Partnering with God: Building HUMBLE CONFIDENCE & a Growth Mindset

Hey friend! Today we're chatting about something that's really close to my heart. It's from my Partnering with God coaching program. We're talking about developing that humble confidence so you can step into your God-given purpose. You know, if you've ever felt like you're just going through the motions, unsure about your gifts, or if like life's controlling you instead of the other way around, this is gonna hit home. We'll break down what humble confidence looks like, why a growth mindset fits perfectly with what the Bible teaches, and some simple Powerful ways to shift how you think so you can live boldly in the purpose God has for you. Hey friend, welcome to Forward Path with Melissa: Life and Marriage God's Way. I'm Melissa, small-town Iowa girl, wife to my best friend since 2007, mom of 2, mental health therapist since 2009, and founder of Forward Path. I'm forever grateful that God took a shy, insecure kid and showed her who she really is in Him. Giving her just enough humble confidence to stand for what's true, because that changed everything. Forward Path and this podcast is the stirring God wouldn't let go of in my heart, because the world can feel heavy and dark, and we're called to be different, to shine His light, especially in our homes and marriages. So every week we're gonna open scripture, pull from real-life counseling experience, coaching knowledge, and talk honestly about the messy and the beautiful, how to disagree well, Love deeply, heal, parent with purpose, and keep walking forward with Jesus. Because your growth isn't just about you. It's about glorifying the One who designed it all. So grab your coffee and let's walk forward together. This is episode 10, Partnering with God: Building Humble Confidence and a Growth Mindset. So this is pulled right from my Partnering with God coaching program, where I help Christians uncover their vision, Mission, and purpose. I integrate mental health tools to help you find clarity and growth because God wants you to partner with him, and it's not just to get by. So we're gonna break down what humble confidence really is, what it looks like, and spoiler, it's not arrogance, and it's definitely not shrinking back. We'll see how a growth mindset is actually woven all through scripture and share 5 practical biblical ways to start building that humble confidence in your everyday life. So you can step into the purpose God has for you with boldness and peace. If you've ever thought, who am I to do this? Or, I'm just not the confident type, or, I don't want to seem prideful, this one's for you. So let's dig in. All right, so let's start with the foundation. What even is humble confidence? Well, humble is about your posture, your approach to life. It's the willingness to serve, to put others before yourself, to encourage and lift people up instead of competing or comparing. It's the quiet strength. Confidence, then, is that deep self-assurance, not in your own perfection, but in knowing who you are as God placed in you— your gifts, your talents, your calling, and most importantly, the unshakable truth that you are a beloved child of God. of God. Now, let's contrast that with the counterfeits: the pride, that smug satisfaction that comes from my own achievements, the look what I did. Arrogance exaggerates how important you think you are. And then boasting is talking way too much about your wins, your stuff, your skills, everything that you want everyone to notice. So humble confidence is that That sweet spot in the middle. It's not puffing yourself up so you look big, but it's also not shrinking back in false modesty or self-deprecation— the, oh, I'm nothing special. It's knowing your worth in Christ so that you can securely not have to prove to anyone, and you don't have to hide it either. And the anchor verse for me, and the one I come back to time and time again, is Psalm 139:13-14. For you formed my inward parts; you covered me in my mother's— you covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are your works, and that my soul knows very well. Pause there for a second. These verses aren't ultimately about boosting our ego. They're about recognizing God as the masterful Creator. He knit each one of us together uniquely, intentionally, and wonderfully. So our confidence starts with that truth: I am not an accident. I'm not less than. I am fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who doesn't make mistakes. And then our humility, well, that flows out of the same truth: everything I have is a gift from Him, so I use it to point back to Him, to glorify His name, to serve and help people around me. I've seen this play out so many times in counseling and coaching. Women especially will say things like, I don't want to seem prideful, or, who am I to think God would use me in that way? Or, I'm just not good enough. They're afraid of the pride trap, so they stay small. But staying small isn't humility. It's often fear dressed up as modesty. True humble confidence says, God made me this way on purpose, and I'm going to steward it well for his glory. Let me share a quick personal moment. So early in my counseling career, I was uncomfortable with the idea of leading groups or speaking in front of people, but not because I was scared of public speaking, but Because I would think there are many better voices out there than me. But one day I realized I wasn't actually being humble. I was being disobedient. That little shift gave me the courage to say yes to small opportunities, which eventually led to Forward Path. Humble confidence isn't about being the loudest in the room, but it is about being faithful with what God gave you. Once we grasp humble confidence, the next part is understanding where we think control lies, what psychologists call locus of control. So some people live with an external locus of control. Everything just happens to them. Life is a series of circumstances, other people's choices, and bad luck. They feel like victims, powerless, just reacting. Others have a more internal locus. I may not control every I can't control the outcome, but I control my responses, my effort, my attitude. They see themselves as active participants. As Christians, it's actually a beautiful both. It's an and. We know God is ultimately in control. Proverbs 16:9 says, the heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. But we're still responsible for our choices, our obedience, Our stewardship. We partner with him. That partnership is where humble confidence grows. And that naturally leads us to the growth mindset. I'm sure you've probably heard that term, and it's gotten popular in education and business for years. A fixed mindset says, this is just who I am. My abilities are set. A growth mindset says, I can develop, learn, improve with effort. And time. But here's the beautiful part: a Biblical worldview actually reinforces the growth mindset. Scripture doesn't teach us to stay stuck; it teaches transformation. Philippians 1:6: He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ. 2 Corinthians 3:18: And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His image With ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. God is not done with us. The Holy Spirit is actively refining, pruning, and shaping us. Our character, our skills, even our calling— they grow because He is at work with us. That's the ultimate growth mindset: trusting that God's not finished writing your story. So how do we actually build this humble confidence through a biblical growth mindset? Well, let me walk you through 5 practical, scripture-rooted ways. First, effort as worship. The more we seek growth through Him and then put that into practice— stretching, learning, stepping out— the more we're teaming up with God's grace. Colossians 3:23 says, whatever you do, Work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for human masters. This changes everything. It's folding laundry, preparing a talk, having a hard conversation with spouse. When you do it as worship, effort stops being about proving yourself. It becomes an offering. So next time you feel stuck, ask, how can I work at this with all of my heart for the Lord? That small shift builds confidence. Without pride. 2, not yet instead of I can't. When something feels hard, a fixed mindset says, I can't do this. I'm just not wired that way. A growth mindset, especially a biblical one, says, not yet. I haven't mastered it yet, but God is growing me. Think of a skill you've improved over time, maybe cooking, Parenting a strong-willed child, or even praying out loud. You didn't arrive there overnight. Lean on Him and keep going. Philippians 4:13 reminds us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us, not in our own power, but His. Third, no need to prove ourselves. That one's such a blessing. Our worth is already settled. Because of whose we are. We're children of God. That truth frees us from the exhausting cycle of pride or shame. We can pursue excellence humbly. We're not performing for approval. Remember Matthew 16:18-19? Jesus looks at Peter, a man who would soon deny him 3 times, and says, You are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church. Jesus called out who Peter truly was, even knowing his failure was coming. Your identity in Christ isn't fragile. Rest in it and let that securely fuel your growth. Number 4: Challenges are growth opportunities. Trials aren't punishment; they're trainings. James 1:2-4, Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds, Because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. And then Romans 5:3-5 adds that suffering produces perseverance, character, and hope. And hope doesn't disappoint because God's love is poured into us. So when marriage feels hard, when parenting stretches you, when purpose feels foggy, Don't run. Lean in. Ask God, what are you building in me through this? That perspective turns pain into progress and builds unshakable confidence. And then 5, joy in progress, not perfection. Every step forward shows his faithfulness. It's exciting to grow into who God created you to be. Nehemiah 8:10, the joy of the Lord is your strength. Celebrate small wins. Thank God for the growth you can already see. It doesn't matter how small. Perfectionism can kill joy and confidence. Progress, however slow, honors Him. These 5 ways add up: our effort plus faith plus God's plan equals humble confidence and real growth. One big thing that keeps people locked into a fixed mindset is not knowing then how to manage their emotions. They feel like slaves to their feelings. I'm just an anxious person, or I always get defensive. But emotions follow thoughts, and we can partner with God to renew our minds. The simple model I use with my clients is situation, then thought, Then emotion, then we respond. You don't control every situation, but you can influence your thoughts. It's making sure that you know what is true. Do I have all of the context? Am I thinking about this based off of this situation or based off of something that's happened before? And those changes change everything. I've worked with A woman who believed that she was just bad at relationships. And so every conflict felt like proof that she'd never change. She had an external locus of control. People always let me down. We had to walk through this model, and then we tied it to Romans 12:2, be transformed by the renewing of your mind. So she started catching her thoughts. After time, it took time, and then she was able to replace the lies with truth. I am loved. I can grow. God is working in us. Over months, she became more confident in her marriage— not perfect, but resilient. Humble confidence showed up as she owned her part without blaming or shrinking. Friends, this isn't just self-help. This isn't pop psychology. It's partnering with God to steward the mind He gave you. So let's land here. Humble confidence means knowing who you are in Christ, owning your responses, embracing growth, and stepping boldly into your purpose without pride or fear. So quick reflection: where are you right now? Do you lean more towards fixed or growth mindsets? Where could not yet Replace I can't. And what's one small step you can take this week to partner with God in building that confidence? Let me pray for you. Heavenly Father, thank You for fearfully and wonderfully making each one of us. Thank You that You're not done, that You're transforming us from glory to glory. Lord, replace insecurity with humble confidence. Renew our minds. Help us see challenges as growth and effort as worship. Give us joy in the journey and strength in You. May we live boldly for Your glory. In Jesus' name, amen. Thank you for walking this stretch of the path with me today. If this encouraged you even a little, would you do 2 quick things? One, hit subscribe or follow in your podcast app or on the YouTube channel so you never miss an episode. And then share it with one friend who might need this reminder. And if you want to grow deeper, this is just a taste of my Partnering with God coaching program. It's 6 personalized sessions to uncover your unique purpose and build that lasting confidence. You can check the show notes for details. You can also grab some of my free resources like Identity in Christ Affirmations to start renewing your mind today. Head to melissagendreau.com/free-resources or click the link below. You can also find me on Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube at Forward Path with Melissa. Until next Monday, keep shining, keep growing, and keep moving forward God's way. See you soon! God bless.