In this short monologue, Mel Robbins emphasizes that women’s career advancement often hinges on having a sponsor—someone who will advocate for them in closed‑door decisions about compensation, promotions, and opportunities. She explains that while women have been told to work hard and focus on performance (what she calls “performance currency”), they must also invest in relationship currency by cultivating sponsors who are willing to spend their own influence on their behalf. Robbins advises professionals to identify who will speak for them in upcoming decision meetings, and if none is apparent, to shift focus from over‑working to building sponsor relationships. She suggests proactively asking senior leaders, like a manager named Mel, to champion them before critical discussions, noting that hoping for favorable outcomes without a sponsor is not a strategy.
Chapters
One of the most important things that I think women don't understand is that you do need a sponsor speaking for you in those rooms. As you've just articulated, every single decision about your career will be made in a room behind closed doors where you are not present. Your compensation is gonna be decided in a room where you're not present. Your promotions are gonna be decided in a room where you're not present, and new opportunities are going to get, dole out and you're not present. So somebody has to speak on your behalf in that room. And I dubbed that person back in 1990 a sponsor, because that person is spending their currency. Sponsors do spend currency. They sponsor shows, they sponsor games, they spend their currency on your behalf to make sure that you're gonna get the promotion, you're gonna get the compensation, you're gonna get the next great opportunity. And Women were told for so long that just keep your head down and work hard. And if you're doing that, we tend to overinvest, as I call it, in the performance currency. That's your deliverable. You're delivering that which is asked of you and a little bit extra, right? But you keep investing to the point of diminishing marginal utility. And what you should be doing is investing concurrently or very shortly thereafter in the relationships. There should not be a question in your mind as to who's going to spend some currency on your behalf. Behalf in that oh-so-important meeting. Somebody has to speak for you. Do you know who that is? So one of the things that I say to professionals is, especially when it's time for compensation decisions, especially when it's time for promotions, you need to ask yourself, who's going to spend some currency on me in that room? And if you can't answer that question, then you know that you need to retreat from working so hard and invest in a sponsor relationship. And sometimes you have to exercise your power. You have to say, Mel, you know, I know that, uh, You guys are going to be making those decisions about promotions. And I need somebody to speak on my behalf. You know me, you know my work, you know the client feedback, and I hope you feel comfortable spending a little currency on me behind closed doors. Now, in a perfect world, you're having that conversation long before that afternoon where it's going to happen. But worst case scenario, you don't let the meeting happen in the room when you haven't said anything to anybody, because then you're sitting there like, this. And as the great Mike Tyson said, hope is not a strategy.
