Ali Terai: When Passion Pays Off

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No, you're the only person that gets grunting, verbally pumped. That doesn't mean we're not pumped.

Are you suggesting you're pumped?

Yeah.

Jeremy clearly is pumped as he's texting away to his mother.

Pat, how are you?

Hey, Pat.

Hey, Ra.

Stop calling me Capone.

Fixing your Instagram.

Do that. Jeremy, stop getting distracted. My name is Mike Michalitz. I'm an author on a mission to eradicate entrepreneurial poverty. You know what that is? We don't even need to talk about it anymore. We do need to fix it. We're fix it. Starting today, I'm joined in studio by a dear friend of mine, a colleague and a president of our company, Kelsey Ayers.

Hello, friend. Thank you for listening to us. Please don't forget to subscribe wherever you're listening.

And we got, of course, Jaycob Lone, who's constantly fixing things for us. Thank you, sir.

What's up?

And I'm busting his chops, but he's on Instagram doing stuff. And we have a special guest, very.

Special guest, our very own Hawaiian lumberjack.

Hello, Mr. Hawaiian Lumberjack. How you doing?

Welcome.

Oh, hey, how's it going?

It's good to see you.

Splendid.

I loved your costume. Today. We're recording this on Halloween. We're doing three or four episodes. Yeah, throw that on his head there. We're Doing three or four episodes of Entrepreneurship Elevated. On Halloween, everyone brought in our costumes, and you came in as a skateboarder who had a tragic wipeout. And his arm was. I think his bone was exposed in his arm.

Arm was broken. Yeah.

And your costume started to bleed all over the desk, and you immediately ditched the arm.

Yeah, yeah, I decided to take it off, actually. A little blood got on the carpet in the office.

Really?

Yeah.

It was dripping off?

Yeah.

Oh, that's so funny.

I thought it was supposed to dry pretty quickly, but not the case.

Well, you win best effort, though, because I think that was probably the best costume. I didn't see the arm, though, so I gotta take it. But did you see his arm injury?

No, I didn't. No.

Okay. I thought it was the best costume conceptually. The one. The best costume I saw was probably Aaron's dress as a.

A dinosaur.

A dinosaur? I thought it was an alligator.

Well, she made it an alligator because her husband was the. Oh, a crocodile was the crocodile hunter.

So.

So for the party over the weekend, she was a crocodile, but it's really a dinosaur costume.

Oh, okay.

Plus one for wearing pajamas to work.

Yes. Seriously.

Oh, those are pajamas.

Next year, that's definitely what I'm doing.

A pajama day.

I'm just gonna find a costume that's like a onesie.

I have a baboon costume, if you like.

Yeah, I know.

We saw that. That was this awkward.

I also love how you always call and everything.

I love that bat. It is called baboon.

Baboon.

How do you pronounce it?

Baboon.

Baboon.

No, it's baboon.

No, it's baboon.

It's not baboon. Baboon. Where are you from? New Jersey. It's baboon. So, baboon. Do you have a little something for us, Mr. Baboon?

I do, I do. It's more of a question than a tip this time, but what is a female lumberjack called?

Ooh, a lady lumberjack.

First of all, it's a joke. Do you think that would be the answer? Kelsey, what's a female lumberjack? What's a female fighter? Firefighter. Lady firefighter, I would say.

I like the alliteration. Okay.

I would say a lumberjane.

No, close.

What?

Lumberjill.

Jack and Jill.

That was good.

I thought you were gonna do something with deaths.

Yeah, but I didn't want to be too morbid on Halloween or whatever.

But whenever there's a time.

I guess so. But yes, I did read A little bit something about how lumberjacking is actually the most dangerous job in America. And while in 2015, there were 67 lumberjacking deaths, which doesn't sound like a lot, but lumberjacking actually had the most amount of deaths per 100,000 workers in the country.

That is pretty morbid. I wonder how many lumberjills have died.

That's a good question. I'm not sure.

Yeah. And I wonder if lumberjacks. Is that a current term? I mean, do women go by lumberjack? I know there's been a lot of these terms.

Like antiquated.

Yeah. Is antiquated. Is it?

Well, so the correct term nowadays, with the advent of. Or invention, whatever the correct term that I'm trying to use is for. It's actually called a logger.

That's right. It's a logger.

Since the invention of the chainsaw.

Oh, yeah.

Lumberjacks are. They use saws or whatever. Yeah, saws.

Manual machines only.

Yeah. We're badass.

We are.

We are badass. Yeah. I love it. I love it. Well, it's always a joy to have you, Mr. Hawaiian Lumberjack. Thanks for coming in today.

Absolutely.

And you're welcome to stay if you wish and participate. Unless you got work to do.

Yeah, I mean, I'm totally down to participate.

Yeah.

Then, yeah, pull the seat and. And hang tight. Maybe you guys can do it while we do the next thing. So, Kels, what is going on with a shout out? Do we have one?

Oh, yeah, we do have one.

All right.

Are you ready for it?

Yeah.

This comes from Rebecca. Rebecca writes, hi, Mike. I've listened to your Profit first audiobook twice now, and I am reading the actual book to try and get all. To sink in. It has really opened my eyes. And in the last quarter alone, I have cut expenses by $20,000. So I really want to say thank you. And I look forward to the next 12 months and getting on our feet at. After 10 years of living week to week, my goal is to not need a check, not need to check my bank balance before I get groceries or fuel. We don't want to be billionaires, but we would want to be comfortable and with profit first. I know we can. So thank you, Rebecca.

That's awesome. You know, and I think that's the aspiration of many goal entrepreneurs, Kels, is that entrepreneurs aren't necessarily looking to become billionaires, but we're looking for financial freedom and comfort.

Yeah, exactly. Security.

Yeah. And I think that's the new definition of success. I think if we rewind Back to yesteryear. There was a period of time where it all was about, how big is your house, how big is your business? It's all about size. And now I think we're getting rooted more into reality.

Yeah, I love that.

Okay. I love that you love that.

Although, you know what I was just watching the other day, an AMEX commercial that it was basically like she gets her AMEX card in the mail, she opens it up, and she's just envisioning all these, like, kind of lavish things that are clearly beyond her lifestyle.

Yeah.

I was like, oh, that is the worst thing that we should be, you know, propagating these thoughts that I just need more and more and more, like, let me go on a spa day. Let me go shopping with this amateur. Yeah, it was awful.

So let me live without outside my means.

Yeah, exactly.

Damn.

You have debt that I'll never be able to pay back.

I saw the most amazing sticker on a, like, a 18 wheeler. It said, tired of us driving on the road, Stop buying crap.

Oh, wow. Yeah, wow.

It's a good one.

I like where the. I like where Mike's microphone is. You guys speak into your crotch. Preston, you put the microphone so low, there's no way that you guys speak.

Unfortunately, I'm very acrobatic.

Oh, my God, Mike, that's so great that you're. That you gotta stick your face down like that to talk.

Okay, that's excellent.

That was great. I wish we were filming that.

Gotta work out.

His name is Ali Tarai, and he is the founder and and CEO of Future Golf. He's the finalist of the 2019 Telstra Business Awards and featured by Golf Digest as one of the 40 best things in golf. Future Golf was launched in 2014 with less than 200 smacks. 200 bucks. Kelsey's laughing at taking pictures of Mike talking into his crotch and a Facebook post. Future Golf has since become one of the world's largest golf communities for young golfers. This is a business that's exploding in Australia, and we want to share with all our listeners so you can see how you can have explosive business in Australia, here in the US or anywhere in the world. So, Ali, welcome to our show.

Thank you very, very much for having me.

So tell us, what is the concept of Future Golf?

Yeah, it's pretty simple. So it. At the beginning, it was all just about getting younger people playing golf together. So I'm not sure if it's. I'm pretty sure it's the same in the US as well. But the Average age of golfers worldwide sits somewhere around 60 years old. And when I got into the game of golf, yeah, I was, I was trying to get into it. I didn't have friends or family that were playing. And one of the big things that I really wanted was to play with the like minded community. So that was kind of the start of the business. It was called Gen Y Golf when we first launched it, which came with its own set of problems because it's very hard to define what Gen Y is. Whether we were Gen Y, were we just outside of it. But the whole concept was more around getting, I guess, younger people into the game, getting them outdoors, connecting, making friends, improving your skill. That's really great for all abilities and all sorts of people from all walks of life.

Well, how's the game played? Is it different than traditional golf?

Well, we still play very traditional golf, I guess in the common sense, but we also have partnerships with mini golf courses, driving ranges, things like Topgolf, which is huge in the U.S. so the whole idea is if you're interested in golf, we've got an option for you and then we partner with all different facilities and then they provide our members with the benefits. So the business model is essentially a two sided marketplace, connecting our partners with our community.

But what I understand is, and I have not experienced future golf, that you are changing the face of it. You're making it more accessible and you're offering more flexibility. Can you just give us the details of exactly how that works, that it is more flexible, that it does offer that accessibility?

Yeah, definitely. So some of the perceived barriers to golf is that it can be a little bit elitist. You have to join a private golf club, it can be quite expensive and time consuming. So what we created was something that sits a little bit below that. So it's still like a golf membership, but instead of it being maybe two or $3,000, our membership start at $250. Instead of having to pay like a joining fee and go on a waiting list to join a private club, you can join Future Go straight away and then off you go playing 4, 12, 30 rounds at different golf courses that we partner up with. So it gives our members a little bit more choice and flexibility rather than maybe just being just playing at the one course all the time or requiring to be an addict to get into the game.

Well, that's interesting. So by becoming a member of future golf, you get access to more courses at a discounted price, a significantly discounted price. Is that. Am I hearing that right?

Yeah, yeah. So, so with our memberships you get. So they start at four free rounds. So it's even better than a discount. You get a free round of course at a partner course and then you get ongoing discounts. And, and the whole idea is that we're trying to build this younger community, but then also exposing them to clubs and courses that our members maybe never would have heard of or would have accessed.

That's interesting. You're almost. So these courses, I presume, are excited to be members because you're marketing them effectively to a whole new market.

Yep. 100.

So for them, I think by reducing your cost, is it they consider it a marketing cost for them, right?

Yep, absolutely. So one of the big problems that golf has globally is it's the pathway and the funnel of younger people entering the game. So this is amazing for golf clubs and facilities all over because, yeah, they get access to a completely different demographic that could become a 20, 30, 40 year customer ongoing. So, so it's been amazing for the golf industry in Australia. I think we've generated maybe 6 to, it's probably 6 to $7 million now for the Australian golf industry. And that's completely new revenue that's coming in into this space.

So do some, some of these members of future golf become members of these different clubs as they experiencing them?

Yeah, bang on. So I think 20% of our members have ended up joining one of our partner courses, which is phenomenal. So, so, so our attrition actually for the most part supports all of our partner courses, which is fantastic.

Wow, that's interesting. Yeah, so, okay, so I get that. What about these established courses though? What about the members themselves? So there's a famous, I shouldn't say famous. There's a popular golf course in the north where I am in New Jersey called Fiddler's Elbow. It's a popular course and it's a, it's a more expensive course. So you have the stodgy, if that's right choice of words. That's what Kelsey was saying. Stodgy. 60 year old men sitting there that have paid, you know, their $50,000 for membership and now they get some young buck like the Hawaiian lumberjack to walk in ripped pants, he talks to his crotch. I mean, it's like really weird. And he paid 250 bucks to be. Aren't these people looking at him saying, who is this kid? Like, why is he in. Is there an adverse response from the established members at these clubs?

There's probably a pocket of clubs out there that are still in the Adoption process. And I guess it's like with anything changes, we always talk about Blockbuster and Netflix and Kodak and what happened with digital cameras in that time. And I think there's always going to be some resistance. But the way that we try to support the clubs with that is we call it a tribe within a tribe, you know, because, say the majority of these golf clubs will have an established membership base that sometimes can be stuck in their ways. But for the most part in Australia we've found that even the older members just love having the youth coming through because it brings energy inside of the club environment, it brings a whole different dynamic there and, and I think it changes that atmosphere completely in that, in that environment. So, so the transition's been really, really good. Like we've never had problems with, with that concept. We've been very fortunate with it over here.

What inspired you to come up with this idea? This concept?

Yeah, I think you guys were talking about it earlier. It was about more around first learning about business and doing something that I was passionate about and doing something that I really cared about with people that I really cared about. So that was the start of this business. As I said earlier, it started with a Facebook post and a very cheap website. And the whole concept was just a very, very small, passion driven business. Rather than doing an mba, I thought that why don't we actually go and try something, put it out there and then see what happens. So, so at the beginning the whole concept was just about playing golf with a few friends. And our baseline goal was can we have a golf club with eight to ten of our mates and then let's just see what happens from there. If other people like it, great, they're more than welcome to come on board. But it was never meant to be a business from the beginning. So it just kind of evolved that way.

You know, this reminds me of NetJets, I think is a subscription for private jets. And so this model I think would apply to other things. Like listen, churches have people that are, you know, 80 and older. They're literally dying to get new members in. And I don't know if a model would apply to a church, but I'm saying this is not the only scenario. There must be other opportunities that come your way and you say, oh, I can apply it here or I could apply it there. How do you stay focused on future golf and not get distracted by other opportunities that would be so similar to this?

It's so funny, we've drawn up so many different ideas like a future travel, future Learning so many, so many different. So many different options there and verticals. And who knows, one day we might do them. Because you're right, the model does apply. When you're connecting a highly undifferentiated marketplace with a new community, there are definite opportunities that exist there. You know, we've picked golf where it fits quite nicely because of the transition period that golf's coming through at the moment. But you've seen it with hotels, you know, Airbnb, you're. We're seeing it with Class Pass, which are huge in the us Doing it with yoga studios and gyms. So uber. I think, I think the model is definitely hitting close to that established point. But, but it's also a really exciting opportunity because the thing that I love most about this as a business model is that it's completely mutually beneficial. If the members don't look after the partners, the partners won't stay on. If the partners don't look after the members, they won't then engage with them. So, so there's something quite beautiful about that model that it only, we're only facilitating the exchange, whereas the market is kind of looking after each other, which is really, really cool.

What about one of these clubs saying, oh, you know what? Future golf is simply a middleman. We can do this ourselves. We can reach out to this youth market and just offer membership at a reduced price. They can test this out. Do you ever fear that these other, these, these courses that you're working with are going to try to jump the middleman and go right to the end consumer, leaving you out?

Not really. Like, like, I'm sure there's, like with everything, there's risks and there's threats. But, but I think one of the big. We do exist and have done relatively well is because most golf clubs and facilities just don't have the budget for marketing and for promotion to that marketplace. And it is quite an expensive market to target, especially if they're new to golf or entering golf. The jump from going from I'm just starting to play golf to joining a private golf club is actually quite big. And it might take six months or 12 months say. So that's where, where more that pathway that facilitates their development journey rather than, rather than viewing the golf clubs as competitor because ultimately we want to support those facilities. So if they market to our marketplace, we love it because it just means that more younger people are getting exposed to their course and inherently it increases the attractiveness of our offer as well.

As you've been growing this, was there any assumptions or expectations you've had that have not come true. The bumps and bruises.

Oh geez, it would. I don't think I've ever heard a business owner say no to that question.

That's true. Everybody's perfect. A couple things.

It's been the smoothest ride. Okay. It couldn't have been easier, but yeah, definitely. I think at the beginning that because we were doing something quite different just, just explaining our model and what we're trying to do and getting, getting the partner clubs on board was a little bit of a challenge. So that was like, I think with all businesses and just what I've found speaking to so many different entrepreneurs is that first six to 12 months really, really tests whether your idea and your concept has what it takes. So I think for us that was that it was, we were trying to manage, growing our partnership base, running events, setting up the administration and I guess automating a large part of our business. Because for the first three to four years everyone that was involved was just doing this part time or voluntarily based. So, so that was quite, quite a challenge. And just getting, getting, I guess that traction at the beginning and getting set up was probably that challenge. But yeah, the big one was just building our product because it was, it's quite an, I guess an imaginary type of product. We don't hold any physical goods and everything's based on relationships. So building that network, the trust and the relationships at the beginning it took some time, but that's also been, I think, the core that really differentiates us as a business as well.

Over my 12 years of being an author devoted to the small business entrepreneur, I've discovered the biggest challenge and you know what it is? It's profitability. That's why I wrote Profit first and that's why I'm now hosting a two day workshop here at my offices in Boonton, New Jersey where I will teach you and my team one will teach you how to become permanently profitable. Go to profitfirstlive.com right now to get details again, profit first live.com, find the dates that work for you and I'll see you here at my office. It's a fascinating model. I'm curious, chicken or the egg? Do you have to first get a club on in order to sell membership or do you need a member in order to get a club even interested?

Yeah, we did it the other way. So we sold the concept as a bit of a pre sale, more as just an idea at the beginning. So as I said earlier with the, with the Facebook post, it Essentially just said, are you someone who's young and into golf? Do you want to play with other people that are like minded? This is what we're thinking and we're going to try to build it. Over the next couple of months you will get potentially a few free rounds of golf, a couple of golf events, a golf handicap, which is a big thing over here in Australia. And. And then off we went. So. So we did the pre sale. We probably had. Oh, I think it was mainly just my friends at the beginning, but that, that injected a little bit of cash into the business so we could operate and start our little website and get some ads out there and then from there we've just done it that way. We've just built the product after, I guess after we have the members and we have people interested.

And I assume that gave you bargaining power, more than just cash. You now could go to your first club and say, listen, I got 30 people that are on board. Open up some space for us.

Yeah, we've got, we've got members, you know.

So how many members do you have now?

We've got 3, 200 in Australia and then we've got a database maybe about 30 to 40, 000. So. So I think we'll end this year as the third or fourth largest golf club in the country. Which. Really crazy. Yeah, which is crazy.

You're the third or fourth largest golf club and you don't have a golf club.

Yeah.

Right. Isn't that like. Jeremy, what's the Airbnb? Right. You stay at Airbnbs all the time.

All the time.

Right.

That's all I do.

They don't have any inventory. They have more rooms than any other resort or hotel chain and they don't own a single property. Jeremy.

I know, it's crazy. That's crazy.

So, okay, so you got thousands of members. How many clubs do you have?

We now have 80 in Australia, so. Which is pretty good considering there's maybe only 500 legitimate golf clubs. Yeah, yeah. So we're reaching forward.

Yeah. Does. Can any member play at any club of all 80 clubs or are there different levels?

Yeah, we've got different levels. So we've got three different levels and then there's only. Out of those 80, there's maybe five or six of them that are a little bit more exclusive, that are for the top level of our membership and they're more. So that's more designed for people that are nearly ready to join a private, exclusive golf club. So it gets them exposed to them.

So you really Matriculate people into this commitment. They start off at a low cost point. They can play around a little bit. If they're into it, they can up level to nicer courses and then up level into full membership at one of these places. But if they up level into a membership, say, I find the country club for myself through your program. I love it, I join it. Do you get kind of a final compensation for that conversion or that was just part of the deal and you lost that member. And congratulations to the country club.

Yeah, like, like at the moment, we've done bits and pieces of that. So with some clubs that get a real high volume of our members, we, we have a little bit of a referral fee that we put in there, which is usually a percentage just of the first year of their. Their membership fee. But for the most part, I think we'll do more of that as the community grows and gets bigger and that transition rate gets even stronger. But right now the main priority is we just really want to just support those partner clubs for supporting us and helping us with providing our members with that opportunity. But, but I think that there's, there's so many different verticals that you can incorporate with this type of model as well. Like at the moment, our core focus is just more around building the partnerships and building our community, you know, and, and making sure that, that that member experience is as good as we can make it. And the event experience is phenomenal. And then after that, we'll start building out different components of that like sponsorship and commercialization and, you know, up leveling the partners. And there's a few different ideas there to throw around.

Kelsey, gotta remind me, when we're done with this interview, I tell you about a woman and her golf story happened here in Boone Township. Make a note of that. Okay, so. Because it just came to me, it's a funny true story and you can Google satellite this thing as proof. Ollie, you're trying to break into the U.S. what is your strategy? How do you get into this country just because this country want to get into Australia?

Yeah, that's shrimp in the bar. There's nothing more delicious.

Annoying phrase, shrimp. That's not a knife. This is a knife.

I love them. I think it's the. I think it's the greatest thing. Like, I traveled, I've been traveling to the US a lot over the last five, six years. And, and it's amazing. Like, Australia's on the other side of the world. So anything that bridges that gap, culturally or through pop culture, I think is Fantastic. Yeah, yeah, we love it. We absolutely love it. So. And you know, I think it's amazing, like there's so many Aussies that come over to the States, especially New York. Like, New York's one of my favorite cities in the world. And yeah, it's, it's an amazing energy and completely different. But we're going off track there. But yeah, definitely, yeah. With the.

So how do you break it with.

The US for sure. Like, I think when we're looking at our type of model, it becomes a really attractive proposition because in the US you guys have, I think it's something like 17,000 golf courses and you've got Topgolf, you've got the college system. So there's a lot of young people that are already playing golf, probably more so than what we've got here in Australia, obviously just due to your population, but then you've also got a lot more golf courses there too, so. But then with that comes the challenges. You've got a lot more country clubs and a lot more exclusive golf facilities, whereas here most of our courses are more semi private. But in saying that, there are thousands of courses that fit our bill in the usa, so we're just exploring that at the moment and trying to see what setting up in the US looks like, which regions to target initially and then how we'll do that build. But I've done, I think, three, four trips in the last 12 months and it's looking really, really promising. So. So we're excited to hopefully have a launch date maybe in the next three to six months if everything goes well.

That's awesome.

I have a question for you. Are you targeting more, more the private clubs or can public fit in as well?

Yeah, so in Australia we do both, we do both public and private. And it's mainly like if the, if the course has a great location, they've got, you know, an attractive proposition where we're going to approach them and, and see if we can get a partnership with that club. And I think it's, it's providing our members with a nice variety as well, especially with price points, so that if they do then want to go back to that facility, they've got a few different options. Like in Australia, we have some partner clubs where their average round price might be 20 or $30, and then we've got others where their average round price might be 150 to $200. You know, so, so giving our members that selection is something really important.

In Australia, I presume your members probably congregate from certain cities, Sydney, Melbourne and so forth. And is that true? Like that. Okay, so they gotta travel to these different clubs. So these clubs are generally in their vicinity, right?

Yep, yep. So where they're drivable. Yeah, yeah, they're drivable. So. So in Melbourne, it is largely a driving city, so we're very, very used to hopping in the car for 45 minutes. That's the average commute to work for most people. And then driving to go for an hour, hour and a half isn't an issue. The other thing with Melbourne, like pound for pound, it's probably. It's arguably got the best golf in the world, both on value and variety. We've got a region called the Sand Belt where the President's cup will be hosted this year. So it's a phenomenal golfing city, especially in. In Victoria and in Melbourne, there's maybe four or five different golfing regions that have 10 to 20 different clubs and courses there. So. So the pockets are really established over here. Then you go to Sydney, it's a little bit different because of land and the scarcity there. The demand for courses are a lot higher. In Queensland, the state is just so huge that it could be two hours between some of the courses. So. So it's more a coverage strategy, just like that. Where. Where we try to find eight to 10 partner clubs in a specific region that are, say, maybe within 20 or 30 kilometers of each other. And then. And then you can start building a nucleus of members in that region.

Yeah, that's good, because that. That will translate, I presume, to the US market. Last question I got for you is getting started here, do you have to start a new company, meaning you have to have a new company formation, or, or can you literally run the business legally, so to speak, out of Australia?

Yeah. Then that's completely outside of my hitting zone. So at the moment, we're working with an amazing lawyer who's, I think got the bar, got bar qualification in the U.S. australia, the UK has set up afterpay and some other amazing companies in the. In the U.S. so we just by chance got connected to her and then we're exploring that process. All I know is it's going to be very, very expensive to set it up. And it's. It's going to take. It's going to take a lot of paperwork and documentation, but we'll work through that process and just ensure that, you know, we're set up correctly, especially with, you know, recent changes to, I guess, trade and setup. Just want to make sure that we've got all that right before we embark on this part of the journey.

Ali, where can our listeners. And I wouldn't be surprised if we have some people that own golf courses listening. Where can our listeners learn more about you and connect with you?

Yeah, absolutely. So LinkedIn is the big one, personally. So just ali Terai on LinkedIn. I love that as a platform. At the moment, I've got a website as well, which is Ali tory dot com. And then for future golf, it's futuregolf dot com.

Great. We'll have those links in the show notes. Ali, thank you so much for joining us today.

Thank you very, very much for having us. That's great.

All right, so what we're going to do is recap what we learned. We're going to play a game with the Hawaiian lumberjack who's going to be talking to his crotch. We're going to call it what's he whispering to his Crotch? That's the name of the game.

Good name.

So you just whisper to your crotch, and then we have to guess what you're whispering to your crotch. And we're going to thank our corporate partner. I want to thank Nick Stiva. It makes this show a reality. Shockingly. Hawaiian lumberjack, they stuck with us all these years and like, yeah, we'll support this garbage, this horrible show you have. I mean, the content's great until it gets to this part. Why are you shaking your head?

Kels, Zip your lips.

You zip your lips.

I feel ill of us.

I'm not speaking ill of us. It's mostly you.

I know.

Did you. What'd you think? That video, Mike, we had that celebration for Kelsey's presidentship. We saw a video that Jeremy produced. What do you think about that?

I wasn't there.

Oh, you weren't there. There were so many people.

It didn't get shared to you, though. Nobody shared.

You see the video?

Nobody shared.

I deleted them.

Now I'm sorry.

Speak closer to your cry.

I totally feel left out.

Oh, you guys.

See, I did see that Kelsey got knighted. Excellent.

Yeah, yeah. So we'll say, are you Sir Kelsey now?

Yes, Sir Sparkle.

Sir Sparkle. Sir Sparkle. I like Sir Sparkle. All right, what did we learn? Why don't you start with you, Kellis? What did you learn from.

Sure.

So this is a super cool story. I love that. I really love that. It wasn't intended to be a business at first. Like, it was just trying to serve himself in a way, and his friends in a similar situation. But because of that, I think it led to this beautiful mutually beneficial relationship that has its own built in quality assurance because of that. And I love that. I feel like it's all aligned, right?

I think so. Hawaiian lumberjack. Did you take any mental notes that you want to share?

Yeah.

Speak closer to your crotch.

Sure. Gotta have strong abs for this.

Really lean into your genitalia.

I. Ditto. I did what Kelsey said. Just intriguing that it started out as just a personal passion but eventually spawned into a business. And I was just taking a lot of mental notes because as you know, Mike, I recently showed my car at a Concours d' elegance in a 30 under 30 class. It was like the first of its kind. Because the Concours car show scene, I guess you could call it in the US is very similar to what our guest was saying with the golf scene in Australia. How the average attendee is, you know, in their 70s or 60s and there's not much youth. And eventually all these people who are currently bringing their cars and everything are not going to be with us anymore. So what does that mean for the hobby as a whole? So I do see and set a lot of parallels to my passion for cars and in trying to focus on getting the youth involved more.

I love that.

Super cool.

Yeah, Good observation. Succinctly put too. Wow. Amazing. Jake.

Yeah, I like this because I love golf. And it is. It's very expensive.

It really is.

You buy the clubs and you think, oh, that's it. And then you go play and you're like, What? It's another 80 bucks. It's another. And the only way you can really get good at golf is by playing on a golf course. You can't get good on the range. Yeah, you can take. But yeah, that's the way. I got a funny story. You know, I think my biggest takeaway is just looking at the bio. I love this. He started it in 2014 with 200 in a Facebook post.

Right, right. It's all that's required.

Yeah, yeah. And just. And just push and push and push.

I like that one, Jacob. I like that he structured a win win. It's the rise of the middleman. I thought they said the Internet was going to crush the middleman, but now you hear things like Uber that's coordinating the customer, connecting them with the driver, and they're serving that middle center part. That's what future golf is doing. I thought that's really cool that there's so many middleman win win opportunities. Here's the story I wanted to share. So I live near A road called Split Rock in Boonton, New Jersey. You gotta google this. There was a woman, I don't recall her name, of affluence, I think last name was Johansen. Try to join the Rockaway River Country Club, that's also in Boonton Township, which is even today a men's only club. They will not accept women. And she petitioned to become a member and they declined her. So she built her own golf course. So you can google Split Rock Road, Boonton, and kind of navigate along it. And there's a nine hole golf golf course that's privately owned. Sorry, are you the biggest asshole ever? Kelsey?

I'm sorry. I keep going.

I mean, just a total jerk. You're unfriendly. You're not kind.

I'm sorry.

You're bitter. You are bitter. Can I finish the story or do you want to interrupt me again?

Please, please.

You are a filthy, inappropriate, aggressive, inconsiderate.

When was the last time you were on the gorf course anyway?

You're an ass, all of you. I went golf ring about a week ago.

You know what though? I was gonna say the reason why like that. It pains me with how expensive it is because it was two years ago. I bought this really beautiful set of golf clubs. I mean, amazing golf is like stainless steel. Like perfect. And the first time that I swung and I hit a rock, oh like my heart sank and I was just like. The rest of the day I couldn't play well because I was like, do.

You damage it severely?

It put a little nick in it, but I mean it's basically, you know, when they're perfect.

Yeah. So the. The just to finalize that story of Split Rock Road. So I don't think she allows men on the course. That was the cute thing. But I couldn't get to that point. Because you were too aggressive. You're a salt. When you were reading the bio. Mess it up all the time, everything.

It's not like you let that go. You bring it up every time.

I know it's true. I'm actually worse than you. I'm worse than you because you just bring up in the spot and it's done me. I just keep on attacking it. Attacking. And then I deny them attacking it. I'm the filthy one.

I think instead of Melbourne, you said Melbourne.

I said that's the way you're supposed to say it though.

Yeah.

Melbourne.

Yes.

Really?

Yeah.

Is that for real?

Yeah, for. For reals.

Oh, that's awesome.

Ollie. Is that right?

That is correct.

If you're solving.

Yeah.

See, I wasn't trying to get you.

No. And you're decent about it. See, he said. I think. I think it said this way. But I want to ask. Let's get it. Let's validate this. I want to make sure that both of you feel comfortable. That's how you position.

Make fun of somebody. I'm going to position it that way.

No. You.

Well, you don't feel comfortable with me mocking you.

You just attack. All right, now let's play a game. Let's play a game. So, Mike, I just wanted to be me and you because the others are jerks. So this is a game. It's called Bizarre Jobs. Jeremy, Kelsey and Hawaiian Lumberjack. You're. You're guessing. Two of these jobs are real. Mike, One of these are fake. Now, here's the thing. I wrote the description for each one just so that has a consistent voice to it. But two are legit jobs and one's fake. You gotta guess which one's fake. Okay, so let me read off three jobs. One school the professional bedwetter. Stop dropping. We test out different beds to see which offer the greatest protection absorption through our pad system, allowing the offender to sleep comfortably even after an accident. Pays in diapers. Okay, that. That's a joke. It does not pay in diapers. Drying paint watcher. Hey, why don't you watch some paint dry? Ever hear that? Sit and watch paint dry for as long as you can deal with the misery. $12 an hour. That can't be real. Or could it? And professional mourner. Oh, the deceased need to know that people are there for them. Isn't that funny? But they're dead. How would they know? Make $50 per dead guy or $75 on dual death events.

These all seem fake.

Yeah. Two are actually legit.

I know.

Is that crazy? Mike, do you want to be the first? You want to be the last? It's your choice.

I'll save the best for last.

Speak closer to your balls. I couldn't hear you.

That's a good one. That's a good one.

What? Did you say last?

Sure. Yeah.

Okay.

It just didn't come through. Okay. All right. Means you're up first. J Bone. Professor. That was funny. Speak for professional bed wetter. Drying paint watcher or professional mourner? All right.

Drying paint watcher.

Yeah, it can exist, right?

That has to be. If that's real, something's not right.

Okay, Kelsey, which one do you think is a fake job?

I feel the same thing, but I want to say something different. Just because I'll say the professional mourner. That's just so sad.

Mike, you can go with Jeremy or Kelsey, or you can go rogue and go on your own and be a bedwetter.

No, you know, I'm. I think I'm gonna go with the mourner as well.

Okay.

I mean, I could see a valid reason for wanting to pay someone to watch your paint dry, because you want to make sure that dust or dirt or something doesn't get in and mess up your paint job.

The quality of how it dries, of course.

Yes.

You gotta be on top of it.

So for the first time in the history of the show, I've. Twice in a row.

We're all wrong.

All wrong.

Yeah.

Two weeks in a row. It's never happened before. I wanted do give this caveat that you did explain and you started to support. The dry Paint Watcher is a profession, and that's specifically for the reason to watch for color change and for, you know, dust and particles. Particles. So this is a job. There's a job currently available in the UK to watch paint dry on cardboard as a test to see how paint color changes over time and to monitor that professional mourners are freaking real.

Have they never heard of a video camera?

That's a good point.

I mean, that's.

That's why they're from the uk. They're from the uk. I don't know if that's supposed to mean professional mourners. You know, I've offended every country that's from Canada. I call Canada our 51st state. And they're like, this is bullshit. Professional mourner. In Southeast Asia, a funeral is successful if it has loud participants. So they judge.

Oh, that makes more sense to me.

So in the tradition of the Southeast Asia, the loud. The more loud the funeral, the more they're assisting the dead to travel to the afterlife. So professional mourners are h. To cry and weep as loudly as possible.

It makes more. And then, like, you incite the competition.

I'm gonna be pretty good at that. Could you imagine it? You try your weeping.

No.

I loved him so much. Try.

No, it laughed.

That was. No, you can't laugh. Professional giggler.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess. I guess you could be a professional giggler if you worked for a teddy bear company where masturbatory people call.

Yeah.

Oh, you did that. Bedwetter is the fake. Did you know that there is no job for a professional bed wetter? You just do it on your own.

It should be.

I know how many people wet their bed, I think. I mean, it's an issue for some people. Incontinence was. There's a word for it, Kels. All right, get out of here.

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