifting of, you know, my social media presence primarily in the past, being about like sharing photos of my friends or like, this is what's going on in my life. And noticing that like, you know, the platforms in which I engage my friends and family now changed and kind of like having conversations around that or sometimes comments around, well, I saw you're doing this on Instagram, you know, and almost like a frustration that I wasn't communicating something and being able to have those conversations of like, hey, so that's actually, if you choose to be, you know, connected to me on social media, that's actually like, yes, I love being connected to Everybody. But it's where I grow my work and know that. And so if you choose to be there, like, let's keep it really separate. And just having those conversations, I think was important, or having a conversation around, I don't know, the answers to all of your questions that you're asking me right now, like, benefits, like, where will this be in five years? And I'm really just requesting that, you know, you refrain from those questions because they're just inducing my anxiety. And this is already scary enough. And when you do that and you set boundaries, you can actually strengthen relationships.

Tell me more about setting boundaries and how you navigate that, like how. How boundaries actually can strengthen relationships. That's not something I think. I think it's hard for some people to see that that's actually true.

Oh, it's so true. If you are not confident that boundaries strengthen relationships, listen up. Boundaries are like the glue of relationships because we have clear expectations, we have clear understandings. We are eliminating room for stories, interpretations. One person feeling taken advantage of or pulled at too much. And I love when someone sets boundaries with me. And I don't personally want to waste my time or energy wondering if someone's being honest with me or if they're people pleasing me or just trying to appease me. And if any of my friends set boundaries with me, I know that they're not people pleasing me. Or I'm sure someone can relate, like listening to, you know, someone says they'll do something, but they don't really want to do it, but they don't know how to set a boundary. And you energetically just feel that, you know, whether it's going to a concert or dinner or whatever it is, and you can feel the, like, the resistance. And that will hurt a relationship. It will create an environment for resentment down the road. And I work with clients who I say like, hey, you're not setting a boundary. And now you're resenting that person because you didn't set a boundary. Both of those are on you. But the truth is, most people aren't aware of that. And boundaries create safety. It's the masculine boundaries create the safety, the structure and the framework for the connection and the feminine to flow.

Oh, you're speaking my language, girl. Yeah, I couldn't. Couldn't agree more. I think that masculine. Having that masculine structure, I like. And just to pull out that word, you said safety, like, it feels good to have clarity and to have that structure, and it's, you know, having that around your money and around your business is. Is really important. And, and it feels good.

Yes, 100%.

I'm curious, as you built the business, you know, I, I think a lot of the time people think that there's going to be a certain level of income or money they get to where they won't ever have worries about money or they won't have any scarcity come up or, you know, they think that the more money is going to fix any scarcity they have about money. Do. What's your relationship to money like now? And how has it sort of changed over time? And, and how have you ever run into scarcity along the way? Or how has that come up for you?

Oh, of course. I mean, I have. I. Here's the thing, it's all just energy. So unless you do the work to heal your relationship with money, which is an energy source, and how you energetically relate to it, it doesn't matter how much money you make. You will create the same energetic dynamic whether you are making a hundred dollars, a hundred thousand dollars, or a million dollars. And that's something I learned along the way. Like, if you're, if you are subconsciously comfortable in a certain dynamic, you're going to continue to have that. And I've seen people do it where they're hoarding, right? They're hoarding. They're just hiding all their money instead of allowing their money to grow them more money, right, by investing or hiring. I've seen people that always live on the edge. Like they have to. They live on the edge. They live on the edge, and no matter how much money they're making, they live on their financial edge. It has nothing to do with the paycheck. It has to do with your relationship to money. So. And it's why I think money mindset is so important. It's a big part of what I do. You know, we get to trust that money. Money can't necessarily. We're not creating money. I mean, like, I think, I don't remember, it might have been you, but somebody said at this, at the talk that we met at was, you know, the pressure to create money. And I'm like, well, we're actually not the ones creating money in our work. We're creating the environment to claim it. We're creating the environment to receive, right. In exchange for what we're putting out there. And the more we can look at money as something like food, it just comes to us, it moves through us. We use what we, you know, we use what serves us, we discard what we don't need or we Put it back, you know, out into the world and then we let it go. And the more that we can just look at money with that fluidity, the better. And that's been something I continually practice on. I, one of my, I have a couple of coaches and mentors and one of them is primarily focused on finances and management and mindset and all of that. Because, you know, sometimes the, when you're playing a bigger game too, you can feel more like, what if this is all taken from me and I can't allow myself to go to that space just like I couldn't at any stage. So I don't think it matters. I don't. I've never met somebody who's been like, I hit that dollar amount. I am complete. I've never met anyone. And I've worked with six, seven, eight figure entrepreneurs.

Yeah, there is no mountaintop you get to. And I love that you've, you know, communicated your investment in your own growth at every level. Because it's, you know, back to the analogy used around the Olympic athlete, right? It's like Olympic athletes don't show up to the Olympics without a coach or without support or without, you know, having, having that container around them. And, and I think that as you grow to each new level, it's like you just need more and more support. Whether it's, you know, coaching and that kind of container or nervous system, regulation or, you know, all the things.

Totally. And I think, you know, like my coach is like always says, like, you can't invest less in yourself than your clients invest in you. Meaning if you know, my clients are investing $5,000 a month to work with me, I get to invest more than $5,000 a month in my own coaching. And I think that's really important. I think I see a lot of people kind of out of alignment. And you want to talk about alignment. How in alignment is it if we're telling other people to invest in us but we're not investing in ourselves? Like someone wants to have a conversation on alignment. That's the one I want to have.

It's.

Even if it's just a tiny amount, where are you actually investing in yourself if you are standing embodied for people to invest in you? And so I just continue to invest at numbers that I still lie to my dad about. But I always see the value in the roi. And more than anything it allows me to feel like I'm an integrity. And when I stand for people to invest, when it's scary, I'm like, I get it. I still do the same.

Yeah. At that level, I. I totally relate to that as well. The last. I think my parents. I don't even know how it came up in conversation, but the amount I paid for, the last mastermind I was in, my stepdad nearly fell off his chair.

And.

And they, like, I totally understand where they're coming from. Right. Because first of all, they're not running a business, but they don't. They're not thinking in the same way about what that money can do. And so I think that that's. That's really important. Like the people that you take advice from or listen to or the people that might judge your decisions, it's like, are they. Are they trying to create the same things? Do they have the same, you know, experience you have? Are they making decisions from the same place? You are so.

Right, right. 100.

And what do you think? There are many, many people. I mean, you work with many entrepreneurs. There are many entrepreneurs that never, you know, really reach the level that you have. What do you think? And maybe it's easy, maybe it's not. To boil it down to one or two things. Why do you think you've actually gotten to where you are versus, you know, all of the other people that never do?

I would say that it is my willingness to invest in people who are. Who can get me further my integration of the business strategy to be my roadmap. Because if I was the roadmap, I would have taken me a million different places and allowing myself to be fully committed to the structure to create the roadmap and the feedback and the data, and then working on my own mindset, my own energy, my own. All of that. So those three things, right? Having coach, coaches, and mentors, being fully committed because we cannot. I do not, rather, I do not attach to the result, I attach to the process because we can't control the result. But my commitment to the process and the strategy and the roadmap is unwavering and very consistent. And through that, the results come. But then my commitment to doing my own work on my mindset and my energy, because you can have, like, the best offer, but if people feel your vibe or your energy or it just feels, like, weird or off, they're not going to want to work with you. And so my commitment to my own growth, my own energy, my own boundaries, my own nervous system, regulation, Right. Whether it was celibacy, whatever it was, I think those three things have been like, you know, a recipe for me to continue to grow in the ways that I am.

Well, thank you for being such an expander, like, possibility for so many women out there that, you know, look at your journey. And if you. If you haven't heard Melissa's story, I know we didn't. We didn't go into a lot of it today. I'm sure she shared that on other podcasts, but it is just incredible, you know, what you've really processed and overcome to get to the place you are. And it's a testament to, you know, the intention and energy that you really put into this and put into your client work and your impact in the world. So thank you for doing that.

Thank you so much. Yeah, it's an honor to share. And for those of you who don't know my story, you can definitely find a lot of it on the online, you know, and other podcasts I've been on. But I'm a bereaved mom, and so everything that I do, honestly, the work that I do, the possibility I stand for, is an honor in memory of my daughter and nothing needs more. So thank you.

So beautiful. Is there anything else you want to share with the listeners before we wrap up?

No, just, you know, to. To keep moving forward one day at a time, to have compassion with yourself. If there's a day you can't get out of bed, it's okay. There's a day you're feeling on fire. Like, go light up the world and put the supports in place. Like, it's not just about you. What environment are you creating around you or putting yourself in? Because the environment is everything. And I really believe the world needs more good people making massive impact. And my guess is if you're listening to Kristen's podcast, you're a good human. So go make impact. The world needs it.

Oh, I couldn't agree more. Thank you for that. And thank you to everybody tuning in. We will pop all of Melissa's links in the show notes so you can find her. And I know she would love to hear from all of you guys. And if you're interested in her work, you'll find all of it. There's a lot. Thanks for everyone tuning in, and we will see you right back here next week. It's a gift to vibe with you here every week. If you're digging the content, I would be honored if you'd leave a rating, a review, and subscribe to the show. Not just for me, but it's how women just like you find the pod. It truly is how we can all make an impact. More women being ridiculously fucking wealthy and building a life of their wildest dreams.