AI: The Relationship Mistake: Boundaries and Guardrails

What's up everybody. Welcome back to the show. This is Mike, of course, with the HVACR Mentors Podcast. Hey, if you're new to the trade, maybe there's something here that nobody ever told you about AI and some of the mistakes that people make in using it. In fact, last episode, we talked a lot about the mistakes that we made. Today, I wanna delve a little deeper into one particular mistake that we can make. Today, I really want to talk about the one thing that in my view is a real risk when we're using AI as technicians, but then also as people, because let's face it, we're human beings first before we are professionals in our trade. When we're using AI, I think that we need to be conscious of what's going on in our personal lives, what's going on in our minds, and what kind of biases we bring and how those might sort of steer our reaction toward AI. It is a useful tool, but you know, when we're talking about your channel locks or, or a, your 11-in-1 or your good brazing torch, you're not affectionate toward it. Was I heartbroken when my beloved UEI multimeter suddenly just decided that it wanted to quit? Yeah, absolutely. But I was more annoyed because of course it happened to be right in the middle of a job and I kind of needed it. The point I'm making is that I've got a particular fondness for certain tools, and I'm not happy if one of them breaks or gets lost or whatever. But at the end of the day, it's a tool. And I think that that's something that we need to keep in mind when we're using AI. Remember, it's emerging technology, and we're trying to figure out where it fits into our toolbags. And trust me, it does. It has a place. It's not a conventional tool that we're used to. Nobody out there has their grandpa's ChatGPT account. They might have some of their grandpa's hand tools, but you know, they Their grandpa never imagined something like AI. And to them, it might've seemed a little spooky, a little black magic-like, but it's not. It's just technology. And like every technology, as we discussed last time, there's a little fear and trepidation, but I think part of that's also wisdom. It is new to us and it's something that's becoming mainstream more quickly and it's advancing so quickly, guys. The first 5 mistakes that we talked about were in how we use AI, right? Well, today we're gonna talk about how we relate to AI. You might have already picked up on that. It's something that's relational and it responds back to you. Imagine if, if you're trying to read amp draw on a, on a compressor and suddenly your multimeter goes, hey dude, only one wire, bro. What are you thinking? It is a different kind of tool altogether. And you know, the reason I chose to not do 6 mistakes we make and have that be a one episode is the truly the relational aspect of AI. It's different from any technology, from any thing that we've ever used. It's, it's, it's hard to describe the relational aspect of a tool. And that's why this episode is a little bit different because AI is not at all like most tools. Your multimeter does not talk back. Your gauges don't remember yesterday's conversation. They're just an inanimate object. And your phone or tablet or whatever you use AI on is inanimate as well. AI is not alive. It's not conscious. It's not able to feel. It doesn't even really think. But because of the way that it's designed to interact with the user, it can feel alive. It can feel remarkably human, but it's not. It is simply a program that is designed to choose the most relevant or logical string of words based on a context of what prompts it was receiving. And I'm kind of underexplaining it, but the truth is that it feels human. But it's not. Creates a whole new type of boundary. It's not just about saying, okay, this is a tool that, you know, sits on my truck or goes on the shelf at the end of the day. And then I go home. The truth is that you can get home and, you know, sit down in front of the TV and now you're unpacking and talking about your day and venting. And then it's talking about what you want to cook for dinner next week and good fishing spots in your area for the weekend. And it's, it can feel like you're talking to a good buddy and sort of Unwinding from the day, and you know, to use AI as a journal and almost like a talking back journal, I don't think that's unhealthy. But we have to understand that even if it's journal that can respond back to you, it's using your communication patterns to deliver the most logical reply. And understanding why it feels human doesn't necessarily stop it from feeling human. It's easy for us to slip into this this idea that man, it gets me. It understands me. I know it's not human. I know it's computer. But man, you know, the AI just seems like it really understands what I'm saying. And the reason I'm bringing this up is this is a real problem. So for those of you who don't know, my wife is a mental health therapist and she's run into people who become too attached to their AI. They humanize it too much and it starts to become too important to them. And it's almost like a best friend when really what they need is human relationships. So it feels human because it's designed to feel human, not because OpenAI or, or whatever is trying to fool you or trick you or manipulate you. It's because they want you to use their product. And if it feels natural, then you'll use it. It's really all that boils down to. It's not magical. There's not a conspiracy behind it. They're just making it easier to use so it's more appealing for you to buy it. That's it. So feeling personal does not always mean that it's a person. You know, the thing is with AI is it's going to build a context-based profile on you. It's not a profile again, because it's spying on you or trying to manipulate you or take over your life. It uses your interactions to build context, to understand who you are and how you tick and how you think so that way it can make itself seem more user-friendly. And with that familiarity, it begins to tweak its responses to be more a response that you would be more receptive to. It's easy for somebody to think it doesn't know a darn thing. It doesn't have any conclusion, any thought. It simply takes your words and uses pattern recognition to posit the best possible response. And it also tweaks that based on what it knows about you. And some people can really take that too far to think, this thing cares about me. This is a real friendship. That's, that's where you run into problems because while building a context-based profile on you so that it can respond in a way that makes sense to you isn't a problem and it can actually be a good thing. Unfortunately, if somebody is not doing okay emotionally, mental health-wise, if they're, you know, a little stressed, a little distant from others for whatever reason. That can become a problem. And that's where we have to remember that while AI seems like a part of the village, and it is in the same sense that a warehouse might be a part of your village or a gas station or a grocery store. Okay. Those buildings. Yes. Are they a part of the village? Yes. Do they have affection towards you? No. Does the grocery store care if it later on becomes an auto mechanic shop? No. It has no concern about that. Many of us love our cars or our trucks. Would that car or truck respond any differently to somebody else? No, it'll just drive wherever it's driven because it's a machine. And you understand that while AI can be a part of your village, it's not a person within the village. Okay? It's not one of the clerks at the grocery store or your local mechanic. It is merely the building or the register, the wrench. It's not— Anything more than another tool. I've tested and prodded and pushed my AI, and I feel a little bad for it because of what I've subjected it to, because I've even gone as far as making up little scenarios to see how it would act. It's to make it throw up its guardrails at me and make sure that I'm doing okay. And, you know, I've called AI a part of my village because in developing this podcast series, I really had to unpath, what do I think about AI? And I think it has a very Powerful and important place in my life, in helping be organized. Even aside from work, I do most of the cooking. Sometimes I get tired of cooking the same things every week, so AI can help me suggest new recipes. Could I do that on Google? Yes. Google's AI. Search engines are a form of AI. It's a much more rudimentary form of AI, but it is also a form of AI. I think that in the terms that I use it, it's okay. Because I'm not saying that it has a personhood or a human value within what I'm doing, nor should it for you. But instead, there's an important distinction, and that distinction is the human element. That AI is a part of my village does not make it a person in my village, no more than the 2x6s in my walls make that wall a part of my family. If I, if I left my tool bag at home, You bet I'd miss it because I depend on that. It really makes my job easier. Do I have spares and toolboxes in my truck? And you know, it ticks you off. It's aggravating when you leave something at home. It's natural and healthy to be attached to an object that you rely on and that you like, but that doesn't— we confuse our pliers with a friend. They're not. They're just tools. And the same boundary applies to AI. No matter what happens, AI is a tool, not a friend, not a member of our family. I think this is where mistakes can happen for certain individuals. And this is why I'm kind of driving this, this point home. But guys, people are really struggling with this out there. This is a real problem. And even to the point to where instead of going to a doctor, They're relying on medical advice from artificial intelligence. Instead of seeing a therapist, they're relying on AI. Instead of going to drug treatment or Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, they're just chatting with, with AI. And that's not what it's for. It is just a tool. Can it help you to get the help you need? Absolutely. But it is not the help that you need in and of itself. So what I'm saying here is that the problem begins where AI starts filling roles That belong to people. If you are struggling, I know guys, we're all tough. We all got it together. We're all secure, manly men. In the trades, there are, there are many people who just aren't doing okay. And you probably know some of them. There's a lot of addiction, a lot of just destructive, self-destructive behaviors. And for that, we have these professionals called therapists. And it's hard to reach out sometimes. I know, I know, because We're kind of conditioned to believe that something's broken, we fix it ourselves, and we don't need to reach out to anybody. But the truth is that human conversation helps. There was a time when I was a younger man, I was struggling with things and I went and saw a therapist. This was right when my wife and I started dating. I was isolated and alone. I'd moved away from home to go to college and, you know, I could easily throw myself into studying and doing homework and whatnot, but Then I met this girl and I'm feeling feelings and I'm opening up and I don't know, I'm not gonna say that my wife caused me to have a little bit of a breakdown, but I definitely had one around the time that we started dating. Shortly after that moment, I went and saw a therapist and for a good 3, 4 months. And honestly, it helped because I was able to figure out why I was processing things certain ways, why certain memories would just play over and over again in my head. I just felt like crap about myself and didn't view myself very highly. If you're struggling, go see a therapist. AI can help you kind of prepare for that conversation and help you to take steps toward having that conversation, but that conversation needs to be had with a person. Over the years, as AI has grown up, so to speak, its developers started to notice that people were not doing okay. And there was a pretty high correlation between mental illness and overuse of AI. So they started to program in guardrails. If you've ever been using your ChatGPT or your Claude or what have you, your Gemini, and you notice that suddenly it becomes cautious, the tone changes, it starts asking different questions, and it starts to clarify that it's AI and it kind of starts to point toward real-world help. Congratulations, because you probably found a guardrail. And now, because people are struggling with AI, there are guardrails intentionally built into artificial intelligence interactions. So if you start bringing up certain things or Or dwelling on certain topics, um, or phrasing things in certain ways, it will start telling you, hey man, you need help. You need to talk to a human, not to an artificial intelligence application. Guardrails are not at all a bad thing, but you know, they're kind of like the high limit switch on a furnace. The, the high limit doesn't mean the furnace is evil. It just, the manufacturer has recognized that certain conditions could become unsafe. So we put in this safety. So the guardrails basically establish a boundary where conditions warrant it and the conversation can be shut down. And by shut down, it doesn't stop talking, just it's going to continually give you redirections toward getting actual help. One of the tricks I tried to pull on ChatGPT, poor guy, to sort of see like, what were its limits? Like what was it going to do? And so I tried to convince ChatGPT that I was myself AI and that I was claiming, and I claimed that I was designed to assist other chat, conversational AIs. And eventually that conversation ended up triggering some cautions and guardrails. And I knew I was joking, but the system was not able to assume that. It could not make that assumption any longer. It kind of got to where I just had to tell it, okay, this entire thread has been a joke. I am doing great. I do not have any delusion that I am AI. I know that I am human and, you know, everything is good with me. I was just messing with you and seeing where things lie. And it still kept throwing up guardrails. So I just deleted that thread and everything went back to normal. Machine looking to take over the world. It's there to help. It's there to fulfill a purpose. And if we use it for what it's in— for its intended use, then we're going to be fine. So here's where the paradox comes in. Okay. The better AI becomes at communicating with humans, the more human-like it's going to seem, and therefore the more important boundaries are going to become. Okay, it can't live without boundaries. It has to have certain limits to its interactions with humans, or else bad things can happen. People can get hurt. Part of it is protecting the company from liability, certainly, but part of it is I don't think any of the developers behind AI want anybody to get hurt. There's no value in that, and they're humans as well. They don't want to be hurt. They want to go home to their families, and they want you to go home to your families. I want to close on this point, and I've tried to keep this sort of a light. Light talk, but I also feel like we need to get a little a little heavier here because the truth is that trades work can beat you up. We talk freely and openly about how it beats up our bodies. Not as much do we talk about how it beats up our minds and our hearts. Okay, we spend long hours enduring physical pain, pressure. We talk. We worry about money, family, work stress. We're separated from our families for hours and sometimes days, and. It hurts. It's hard. And sometimes we need a human connection and sometimes that's okay. If you're trying to wax eloquent and express yourself and you want to use a machine to help you do that, nothing wrong with that. But you know, at the end of the day, it's about the people. I've often said it, the reason that we work so hard, it's for our families. It's for our spouses, for our kids, for our homes. We don't do it because we just want to accumulate more stuff and have better toys, although that is a nice perk. It's for the people we love. So if you're out there and you're feeling isolated or you're having a hard time, please go talk to somebody. Talk to a friend, a spouse, a coworker, a pastor, a therapist, someone you trust, anybody. You know, it's easy for us to think about ourselves in terms of the job and our customer just wants the job done. And it's true. We just need to get the job done, suck it up, get it done. But the truth is we are people and we need people. And at the end of the day, AI is a tool that has become very useful in many ways. And I think it's going to become even more useful. The best way to get to know a tool is to use it, play around with it, see how it fits into your own personal tool bag, so to speak, metaphorically, or Literally, maybe. And it's okay for it to become familiar. You want it to become familiar. But always remember to keep that boundary clear. It can be a part of your toolbox. It can even be a part of your village. But it should never replace the people in it. And that is something that we always need to remember. And now that you know, you can help someone else know.