Be Excited to Grow into God's Version of You

On today's episode, we are going to talk about being excited to grow into God's version of you. But first, we need to explore the difference between mental illness and mental health. I'll then explain the difference between therapy and coaching. I want to share a fantastic idea I heard on the Ed Mylett podcast about God creating a perfect version of you. Which honestly really sparked my vision and idea for Forward Path. We'll then discuss biblical encouragements for your growing in our design and some practical ways to do so. Hey friend, welcome to Forward Path with Melissa: Life and Marriage God's Way. I'm Melissa, small-town Iowa girl, wife to my best friend since 2007, mom of 2 Mental health therapist since 2009 and founder of Forward Path. I'm forever grateful that God took a shy, insecure kid and showed her who she really is in Him, giving her just enough humble confidence to stand for what's true, because that changed everything. Forward Path and this podcast is the stirring God wouldn't let go of in my heart. Because the world can feel heavy and dark, and we're called to be different, to shine His light, especially in our homes and marriages. So every week we are going to open scripture, pull from real-life counseling experience, coaching knowledge, and talk honestly about the messy and the beautiful, how to disagree well, love deeply, heal, parent with purpose, and keep walking forward with with Jesus, because your growth isn't just about you. It's about glorifying the one who designed it all. So grab your coffee. Let's walk forward together. So first, I want to explain the difference between mental health and mental illness. They seem to get used interchangeably, but there are some important distinctions. So first, let's start with mental health. Mental health is defined as The condition of being sound mentally and emotionally that is characterized by the absence of mental illness and by adequate adjustment, especially as reflected in feeling comfortable about oneself, positive feelings about others, and the ability to meet the demands of daily life. That's a long definition, but this is what we want. So we want adequate adjustment, Comfortable about yourself, overall positive feelings about others, and able to function well in your daily life. So then the definition of mental illness, it's then defined as a dysfunction within the brain that negatively affects someone's thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and interferes with their ability to live a full life in society. So that's the important distinction. Mental illness gets in the way. It interferes with your ability to live a full life in society. It's like walking through life with a filter, so coloring everything you do. So having conversations through a lens of depression or looking at the world through a filter of anxiety. Do you remember that ad? And it was for some medication. I think it was a depression medication where the little character walked around with the little cloud over top of their head, right? Where they were participating in life, but this little cloud was over them. That is a perfect example of what mental illness is. But we were created for so much more than this. But in an attempt to not stigmatize mental illness, we've normalized it. This isn't supposed to be your status quo. You shouldn't have that little cloud following you everywhere. Now, this isn't to shame someone who's struggling, but the opposite of shame isn't supposed to be normalize. It's supposed to be to support and encourage so the person can move out of mental illness and back to mental health. Because we didn't want somebody to feel bad with where they currently are, We've stopped encouraging them and reminding them that it can be so much more. If we look at the numbers, so the number of Americans taking mental health prescription medication has increased by 6.4% in the last year, indicating that 65 million people, that's 1 in 5, are now prescribed medication to help them cope with stress, Anxiety, and depression. And I'm not anti-medication. There's certainly a place for medication, but what I've seen in the last few years is mental illness is becoming an identity. Prescription medication are starting to be viewed as the only way to help with those situations. It stopped people from recognizing that they do have a choice. They don't have to be living like that, but— If it becomes your identity, it just is. People are adopting it as who they are. It's being viewed as their constant, as opposed to something that they're currently dealing with, but the hope that they will be able to work through and move on from. Because mental illness is becoming an identity, It's also become a way to create and form relationships. Again, there's a difference in feeling ashamed of what you're dealing with. That's not something we ever want to have happen, but there's a difference in wanting to wear it as a badge of honor, to again, have it be who you are. I've had multiple conversations with therapy clients in the last few years, especially are teens and young adults who were actually fearful of getting better. And that can happen for other reasons that actually I'm going to address in a later episode. But for these clients, they were afraid to get better because they were afraid they were going to lose friends. They had connected and built friendships based on the fact that they all were emotionally struggling. That was their bond. And they were worried that their friends would think they had been dishonest. about their mental illness because the thought has turned into, this is who you are and who you remain. My clients actually weren't sure they wanted to be healthy. The idea scared them. And again, it scared them because they were worried that the people weren't going to want to be friends with them, that the people would believe that it was something that was just a fad or a trend or something that they were doing. something that they were just making up for a period of time, as opposed to recognizing that it's supposed to be maybe a bump in the road or a period of time that we're struggling with, but it's not supposed to be our constant. And we're certainly not supposed to hold each other back. We're supposed to encourage each other, you know, be each other's cheerleaders. And that's what we want for each other, to have it be what's best. We're also not meant to have a fixed mentality. This idea of, it is what it is, that's going to keep a person in stagnation, or worse, victimhood. There's a significant difference between victim of and survivor of. Think of that. Victim of or survivor of. That lands so much different. It's recognizing that Both people had things go on in their lives, but one is remaining there versus the other one, the survivor of, is being able to say, and I was able to move on from it. And that's not to diminish it took place, not at all. The focus is on the resiliency. It's on the growth of. It's the ability to say, that situation won't define me. And that's how we were created. We are created to have a growth mindset, to seek more, to live in abundance. So if we look at what is therapy? So therapy, as I was taught way back in grad school, was to help a person go from mental illness to mental health. Well, certainly not everyone who goes to therapy is in a place of mental illness, but Their therapy journey tends to be shorter and likely could have been addressed in coaching. And we'll get to that in just a moment. But my therapy clients have also come from all walks of life and are at different points in their spiritual journeys. So their level of mental illness and mental health have vastly differed. For that reason, there's no one way to do therapy. And truthfully, I'd be really wary of any therapist who only follows one therapy modality. Unless they're also only willing to see one type of mental illness. In that case, that would make sense. However, I would like to share with you Peter's advice as a template for understanding how I approached my Christian therapy process. So this is obviously different than my non-Christian clients. I would focus on 2 Peter 1:5-6. So even if I didn't share this with my clients, this in my head was kind of my template. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness, and to goodness knowledge, and to knowledge self-control, and to self-control perseverance, and to perseverance godliness. Faith is the cornerstone of Christianity— the belief in God and our salvation through the resurrection of Jesus Christ. So faith is supposed to be the starting point in all situations for Christians, However, for someone with a significant mental illness, that's obviously not where I could start because first and foremost, I had to do whatever I could honestly to keep them alive. So let's go back to part of the definition of mental illness. So it interferes with his or her ability to live a full life in society. So If that person is struggling with suicidal thoughts or self-harming behavior, they're dealing with substance use, or they're participating in their day rarely outside of their bed, maybe they're struggling with aggression, sometimes homicidal thoughts. If those are the situations that a person is struggling with, those are the situations that require crisis intervention and safety plans. So until we were able to keep them safe and consistently safe, we had to focus on those. Now, once we were beyond those life-threatening situations, we could start to focus on faith. So faith is a belief and view of God, their relationship with God, their daily applications of faith, whether that was their Bible reading, studying, praying. So At this point of therapy, the emotions are raw. Again, we are just getting started, and whether that is the ability to start right away, or if that's following some of these safety situations. So once they go and are able to go from faith, then we can start discussing the template of goodness. That would be more of the moral integrity, honesty, and uprightness. So through the conversation about faith, my clients and I are often able to then address the areas in their lives that aren't going well. They're not beneficial in their life. So they're having negative thoughts, negative thought processes, anger, struggling with gossip, either gossip from others and they're taking that on, or they gossip, addictions, all sorts of anxiety, depression, maybe marital issues. So these are the reasons they come to therapy. We first have to shine light into these areas for them to acknowledge this is something that needs to be changed. So once there's the understanding of that, we can move into knowledge. This is the intellectual information gathering. This is the why phase of therapy. So this process focuses on education, whether it's listening or I might tell 'em to read something. There may be studying new information from different resources. I'll teach during therapy sessions, as well as then we'll do recommendations of different books, maybe Bible passages. passages, Bible studies. Gaining knowledge is about understanding why what you are thinking and feeling is happening. It's about learning your triggers and patterns, because once you understand the triggers and patterns, we can start focusing on self-control. I'll equate the work part of therapy with the self-control. So this phase is heavy on the client taking responsibility for their actions. And then applying the behavioral tools and plans created and discussed. This can be the most frustrating part of therapy for therapists, if I'm honest, because we can't change any of our clients and we certainly can't make them follow through on any of their plans. So if a client quits therapy, it's generally during this phase because self-control is Hard. Change is hard. It requires work and motivation, and there has to be a personal desire to change. That sounds maybe silly. Why wouldn't a person want to get better? But there's a lot of reasons why a person maybe doesn't actually want to get better or doesn't know how, doesn't believe they're worth getting better. Sometimes it's just the consistency. And it It takes concerted effort and there has to be the follow-through. And so that's the hard part because that leads into the potential of perseverance, right? So perseverance is the maintenance phase of therapy that leads to disengagement of services. So again, I was taught in grad school that my goal for every one of my therapy clients should be to work myself out of a job, for them to no longer feel that they need my information, advice or encouragement. Every client is gonna be different with that. The process is gonna be longer or shorter depending on what they are dealing with when they're coming into the therapy process. But the ultimate goal has always been the same for each of my clients is I want them to feel comfortable and confident to be able to do this without me. I never would want any of my clients to to become dependent on me because that actually robs them of feeling comfortable and confident in their own ability. Because then it starts turning into, they're only doing well because of me. And that's not healthy. It's not helpful. I certainly never want to become somebody's idol of sorts, right? Their growth, while maybe I provide information and support, the tools and the skills, It's them working through the process. It's them having the, honestly, the grit to do so. And I would never want to take that from somebody. So the maintenance process doesn't mean that there won't be bumps in the road, but there is a process that has been working. And so perseverance is knowing why they are working their plan and who they can count on in times of distress and where to Seek him in all their situations. So godliness, the last part of Peter's verse, perseverance, godliness. I didn't see clients in this phase as a therapist because they didn't need to see me. They had shifted back into the mental health, and with a solid understanding of their past, they're able to have confidence in who they are in the present. And this is actually where coaching can come in. So Christian coaching is about coming into the process at that self-control area where that mental health is already there. So the person wants to better their future. It's about shifting their thoughts and then utilizing tools for growth. This person is motivated, for all practical purposes, is already doing good in life, but they don't want to settle. They don't want good. They want best. They want better. They want more. And they're motivated for that more. And that's where ForwardPath comes in. So back in May of 2025, and this is really where a lot of my ideas all kind of came from, or were prompted by, I guess I should say, my husband, son, nephew, and brother-in-law went to a LifeSearch conference. At the conference, Ed Mylett was one of the speakers, and my husband thought that his talk was really powerful and got his book, The Power of One More. We both read it, and we listened to some of his podcast episodes. One of his episodes that my husband had shared with me just struck a chord. In the episode, Ed Mylett described the idea of God having created this perfect version of you, and then the process of your life was wanting to grow and work To become closer to that version as you can, to grow, to become like that perfect version. And really that idea struck me and it evolved the more I really thought about it. And it helped me to solidify the idea of Forward Path, that God is in control, that He already had this perfect version of you designed. And he's given you the raw abilities, the gifts, the talents, the passions to walk toward it. Yes, our world is broken, and people are messy. And as children, we didn't have a say. So that means there's going to be all sorts of things that have gotten in the way and maybe diverted us from that perfect person plan. But as an adult, you get to step onto that path once more. And I find that idea so exciting. I love the idea of becoming more and more like God designed me to be every day, because that's the version that's going to be so much better than anything I could do or be by myself. So every day that we abide and grow is one step closer. We can read in Ephesians 2:10, For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared before that we should walk in them. So what's your prompting? What's the I'd like to idea that keeps popping up, or the topic you're passionate about, or the area of your life you feel called to grow in? I want to challenge you this week, Listen to those promptings and convictions. Write down the ideas— the bigger, the better— the dream ventures, the ways your life would flourish if you stepped closer to who God designed you to be. Get excited! That's all for today, friend. Thank you for walking the stretch of the path with me. If today's episode encouraged you even a little, Would you do 2 things? First, hit the subscribe or follow on your podcast app or YouTube channel so you never miss an episode, and share it with one friend who you know maybe needs it. That's the easiest way this light keeps spreading. If you want to go deeper, come join the Forward Path with Melissa app and community. It's where the real growth happens between episodes. Inside, you'll get All of my courses in one place. We'll do weekly live question and answer where we'll unpack the episode together. There'll be daily prompts for your faith, your marriage, and purpose, some downloadable PDFs to keep you on track, a private community of like-minded Christians cheering each other on, some group coaching each quarter, discounts in the Forward Path shop, plus first dibs on workshops and retreats, and an affiliate program that gives you And anyone you refer a pretty sweet discount. Just head to melissagendreau.com or check the show notes for the link. I can't wait to see you there. You can also find me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube, and all other social medias at Forward Path with Melissa. Plus sign up for my email so nothing good gets past you. Until next Monday. Bye. Keep shining, keep growing, and keep moving forward God's way. See you soon, and God bless.