Mel Robbins and others argue that self-compassion builds resilience more than self-criticism. Treat yourself like you'd treat a child or spouse: with grace, kindness, and supportive phrases instead of enemy talk. Self-love makes you stronger and more able to love others.
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In order to be resilient, we have to be compassionate to ourselves. We have to give ourselves grace. We have to allow ourselves to fail and not speak negatively, right? Nobody's perfect.
We're flawed human beings, but that's okay.
And I think the moment we show ourselves the same love and the positive talk that we would show our child or our spouse or anyone else that we care about, that is the moment where we start to to kind of become more resilient because we see ourselves in the same way that we would see someone that we're caring for as a caregiver. But that positive self-talk is really critical, that self-love.
Do you have any like just simple sentences that you give to people if somebody's chronically beating themselves up?
I think giving people the understanding that we are human and we are not perfect and sort of normalizing that. And that's something that I think therapy taught me was normalizing anxiety and normalizing fear and normalizing the sense of failure and all of the things that we feel as human beings. We are allowed to have those feelings.
You know, so many times we think we can't, we shouldn't, but just giving people a sense that it's okay, you know, it's okay that you didn't do the right thing or you made that mistake, but you can move on and put it away and, you know, continue your journey and not let it overwhelm you and overcome you.
And I think, you know, yeah, learning to Again, talk to yourself in the way that you would talk to someone you love.
Right.
If you think about that, would you ever say something so negative to someone that you care for?
I always tell people, I don't know what's gonna happen, but you're not gonna go through this alone and you are capable.
Yes.
Of managing this.
That's right.
Yes.
You're so much stronger than you think.
We all have this capacity and we're not gonna crumble and fall apart.
We can get through it. Again, if we put one foot in front of the other. When you are more compassionate with yourself, you're gonna open yourself up to all of the other tools.
Mm-hmm.
You're gonna maybe seek out social support, which is So important.
Yeah.
You're going to seek out love if you can't love someone else until you love yourself, right?
So a lot of the things, you know, it's going to allow you to tap into your purpose, you know, your meaning in life.
So that is very much almost like acceptance.
It's like a key to opening that doorway. Again, the first tool is really just giving yourself that love and compassion to be able to then approach all of the other things.
