Conflict Is Necessary For Connection | Mel Robbins #shorts

Conflict is actually necessary for connection. We don't fight about the things we don't care about, right? And so when you're starting to get upset about something, you're starting to— if something rubs you the wrong way, that means that it's getting to the things that you value. It's the things that are actually give you life. Get curious about what this conflict actually is and don't assume that it's gonna end the relationship. Conflict is actually quite intimate when you actually get into a conflict with someone else, it's doing things like, uh, admitting that you're affected by the other person. Hmm. Admitting that you're vulnerable to the other person. Uh-huh. Right. One of the reasons conflict is so scary is because it's admitting that we affect each other. And so the first thing to think about is you're actually your own body. And a huge amount before I enter a room to hold a fight I'm not even a part of is physical. And the, we think of fights as physical, but actually the biggest physicality of a fight is in our own bodies. And so to think first is to breathe, to put— I literally put both feet on the ground. I think about my own purpose and intention in coming in, and then I'm still kind of shaky and my, my voice may still shake. And then to say, hey, do you have a moment? Can we talk about something? Do you have a moment to chat? I wanted to just share with you something that didn't sit well with me. And part of modern life is we actually oscillate between, again, saying nothing and suing each other. So in our cultural context where we don't have a lot of healthy heat examples, sometimes people do freak out. And so part of thinking about the cultures that you're creating in your families, particularly if you're somebody with, with some amount of social power or authority, is whatever your relationship to conflict is, is gonna be the group's relationship to conflict.