Episode 187: Amplify Your Mind and Your Income with Kelly Ruta

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And I hate that. Like, I hate the, like, you know, chewing noise, hearing people chew. I myself, particularly, like. I hate that.

But you couldn't resist. Like they said, we'd like one minute silence, please, to recognize. I love it.

Yeah, exactly.

I love it. No, mine. I think my most inappropriate was. I don't know if it's inappropriate, but I was trying to eat a whole fish on the show while interviewing. Was Larry Wing it? Yeah, it was Larry Wing.

It was.

And he's like this super intense guy.

Yeah, it's not pretty. Kelly, I promise you.

There was bones flipping around so bad. Well, if you don't like fish, it smells bad. I love the smell. So Larry Winget, he. He's one of those guys who you start answering a question like, oh, he's gonna go for 10 minutes, I can eat. But he ends abruptly in the middle of a sentence. He's like, yeah. And then we went. And then there's, like, dead air. And then the two girls here, like, they're like, oh, Mike, you just handle it.

I'm like, well, no, because we were just so grossed out by the, like, fish coming out of your mouth.

I actually spit some on you, I think. Did I launch one? Like, a Scud missile?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, my God, fish juice everywhere. That's nasty.

Okay.

Then it had that eye just, like, staring at you.

So what's his name? Roy. He's like, you have to eat the eye. I'm like, what? He's like, it's Costa Rican tradition to eat the eye of a fish.

No, he made that up so that you would eat it.

And I did. And it was disgusting. I did fall for it. Yeah. All right. That was our. That was our banter in the beginning. So now you know what we do now.

Oh, so now I have to kick it.

Yeah, now you gotta kick us off. Yeah.

You're listening to the.

Yeah, here we go.

Welcome to the Profit first podcast. There you go.

You started us out. Episode 187, Kelsey.

Thanks, Kel.

Wow.

Do you want to say this one too? Oh, you. Oh, I don't even know what the hell I'm saying. Welcome, everyone, to the Profit first podcast. I'm your co host creation, Christina Bolda.

And I'm the host guy, Mike McCallow, joined the studio by our good friend and obviously the really the facilitator of this entire show, Kelsey Ayers.

You're welcome, everybody. And hello.

Who loves her potato chips? And you, my friends, you're listening to the Profit first podcast. You know, this is a show where we explore profit from every single. Allen. Allen. Oh, man, can I ever get one ethnic sentence right? Every single angle. We bring in some amazing guests. Oh, yeah, last, you know, last week we talked about or two weeks ago now, we talked about how you can take any product that you have, physical product, anything you do, and convert it to an online product. Today we're gonna talk about the money mindset. Like, if you don't have the right mindset, you can't achieve anything.

No, it's huge.

The mind is everything.

Yeah, that mighty mindset.

Kelly Ruda's gonna be joining us, sharing that.

I'm excited.

She's great.

All right, before we do that, you.

Have to know where to find us.

Yeah, where do you find us?

Itunes, Stitcher tuning, radio, Google Play, and of course, Profit first podcast dot com.

Yep. Anywhere you hear podcast, you can find us. What are you two been up to? Everything cool?

Everything's great.

Yeah. Was that a real question?

Yeah, not really.

I really wanted to elaborate exactly.

It's funny. I was out at dinner and I totally had this guy ask me that same question. I'm not gonna say who it was. He's a very awesome guy. Three times he asked me, so, hey, we been up to. So I started answering and he kind of drifts away not paying attention, like 10 minutes later. So what have you been up to? I'm like, in the last 10 minutes, you know, and then one more time he's like, so what have you been up to? So I don't know.

So, yeah, so I really don't care.

What you've been doing, but I do care. I do care about our shout outs.

And what you've been up to with your profit.

What do you mean our guests or me, myself?

No, I mean the shout out line.

Oh, yeah. Are we ready for that? Like, what's going on with our shout out line?

Yeah, we're not ready for that.

We're not gonna take us a little.

I mean, we have A shout out that we're gonna read off.

So we're gonna read off our shout outs and then that the broadcast of them. We're almost there.

Yes. Yeah.

Okay, so if you missed it, a few weeks ago, we discovered we've been getting shout outs. We thought, like people weren't shouting out. Profitability ends up, we have, I don't know, a dozen, I don't know. We won't even know. Yeah, we just found out we have a cache of shout outs of people saying, hey, I've achieved profitability. And then people start calling back and say, why aren't you broadcasting it? You said you would. And we would until we found out that our intern wasn't telling us about it. You put an intern up for a real job. But here's the deal. We have a shout out hotline. We want to hear your Profit success. Dial 844-876-7221. Now here's the deal. You have the phone in your hand right now. That's how you're listening to this podcast, right? Am I right? Of course I'm right. So dial this on your phone now, 844-876-7221. Which spells out profit first, I think, doesn't it?

Yes.

Yeah. So you can dial 1-844-PROFIT.

Obviously you've tested it.

No, I haven't.

I'm just saying.

Can you.

No, it does not.

Does not. It does not.

It spells out like that doesn't even make sense.

So dial 844-844-876-7221. Record your message on how you've achieved profitability and shout it out. I mean, be proud of your profitability. Plug your company too, and we'll promote it on air. Okay. Did I get everything?

Yep.

Okay, and now we do have a shout out that we wrote down, right?

Yes.

What is it?

Oh, we're doing that now. Okay. This comes from Ken. I don't know, I'm all over the place. Ken Adair from Salmon's Trucking, your favorite.

Oh, yeah, Long haul trucking.

He said that he found us an audible three or. Sorry, you. He found your book on audio three years ago. He has all your books on audio and hard copy. He went from broke, self employed truck driver to having a bit of cash. Now, recently he had a stent in one of his main arteries. He was off to. Oh, my God, I can't.

Off of work in two weeks.

Using Profit first. He has money for everything he needed. Thanks to you. He's looking forward to your next book. By the way, and he loves to us in our podcast.

Oh, Ken, you are a rock star. Thank you for doing the hard work you do, Ken. We appreciate you and congratulations on your success and wishing you health. Yeah, my uncle just had a stent inserted. He's a German, meaning in Germany. And their process is different. You know, in the US you get stent in and it's like an outpatient thing. Like get out the door now. Go live your life. In Germany, they're like, they put Stanton and they're like, now it should be two weeks of exercise and rehabilitation. He went to a rehabilitation center in another. He lives in Hamburg. They moved into another city, I think Frankfurt or something. And then had him go through these rehabilitative processes.

So much more advanced.

Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's a different system because, you know, it's a different, albeit better system. Okay. And the last thing I want to do is I want to thank our sponsors, make the show a reality. Fundbox nextiva Receipt Bank. We'll give them a shout out in a little bit so you can learn more about them. But first, let's talk about Kelly Ruta.

Kelly.

Kelly is a seasoned therapist turned mindset mastery and high performance mentor for female entrepreneurs. Her style of coaching and speaking has been described as Gary V. As Gary Vaynerchuk meets Brene Brown. That's Brene B. And with an this makes no sense, but ass kicking with a heart. Kelly's 20 plus year career has spent helping women rise above serious challenges and take back their business and lives. Kelsey, I want you to tell me one thing that no one would ever know about about Kelly Ruda.

She was a psychotherapist and a counselor for two decades. Is that wild?

Boom. Kelly, welcome to our show.

Thank you so much for having me so excited to be here.

Okay, we're excited that you're here today. So let's get right into the money mindset. What the hell does that mean to have a money mindset?

Best question ever. Because people ask me that all the time. What the hell is mindset? And why do I need to bother doing it or paying attention to it? And I try to make things listen. I'm not gonna lie. Stupid simple. I'm a big fan of stupid Bazinga. So here's.

Yeah, you're gonna get. We just do have to throw you off.

Yeah.

So that's gonna happen a lot. Just be prepared.

You're messing with your mindset.

Yeah. Here we go.

This is so good. Can we just hang out and do this?

Sure. How about this one? Make it real scary.

Nice.

Okay. I'm sorry.

Oh, I could tell some psychotherapy stories. That would require that.

Yeah, at the end, we'll do that.

I digress.

Don't forget. Right?

We don't ever do that.

Yeah.

Okay. So money, mindset. Really, really easy. What you think and what you believe. So how you consciously think and what you subconsciously believe determin literally everything in your experience, and that includes your experience with money. And I'm seeing constantly, over and over and over, people who have these really strong, deep desires to serve a lot of people with their business and make a lot of money. And they're incredibly smart, really gifted people. And yet their mind, the way they think of what they believe, the thing that stands in between them and it's. It's got to stop. It's got to stop. It makes me absolutely crazy seeing so many gifted people in the world not be able to make the money they want when they're out busting their butts and doing the work.

So, you know. But this mindset thing can go a little too far. I was just reading. I guess it was last episode, Kelsey. That thing from Esther Hicks.

Yeah.

And listen, I believe actually in the law of attraction, but it was like, you know, put your wish out there and be patient, Sit back. It will come to you one day when it's ready.

Yeah.

And like, I kind of get it, but I kind of like, you know. That sounds like. That sounds so artificial.

Yeah, it totally does.

A marriage between action and mindset.

Yeah. Is there a match? Is it platonic?

There's a huge marriage. There's occasionally a divorce, and that's the problem. But there's a. There's a huge marriage. And the problem with taking these sort of like. Like sound bits or clips from. From other people is that they're taken out of context. Right. So we don't get the whole story. That's why a lot of people think mindset work is fluff or Law of Attraction is fluff. Listen, I don't. I don't do fluff. I don't have time for fluff. All I'm interested in is transform. So you have to be able to marry what you think and what you believe and how you feel with what you do day in and day out. And I have to tell you, that's why. I mean, you already know this. I pimp your book like it's my job. I do profit first completely. Look, I'm not blowing smoke here, you know, I love you. I'm a Fan girl.

But the music playing. I know, I know. Yeah, keep going.

We'll talk love later, my friend. Okay, so. So the truth is, you know your book, Profit first, super, super powerful, super actionable. But if somebody has a lot of thoughts or a lot of beliefs about money or about their ability to work with numbers or about their deservedness to make money or create wealth that stand in their way, it's not going to matter how great your book is because they're not going to be able to apply it consistently. And that's the key, the consistent application.

You know, I saw Dave Ramsey. Do you know who he is? I'm sure you do. Okay, sure. So I went to entree leadership. They had this event and he was up on stage and someone said, your book has changed my life to him. And he gave the best response. He's like, my book hasn't changed your life. You've changed your life. You just applied stuff that I've learned, but you actually took action. He goes, the shame is most people won't have their lives changed and they'll also blame it on the book.

Right.

Because it's action.

That's right.

How do you. So what I'm hearing from you is mindset is actually an activator to do something. Am I hearing it right?

That's exactly it. That is exactly it. It is the thing that connects what you truly deeply desire deep down with what you do in order to bring it to you. That's it. But without it, I mean, I see too many people skipping over this. Right. Because they don't. The word mindset, not my favorite word. Right. Not gonna lie, it's my expertise, but I don't even like the word because it doesn't land for people. They don't understand. What does that mean? Why does it matter? And just show me how to make the money. Right? So if you don't have the belief around money that supports you taking the action towards it, it's. Nothing's going to work. You'll self sabotage, you'll be inconsistent. You'll, you know, kind of throw stuff against the wall and hope it sticks. None of that's really great for you or your business.

All right, so let's start changing the mindset right now. What are the steps we need to take?

Okay, so the first thing you have to do is you have to be crystal, crystal clear about what you deeply desire. And I say it that way on purpose because I hear too many people talking about they quote, unquote, want. And look, there's nothing Wrong with wanting. I like nice things just like everybody else. But that's not what's really going to drive behavior change. Right. I spent 20 years immersed in psychology, and one thing I know for sure is that people, we make decisions, we do things based on what we believe the having of it is going to make us feel. That's it. Period. And so, you know, if. If you want the Lamborghini, it's not because of the car itself. It's because of what you think it's going to create inside of you, the experience. So you got to be really, really clear about what it is you desire, especially when it comes to money or business, you know, what you do with your life. Once you're clear about that, then the next step is to figure out what your blocks are, what stands in between you and the having of what you desire. And a lot of will try to argue, oh, it's because I don't know enough, or, you know, I don't. I haven't spent enough years in the field, or I. You know, there's 8 billion excuses, none of which is true. None of them are true. It's what you believe about it that matters. And some of those beliefs are around money. And I've heard women especially come up with some things about money that are just, holy cow, they're really, really going to undermine your. Your steps, your business, your progress, your ability to create profit. Yeah, absolutely. Things like, I suck at numbers. Things like. Yeah, Things like money scares me, or I. I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to budgeting or investing or anything else. It's scary for me. I don't know how to do it. It's too hard. It's too time consuming. I'm gonna mess it up. I mean, really? Mike, how long's the podcast? I could go on for two hours with this stuff.

We do need a stretcher, so just give me your stuff. We need filler. We need. Yeah. So the. The funny stuff is these are the exact same things I hear from, actually, my own wife. She's. I would argue she's actually more intelligent than I am. But she says she sucks at numbers. She's afraid of money.

Yep.

And it actually manifests an anger and disappointment.

Yes.

Like, as opposed to the desire to resolve that. Is that true? Just for her, for everyone.

It's across the board. And I can say that not just kind of from a professional view, but as a reformed thinker, because that's exactly what I used to think about money. It's. I Don't want to deal with it, it's too hard. I'm scared I'm going to mess it up. And I'm, you know, for the women I work with day in and day out, these are incredibly intelligent women. This has nothing to do with actual aptitude or intellect or any of that. This is a subconscious belief system that got wired in very, very early in life. And we just never learned how to rewire it, how to reprogram it.

How do you break that cycle? If they're, if that's what they've been.

Telling themselves their whole life, you're not gonna believe how simple this is. And that's like a rule. Come on, man. There's a rule of thumb for me because I know that the. One of the greatest enemies to you creating and receiving what you desire is overwhelm. And too many people get caught up in overwhelm. So I try to make this stuff again stupid, simple. So very briefly, you just have to understand a little bit about how your mind works. So you have a conscious mind, which is all the self awareness, you know, all of the thoughts you're aware of, you know, your, your impulses, your insights, your creativity, all that stuff that occurs in your conscious mind, your subconscious mind is generally something you're not going to be terribly aware of. But here's the kicker. As aware as you are of your conscious thinking, it's only responsible for about 5% of, of what you do, what you create, what you decide every day, the subconscious mind 95% of the time. Driving the, driving the bus, the boat, the ship, whatever. So you've got to get in and reprogram the subconscious mind. And it's way easier than you would think. It sounds like you need to go get a PhD. But you don't. You don't. You can do the very basics on your own. And, and I recommend a 30 day plan. And it's easy, 20 minutes or less a day. If you can't give this 20 minutes, then I don't know, like really, I can't help you. Can't help you. Yeah.

Do you really?

Exactly. So super simple. Number one, you, like I said, decide what you desire. Number two, you want to write out what you currently believe about whether or not that's possible, whether or not you deserve it, whether it's even real. So let's take something super simple like a statement about making your first six figures in business, right? You really desire to make that first six figures in business and be profitable. Because we don't want to leave that out. But part of you believes it's too hard, it's not possible, you don't have enough time, you don't have enough skill, enough expertise, whatever the excuse is, okay? You become very aware of what that belief is. Now I want you to sit down and completely rewrite that belief in what I call a power statement. And I call them that because affirmations feel fluffy to me. I feel like people think you can just walk around saying, I'm a millionaire, I'm a millionaire, I'm a millionaire all day long. No, no, no, not gonna work, not gonna work. And the reason why is you're only saying that in your conscious mind. It's not going to get into your subconscious mind unless you write it and say it like a power statement. Now here's what a power statement is. It is an affirmative statement. So it's like writing an affirmation. But here's. Here are the two pieces that are non negotiable. Your statement has to, number one, evoke really powerful positive emotion for you. So when you say it, or you read it, or you write it, you get fired up about it. You feel optimistic, you feel passionate, you feel excited, you feel hopeful. So when you write it and you say it, it's got to muster that up in you. And then the second piece is, it's got to also evoke a crystal clear image in your mind. So when you go to write the statement, you want to sit with that for a little bit and create a really cool image in your head. Play the whole scene out. What's it like when you get to December 31st and you're running your numbers and you, you realize, holy crap, I passed six figures. This is amazing. And look at my profit account. And what are, what are you feeling? What are you wearing? Where are you? Details. Now again, I want to give you a reason why you have to do it this way. And here's why. Your subconscious mind will communicate in language. It understands your main, you know, whether it's English or Spanish, French, whatever, it understands that. And you can communicate with your conscious mind that way. The subconscious mind doesn't understand that and it doesn't communicate via language. It communicates via emotion and image. So if you're looking to rewire a subconscious belief that you have about money or success or power or any of it, you have got to communicate that to the subconscious mind with imagery and emotion. Is that making sense?

Okay.

Okay, cool. So here's what you do with that. And I'm going to recommend to you, like I do to everybody that you only look to reprogram one or two main limit and I call everybody pretty much calls them limiting beliefs at a time to keep yourself out of overwhelm. So you write down the two, your two new power statements. I always tell people, write them on like a cool neon index card and put it at the side of your bed, you know, on your, on your nightstand. Every morning you're going to get up, you're going to read them, you're going to say them, you're going to pull up the emotion, you're going to pull up the image and then you're going to let it go throughout the day. Your only job with any of this is to do two things. Number one, be in a sort of a being or a mode of anticipating that it's coming to you and expect that you are going to see evidence of it. And then call in your focus. Focus and attention are two of the most powerful gifted mind tools that everybody has access to. So what you put your focus and attention on, your experience of it will automatically expand. And you guys already know this. When we focus on things that stress us out or worry us, we feel like it gets bigger and bigger and bigger. Well, the, it's also true for the positive things and the things we're looking to expand. So you just kind of go about your day and you stay, you know, maybe bring this into mind. A couple times I like to use post it notes. Once in a while I'll drop them in my wallet or you know, put them somewhere that I know I'm going to see during the day. And then at the end of the day, you grab your notebook, your journal, your laptop, whatever. I always recommend, by the way, that people handwrite because there's research that backs up that it works far. Things work far better in terms of your brain and neural pathways when you actually handwrite rather than type. But at the end of the day, you're going to sit down and I want you to log three pieces of evidence every single night for 30 days that show up in your experience, that support that not only what you are asking for, asking to change or looking to rewire is possible, but that it's actually happening and is going to be your new normal. Now here's the thing. When I did this, when I first started doing this, I started kind of fleshing this out for the first three or four days, I would get to the end of the day and I would be cursing and I would go, oh crap. Nothing should. There's. I got Nothing. I got nothing. And so what'd you say?

Squad squat?

Total squad squad.

I want our listeners to understand what you're talking about.

And my words, like, see, this doesn't work. This is too easy. This can't possibly create long lasting change. Why? Because we've all been hardwired to believe that anything that's worthwhile has to result from struggle. Total bs. Total BS by the way. So I had to choose to tap back into what I deeply desired and, and to say, you know what, I'm, I refuse to give up on this. And by day five, stuff started flooding in and I have every one of my clients, whether it's a private one on one client or a group coaching client, I have everybody do this for their first 30 days and without fail they start to prior to 30 days notice that their resistance is totally gone. The evidence is showing up and everything is starting to shift. It's incredibly powerful and I challenge all of your listeners to give it a go for 30 days.

So I outline I want a million dollars. And it's a true desire and have a reasons behind it. I don't think you're saying within 30 days a million dollars is going to appear in my hands, but evidence or a pathway is going to appear.

Yeah. So your resistance, in other words, think about the things you've been resistant to in the past. And resistance shows up when you truly want something but you don't believe you can have it or it's possible and you feel that internal feeling of like, damn it, I really want this thing. But this feels so, this feels impossible. This feels like a pipe dream. That's resistance. That's all that is. After 30 days of practicing this, what happens is your brain begins to develop brand new neural pathways. Now neural pathways are just kind of the highways for your brain cells to communicate on. That's just the simplest way to describe it. And you want your brain on board with everything you're doing in business. But right now your brain is wired to make your current limiting beliefs easy to believe. Why? Because you've thought it over and over and over and over for however many years. It's a well worn, grooved pathway. So in about 30 days your brain's going to start to create new connections and new pathways. And your resistance to believing that things are possible and are actually already beginning to happen for you, that resistance is going to dissipate. So when your resistance dissipates, you get way more excited, you get way more inspired and motivated and it's much easier to take Consistent action towards what you desire.

Now maybe I take the pathway or groove too literal. That analogy that what I'm seeing is in our brain. You know, I've been believing certain thing, you know, I'll never, I'll never be rich or whatever. The thing is, I've been saying for 40 years, even though I'm only 39, amazing, everyone, I'm 39, I'm not.

Well, you thought it in conception.

Conception, right, right. My mother's womb. I'm like, I'll never be rich then it's so grooved in my mind in 30 days it sounds like, yeah, maybe there's a new pathway being formed. But it's very easy to fall back in that divot of my old thinking. Just one thing can throw me off and I'm back.

And this is where conscious, the conscious mind comes in and being disciplined about your thinking, really, really. This is where you can tap into the power of your really what you allow to, to party in your brain all day. So you've gotta be very self aware and you've gotta also just use some really simple techniques like thought stopping. So in other words, you recognize that a thought that is not supporting where you're going shows up and you stop and you pivot towards something else. That's why everything you do with mindset has to begin from a foundation of clarity. It's around what you desire to be, do and have. And once you're super clear on that and you're committ, you can always come back around. And when things get hard, you spend some time doing whatever it is you do. Journaling, meditating, thinking, daydreaming, having conversations about whatever the things you have committed to being, doing and having. That's what gets you through the hard part.

So Kelly, like I, I decided three months ago to stop drinking. Not. And it actually wasn't like, I don't have a drinking problem. Yeah, I mean, I slobber, I slobber when I drink. But I, but I just decided, yeah, I can take it or leave it. I'm just gonna leave it. And I said, you know, I'm gonna leave it for three months. I'm actually thinking now I don't miss it at all. I mean, I may not drink again for a long time. I don't know. But here's what's interesting. The resistance I get from the outside world. So I was in Mexico and like, oh, you don't drink, Michael, I thought we'd go for tequila shots. I'm like, no, I'm in. We're going, but I'm just gonna, you.

Know, Guys doing okay.

I haven't seltzer one.

People look at you like, you're weird, right?

Yeah. I'm like, it's agua con mineral. Oh. But there's a lot of resistance.

Yeah.

Same thing, I think, with money. If I say, you know, I'm gonna have this money mindset, you're like, that's not who you are. You know, your upbringing. How do you get past the resistance of the external world?

Yeah. So here's how I want you to start to look at it. Remember when you were in, like, middle school or high school, and you were in a clique or a group or whatever you want to call it, and one of the kids in that group said, you know what? I'm kind of not down with this anymore. And they start to step away or they start to change their behavior, and then the whole group pounces on them. Right? Like, no, no, no. Get back in here. You're a loser. Or you're not cool, or we're just, you know, we're just gonna not talk to you anymore. You know, the pressure starts. Right? Here's why. It's the same thing that happens in adulthood, by the way. I mean, how many times have you been surrounded by adults and you feel like you're in middle school? So it's for the.

Wow. When people around me, they think they're always middle school, the way I behave. That's a good point. Touche. Touche. He is a. He is a moron. Okay, so, yes, I understand what you're saying.

So it's for the same exact reason. And. And here's why. Because when one person sort of breaks the group code, what happens is it automatically forces everybody else to have to stop and take a look at what they're doing and how they're doing it. And that triggers the hell out of people. It makes the average person very, very uncomfortable when you say this. No, I'm no longer going along with this. This doesn't serve me well. Like, do you. I'll respect whatever you want to do, but this is no longer kind of good enough for me. That's what it comes down to. And it triggers the hell out of people. And so that's interesting. Oh, yeah. And so it requires you to have to really be working on your confidence and confidence. I mean, it kind of sounds like a cliche. You've heard this before. Total inside job. Total inside job. So just in the past, I'll give you an example. Several years ago, when I decided to leave my psychotherapy career, I'd been at 20 years, advanced degrees, certifications, school loans at the wazoo. And I was like, yep, I'm done. I'm done. I'm being. I really feel called to go do this other thing I feel passionate about. It lights me up, makes me want to get out of bed every day. And people thought I had lost my damn mind. They re. And my husband, who is, like, my greatest supporter ever, just kind of gave me the crooked look a little bit. You know what I mean? Like, are you sure you're not losing your mind? You're just gonna walk away from a full psychotherapy practice? But I had done so much work to get clear inside myself about what I really, really desired, and part of it was having a much bigger impact on people that I was literally. No matter what people said to me, I was like, well, for your thoughts. But, yeah, that's really got absolutely nothing to do with me. And here's why. Understand this very, very clearly. What people say to you about you and the way they treat you is a projection of them. That is it. That's all you ever have to know. That's all you ever have to know. And for most people, it is totally unconscious. They are not aware at all that that's what they're doing. But your boundaries have to be so strong that you don't take that stuff in.

But here's a guy, you devoted your life to him. Him to you, your husband. And he says, kelly, what the are you doing? Like, this is. This is a me, you know, this is your career. You've changed lives. You're abandoning this. Is that really a reflection of him, or is he actually trying to do what's in your best interest?

So consciously, you know, what he's thinking is he wants to protect our family. He wants to protect me. Of course. Of course. Comes from a good place. Place. But underneath that, what he's projecting is his own fears, because they were not my fears. I was not afraid. I mean, I have my days. Don't. Don't get me wrong. I have my days where I'm shaking in my boots about stuff, especially when I'm stretching outside my comfort zone, I get really frightened, like anybody would. But it. That was not about me. That was about his fear. And when we were able to have a conversation where I said to him, tell me what you're afraid of, and he talked all the way through it. What he got to at the end was, you know what I know about you. Whenever you make up your mind about something, it happens, period. So actually, I got nothing to worry about.

So let's talk about those days. We actually have a recording of your mind. I don't know if you. We have this technology here.

Really?

Here's what. You had one of those days.

It's amazing, right?

Yeah. The question you had to your mind, you said, should I continue to do this path or should I go back to psychotherapy? Should I continue this new path I'm on? And here's your mind's response.

Oh, hell no.

Right? It's pretty amazing. It was pretty amazing.

Oh, my God.

It sounds exactly like me, except you.

Wouldn'T believe how much money we put into that.

Wow.

So. Yeah, I know. So the question is this. We all have those days. Yeah, I'm done. It's not working. How do you get past that day? That's the key. How do you get past.

So psychology 101, you've got to understand what your ego is. Because everybody thinks ego is like. Because it's kind of like a pop culture word that's referred to as arrogance or conceit or whatever. That's not your ego. Okay, be very clear. Your ego is that voice inside of you that is. That criticizes you, that treats you like a child, that tries to shut you down, that tries to scare the crap out of you. All of that. That's the voice of your ego. That's not the voice of who you really, really are. And this is something I learned in my twenties. And the way. I mean, I was studying psychology at the time, but. But I also was in the throes of a really serious eating disorder for about seven years. And when I decided to get better, that voice was like, oh, no, no. We are going. We are going to continue not to eat, and we're going to continue lying about eating, and we're going to continue to binge and do all this crazy stuff. Right. Once I realized. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. That is not actually me speaking. That's not me at all. Because the. The true wise me wants to be well and healthy and active and productive and confident and all these other things. Once I realized that I didn't have to listen to that voice anymore, then it was like, game on. Game on. That means I am in charge, and I make all the decisions. So the best thing for you to understand when this voice, you know, some people call it like, their inner critic, pops up is that your ego's got one job. Its job is to maintain the status quo, even when the status quo sucks. So if you're in. Yeah, so if you're in struggle and you're in hustle mode and you're burned out, and the way you're managing money or running your business or your relationships aren't really working, the ego doesn't care that you're not experiencing that very nicely. The ego just goes, here's the deal. The devil you know is better than the devil you don't. And so I'm going to do everything I can to keep you right where you are. And that is just the part of us that's trying to be really self protective. And for a lot of us, us who have experienced some crazy stuff in life, especially in childhood, you have your ego to thank for getting out of that. Your ego is the thing that got you through that. But what you take from those crazy experiences and bring into adulthood, it no longer works for you. So when you're having these tough days and that voice in your head is really like yammering at you, you have got to go maybe deeper is a better word, and connect back to what you deeply desire. Because your deepest desires come from. And I don't care what you, what word you use. Spirit, source, universe, God, divine, don't care. Use whatever word you want. That's where your deepest desires come from. Not from the ego. The ego will look to shut you down. Because in order to get to your greatest desires, you've got to stretch outside your comfort zone. And it does not want that.

You know, I guess it's kind of related in the news right now. It's unbelievable how many sexual harassment, sexual deviants are being nailed against the wall. And it's awesome. It is shocking to a guy like me. I'm so ignorant. I'm actually ashamed and embarrassed. I'm not aware of how prolific these problems are. I'm also.

My husband said the same thing.

Okay, well, I think it's a different viewpoint.

It is.

And that was one thing that I didn't realize how shocked men were because like, to me it was kind of like, of course, like it was all. I mean, I feel like it's a huge part of the way we navigate and you know, kind of. That's right, mobilize in our world.

So every woman I've talked to said, duh, wake up, Mike. And every guy I've talked to is like, really? This is happening. So there's got to be a hard wiring for men like me to be so ignorant and for women to say, it's so Obvious, but not speaking up. Up. I'm just curious, Kelly, why are women speaking up now? What's causing this extraordinary change? And this is kind of the system you're talking about, but on a major scale. Will it really change? Will this really change?

Yeah, there's no question. It's already changing. It's already changing. And it's just part of it is just because people like you are willing to have these conversations and to say, holy crap. I didn't even. I knew it was a problem, but I really didn't know. Do you know what I mean? Like, I was talking with my husband about it the other night, and I don't know that I've ever told him, you know, some of the things that have happened to me in terms of sexual harassment since I was 13 years old.

It's so commonplace. It doesn't feel like. Yes.

And he was looking at me like his head was gonna spin off. I mean, I showed him last night some of the Facebook message, like, private messages I get from men. It's. It's unbelievable. And he was floored. And I'm like, no, no, no. This is all week long. This is constant. It's constant.

Normal. Unfortunately, yeah.

But it is absolutely changing. And I see it as a function of two things. Number one, you know, and this is a whole other conversation, but really, collectively, the. What a lot of people refer to as kind of like the divine feminine is rising. And all that means is that. That the masculine has really, really at the patriarch speak has really driven things for a very, very long time. Right. And systems were set up where women had had to operate from a place of fear as a result. And what's happening is that women are. We're talking more, we're connecting more, we're seeing each other more. And we're also connecting with more men like you who are saying, look, I don't completely get it, but what I know for sure is this is not okay. And we're having more conversations. And so the fear is having to take a backseat. And look, fear is going to come for the ride with everything. The thing that differentiates people who are successful in what they seek to do and people who struggle is the kind of power you give to your fear. And so I think about what happened just happened with Matt Lauer, you know, I'm sure you guys read about that, you know, online with.

I made. I made an amazing joke about it.

It's really funny, guys.

So this is. So let's hear it.

Get ready to laugh your ass off. It's only slightly inappropriate. So this is when Matt Lauer, it came out that he had a lock under his desk. Within a second. I came up with a knock knock joke, but it goes lock, lock. Who's there? Matt Lauer.

Oh, that is brilliant. Brilliant.

Is that knock knock.

I can't contain it.

Yeah, I know. You guys are such a holes. So yes, we know the Matt Lauer thing. And I came out with this joke and listen on Twitter, it got three retweets. No one likes it.

It was your mom, your sister.

No, it was all guys and one person. The only comment just said, too soon.

Yeah. And my answer to that is, it's like way overdue. Too late, not soon enough. You know what I mean? But, but here's the, here's the thing, right? There was one woman who came forward that busted this thing wide open. And, you know, everybody's talking about how Matt Lauer must feel and his family and his co host. And I'm like, holy cow. Think about the weekend this woman had before she came in Monday with her attorney, you know, and, and what she had to do to navigate her fear to put it in place just long enough to show up with her attorney. That is a badass. That is somebody who has got her, who is mentally really, really tough. You know, But I guarantee you, she had moments of want. Curl up in the fetal position and watch Netflix for a year.

You know, the terror I couldn't imagine. You walk into Matt Lauer's office and all of a sudden you hear. And the door locks.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, that's, that's like assault. I mean, that's terrifying.

Yes, it is. And that's why it's so powerful. Because when you can instill terror and fear in somebody else, you are automatically in control.

Especially, I think, too, like a beloved Persona. Somebody who, you know, people adore him and he's likable. There's something very affable and warm about him. So, you know, it's easy when somebody's a, you know, an asshole. Yeah, People can see it.

Yeah. Harvey Weinstein's like, deserve it, Dick.

Yeah, yeah.

But Matt Lauers, right? It doesn't compute.

I put up a quote.

Oh, no, go ahead.

Oh, no, I was just gonna say, I put up a post the other day about this on Facebook saying to people like, can we please stop being surprised that nice men sexually harass women exactly like you? There are lots of people, you know, that you would absolutely say, oh, he's such a nice guy, such a good guy, really like him. And he has sexually harassed somebody. So we've got to stop being so surprised, you know what I mean? That it's not like they're dirty, gross guy walking around, goose and everybody. It's like. It's not like that. It's a much more insidious problem.

Yeah. No, that reminds me of a quote from the show. One of my favorite shows is into the woods and it's Prince Charming and he, he cheats on Cinderella and when she approaches him about it, he says, I was raised to be charming, not to be trustworthy or something like that. And I feel like that's the quote, unquote normalcy.

Very indicative.

And recognizing it, they are Personas, especially anybody in the public eye to a degree, they've created a Persona.

Right, right.

It's not at all indicative of who they are as a person.

Yeah. So we're talking about the money mindset. Let's talk about their mindset. Can a guy like Matt Lauer really resolve this and get on the straight narrow?

He can. The only people I've seen not able to make significant change with this are people with personality disorders. So somebody who's got a narcissistic personality disorder or antisocial or borderline, even borderlines once in a while can, can change with the right kind of therapy. But there. Those are the only people I have seen who will. Will not be able to change this behavior. Everybody else can absolutely change this behavior. Will it be easy or fast? Nope. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. But that doesn't mean it's not worth it. Right. And that's. I mean, that's what we have to say all the time, even about money or business or. Are the things that we're doing in life not always easy, not always fast? But if it's what you really desire, then it's worth it. It.

I got two more quick things for you before we gotta go. First is. First is what our listeners right now, they want to get in the money mindset. They desire it. What's the first thing they can do to start moving on a positive path toward cash?

Okay, so the first thing is just kind of going back to what I said before is begin to get clear on what you desire and then do what I, the, the 30 day, you know, steps that I, that I told you to do and do it relentlessly. No, I got busy or I'm tired and I forgot or the kids were, you know, bothering me. None of that. None of that. You have to decide that this is absolutely a priority and the way you decide it is. You sit down and you get clear with yourself what is at risk for me if this doesn't change. And it's the same thing like with. With profit first, right? When you go to implement the system, you've got to be really, really clear. If I don't put this into place and take consistent action on. On the steps, what's at risk for me? And I got real clear about that when I was reading your book and then began to. I mean, it's my profit first days are scheduled on my calendar. My team knows not to call me during that time. It's. It is all in place because I was no longer available for what was happening because I wasn't doing it. And you have to decide the same thing. What's at risk for you and what are you no longer available for? You know what's leaking. Your money, your energy, your joy, all. All of that stuff.

And then so do the 30 day challenge and be religious, relentless. Yeah, sorry, what else?

And then the tangible piece with money because obviously you want to pair your mindset with taking really congruent, consistent action is implement profit first without questions. Change my.

Almost embarrassed I cut you off earlier.

No, no, really, it has changed my entire business. I say this to my clients, I say this in my Facebook group. I say this everywhere. Implementing what you taught has changed my entire business. I. Now you know, it's not. I don't run a business to serve people and pay my bills anymore. That's what I was doing, you know, because I was always about service first. And then I'm like, yeah, this kind of isn't cutting it. You know what I mean? Like I.

You have the Hallelujah. All right, well, here. Oh, so that's wonderful. Now I got one more question for you and you have to answer in 30 seconds. You did promise a juicy psychotherapy story and you have my permission to use names.

Oh, thanks. But I really like to side so up a lawsuit because that was not my private plan. Paying for an attorney.

Like a. Like a 30 second juicy story or.

No, yeah, hold on, let me think of. Oh, well, I mean. Oh, gosh. Okay, so I have had murders confessed to me. I've had. Oh, yeah. Oh, for sure, for sure. And I will say, and this isn't funny, but this is the. This is like a reality check. The things that people have shared with me about childhood abuse, Stephen King couldn't come up with. Truly, he could. He could. Not there. I couldn't if, you know, if I was getting paid to write A horror movie couldn't come up with the stuff that I have been told, and quite often it was by people who were in their 30s, 40s, and 50s, and I was the first person they told. So we. So, like, the whole point is we carry so much stuff around with us for so long. Some of it is just kind of run of the mill dysfunction, you know, when you've had a great family. But, you know, we all come from some dysfunction and some of it is like traumatic, horrendous stuff. So we've got to understand that doing this work on getting our mind straight with what we desire, it's imperative. It's not negotiable work because honestly, if you don't, how can you run a business that changes the world? And that's what I'm in it for. I'm in it to change people's lives. I want nothing short of transformation when. When people come to work with me.

So my little segment on juicy psychotherapy did not go the way.

I'm so sorry.

No, but. But it's the reality. There you go. That's what I wanted to hear.

Doesn't count because he was schizophrenic and was talking to three or four other people in the room at the time when he asked me to marry.

Yeah.

And it was like he thought it out really well. It was like a Vegas trip. And I mean, he had the whole thing planned out and he was going to take me shopping for the dress and whatever. And I was like, yeah, but you haven't showered in about two weeks. So I'm thinking my answer is no.

Yeah. Otherwise I'm in.

That's my qualification. The only thing.

And the next.

That's my.

Came in honestly. And. And I don't say this to make fun of schizophrenia in any way, but just, I mean, it was. Was. It stopped me in my tracks. He came in talking to me about all of the, like, the six or seven different vampires that were also in his body. So I said no to the proposal. I did. But I ended up with a way better one later. So I'm good now.

I'm good.

No, no, my husband. My husband actually pretty grounded. He's an engineer. So fortunately he's not hearing voices or. Or we might be in a lot of trouble because he's a pharmaceutical engineer. So. Yeah, that wouldn't go well. That wouldn't go well.

Oh, no. Yeah, he's dipping. Yeah, no, I wouldn't. That would be that good. All right. Hey, Kelly, the money mindset stuff, it's amazing. I know our listeners want to learn more about that.

Yeah. So there's two places you can find out more about me. Go to my website, which as of this recording is actually with the web developer and it's coming out January 1st. New brand new website, new everything. And that's easy. It's kellyruta R U T A dot com or if you want to start engaging with me and my community immediately and get access to a free 60 minute training where I outline everything pretty much I talked about with you today. All you've got to do is visit my Facebook group, which is called the Millionaire Mindset Masters, and just ask to, to join and I'll let you in. And the training is in the file section and you can go watch that immediately.

Awesome. We'll have the links in our show notes. Kelly Ruta, thank you so much for joining us today.

Thank you.

Thank you guys. I have had such a blast.

Me too. All right, we'll catch you in a little bit. Give me a punch.

Oh my God.

Right, right in my right eye. That was like a little bit like you were throwing that punch. And Christine, you stuck your finger out just a little bit and poked me in the eye.

You're welcome.

Yeah, okay.

You're welcome.

Here's what we're going to do next. We're going to disinfect from that story of disgusting. This the very end that she had to share. But I, I woof. Ah, that's some scary stuff. I would never want to be a psychotherapist. I mean, that's the most amazing job.

I had to hide my. Can I, can I just tell you that when. Okay, so in graduate school, I had to do a year. She's black. I'm going to tell you the story about.

We can't keep her down, guys.

So for a year I had to do, you know, an internship with schizophrenics, right? So in Trenton, New Jersey. Can I just, just setting is the setting there.

Okay, enough said.

I mean, we're from New Jersey, so we get it. We get it.

So Trenton Psychiatric Hospital, which is no longer really functioning, was about five miles down the road and we ended up with one of their patients in our facility. Anyway, I'm sitting down with this guy in the cafeteria just having a regular old conversation and all of a sudden he gets this look on his face. He jumps up from the table and lunges at me and I'm like, holy shit. So I hop up and I just take off and he is chasing me around the facility. The staff had to lock me in a closet until they could sedate him because. And here's the kicker. Because totally. Because he thought I. He saw me as the driver of the ambulance from Trent Psychiatric Hospital, and he wanted to kill me.

Oh, my.

He thought I was coming to take him back to the hospital. All. Yeah.

Okay, now, okay. Go back to your closet just for a second, because we gotta wrap up the show. That was unbelievable. But if you. Another juice. But if you're juicy, one hop back in. So. All right, here's the deal. We're gonna summarize what we learned. We are going to do some listener mail. Yeah, I forgot to play this last time. You got mail. Genius. Genius. And. And then what else are we gonna do? Oh, and then I'm gonna thank our questions. Corporate. No, partners. Partners. And other stuff. All right, so actually, let me start off by thanking our corporate partners. So first I want to thank Fundbox. That's a cash flow accelerator.

Yeah.

Yeah. You have a psycho. You have some psychotic person chasing you, and you're like. He's like, just give me money. And you need money. Guess we'll do fund box instantly. We'll transfer it over to you. What if you need to make a phone call? Maybe that. That psycho will not. Like, maybe he. He. He's got you pinned down. And he's like, before I kill you, I'll give you one call. Next diva.

Happens all the time.

It could. And you know that call will go through. I wouldn't trust myself if I was in that situation. I wouldn't trust Verizon or AT&T.

Yeah, so you better tell them only if it's a nextiva phone.

Yeah. And the beauty about it is, like, he'll like, oh, do you have it on? You're like, no, I actually have to use an IP connected phone. So it's down the hallway. Just hang here. And he's like, okay. And that's when you start running.

Yeah.

It's an escape technique. And then the last thing is receive a bank. Think about all those receipts you get from your psycho killers.

They don't pay.

Yeah.

Or does he have receipts of what.

They charge for that?

The rubber gloves, the aprons, the acid, the tubs.

He sends it to his victim.

He said in advance. In advance.

I don't do this for free.

He's like, this. This shit's expensive, dude. Like, you think I'm not paying for it for free to you?

So.

And you're like, you know, why don't we just cancel the whole deal?

He's like, I have to.

Okay, okay. But if he doesn't, you can scan to receipt bank plus they have evidence.

Thank God.

Okay. That went nowhere else.

That was stressful.

What'd you learn today, Christina?

I've got like two and a half pages of notes. I feel like Kelly and I could talk for days.

I love Kelly.

I love Kelly.

No, seriously.

No, I think one of my favorite things is how your subconscious mind takes in more through emotion and. Yeah. Versus language in the conscious mind. And how you have to marry the two together. Because I often will. I'll try to do a power statement. I'll be like, oh, this is how I'm feeling. This is how I'm doing. But it does not connect unless you put real raw emotion and a true picture behind it. That's genius.

Bingo. What'd you get?

Yeah. My biggest takeaway on the microphone a little bit there. Oh, yeah, sure. Thanks. I think my biggest takeaway was that your conscious thinking only represents 5% of your thinking. I think that's mind boggling to me. Yeah. And can I tell you a little trick that I do? So I do this thing called mirror. Mirror. So in order to feel what I want to happen, I stand in front of the mirror and I pretend I'm making a phone call to, like, I usually do my sister. And I explain exactly what happened. Like, you know, so.

Of what you want to happen.

Yes, yes. And so like, I. And then when you're looking at yourself, it's almost. It's like visual example, and you start to feel it and you do it over and over and it like, it kind of gets into who you are.

So, Kelly, I don't know if you're a fan of corn cob pipes, but stick that one in your corn cob pipe and smoke it. What do you think about that, Kelly?

I think that's brilliant. And that's actually what the basis of doing things like role play is. Role playing is for that very reason. So I think it's brilliant that you do that. And you might. If you were to sneak in my house later, you might catch me doing that.

Yeah.

I'm telling you, it works.

But if you sneak in her house, she will kill you because you're a psycho.

Can I also tell you that exact same thing happened to me where I used to be a social worker, and I was.

That's my training.

Yeah. And so the woman was schizophrenic. She was, like, wandering around the streets, homeless. And the sheriff brought her in and it happened to be Me interviewing her, and I don't know what I said, but I triggered something, and it was the same exact thing happened where something switched in her eyes. And all of a sudden she started to get up, and I was closer to the door, so I started running immediately, and she started running after me. And thankfully, we had a security guard at the end of the hallway, so he saw me coming and he intersected her. And then we have, like, a car to get into our staff quarters, so I was able to get on the other side of the door, but literally, exact same thing happened.

Did you say intercepted? I'm gonna bang you.

Intercepted. Intercepted.

Scalpel. Slowly take her apart. I got Kelly.

She gets him all the time. He had to stick that way.

I use the wrong words all the time. Kelsey will not release. She's like one of those German hunting hounds. They clamp down on you.

I make hybrid words all the time.

I do. I do. I kind of do. My takeaway was inner critic, that the ego is there specifically to maintain status quo. And it's not this arrogance component, even though that's a colloquialism we use now. It's really about maintaining the status quo even if the status quo is not what we desire, even if it sucks. Okay, those are takeaways. We want to know your takeaways listener also, so. Oh, shoot. We gotta go fast. I know we got another interview to do. So Brian, I'm sure is.

He's on it.

Yeah, he's kind of blocking and tackling for it. So real quick. I know we had some listener mail come in.

Yep, real quick.

She said, hold on, Wait, wait.

We got time.

We have time for this.

Time for that. No one can hear that. I gotta do it again. You've got mail.

Okay, okay, okay. This comes from Kylie. She says, I have set up my cap percentage and my tap percentage. I understand the 10th and the 25th of each month. My question is, let's say my profit is set at 5%. So I take 5% of income on the 10th and the 25th of each month, or 2.5% to make a total of 5%.

Kylie, great question. And the answer simply is, once you set your percentage, that is your percentage for every time you take the money out. So say you say it's going to be 10%. It's not 10% over the month. It's 10% of every transaction. The reason is there's volatility in your income, and you don't necessarily make the exact same amount every single period. So we just take the same percentage and addresses the automatic volatility. Say this week, you take in $1,000 and you're going to dedicate 10% to profit. 100 goes in, say two weeks from now, $2,000 comes in. That means it's $200. Next week, $500 comes in. Well, that's now $50. So it's the same percentage. Do not divide or diminish the dollar amount. All right, Christina, you can take us out now.

Yep, that's it. Leave us a comment on Stitcher, any podcast you use, itunes, Google Play, and of course, Profit first podcast dot com. And then I also want you to go over to the new and improved Profit first professionals dot com.

Yeah. Do you want to explain what that is? Cows. I saw you putting something in your mouth. You're starting, you're eating out. You're like, okay, I don't talk anymore. Do you want to share what it is?

Yeah. It's a brilliant website with all kinds of new things that you can get there.

Like what?

Like a cool power pack filled with things about Profit First.

Yeah. So if you're interested in driving profitability in your business. We started this organization that, shockingly, I think Kelsey works here, but maybe doesn't know what we do. We.

Oh, that's what you wanted me get at? That's your shtick.

I know it is my shtick. I want you to take it. So we help drive profitability in your business. But it is true. Kalisp is telling the truth. We set a brand new website. We have now a power pack for free. So once you. I think we call it the Profit power pack.

Yeah.

Once you have read some of the book, now you can get all these supplemental materials that help you drive property in your business. And then when you're ready to go to the highest level, that's when you hire a Profit first professional. We have hundreds of members actually, throughout the globe. We're just about. We're very close to having an Australian location permanently now. We have a permanent location in the Netherlands, throughout the uk of course. And these are people. They're independent business owners, accountants, bookkeepers, and coaches who drive profitability in your business. They're certified in the Profit first method. I've personally worked with many members. I've taught our team here. We have guides that bring them up to speed. We got a lot going on so they can bring you to the highest levels of profitability. If you're serious about profit and you want a coach to guide you through the entire process, we have them. They're called Profit First Professionals. So go to proffersprofessionals.com now. Now click on find and we'll hook you up. Okay, now I'm done. Any other comments from you too?

That's it.

We're out of here.

Thanks, everybody.

See you.

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