It's Okay to be Okay: It's NOT PRIDEFUL

Today, we're unpacking a message that's been heavy on my heart: it's okay to be okay. Growing, healing, and stepping into peace isn't prideful— it's part of the abundant life God wants for you. We'll talk about the beautiful shift in mental health awareness, but where it's gone off track, and how humble confidence frees us to glorify God without shame or comparison. Hey friend, welcome to Forward Path with Melissa. Life and marriage God's way. I'm Melissa, small-town Iowa girl, wife to my best friend since 2007, mom of 2, mental health therapist since 2009, and founder of Forward Path. I'm forever grateful that God took a shy, insecure kid and showed her who she really is in Him, giving her just enough humble confidence to stand for what's true. Because that changed everything. Forward Path and this podcast is the stirring God wouldn't let go of in my heart. Because the world can feel heavy and dark, but we are called to be different, to shine His light, especially in our homes and marriages. So every week we're going to open scripture, pull from real-life counseling experience, coaching knowledge, and talk honestly about the messy and the beautiful. How to disagree well, love deeply, heal, parent with purpose, and walk forward with Jesus. Because your growth isn't just about you. It's about glorifying the One who designed it all. So grab your coffee. Let's walk forward together. This is episode 8, It's Okay to Be Okay. It's Not Prideful. So let's start by getting clear on what we're talking about. So we know what we're comparing against. Pride, in the biblical sense, is an inflated view of self that places us above God and others. Proverbs 16:18 warns, Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. So pride says, I don't need God. I've got this. It boasts, compares, and refuses correction. Examples of prideful attitudes would be refusing to admit you're wrong, Or apologize because it'd make you feel weak. It's constantly needing to be the smartest in the room or the best, the prettiest, the most spiritual. It's looking down on others who are struggling, saying, I'd never let myself get to that point. It's taking credit for blessings instead of thanking God. That's pride. And it's dangerous because it separates us from God's grace. James 4:6, God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble. So now humility. Biblical humility isn't self-hatred or false modesty. It's an accurate view of ourselves in light of who God is. It's recognizing we're deeply loved and utterly dependent on Him. Philippians 2:3-4, do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests, but each of you to the interests of others. Humility isn't thinking less of yourself. It's thinking of yourself less. It's freedom from the exhausting need to prove your worth. What humility is not, though: it's not denying your gifts or growth. It's not, oh, I'm such a mess. when God has brought real healing. It's not staying stuck in past pain because moving forward might sound braggy. It's not equating peace with privilege or suppression. And over the last decade, we've seen a beautiful cultural shift bringing mental health struggles into the light— anxiety, depression, trauma no longer whispered in shame. We've said, you're not alone. It's okay to not be okay. Celebrities, pastors, influencers, all sharing vulnerability to reduce stigma. And friend, I'm so grateful for that because as a therapist, I've watched clients exhale in relief, knowing they're not broken beyond repair. And that shift has actually saved lives. But like many good things, it's gone to an extreme in our desire to find our people. our tribe who gets the struggle, we've sometimes let the struggle become our core identity, our comfort zone, and the thing that defines us. It's turned into a caricature. You know those exaggerated drawings at carnivals where one feature is a big nose or wild hair, my big eyes, becomes the whole focus? That's what happens. And you see it in sitcom characters too. So in season 1, someone's maybe a little quirky or sarcastic, but By season 4, that trait is dialed to 11, and the character barely resembles who they started as. Their growth stalls, and the flaw becomes the brand. And I've never been able to figure out, is that the writing has really leaned into that identity, or has the actor started leaning into that character? Either way, they're no longer recognizable, and that flaw becomes the main focus. In real life, we can do the same thing. It's, I'm a mess, starts as an honest vulnerability, but over time it becomes this lens everything filters through. Peaceful days feel suspicious, or growth feels like betrayal of the real me. And I've watched women in my practice and online communities hesitate to share victories. My anxiety is so much better, gets held back because what if someone still struggling feels invalidated? We tiptoe around healing, afraid it sounds prideful. I had one client that battled severe anxiety for years. She'd come in saying, I'm such a mess, and it bonded her with others who felt the same. But after months of hard work, therapy, medication, scripture, meditation, prayer, She started having days where anxiety didn't rule. She'd wake up calm, handle her kids without panic, even enjoy small things again. When I celebrated that with her, she teared up. She said, I feel guilty sharing this. What about the women still in the thick of it? Will they think I'm bragging or that I'm better than them? Guys, that broke my heart, and it still does. She wasn't bragging. She was healing. And she had put in hard work and trusted God. And her growth didn't diminish anyone else's journey. In fact, her story could give hope to someone still struggling. It could be, look what God can do. It's possible. She wasn't wrong in sharing her pain initially. Vulnerability builds connection. But when the struggle becomes the identity, it can hold us back from the growth God intends. Because here's the truth: Someone else's struggle Doesn't require you to stay stuck. In a previous episode, I talked about not picking up your baggage after you put it down. What I meant by that is not putting it down and growing and then picking it back up out of fear or sometimes comfort. In this situation, it'd be like not putting down your baggage because your friend is still holding onto theirs. And you don't want them to be the only one. But you can put down your baggage and be with them while they figure out how to do the same. Your growth doesn't minimize their pain, just as someone further along the path shouldn't shame those still walking through the valley. Those in the valley shouldn't shame someone for reaching flatter ground. We're not in competition. We each have our own starting point, pace and path. Not having a panic attack today doesn't mean you're suppressing your emotions. Having a calm, productive day doesn't mean you're disassociated or ignoring trauma. Feeling steady doesn't mean you're faking it or privileged. And choosing to say, I'm doing okay today, isn't pride, it's truth. It's not either/or, broken mess or perfect superior. There's a beautiful middle ground: healing, growing, human. So let's talk confidence. Confidence is a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities. Biblically, it's trusting God's work in us. Philippians 1:6: He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion. Confidence says, I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13. Now we need to remember that verse. Paul wrote that from prison. But we don't have to be in a prison. Now, it doesn't mean that a situation isn't maybe still gonna be hard. It doesn't mean that it's gonna change the trajectory of that specific day, but it's using God's strength to move forward. And whatever forward looks like for you, that is confidence in Him. That's worlds away from pride. I love using the phrase humble confidence. To me, that's knowing whose you are— God's beloved child. It's not needing constant external validation or accolades because it's feeling secure enough to step into the version of you God designed, using your gifts, your talents, your passions without apology. It's bearing fruit that glorifies Him, advances His Kingdom, and blesses others. Humble confidence isn't loud boasting. It's a quiet assurance that frees you to serve, create, lead, love without fear of looking too good or not broken enough. One client came to me after years of identifying as anxious and broken. She'd built a whole online presence around her struggles, posts about bad days, panic attacks, feeling like a failure. It helped her feel seen, but it also kept her stuck. When therapy and prayer started bringing real relief— better sleep, less panic, more joy— she panicked. She told me one day, if I post that I'm okay, will people think I was exaggerating before? We had to work on her being able to share both sides. She could have the honest struggles, but the honest growth. One post she did said, today I woke up without dread. That's new, and I'm grateful. If you're still in the dark, I see you too. But here's the hard part. So some people did tell her how much her post resonated with them and provided hope, but some comments were hurtful, and they did condemn her. But we can't control how others will react to us. I had another client who had been through deep depression after losing his job. He'd internalized, I'm a failure, and it became his identity. When he started rebuilding a new job, stronger faith, more peace, he felt guilty celebrating. Doesn't that make me prideful? he asked. And we had to define the difference between pride and gratefulness, between pride and confidence. We talked about Philippians 4:13, and he began saying, God's carrying me through, instead of, I'm still such a mess. Humble confidence let him glorify God with his healing, not hide it. It's the difference between, look how far I've come, which can be pride, and, look at what God has done in me. I'm amazed and grateful. Humble confidence. Friend, if you are in a season of deep struggle, healing is possible. You're not alone. Reach out, get help, lean on Jesus. And friend, if you've walked the hard road— therapy, prayer, surrender, tears— and now you're standing in a season of greater peace, let's shift our gaze forward. Yes, celebrating the healing. It's worth gratitude. But even more, get excited about where God is taking you now. Because peace isn't the finish line; it's the launchpad. You've put in the work cognitively, emotionally, and spiritually, not so you could just be okay, but so you could step fully into the purpose God wrote over your life before you took your first breath. How beautiful is that? That steadiness? It's space for deeper intimacy with Jesus. That clear mind? It's room for sharper discernment and bolder obedience. That lighter spirit? It's fuel for the dreams, callings, and next steps He's been pursuing and preparing you for. Saying, God has brought me into more freedom, and I'm excited for what's ahead. Guys, that isn't pride. It's faith. It's anticipation. It's aligning your heart with His. He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion. Philippians 1:6. And I watched this happen. One client spent years untangling anxiety that had kept her small, hesitant, and constantly second-guessing. After consistent work, she woke up one day and realized, The noise was quieter. She wasn't bracing for the next wave. Instead, she felt ready. And she told me, for the first time, I'm not just surviving the day. I'm excited about what I could do with it. And she realized that feeling had become her constant. As a therapist, that's where our journey ended. She didn't need me anymore. Her excitement wasn't, look how great I am. It was, look how great God is, and look at what He's trusting me with now. That's humble confidence in motion. It's knowing whose you are, so you don't need applause. It's feeling secure in His love, so you can risk stepping out, eager to bear fruit that lasts for His glory, His Kingdom, and the good of others. If you're in that season of greater peace right now, please don't downplay it. Don't shrink back for fear of seeming prideful. Don't stay parked in gratitude for the past when God is accelerating you into the future. Get excited! Dream with Him again. Say yes to the invitations He's placing in front of you now. Speak life over the next chapter. God is doing a new thing, and I'm ready To walk in it. And friends, that's where coaching can step in, helping you to embrace the next chapter, to harness the dreams and learn how to step forward boldly in your life and your marriage. I personally know what it's like to be shy and insecure, struggles with anxiety and depression, but God showed me who He says I am. That doesn't mean I never have struggles, but I do understand how to fight against them better and bring them to God more quickly. And that's the whole point of Forward Path— to grow and be excited for God's next steps for you, for you to embrace His design for your life. Isaiah 30:21, whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, this is the way, walk in it. Remember, the enemy loves when we stay silent about victory because silence steals hope from those watching. Satan wants you looking backward, rehearsing old pain. But God, He says, forget the former things. Do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up. Do you not perceive it? Isaiah 43:18-19. You've been brought through for a reason, not just to be okay, But to fully alive in Him, running, creating, loving, serving, shining. The definition of hope is confident expectation that someone or something will prevail. Hmm. That's all for today, friend. Thank you for walking this stretch of the path with me. If today's episode encouraged you even a little, would you do 2 quick things? Hit subscribe or follow in your podcast app or on the YouTube channel so you never miss an episode, and share it with one friend who needs it. That's the easiest way this light keeps spreading and you keep growing. And if you wanna go deeper together, check out my courses, coaching opportunities, or join the Forward Path with Melissa community. It's where the real growth happens between episodes. Inside, you'll get weekly live question and answers where we'll unpack the episode together, daily prompts for your faith, marriage, and purpose, and then quarterly group coaching workshops, plus a private community of like-minded Christians cheering each other on. You can go to melissagendreau.com or check the show notes for the link. I can't wait to see you there. You can also find me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube @forwardpathwithmelissa. Plus, sign up for my email so nothing good slips past you. Until next Monday, keep shining, keep growing, and keep moving forward God's way. See you soon, and God bless.