How to Come Up with Your Top 5 Life Goals | The Big Leap #62

How to come up with your top five life goals. And I have gone through this process with thousands of people. Never had one person come back yet and say, hey, that didn't work. And he said, I was sitting there for six weeks not knowing whether I was going to live and die. And I came up with a question, and I started just answering that question, and it changed everything. And I said, well, what's the question?

But having gone through cancer, I remember staring at death in the face. You know, once you're a survivor, everyone who ever knows someone who had cancer says, hey, will you talk to my brother, my sister, my wife? And I also know some people I talked to who didn't listen and said, well, I'm gonna do it my own way. They are dead.

Since we're not gonna do any small talk, let's have some big talk.

All right. Welcome to the Big Leap. In this episode, we are going to be answering a great question that Gay came up with several years ago, which is how to come up with your top five life goals. And these are arguably some of the most powerful questions you can ever ask yourself that originated or at least ended up being in the book that Gay wrote called Five Wishes. So, Gay, what are some of the big takeaways in this episode that people want to tune into?

I think no matter what stage of life you're at, I happened to do it for the first time when I was in my 30s. I sat down and I figured out, what are the big five things I want to create in my life? And I came up with some really good ones, and they've all come true. So I think there's a great advantage. It gets you on the right path. And like they always say, if you're not following your own life purpose, you can bet that you're following somebody else's life purpose. And so it's a good idea to open up and claim that spot for yourself and figure out where you want the direction of your life to be mainly focused. And I came up with five. And you might come up with three or seven or however many you come up with, but this will show you how to do five.

And for sure, you're going to walk away with a lot of clarity on what you want to do. And I guarantee you this can become some of the most powerful dinner party or intimate connection that you can have with another person as well. So hope you enjoy this episode of the Big Leap.

Hi, this is Gay Hendricks. Welcome to our Big Leap podcast, and we've got a good one for you. Today, we're going to take you through, step by step, a really fun and deep process for how to come up with your top five life goals. And I've gone through this process with thousands of people, and I've never had one person come back yet and say, hey, that didn't work. So it always works, and if you'll give it a little 20 or 30 minutes of your attention, it'll work for you. How does that sound to you, Mike?

I think it's great. How did you originally come up with this? Before we get into the how to part of it, what's the origin story?

Oh, that is such a great question. Well, more detail on this can be found in my book, Five Wishes, but here's the quick sketch of it.

I got invited to a party in 1982, or 81, I think it was. It was just after my relationship with Katie got underway. So that would be right around 1980, 1981. And Katie was new in town, and I wanted her to meet people. And so I agreed to go to this party that I was invited to that I probably wouldn't have gone to except that she was there, and I wanted to take her and introduce her to a lot of my psychologists and therapist cronies in town. And so this was in Colorado Springs, Colorado, where I was a university professor and also did one day a week of private practice work there as a therapist. And so I was.

Oh, I should tell you why I wasn't that keen originally on going to the party, because.

One of my colleagues was getting married and it was an engagement party for him, and it was his fifth marriage, and I'd known him through 2, 3, and 4, and I didn't have a heck of a lot of confidence in number five.

So.

He had this habit of falling madly in love with people and then getting them large pieces of his real estate.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he was down to about 20% at this point. It can't get much worse than that.

He was always teetering on the brick.

So. Oh, by the way, I should tell you that he is actually still with this person. So I was absolutely wrong about it. But here's what happened. I went to the party with Katie, and Katie's a much more sociable person than I am, frankly. And so I wandered back and she was out meeting people.

So I wandered back into the library of the house, and I was browsing books. And then another fellow came in. I sort of caught him out of the corner of my eye, a tall, thin, bald gentleman. And he came in and he was doing the same thing and he was browsing at books. And so I made some little comment to him. I said.

You don't care for parties either, huh? And he said, yeah, I can't stand the small talk. And I said that lit me up because that's one of my pet peeves in life, like to waste any of my breath talking about, you know, stuff.

Who'S on TV or what's happening with the Kardashians or something like that. I'm totally an ignoramus about deliberately so. Yeah. So anyway, we bonded right away over our mutual dislike of small talk. And I said, well, since we're not going to do any small talk, let's have some big talk. You got anything you want to say in the big talk realm? And he said, yeah, well, I had a near death experience about six months ago. And I said, well, that qualifies. And I recently I was playing in a squash tournament. I'd done something, strained my heart or something and had heart palpitations. So I'd had a little scare myself, even though I wasn't but 35 years old or so. And so we talked about that and I said, well, what happened with the near death experience? And he said, well, I don't want to get into the details, but it left me with something that changed my life. And so it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. And I said, well, what was that? And he said, well, I was sitting there for six weeks not knowing whether I was going to live or die. And I came up with a question and I started just answering that question and it changed everything. And I said, well, what's the question? And so he said, you really want to know? You know, he's kind of very emphatic about this. He wanted to make sure I really wanted to know. And I said, yeah, I really want to know. And he said, well, I'll do it with you right now. He said, imagine you're on your deathbed maybe 50 years from now, or it could be tomorrow, but imagine you're on your deathbed. And I said, okay. And he said, how old are you? And I said, well, I'm 87, I think was what I said, and I don't know why I said 87, but. And he said, well, I'm going to ask you now the really important big question.

Was your life an absolute complete success?

And I said, yes. And he said, well, tell me three to five things that made it a success. And wow, that turned on the floodgates. In me. And at first, actually it brought up some fear, I think, in me. I didn't want to go that deep right there in that context. And I kind of, I kind of deflected him a little bit. Like I said, you know, can I get back to you on that? He said, no, you know, this is it. I'm probably never going to see you again.

And.

I said, okay. And I sketched it out. Basically I went home and took an hour later to write all this down and everything. But in that moment, I sketched out my big five. I came up with five. And so before I get into the detail on that, let's just invite people to do that in a real, in a really tightly formatted little moment. So wherever you're watching this or listening this, just take a moment to imagine that you're at the end of a life, end of your life, and you're there and I come in and I ask you, was your life a complete success? And you say, yes, it was. And I say, well, tell me the three to five things that made it.

So.

That was a great moment in my life because I went into a real deep state and I came out with these five things. And one of them, the first one that actually surprised me was I said.

The number one thing I want to create in my life is a long lasting love relationship with a woman with whom I can grow and change over a long period of time. And I was there with Katie at the party, but I had not made a commitment to her. I was still had my wings spread and a couple of back doors and a window open for escape. You know, I hadn't really locked myself into a full scale commitment and just chosen that. And so. But when I said that to the guy, I realized that's what I'm really here for. I need to do that. You know, I was already successful. I'd published books and been on TV lots and all that kind of stuff. And yet the one thing I'd never been able to do was have a lasting relationship. They'd always, you know, I always compared it to the Titanic. They would get underway with great fanfare and then hit an iceberg. And so I kept running into the same iceberg many, many times in my teens and twenties, and finally I owned it, that I was the iceberg. And things began to change. But so I also realized in that moment that I was not going to have that unless I made a full scale heart commitment to that. And that was a really life changing thing because right after the party I made that commitment to Katie, and here we are 40 years later now with all the stuff that' that we've done in our lives that wouldn't have come from. That wouldn't have happened. I don't think without that moment.

Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah. That stirred up a lot of emotion in me, telling that. I'm going to take pause here for a quick drink of water.

Okay. Well, while you do it, I took some notes because I.

You and I. I remember when this book came out and I interviewed you. It was probably pretty soon after we had met. I don't remember what year it came out. I actually put the link in my show notes.

Let's see here. Well. Oh, it wasn't that long ago. Only 2010.

So that's a long time ago. Yeah, I guess it is. But I knew you when it came out and we actually.

I remember I interviewed you about it and it's great to do it a little bit later. But while you did it, I. I wrote down.

My own. And if it's okay, I'll tell you what mine are right now.

At this point, that was what I was going to spring on you next. Tell us a couple of years.

The first thing is 92 is what came to mind. And of course, now we live in the age of longevity, so who knows? And I don't know if I've told you this before, I probably have, but to me, quantity means a lot less than quality. So I've come to terms with my own mortality and I. I really do feel complete gay. I don't feel like. Like, obviously I want more life, and I know my animal would be afraid if I was in a, you know, dealing with a mortality moment.

But having gone through cancer, I remember staring at death in the face and I just had to come to terms with the fact that I could have been dead in six months or sooner, a good number of times. And also knowing what it's like to endure a lot of physical pain. But the things that pop up for me, and I wrote them down. First of all, it's like my number one is marrying Vivian.

She's been my rock now for we're in our 21st or 22nd year of marriage. And, you know, I was just telling my son Zach yesterday that I'd be dead without her. And she's done a remarkable job of being my conscious, my conscience rather.

And opening my eyes to empathy I didn't know existed inside of me.

Just for whatever reason. My interpretation of where I was raised, how I was raised I had a lot of anger for a long time, and I think part of being with her is let me release that and all the philanthropic work that she's done and opened me up to put me in places I didn't realize even existed. And that leads to being a good dad to Zach. I had written off ever having children after my first marriage, and then in between, it just wasn't important. But she sparked something, again, I didn't know even existed in me. And being a dad has been truly one of the most satisfying experiences of my life. And then.

The third is spending time with my dying parents. My dad is very close to the edge right now. He's not conscious. And just a week and a half ago, I visited him in Minnesota. So he's born in 37, so I'd make him about 85, but his brain hasn't been in his body for a long time, a couple years now. And while I was there, he clearly recognized me. And he started mumbling. So I heard his voice, and it. I just fell apart because I just haven't talked to him in years. And he was such a remarkable man, and it not just broke my heart, but I said something to him and I made him laugh. And my mom was there, who's in two thirds of the way through Alzheimer's right now. She's losing it quickly. And my two brothers were there, and we just all cried together, but I felt as though I could walk away and feel whole. And, you know, there's some times when, like, I compartmentalized my memory of my dad as he was fading, so I was as good as I can be with his death. But, you know, I've. It's. I felt as good as I can, but this really finalized it for me. I felt complete.

Well, that's such a beautiful thing. I. I admire that so much.

Katie, when her mother had a stroke and was then couldn't speak or.

Communicate. Katie would go out sometimes and just.

Give her foot massages and things like that just to stay in connection with her. And I'll tell you, that's such a beautiful thing to communicate with somebody that. That you haven't been able to communicate with.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, just, like, held his hands and, like, he's a great musician, really great talent. And he was. We're playing John Denver music, which is always something he liked. And he played a lot of Johnny Cash Denver and that kind of thing. And I squozed his hands to the rhythm of the song, and he started responding. So, you know, there was someone in there, it's just. He can't talk. And you could just tell that it's just a jumbled mass of worms. But he had momentary. You could see he'd show up and his eyes lit up again and he'd mumble a little. So it was. It was delicious.

Yeah. That's beautiful. Well, that relates very much to my second.

Wish for my life, which was my life was a complete success because.

I lived in completion. I lived in a state of completion where there was nothing I hadn't said to keep people in my life, Nothing I hadn't listened to. Anybody.

That had something going with me was welcome to come and talk to me about it, and that I created no incompletion in my life. So that was.

Different from how my life started, because the way in which I grew up and a lot of the lessons I learned were about keeping secrets and stonewalling. You know, like, I grew up in the John Wayne era when men weren't supposed to cry. Men weren't supposed to show any emotion except anger. And so it was a big, big achievement for me to learn how to communicate in a way where I didn't hold anything back.

Wow.

That's great. That's great.

Well, I think one of the main. I think one of the main causes of stress and discomfort in our body is incompletion. Because if you. Let's say you're angry at somebody and you've stonewalled them, or you're sad about something and you don't cop to it, or you're scared about something and you don't communicate it, that sets up such a rattle. I can't stand that rattle anymore.

I used to be able. When I was a kid, I could lie like a champion, you know, without flinching.

But, you know, now if I communicate the slightest little thing that isn't quite authentic, I get a whole funny feeling in my body, so I can correct it quickly.

Well, I. I think I've told this before. One of the things I really appreciate about you is, you know, when you're done, you're done. And you. You have that great way of listening to your body, breathing in and going, nah, I don't want to do that. You know, it's like there's no. It's. It's just done. It's over with. And that's gay. And then I was gonna add one thing because I want to comment on the incompletion, but I want to finish. So I kind of did, like, the.

Deep personal stuff, but I'm Going to give you more of the what completes me. On the other part, looking back at life that has made life a success. So one of them is, over the course of all the businesses I've created, I've definitely created a lot of opportunities, jobs, wealth and abundance for other people.

And in doing so, I look at it now and I'm like you, like, I don't really have to work anymore having a personal wealth. I could quit if I felt like it and we'd be fine. It doesn't mean I don't want more, but I don't feel that, that nudge of discomfort because I don't have enough or I might run out. I'm just not afraid. And in doing so, I genuinely found my creative spark and feeling as though I'm celebrating. Not just creator, but, you know, in the work that I do, I get to help other people find their superpowers, find their purpose in life and live out their unique abilities and superpowers and like doing what we're doing now. You know, this is a highlight of my life to collaborate creatively, especially with a wise men. You know, Vivian gives me a positive hell about it all the time. I don't know what it is about you and older men, but you have this great relationship with wise mentors and getting emotional just thinking about it. But it's, you know, these are precious moments to me, the time we spend together.

Well, that's why you get to spend time with lots of wise elders as you appreciate it.

Yeah, yeah, it's great. And I don't feel a sense of incompletion.

And that I think that's a fairly new feeling and experience. Because.

Ambition and incompletion can often become the same things if it's unhealthy.

Yeah.

Also.

Your cancer, that basically took you a year, didn't it?

Yeah, it was a year plus. Probably.

You know, it was a year I was gone. You know, my, my doctor, when I got diagnosed, he says, I own your ass for a year, literally and figuratively. And I was like, ha.

Yes. That was like, doc, that's cold. Anyway, but then it took about three to feel fairly normal.

You know, where I could say I was probably 90% of the way there. And then five years where I was like, I hit my groove again, where I felt a hundred percent.

So basically you have 10% of your life invested in that whole process.

Wow. Shoot. I never thought of that.

Yeah, yeah.

Because it's been, it's going on. This is my, this is my 10th year. Clean.

Clean. Yeah. So let's take a moment and visit that. What lesson was worth devoting 10 years of your life to?

Well.

I meant to say 10% of your life, too.

Yeah, 10%.

Five years. Yeah.

A couple things come up, and maybe you can help clarify this. So the first one was.

How important asking great questions are.

That inspire your doctors to take so much interest in you that they invest two to five times more time in you than they would anyone else.

Wow. Wow, that's great. Yeah. That's a very useful thing.

Yeah. Yeah. And so I took so much interest in them and my healing that to this day, like, my oncologist is a good friend. When I was getting radiation therapy at Duke, this guy's a world renowned guy, and he treated me like his own son. He invited me over to his home during the holidays because I was there during Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year's and I met Nobel laureates.

At his parties. And he just treated me so like a professional and not as a patient. It was profound. And, and, and, and. And he knew what. What he. He said. And all my doctors said is, is they said, you're the happiest patient we've ever treated you. You always come in with a.

Smile on your face, and you seem.

As though you're really at peace with what you're going through. And I was compliant and, you know, interested. I was interested in their lives, and I took interest in the healing. And they're just not used to people who ask a lot of questions and.

Do something about it that's really fascinating. Let's extract the usefulness out of that. So you were really curious, genuinely curious, and you asked them questions about procedures and technicalities and things like that. And you also asked them questions, sincere questions about their own life and reflected back to them things that were going on. Yeah. So you transcended the purely professional relationship. Yeah. That's very useful.

I was just thinking of another way of looking at. Do you happen to. Have you ever figured out the cost of the lesson in terms of millions of dollars as well as lost income of your own, but the cost of the procedures. What's the number there?

Okay, so if I would have had to stroke the check for the treatments, and by the way, I know you know this, maybe you didn't remember. I wrote a book called Cancerpreneur, so the big C on the COVID here. And I. I did really document everything that happened and what the core lessons were, because I got asked, you know, once you're a survivor, everyone who ever knows someone who had cancer, says, hey, will you talk to my cousin, my brother, my sister, my wife? Because they're going through it, and I know as a result of just teaching them how to ask good questions. And this framework that I figured out, I know for a fact I've saved quite a few lives. And I also know some people I talked to who didn't listen and said, well, I'm going to do it my own way. They are dead. I have a lot of dead friends who just were horribly.

Uncoachable.

You know, that's a. May I jump in here? Because one of the most amazing things I've ever seen you do. It really just.

Actually it blew me away at the time because I'd never seen anybody do anything like that. You know, I'm a big proponent of taking 100% responsibility for things like your healing and then working in harmony with doctors and people like that.

You put out this message where you said you had the cancer and everything. Oh, yeah. And then you very specifically said, please don't send me your miracle cures, your special Tibetan herbs, your amulets, your. You went through this long list of things you did not want from people. It was like a catalog of all the horrible things in the new age, you know, that people kind of inflict on each other.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, no. Yeah. It was no MLM products at all.

Yeah. But I thought that was an incredibly bold step that you had thought through that and were clear enough about what you were doing that you could tell people how you wanted to be related to. That was what really impressed me. Blessings upon you for having the presence to do something like that.

Well, thanks. Yeah, I had forgotten all about it because what happened is the few people I told, suddenly I literally had 60 emails on all the stuff I should do and what I should be taking. And you can't sift through this and know what's BS. And I was also very.

Traumatized because I got 11 second opinions.

Because Vivian, when she worked for Deepak, reached out to Deepak, and Deepak got us meetings with a lot of heads of cancer treatment centers at some of the biggest hospitals like Sloan Kettering and Mayo. And I can't remember the What? Texas A M. And then in Duke. And then we went and saw some guy who is actually very famous and has since lost his license and went to jail for medical malpractice. But he was like, ah, there's nothing there. Nothing shows up in my scans. You should just do coffee enemas and it'll all go away.

So he was one of the, you know, shove green juice up your butthole kind of guys. And, And Vivian, like, once, once she started hearing this, she says, let's get the F out of here right now. And then wanted to bill us for bad advice. But.

So the answer to your question about the money, the treatments would have been about a quarter million, which was actually less than I expected.

Yeah.

And I really, genuinely had great doctors. And that was for all the tests, resectional surgery, a bunch of chemo and radiation at Duke. And.

Thank God I had great insurance because I think my out of pocket may have been 15, 20 grand max, which to me is a good deal for a living, right? It's a good deal. So thank you, Blue Cross Blue Shield, for that gift. And then in terms of money lost, here's something kind of fascinating. I would say I probably lost a couple million, you know, 2 to 4 million dollars in revenue. However.

I really gave up control to my team. And this is when I had Trafficizer instant customer. And I had. By then, I had lost my last partner through a. Unrelated thing that I take responsibility for to this day. But the net net was a really good friend of mine. Gene came in, took over the business, and then part, you know, ever got everyone on the same page. And even though our gross revenues went down, our net profit went up because I wasn't there, creating too many opportunities and pulling all my people in a zillion different directions like I often did. And he got everyone accountable and focused. And when I came back in, really, in all practical ways, the business was better off than when I left. It needed some time to settle in and rest. And sometimes, you know, a decade of creative energy aimed at a team can. Can be harmful to progress.

Right?

Yeah. What a great. Yeah.

So those are a couple of the big lessons. You know, it. It definitely hurt us through innovation because I wasn't there innovating. But, you know, when you're innovating, someone's got to execute. And then it's easy to make stuff. It's. It's got to be marketed and followed up and supported and built on a stable infrastructure. And by then, you know, it was sort of like I was building castles and sand. There was just a lot of.

Mic damage from years of, hey, I got another idea. And no one said no to Mike because he's the boss. He's the guy writing out the checks. And suddenly when that energy wasn't there. Yeah.

Familiar with that particular problem?

Yeah, yeah, totally, totally.

Some of the most productive things I've Ever done in my life. I've taken sabbaticals four or five times, where one time I took six months and another time I took a whole year.

And every time I came back.

Way better than I was before. Let's to kind of summarize things.

Yeah. Because I want to get. Yeah, go ahead.

You kind of got it. You kind of did the hard way, in a sense, that you created a genuine up against the wall.

Near death thing. And then Ed Steinbrecher, the guy that I had met at that party, he had had a near death experience a year before. And so to find out your top five life goals. The way I did it. Don't do it the way Mike did it. Do it the way I did. Do a guided visualization. Okay. Imagine yourself at the end of your life looking back over a successful life and ask yourself, what are the top five things I accomplished or experienced that made me say my life was a complete success? I do it every year to kind of revisit that space again to see if I've changed or tweaked any of my goals? A few of my goals I've completed in the sense that I've been in a great marriage for 40 some years. So I accomplished my main goal. But a couple of my goals are also things that. That are not things I'll ever finish. You know, I hope to be doing them. Like my. My fourth goal for my life was to learn as much as I could about metaphysics, spirit gods, whatever you want to call it. That whole section of life that's in the. In the mystery of things. And that's not something that I'm ever going to say. Well, by golly, I figured that one out, Mike, all through there. You know, I hope I'm going to be. I probably will be opening up to more lessons of that as I pass out of this life. My fifth goal, which actually kind of surprised me, but what came out of my mouth was I want to really learn to savor the moments of my life, to really be here. I had just had a negative experience taking my daughter out for.

Halloween where she was going around in her costume to different people and I was with her. But I realized when I got back, I was never really there. I was writing an article in my mind or planning my class for the next day or, you know, and that really kind of hit a sorrow place in me because I realized I was never going to again have that particular couple of hours with my daughter. But that's the kind of thing that is increasingly important to me to really be here for the moments of my life. And so.

Yeah, hope everybody gets their big five goals completed or in action.

I like that. So if so if you are going to give someone.

The step by step, the bottom line is ask yourself, you know, imagine you're on your deathbed, how old are you? Share three to five things that made it a success. And is there a reason for the five? Is that just arbitrary or have you found that that represents completion or completedness? Is there, what's the mindset behind that?

Well, that's a great question. And let me dig deep into my PhD Stanford background and tell you of a famous experiment. Basically, I'll boil it down. Human beings have Easy time remembering 3, 5 and 7.

There was a great article called the Magic Number 5 Plus or Minus. Anyway, if you want to get something in people's minds, ask them for the three or the five or the seven. Seven's a lot to think of. Three is too few, in my view. I go for five, you know, because everybody ought to be able to, when they wake up in the morning, know the big things they're engaged in that day. And the more you get engaged with them, the happier your life is. And so I, I'm pretty much engaged with all the things I most love to do all day long, every day. And it makes for a really sweet life.

Makes a ton of sense. Well, I'm going to, I'm going to run this little experiment on Zach. And today this is going to be, I have a dinner party with a couple of really good friends. And this is going to be the talk of the night. And I'm going to incorporate this as one of my.

Rituals in dinner party conversation, which I think we will.

A continuation. As I'm sitting here, I have an idea for another episode based on great.

Expansive dinner conversations.

So let's, let's, let's contemplate that. We can brainstorm that offline. So is there anything else that you want to throw out before we wrap this episode up?

Well, interestingly enough, I just remembered where I first told that story.

Before I wrote the book and everything. And that's why I wrote the book. Many years ago, I happened to be seated at a big dinner thing next to Neale Donald Walsh, the Conversations with God, author. And gosh, this must have been 20 years ago, but way back. And.

So he and I both don't like small talk either. I mean, you could actually sit next to Neil Walsh for four hours without saying a word and it wouldn't bother him a bit. You know.

So.

He and I kind of bonded over that also. And I said, well, tell me some story about your life that you wouldn't be here without. And so he told me. Great. Neil's full of stories because, among other things, I think he's on his eighth or ninth wife. He's got a good background, he's got seven or eight kids, so he's got a lot of stuff he can dip into, plus his metaphysical connections to God. But anyway, he told me some hilarious stories. And then I told him this story of meeting the guy in the library and this whole incident about the five Goals and everything. And Neil, listen to this. He's a great listener. And at the end of it, he said. He kind of almost grabbed me by the arms. Have you written that down? And I said, no, I never thought of writing that. But as soon as I got home, I wrote the book in about a month after the conversation, and so. And sent it to Neil. So, yeah, that started in a moment of that kind of intense conversation about dinner parties. And I've had some amazing people I've sat next to at dinner parties, so that would make a great conversation sometimes.

I love that. I love that. Well, once again, this is.

What one of my big takeaways from this episode has been.

Is probably the best thing you can ever do is ask questions that you genuinely don't know the answer to.

That's what I call a wonder question. Those are so powerful.

Oh, God, yeah. That is great.

Yeah. A wonder question is a question you really want to know and don't know, and it puts you in this exquisite kind of creative tension that good stuff comes out of. Albert Einstein in his notebooks, talks about a question in physics that he wondered about daily for 27 years.

Before he kind of got the beam of what it was. Also, I got it at our dinner party. When we do our dinner party episode, be sure to remind me. I got at a party one time, I was seated between Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock, Leonard Naboy and.

William Shatner.

But it was very meaningful experience. And what was extremely funny about it is I. I had never at the time and still haven't ever seen an episode of Star Trek.

You're kidding me. Oh, man. Really? You're kidding me. Holy crap.

Yeah, I just don't like science fiction.

My wife loves it and she took me to see Dune a while back, and after about two hours of these incredible interstellar explosions and giant worms and things like that, I said, I'm going to meet you out in the car. I'm going to go out and meditate for a while, you know, so anyway, it's just not my thing. I love a good thriller. I love a good mystery story.

You know what I just rewatched the other day was Presumed Innocent. Have you ever seen that? Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. That's a great mind boggling.

I.

Good. Anyway, we digress. Let's close shop for the day.

Okay. Well, this has been fantastic as usual. Really appreciate this. And here's my ask for our viewers and listeners, which is if you know someone who could benefit from knowing coming up with their top five life goals and doing it completely on purpose, think of one or two or maybe even three people that you can text them this episode from your podcatcher app right now and see if this creates a fascinating conversation for the next time you are with them. How about you, Gay? What would you have for a big ask?

That would be a great thing to. I would love to have people internalize that question as kind of a guidepost for their life to be able to always ask it, am I creating the life that I'll look back on in 50 years and say this was a big success? And if you're not, get busy doing it.

Yeah. Very good. All right, well, we'll wrap this one up. As usual, it's another, I think a super fun episode of the Big Leap. My name is Mike Koenigs. I'm here with my good friend Gay Hendricks and can't wait to see you in the next episode very, very soon. Bye.

Bye. Bye.