May 23rd | #SpringItOn | #CoffeeTalk with Mel

Okay, great. And we're live here too. Excellent. Good morning, how are you? My name is Mel Robbins and you're watching Coffee Talk. I am the best-selling author of The 5 Second Rule, which is now in 37 languages and helping millions of people change your lives 5 seconds at a time. And And this is Coffee Talk, which is my live weekday broadcast where I bring you behind the scenes and I give you the tools and the advice that you need in order to go about your day a little bit differently. And that will also help you go about your life a little bit differently. And we are in the middle of something called Spring It On. Do we have a workbook that I can hold up? Anybody got a workbook? Why don't you go run and look in my backpack, Soy? I think that there's a workbook in there. What is Spring It On? Spring It On is a 4-week-long experience that I'm doing where you can learn how to declutter your life, your relationships, your mind, and your habits. And right now, we are in the middle of Week 3. If this is the first time that you're hearing about Spring It On, don't you worry about it. You're not behind. This is not some sort of contest. This is a free 4-week program that I am doing with you to help you declutter your life. It's basically spring cleaning for your life. And in order to get the emails and get the free workbooks that go with Spring It On, all you need to do is go to MelRobbins.com/SpringItOn, enter your email. We will send you a welcome email that contains links to the 2 workbooks that have already gone out and the playlists on YouTube. Oh, you don't have it here? Let me have it. It's not in here? Okay, it's not in here. Oh well, I can't show it to you. If you can find it and print it out, maybe ask Dad. I'm talking to my daughter right now so I can show you what I'm talking about. But if we can't find it, we can't find it, whatever. Just go to MelRobbins.com/SpringItOn and you can get the email that will give you a link to the workbooks that have gone out and it will also give you a link to the playlists for each week. Because we've already done a friend cleanse, which is where you go through your relationships and not only look at relationships that are working or not working for you, but also your own behaviors in your friendships that are not very empowering. We've also refreshed your routine. That was last week where we talked about the science of how you wake up and the power of your morning routine and personalizing one for you. And this week we're talking about something that's so super important, which is boosting your beliefs. Okay? So, what does that mean, boost your beliefs? Well, what it means is there are specific, simple things that you can do in order to cultivate a belief system in yourself. And wouldn't it be wonderful as part of a spring cleaning of your mind, Wouldn't it be wonderful if you got rid of self-doubt? Wouldn't it be wonderful if you got rid of overthinking? Wouldn't it be wonderful if you were able to have the ability to cheer for yourself? Well, that's what this week is all about. And if that's something that you need, you better get on the list, melrobbins.com/springiton. And you'll get the workbook that will help you go through exercises at your own pace, at your own time, to catch the limiting beliefs that you have and learn how to boost your beliefs. Now, I'm gonna take a question in just a second from Hannah. And if you're wondering how you can ask me a question about belief, just use the hashtag #AskMel, use the hashtag #SpringItOn. Sawyer, if you see any questions that are specific to self-doubt or believing in yourself, please ask me. Here's my request. Don't ask general questions. General questions are really difficult to answer because the advice sounds really generic. Give me your specific situation that you're struggling with. Give me details about what you're struggling with because that makes it a lot easier for me to give you specific advice that is customized to the specific situation that you're dealing with. General questions, you're probably going to get a general answer from me. And it may not be that compelling for you to try to implement the advice because the advice sounds so darn general. So please, if you have a question, the more specific you can be about what you're struggling with in particular, the more specific advice I can give you. So here's a question for Hannah. She's doing Spring It On, and again, just go to melrobbins.com/springiton if you would like to be part of the Spring It On program. It's been really helpful for me to declutter my relationships and my routine, Mel. Your post about gratitude really sparked something for me. And this was a post that I don't have in front of me, but it's a post that was about how could you possibly be— like, before you want more, why not try being grateful for what you have? So, you know, a lot of us get into this really bad habit where we think if we have a nicer car, we'll be happier. If we have a bigger house, we'll be happier. If we're in a new relationship, we'll be happier. And the thing about, uh, wanting new things as a way to anchor your happiness, the problem with that strategy is number one, it doesn't work. And the reason why it doesn't work is because if you're unhappy right now in your life and you get a new car, you'll be happy for about 5 minutes or 5 days with the new car. And then guess who's driving the new car? You. The old unhappy you is driving that new car. Which means even though the car is a little bit nicer, you will still be the same unhappy person. Yeah, sure, you may be happier for 5 minutes because the car is shiny or new, but you haven't dealt with the fundamental issues of how you think about yourself, how your happiness is, what level it's at. And that's exactly what Hannah's dealing with. She said, "I realized I have so much to be grateful for, but at the same time, I'm never satisfied with "with what I have." Okay. So that's not really a question, it's a realization. And what I will say to Hannah is, and what I'm gonna say to you is, how do you, I think the question is more about how do you practice gratitude, right? How do you, how many of you feel like you're not grateful for what you have? How many of you feel like you could do a little bit better job of waking up in the life that you're living right now? And teaching yourself how to find reasons to be grateful. Teaching yourself how to boost your belief that even though you're in a place where you don't have everything that you, quote, "want," that you can boost your belief and be happy right now. How many of you believe that? Yes. Sawyer, can you give me some shoutouts?

There's a lot.

There's a lot. Okay, good. Do you have any comments whatsoever?

Jess Rockwell says yes. You, Wallace, says yes.

Okay, great. We're getting a lot of thumbs up and a lot of yeses. If this is you, where you recognize that there's stuff that you want, there are things that you wish that you could buy, there are new things that you want, new experiences that you want to have, but you realize, wow, I'm not even waking up in my life right now and feeling grateful for the things I have right now. If that's you, then awesome! I'm so happy you're watching this Coffee Talk because this Coffee Talk is for you. Okay? And what I want you to realize and take away from this conversation is that you can make a material difference in your happiness You can boost your belief in yourself right now without a new car, without a new job, without a new relationship. Here's how you do it. When you wake up in the morning, you can do it right now. What is something about your life or about the things that you have that you're grateful for right now? I want you to write it down in the comments, and I want you to do more than just write down what you're grateful for. I want you to write down why are you grateful for it. You see, most people that talk about the power of gratitude only tell you half the story. Most people that are out there talking about having a gratitude practice, which is important, It's about waking up and centering yourself every day on something that you're grateful for. The one mistake that a lot of people make when it comes to gratitude is you only ask yourself, "What are you grateful for?" And when you do that every day, you are going to say one of 3 things. You're gonna say, "My family." You're not gonna say your cat. My cat just walked in. Maybe you're gonna say your cat. You're gonna say, "My family." You're gonna say, "My health." And you're going to say something about something that's right in front of you. Maybe it's your cat, maybe it's the relationship that you're in, maybe it's something else. But the same 3 things come up for everybody. And that is not going to have a lasting impact on you. You gotta take it a step further. And what you do to take it a step further is you go, "What am I grateful for right now in this moment and why? Why am I grateful for it?" It could be anything from, "I'm grateful for the glasses on my face because they allow me to see clearly." "I'm grateful for the fact that I'm sitting here talking to you right now." Why? Because it allows me to do something that's really meaningful to me, which is to make a difference in your life and to share some of the things that I'm learning. I'm grateful for the fact that my stitches are healing and I'm able to sit right now. I had surgery on Monday. It went incredibly well, at least I think it did, to fix incontinence issues that I've been dealing with for more than 2 decades. And I'm really grateful. For how that procedure went. And I'm grateful for the doctor, and I'm grateful that 3 and a half days later, I'm able to actually sit comfortably even though I've had a surgery. Why? Because that's a sign that this is healing and I'm getting better. So now I want you to practice this. What are you grateful for and why? Sawyer, can you read me a couple of these?

My ears so I can hear this livestream. Being able to live on my own and support myself so I can feel self-sufficient. My strong body so I can work, work out and feel good about myself.

Awesome. My strong body so I can work out and feel good about myself. I love this one. Being able to live on my own and be self-sufficient. Now think about the difference between waking up and— let's just say that when I first lived on my own, I lived in this teeny tiny little studio apartment and I had your typical 20-something stuff in the fridge. You know, you've got basically ramen. You open up the fridge and it's kinda like, "Whoa, what's in there?" Exactly nothing. And you could wake up every day and say to yourself, "Oh my gosh, I'm behind. I can't afford to have steak in there. My apartment's tiny. There's nothing on the walls." You can wake up and look at everything that's wrong and pound yourself down. Does that boost your belief in yourself? Of course not. Or you could wake up and you could practice this strategy to boost your belief in yourself and to make yourself happier by looking around and saying, "Wow, I am so grateful. I have a job that allows me to pay for the studio apartment. I'm actually able to live on my own. I can buy some groceries. I—" I'm doing this. This is unbelievable. I'm so grateful that I have a job and that I have the ability to take care of myself. When you boost your belief in self like that, guess what happens? You actually inflate your confidence a little bit. You ride the wave of gratitude, which when you go into work, you're not beaten down, you're not telling yourself that you should be doing more, you're not feeling bad because you came from a dingy little studio apartment with nothing on the walls. You're walking into work going, "Wow, because of this job, I'm able to pay my bills. I'm able to take care of myself." And that feels really good. And when you walk into work feeling really good because you've boosted your belief in yourself, you perform better. You're more energized and more willing to raise your hand and say, "Yeah, I'll take on that problem. I'll take on that challenge," which of course leads to bigger and better things. So It all begins with these little things that you do. And again, if you have a question for me, use the hashtag #AskMel. Please be specific. Please ask a question. Please tell me specifically what you're dealing with or what you want specific advice on. And I promise you that you might just see your question answered in an upcoming live broadcast. If you are interested in being part of Spring It On, Hold on, the cat has jumped on the table. There you go, go down. If you're into— and here he comes again. Noodle, go away, go away, go away. If you are interested in being part of Spring It On, just go to melrobbins.com/springiton. If you have a question, again, specific questions. We get a ton of general questions. Those are hard to answer because the advice is really generic sounding, and I know you don't apply it when it's very generic. I need specific issues that you're facing. The more detail, the better, because then I can give you specific advice that you can implement for the situation that you're dealing with. And trust me, there are thousands of people that watch this that have the exact same issue. And so every time you reach out, you're not only helping yourself, you're helping other people. So again, if you want to be part of Spring It On, you want to get the workbook for Spring It On, go to melrobbins.com/springiton. And I think that's it. And by all means, use the hashtag #SpringItOn in your posts. Use the hashtag #AskMel. Tag us in your post so we can find you. Take photos of what you're doing and what you're making progress on, and we might just feature you on our social media story. And last but not least, in case nobody told you today, please let me be the person to tell you that I love you and I believe in your ability to boost your belief in yourself, to do the small things like waking up every day and looking around and figuring out a specific reason why you are grateful, what you're grateful for and why, and feeling the power of how that boosts your belief in self. What's wrong? So he just gave me a— And I think that's it. So go have an absolutely awesome day. We'll be live again tomorrow. Specific questions to #AskMel. Make sure you tag us and make sure you make it a great day. I'll see you tomorrow.