How To Resonate With And Attract The Clients You Want | Capability Amplifier

Welcome to another episode of Capability Amplifier. My name is Mike Koenigs. I'm here today with my good friend Mr. Dan Sullivan from Strategic Coach. And today we're going to be talking about something brand new that we both been noodling for quite a while. That is for sure going to increase your capabilities and help you get a lot more out of life and your business too. So. Hi, Dan, how are you?

Great, Mike. And you're always transforming into the next level. If I'm away from you for three months, there's a new mic.

Thank you for that. That is a great gift. And I'll tell you, there are some brand new things I can't wait to share with you because over the past five months I have been doing what I consider my best professional work and developed 15 really powerful tools and strategies that when they're implemented, what I've been doing is I've got this new living laboratory of some high value clients that I've been working with who came to me and said, I want to reinvent my business, I want to reinvent my life and do something that's fully integrated. And I thought maybe today we can talk about one of these processes and how our audience can use them.

I'd love to. Mike, right off the bat, the word tool, because you and I think of tools as ways of thinking about things. Explain how you distinguish a tool from a method or a technique.

Okay, that's really good. Thank you. So to me, a tool is going to be very flexible and produce different results for different people. If you give someone a toolbox, you could build a house, you could build a shed, you could build some toys, you could build a kitchen or furniture where a process or a system will be a more defined, specific result. What's interesting. So thank you for that. I never even thought of thinking through the lens like you just did. And it just opened up like I experienced a fireworks explosion actually. So, holy cow. You always do this for me. I'll say one thing is I always feel a lot smarter when I'm around you. But here's what popped into my head as you asked. That is, in this group of people I've been working with, two of them are in the artificial intelligence world. One of them is very involved in the Abundance360 and is currently working on creating business models to solve the 12 global human challenges. I can't remember whether the GCHS or something like that. And then I've got a lot of people in the functional medical world. I work with a lot of doctors and people in the financial services industry. And until you just brought up that one distinction, this one tool I'm thinking about, in particular about sharing today, has been successfully used by all of them, every single one. Even though their businesses are very, very different and unique, the results are all the same, which is it's a new way of thinking about how you manifest what you really, really want and how you want to feel. Instead of approaching business through the lens of I have to create an offer and sell something or pitch something in order to get what I want and to give them what they want. So it's a backwards approach to feeling fully satisfied and very fulfilled inside your business and on a soulful level, too.

Well, the thing that comes across to me is something that I really feel powerfully about. Just a reference. You said, when you're with me, you get smarter. But actually, what happens when we get together? Smarter things happen.

Another great distinction.

And we both get to experience it. We both get to experience it. You know, and I think we. What you're talking about is this is the new kind of relationship that you have in the marketplace with these individuals, that when you get together with them, they feel smarter, but in fact, smarter things are happening. You know, a smarter experience is actually happening that both of you sense simultaneously. If I can just ask you a question about manifest. So instead of talking about a product or a service in the marketplace, are you talking about a future experience? You're going to identify the experience right at the beginning, and then you're going to expand the experience. Is that kind of what you're talking about?

Well, it's actually a little more raw than that. Dang it. You're just like, I'm already breaking the tool here and it's all going to work out. But I'm more excited now to talk about this than I was five seconds ago because of that question. So it's a manifestation accelerator. Think of it like a manifestation machine. And the origin point that I started with let me create a scenario. It's easier to answer your question with an example. So I'm going to call this person, Felicia. She's a client. She worked for Deloitte Consulting for 10 years. And one of the reasons she left is she realized that in order to become partner, she'd have to give up a part of her life that she didn't want to give up. And she had reached a point where the constraints of operating within that business no longer served her. She felt what I call soul dissonance. And that's when you wake up and it's like laying on a table saw and it's like, I have to get the F out of here, all costs, even though I don't know if everything's going to be okay. Right? And that's what all of us as entrepreneurs at some point, and we've all met them before, you know, the entrepreneurs who've had the courage to reinvent themselves versus the one who stays stuck and operate inside their little line item world. In her particular case, she'd done some remarkable things, worked in Afghanistan, rebuilding over there, doing some women's activities. And part of the challenge in the world of management consulting is if you want to close big deals, you got to spend some time on the golf course. And that's a frustration for a lot of women, as you can imagine, right? So you got to play the man's game. So what wound up happening is I met her through a friend who said, this woman is brilliant. She wants to reinvent. Not sure where to go. I think you can help her. And I'm like, hell yeah. So I talked to her and in 20 minutes she's like, hell yeah, I'm in. And this is a big commitment for her financially, etc. Etc. And so we finally sat down, we did a one day together, and I began by asking her this simple question, which is what feelings or emotions are most valuable to you? What do you want to feel more than anything in your life and your business? And her response was calm and confident. I'm like, okay, great. And I know you talk about confidence all the time, Dan. And then I asked her another question, which is when you think about your platform, in other words, what you wish to create, that represents you and by definition a platform, or your books, your speaking, your podcasts, your business, your products, who knows you, the size of your audience is all of that combined. It's what your value perception is in the marketplace. So she filled out this form and I'm going to just kind of break this down from a parts point of view. The first question is what feelings or emotions you want to have most often the next question is about the platform and who do you want to work with. Okay. And really what this is a values exercise. So I'm going to read some of these to you so you can hear how she wrote. So she said, I'd love to work with companies that are progressive at getting the brightest folks in the door, growing great leaders and keeping an engaged, empowered workforce. Very values driven. Okay, next, I'd love to work with women who believe in the Mission partners and collaborators where we're bringing the best ideas to the table on how to change the conversation. And the third, I'd love to influence younger women, show them a path to success that has been paved by those of us who've been there already. The second to last is I'd love to be seen as a game changer in the space. Last one is that I'd love to do all this and not be on the golf course to influence decision makers. So they're pretty simple. And I also asked her another question. Who are the top people you admire or model in your life and business and why? And her response was growing up. It was Wonder Woman. Funny, I know, but I don't remember a strong sense of women role models back then. And then the next one was my mom, what she's gone through. And then the drive she instilled in me. She taught me not to settle, to not take no for an answer, to see the world, to dream big, to do whatever it is I wanted to do, but do it with all my might. So it really is a declaration of her values.

If I can say something. It seems to me since the last time we've talked that you've gone from being a seller of a lot of things to a buyer of something. And what I mean by this is who does the person? You have this particular woman, you know, and you've just described where she was and where she's now going. But what are you looking for that it's interesting to you, Mike, because you've told me now you have more than a dozen of these relationships. Is there anything common that just has to be there before you're even interested?

Well, I can't remember if I mentioned this. So my rule of engagement is I say, first of all, I need to love you, I need to love your business, or know that I can fall in love with it and know that it's going to impact the greater good. And again, this is going to sound like woo woo Southern California stuff, but after all, I'm sitting here on the Pacific Ocean in San Diego is the woo woo side is it's just got to be energetically peer balanced and resonant. And I think we all feel that. So living a business life of no compromise means you've got to feel like you're resonant with someone. And you know right away if there's dissonance there. And you know, one of the other conversations I want to have with you is this notion of something I've been calling spell casting. We all cast spells with words, and we spell words. Spelling is casting spells. Every word we use has so many different meanings in our minds. So I think what I look for, the final answer to the question is I want to find a story about that person that I know can be amplified and so compelling that it creates more resonance. Because as we evolve from human doings into human beings, you get paid for doing, then you get paid for knowing. And then I think your truest state is being paid for being. People will pay you anything to just be around and with you.

Yeah.

Just before I got on with you today, I was talking to Bo Eason, who I truly consider one of, if not the greatest speaker I've ever met. I love his evolution. I love his soul. I love everything about him. And the conversation I had with him is Bo Eason. You deserve a million dollars for just being Bo Eason. And I guarantee you there's someone out there who will pay you that. And for you to be selling $2,000 information products is a disservice to who you are, and it's a service to people. But I see a much bigger, brighter vision of you than you may see of yourself. And he was like, thank you for that. It was a gift. I know I over answered the question, but that's really what I look for.

Well, I have another question before we go on to the second. The mirroring part of the tool that you're talking about. And that is if how you're operating right now, Mike, is a convergence of a whole number of things that you've tested and done. Trial and error in the background, which do you notice of your past experiences. Both, you know, disappointments, failures, but also testing things out are coming most into play right now. If you had to pick three or four things that just put you in a uniquely good situation. Now to really amplify someone else, what would you say is the skill set that you're most bringing to the engagement that you're talking about?

Dang it. You are so good, man. Here's what I've learned after. So the word. I don't know who originally came up with this. They call it turning your life into a living laboratory, which without these great souls to work with, I wouldn't have been inspired enough to create these tools or these exercises. But what I've learned is I gather a whole bunch of information about who they are, really using your nomenclature, their unique abilities, their past, and I can articulate a story and a vision in a really short period of time that they're able to immediately go out and mirror and ask for whatever they're capable of receiving. That's a very complicated sentence I just said. But what limits our ability to receive is a perception of our own self worth everywhere we go. And by changing an internal narrative that is echoed in union with an external perception of who you are, when those are married, your self worth and your perceived value can go from being a $250 an hour person to a $25,000 person. And as I was telling you before I began here, I'm earning $50,000 a day. Now, my dad never made that his entire life. So giving someone a tool, which is really a series of words and sentences that they can articulate someone's perception of who you are can change in a day, in an hour even. And I've seen it happen over and over again. And that has probably been the most profound of my lessons and learnings throughout my life. And also, why did it take until I'm 52 years old to figure this thing out?

One of the things, the reason I'm asking the question, and you mentioned Bo Eason, it seems to me, and I got another podcast series that's called the American the eight mindsets that you need to be a happy American.

And it's with a partner. So I have a guy who runs a packaged goods advertising agency in Detroit. And one of the things that strikes me, because you've always talked about this, ever since I first met you, Mike, you've always talked about the power of stories. And we forget that before the means that we had to write at a distance and communicate at a distance. And then Gutenberg and now the digital age, the transmission of all human values was through stories. People just told stories. I mean, the Bible is just people telling stories that have lasting value. And you can communicate across distance with these stories. You can communicate across differences with these stories. You can communicate across generations with this. And it seems to me, you know, if I can interpret it, your particular description of this one relationship and engagement, that if she belonged to a large organization like Deloitte, she was part of someone else's story. And she wasn't the story. She was part of the story. She was an actor in the story. And it seems to me that what's possible today is for people to have specific stories, not part of a general narrative. And my sense is there's a lot of breakout on this. And of course, Bo Eason is a great teacher of this. And, you know, his own story, how he started off as a football player and went to Broadway and then got a coach and he put on his one man show and everything like that. But it really strikes me that we're all in the entrepreneurial world. Why we are entrepreneurs is that we have confidence in a personal story, that most people need to be part of somebody else's story. And she's breaking out. So you're breaking out from the general story, the general narrative, and going to the specific narrative. And so few people are capable of this and have confidence to actually do this. And while you need a coach, my feeling is that you're the coach. For people to break out into their specific narrative, I would say your skill set and being a great marketer, a great packager over the years are all coming to fruition right now in this one kind of coaching for very unique people who have to prove to you that they've got enough passion for this that they'll stay the whole course again.

You just delivered a ton of value. What popped up are two words that I've learned from my own coaches that do a lot of work with me energetically and hold me to a high standard. It's prizing and pedestal, meaning inside a professional organization. Let's say you are just a cell inside an organ lacking either the courage and confidence or the skills and resources to tell your own story in a way that is perceived to have value. Value enough that you can break out and again, be paid for who you are, not what you do or what you know. Like anything in life, it's simply a matter of being able to see distinctions, right? Being able to break things down into little components and analyze it. And at some point, if you look too close, I call it ant collecting. Okay? So I've had people work for me who cannot see the forest from the trees. And all of their labor is focused on low value things. And they're completely obsessed with, in a way of sorting the ants, okay? Instead of realizing that if they just funnel the ant movement towards whatever the action is, it's sort of they don't have to work. Their value is in seeing the distinction. That's the difference between a low value laborer or a worker and someone who again, sees the power that a word, you know, if I rattle off one of them right now, this may date this, but hashtag metoo. For example, there's a history lesson there. There's thousands of years. There's perception. It's politically loaded. There are feelings associated with one freaking word, right? When you study etymology and the layers and levels of a meme again, it doesn't matter. If you're an entrepreneur, you're a corporation. You know, I can do the exact same thing for a consumer packaged goods company. And a word from one of my clients is medical food. What that represents is food that's made to be medicine. It will be dispensed and that's a multi trillion dollar industry. It could be a quadrillion dollar value industry in the not so distant future.

Yeah, you heal yourself and rejuvenate yourself by eating.

Yeah, that's a big idea. It's a massive word. Okay.

Yeah.

And that's really what, you know, you go, if you're in Silicon Valley, the distinction between raising $10 million and $100 million is a well crafted, spell casted story.

Yeah, well, I was reading a little history because Jack Ma has retired for one reason or another. I'm not quite sure of the circumstances from Alibaba, but his IPO, they raised $233 billion in 24 hours. You know, wonderful history, just total failure. I mean, the guy, you know, was a reject. He was a disappointment in everything else. And he just got this idea that maybe a billion Chinese people would like to buy what they want to buy online. But he had to go through an enormous amount of self refining to get to the point where he could actually make match up with the technology that could actually do this. I think Jeff Bezos is really, you know, an amazing genius. But you know, the guy raised 233 billion in one 24 hour. I mean, billion, billion's a lot of money, you know, I mean, it's a lot of money. It's a big thing. But his story is very compelling and I gotta believe that his story brought him to that capability. We're talking about amplifying capability here. It's possible in the world today because of the technology that we now have and this point in history where individuals can now amplify exponentially. And you know that, I mean from your own projects and your processes over the last 25, 30 years, you know what this can do. Talk about the mirroring. I'm really interested in the mirroring second part that you were talking about.

Sure. So again, we start with the emotions, the feelings, then we go to the values, and then I call it the Declaration. This is the mirroring. So if you remember before I started this out and it's all about you, the first segment. So I'd love to work with companies that are progressive at getting the brightest folks in the door, growing great leaders and keeping an engaged Empowered workforce. So each one of those then becomes a reflective declaration, which means if you own or run a company that is progressive and wants to attract the brightest folks to work for you, grow great leaders and keep an engaged, empowered workforce. The next one is you are an executive woman who believes in a mission to bring the best ideas to the table and how to change the conversation. So all I do is change it from me to you. Now, the reason why this is so freaking important is I've never met a company that was. Well, very few are truly great at identifying their perfect client, their perfect audience, and speaking to them in such a way that they raise their hand and go, oh my God, you are the answer I've been looking for. I will pay you whatever you ask for, because I want to feel that way. So because we're constructing this from a perspective, emotion to values, to then a reflection, your messaging, what you are effectively doing is attracting your highest idealized version of yourself, which historically, this is. The funny thing, my wife used to work for Deepak Chopra and he often said to her, we all write the book we need to read. And I'd go so far as to say we all create the product we need for ourselves. And until we've mastered our own egos and we are truly selfless civic servants who are here in a boundaryless plane to deliver, we're constrained by our ego and our attachments, Right? So what this does is it creates a natural evolution. And again, this works for any kind of a product, consumer packaged goods, even though I'm starting from the founder's perspective. So ultimately, what we do is. I'll read the last one, which is. And if you'd love to do all of this and not be on the golf course to influence decision makers based on high quality, value driven relationships of partnership and collaboration. And then finally, who is this for? It's for you, if this message resonates. To not settle, to not take no for an answer, to see the world, to dream big, to do whatever it is that you want to do, but do it with all your might. I took her idealized perception of her mother and her values and inserted in here. And here's what happened, okay? From that, we turned it into an offer. So all we did is took line item by line item, each one of those things and created modules or exercises that deliver on that promise of the value of the feeling. So here's what happened. The next day after we did this exercise, which only took like an hour, she just spoke to someone that she had been planning to speak to. And she was basically going to present something where she's going to work for a X number of hours and get paid by the hour. Because that was the filter. It was like, I say, this is the maximum box you're able to receive something in. Okay, we all have the little box. And it's like, yeah, but I'm not worth that much. What I do isn't worth that much. And I said, screw that. How about talk to this person about how they want to feel? By the end of the conversation, it was a $25,000 conversation that the delivery may have been 10 or 20 hours. And there was no question or conversation about, how much do you charge per hour to do X and give me Y. It was, that is how I want to feel, and I want to be part of that. She sold a feeling and an emotion, but it was constructed in a way that was congruent and resonant throughout. It actually was an idealized version of her own highest perception of herself. And that's a lot of wacky words, but without exception, I've done this for doctors. I've done it for a guy in the AI world, and he's now delivering feelings, not deliverables. And his perceived value by investors has grown exponentially. So that's effectively what the construction kit and the tool looks like.

Well, I think it's terrific. I mean, I've been in coaching for 45 years. In my conversation with Peter Diamandis, I said, you know, I'm aware of two exponentials in the world right now that are not connected to each other. One is technology, and the other one is human teamwork. And everybody talks about technology because it's got certain metrics where it can be measured. But human teamwork, for the most part, doesn't have visible metrics, but it's far more exponential. As a matter of fact, exponential technology has only been created because of exponential teamwork, you know, going back 40, 50 years in the microchip world. And I said, but it seems to me that a third dimension is emerging in the 21st century. And see what you think about this, Mike. I said, if I take humanity in the 21st century and compare it to humanity in the 20th century, that what we have now is we have exponential technology, and we have exponential teamwork. And the crucial intermediary between that is coaching. And I think coaching is as important to the 21st century as management was to the 20th century. And I said, peter, when you're at your best, where you're bringing five experts on stage who are talking about longevity and life extension. And they talk. And you're sitting there and you're interpreting how to think about this for the audience. You're at your best. I think you are at your best when you're being a coach to the audience, saying, I'm going to bring the very most forward thinkers in the world on this subject, and we're going to see how we can think about it based on what they're doing out in the world. And it seems to me that you've hit the gold, you know, with a coaching model here. I mean, you know, it's like, I grew up Catholic. I know when I see a religion. I've been a coach for 45 years, and I know coaching when I see it. And it's not about product anymore. You've been able now to detach yourself from product. It's an experience, and it's your experience that's allowing them to actually get in touch with their experience so that they can then take their experience and have other people get in touch with this experience. So it seems to me that you're doing something magical here.

It's fascinating. So I'm going to reflect back some words to you. Again, it's magical because it's manifestation. And again, just by crafting words, you can implant visions in people where they feel like they're participating. They can experience the feelings ahead of time that they truly desire and feel like they're part of something greater than themselves, which in itself is a spiritual experience, right?

Yeah, it is.

It is divine in nature, which, again, are such beautiful words. So I'm going to tap into something you just said here that I agree with completely, and then I'm going to amplify the words, okay?