Mel Robbins breaks down four universal regrets: foundation, boldness, moral, and connection. Connection regret is most common, with people wishing they'd reached out to drifting friends. She reunites with a friend after decades apart and rebuilds the relationship quickly.
What we discovered is that around the world, people seem to have the same 4 kinds of regrets.
So these fall in buckets?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are 4 categories all over the world. Foundation regrets: if only I'd done the work. Boldness regrets: if only I'd taken the chance. Moral regrets: if only I'd done the right thing. And connection regrets: if only I'd reached out. The most common regret was a regret of connection. All right. And so typically the story was this: you had a relationship or should have had a relationship that, that was intact and or should have been intact. And it comes apart usually in undramatic ways.
So I've got a story like this. So when, when you and I were in elementary school and high school, we're talking '70s and early '80s.
You got it.
No social media, no cell phones.
Absolutely not.
I went east for college. I grew up in the Midwest. My best friend, Jody Brickin, stayed in the Midwest, and our two paths separated. Okay. And I stayed out east. She moved to Chicago. She then moved out west. We spent the next 20-some years not talking for no reason, right? For no reason. And then we ended up bumping into each other one summer in, I think, my mid-40s, and I immediately was flooded with how much I missed her. And we started making these dates, Dan, that whenever we would both travel for work, we would try to line up our calendars and then we'd stay in a hotel room together and she'd be at her business conference. I'd be at mine. It's one of the greatest joys of my life. It just took a second, Dan.
It takes a second to reconnect. And what I have found in interviewing people like this is that the relationship restarts Almost instantly.
Oh my God. We text every week. I talk to her on the phone. We see each other many times a year, even though we live nowhere. We live in completely different parts of the country. I'm in Vermont. She's in Arizona. But we— it has brought so much joy to my life. If there's somebody on your mind that you're thinking about, as I tell you the story of Jodi, call them, text them, send them this episode and say, you just listened to this episode with Mel and Dan, and you were the first person that popped into my mind. And I just had to reach out to you. I miss you. I just was thinking about you.
It's a life lesson. When in doubt, reach out.
When in doubt, reach out.
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