Mel Robbins and Dan explore what research reveals about regret. Confronting regrets, rather than avoiding them, can clarify your values and improve how you work and think. People actually want to discuss regrets, and acknowledging them teaches you to live more intentionally.
Chapters
So I have here in my hands a huge stack of regrets. We polled our global audience. I want to read some of these to you. Not talking to my father before he passed. Mm-hmm. We weren't on speaking terms for over 2 years. Mm-hmm. Quitting my career due to burnout instead of asking my family for help. Not being more patient with my kids. When they were younger. Why was I always rushing? Not standing up for myself or listening to myself, allowing others to influence my choices, not prioritizing my children, choosing a relationship over my kids.
Oops.
Where I want to start is if I take everything to heart that you are about to share with us.
Yeah.
That you have researched regarding regret, what it can teach us. How might my life change?
Well, first of all, you're going to know what to do with that kind of emotion. You're going to take that emotion, which feels bad. You're going to be able to take that negative sentiment and turn it into something positive. And when you do that, you do some other things. You actually understand what you value in life. You actually find more meaning in life. But wait, there's more. For some of those, there's actually some evidence out there in the research that says that you can become better at your job. You can become a better negotiator. You can become a better problem solver. You can become a better thinker. So the key here is to look those regrets in the eye, not to flinch from them, not to ignore them, not to wallow in them, but to look them in the eye. And those— that pile there, Mel.
Yes, it is heavy, Dan.
But you know what? It's heavy, but it's also positive. Let me tell you why. Because what we think is we think that— and this is how I got into this topic— we think that nobody wants to talk about regrets. That's proof that that's wrong. People do want to talk about regrets.
Everybody, I think, wants to talk about regrets. We quietly carry them with us. And I just want to hover on something that you just said, that we can't avoid it. We can't run from it. We need to face it. And that there is something that regret is trying to teach us about how we should be living our life. And I love that. But when I read something like marrying my first husband after he cheated on me, I really regret that. Not talking to my mother and then she died. You know, just all this wishing I should have. Can you really flip this weight and turn it into something that makes your life better?
Yes, you can. Regret clarifies what we value and points us how to do better in the future.
