Todd Isberner’s Cornerstone System Helps you Build a Blueprint for Success

Am I enough? Do I have what it takes? How do you instill and multiply confidence and trustworthiness in all areas of your life as a man? And how many times have you reinvented yourself over the course of your life and your career? Could it be your marriages, your jobs, maybe the businesses you've started and sold well? The University of Warwick studied 1.3 million adults in 51 countries and found a measurable decline in happiness at age 40. Pew Research found that midlife divorce rates in the United States have doubled since the 1990s. No wonder it's been called the dark night of the soul. It's when you reach a wall in your career and your business, your marriage, your life, your relationship with your children, your and even your body starts to change. Our next guest guides men who are looking for a practical blueprint on how to master four foundational cornerstones of life, faith, family, fitness, and finances so they can build a purposeful and satisfying life. Todd Isburner has been there and done that. He's the bestselling author of what Every Man Needs to Know. He's a winner of the Christian Music Broadcasters Industry Achievement Award and and has raised almost $2 billion for organizations like K Love Radio Network, Compassion International, Salvation Army, Reach Beyond Global Media and radio networks in England, Australia, and New Zealand. And today, he's going to share his cornerstone system that will help you build a blueprint to succeed. So, Todd, it's nice for you to be here today, sir.

Mike, thank you for having me. I've really looked forward to this, especially as I've gotten to know you a little bit. And in the intro there where you're talking about dark night of the Soul, we've shared some stories, and I know what you've been through, and it's just always so encouraging to see a man who's willing to put his head down and get through it to the other side.

Well, thanks. And I gotta tell you, it's been great getting to know you and your wife Wendy, and just see what you've done because you've accomplished a lot. You built and sold business. You're set, really. You don't have to work anymore. And you're in this place where you're giving back and making a huge difference, and you've built the system that consistently produces repeatable results. And let's begin. I'd like to know from your perspective, what are the biggest things that you see men struggle with.

Yeah. Honestly, I think you can boil it all down to there is an identity crisis among Men. And you, you listed some stats that are very sad. It really is. And I think what's happening with men is we're getting more confused with who we're supposed to be, what our role is, what's our purpose. Am I enough? Do I have what it takes? The certainty and then clarity of how a man is wired seems to be dissipating. And some of it is just the culture around us is trying to shape us into a man that they want us to be. And I want to stand up somewhat defiantly and say, no, you reclaim who you are wired to be. You function in all the fullness of your madness. And that is the road to not just happiness and success in life, but the road to true contribution to the betterment of others. And, I mean, I just love working with men who see that and want that. And I think about this story, and maybe you're familiar with it might sound a little bit corny, but there was a chicken farmer who was raising an eagle by accident, right? Because the eagle fell out of its nest. It landed in the chicken coop and the barnyard. And all this little eagle knew how to do was to scratch and to peck and to try to cluck like a chicken. Until a naturalist came along one day and said to the farmer, that's an eagle. That's not supposed to be in the chicken. I know. What am I going to do? So the naturalist takes the chicken up on the top of the barn, puts it out on his arm, and expects the chicken to fly. But he saw. You mean the eagle. Sorry, the eagle. So he looks at the. See, I'm all confused about being a chicken or eagle. So that. So the eagle drops back down among the chickens because that's where he was comfortable. That's his place of familiarity. So the naturalist took the eagle to.

The top of a mountain, put his.

Arm out, put the eagle on his arm. The eagle slowly began to spread these massive wings, and before you knew it, he took off and he started to soar, soar above everything. That little chicken barnyard was way down below. And, man, I'm serious. I'm getting goosebumps as I tell this story, and here's why. There are way too many men who are designed to be eagles. And you're scratching around and pecking like a chicken. And I've developed a system where I think I can help us identify where we are and where we need to be. And my mission is just simply, I want to help you rediscover who you are as a man, what your role is how to be successful and fulfilled and convince you you actually do have what it takes and you are more than enough. But you might need a little help to get that figured out. And that's why I've developed this system.

It's impressive. And again, the more I get to know you, you've got an amazing marriage, you've done the work, you've made money, you've reached a point in time in your career. And one thing that I'm gonna. Besides all of your professional successes, you're also way, way younger than your age. So I'm gonna show a before and after picture just so people can see the mastery you have. Not over your mind, but your body as well. I want you to tell everyone how old are you? Just to get this rolling before we get into your background and why people should listen to you.

All right, which photo do you want? How old I was? Because the one where I looked like a real weirdo, the only thing I'm missing on that is a mullet. I'm 46 at that. I think I look pretty good at 46, except I had some transformation to go through. So I'm seven decades now, which would make me 70. I just turned 70 a little bit ago.

And I'm very hormone free, by the way.

Yeah, I don't take anything. Just, just, just work out, stay healthy, have a good mindset. You know, if you're good on the inside, too, it'll reflect on the outside, but you do have to work a little bit on the outside.

Yeah, well, we'll get into that when we talk about the fitness side of things. But let's just talk briefly about why you. Why should people trust you and look at you as a leader? And why would they want to learn the system and go through a transformation with you?

Yeah, well, this didn't just happen overnight where I learned some of these important things in terms of your faith, your family, your fitness, and your finances. I like you had to spend a good deal of time in the school of hard knocks. And I grew up in a. In a little town in Minnesota, New Ulm, Minnesota. Good old German town, just 30 minutes.

Away from where I grew up with all the weird things.

We were just about neighbors and little. Course Little Eagle Lake. That little town is like a suburb to big New Ulm. Right. But we, we had a wonderful upbringing. My. I had siblings, a great mom and a dad. I grew up in the Catholic church, and I really felt called to be a priest at a young age. I thought, yeah, I want to Stay close to God. And so I literally thought I was going to end up in the priesthood until I got into the ninth grade about midway through. Actually, towards the end of the ninth grade, Mike, the furthest thing from my mind was becoming a priest. I discovered girls and parties and athletics and manic. I took a left turn in my life and I went down a Road for 10 years of just rebellion and stupid living with bad choices that really caused some tremendous consequences. You, including getting married at a young age, being a lousy husband, not putting her first, and then ended up losing her to another man. And it completely, totally devastated me. I literally felt like my face was in the dirt and it needed to be there because that's the only way I could look up. When I did look up, I started to call out to God. And through a series of circumstances I won't get into, I had literally a spiritual conversion where the gospel of Jesus Christ was explained to me that God made me, he loves me, he'll forgive me, he's got a place for me, so let's get it going. And man, I. That was a. That was a big pivot point in my life. And from that point on, things began to change on the inside. I still had a lot of stuff on the outside that needed fixing, but I began to change on the inside. And make a long story short, I was a single dad raising co. Raising two young daughters. I went to seminary, not Catholic seminary. I started a business, and I decided that I was going to help others. And this business literally turned out to help organizations that needed funding. And we became sort of experts in the nonprofit world. And after 42 years of doing that in a very fulfilling manner, I decided I really need to move on. I sold the business and I developed this cornerstone system. So I've always been mentoring men, but I want to give all of myself and all of my time now to that. So I've developed that system. And I'm loving working with men, watching them fulfill their potential.

That's great. And as I learned about you, for one thing, and I mentioned this at the beginning, you've raised over $2 billion and you've been coaching men. But the other thing that working around successful people gives you is you watch people go through their cycles, they go through their midlife crisis, and for so many men, I went through this too. You have it all. You got money and your marriage starts falling apart or something flips inside of you and you question everything. Your body behaves differently. And again, you've overcome this. And one of the things that we're going to give everyone, besides giving away a copy of your book, is interview with you and your wife Wendy, who's also a coach. So you've surrounded and created this environment and ecosystem for yourself that extends out to the people you work with. But I really want to talk a little bit more about your systems. So you have the cornerstone system, and it all starts with, I call it the four Fs. That's what showed up. So why don't you talk a little bit about what you believe men need to know about family and relationships?

Yeah, honestly, I think that's a good starting point. Because the truth is, every man is a son. You had a dad, you had a mom. Might not have been the ideal family that you grew up in, might not have been the Beaver Cleaver scenario, but nevertheless, you are a man who is a son. Many of you who are listening and watching, you're also husbands or former husbands or a husband to be. Many of you are dads. And family needs to be that safe place where you are rewarded with feelings of love and respect and security and leadership. But so many men are not experiencing that. Family has created chaos, dysfunction, stress, pain, indecisiveness. Like you mentioned, guys go through a midlife crisis, get all messed up in their head, and off they go. And, you know, I think about a friend of mine who I've worked with for a while, and he had a great marriage when he started out, but he violated a major principle in that marriage. Raising the boys, invested in his career. But he always put himself just enough ahead of his wife so that she never felt that treasured or that cherished. The result was she found another man and it completely smashed him to bits. It wrecked him. But it was also an opportunity now to rebuild and put things back together. And Mike, I got to tell you today, because they spent time rebuilding and because he understood what she needed before his own needs, they have a phenomenal marriage, an exemplary marriage and family, because he was willing to put in the work and willing to understand what it takes to make a wife happy. You know, in my. In my. Let's call it the family portion of the toolbox of my system, my four cornerstone system. There's a section in there where there's something very simple. I just want to share it quickly because if you're struggling right now, like, how do I get my wife to ever really love and respect me? This is going to sound so stupid simple, you're going to write me off on this. But I promise, if you do it. It's going to work. It's called the no resistance button. You have any idea what I'm talking about?

I do. It took me a long time to learn that lesson. And I had a starter marriage, too. Lost it, because at the time, a business. And I made all the same mistakes, and I just about lost the one I'm in, which is 20 years now, for the same reason. So go ahead, reveal it.

Yeah. The no resistance button is real simple, guys. She is always right, period. All right. You're going to have to swallow your pride. Even when you are right and you know you're right, you're going to let her be right. You're going to show her respect, that her opinion is valued. You're going to stop controlling her, and I promise you it won't take long. And you're going to have unbelievable freedom in your relationship. Her respect level is going to go through the roof because you're legitimately saying, sweetheart, you're before me. Before you know it, she's going to be saying, I don't know, honey. In this decision we're going to make, what do you think you're going to find out? That the two of you are going to start to be in more harmony. But hit that button.

Yep. And the other thing is the. The bedroom gets to be a much more spectacular, shiny place also. That's one of the nice byproducts.

Best expression of intimacy inside that bedroom. And I don't mean just sex. I'm talking about connection that goes soul deep.

Right on. No, it's a big transformation. So that's family. Let's move on to finances. What does every man need to know about finances?

Well, it's real simple. You have a relationship in your family. You also have a relationship with money. But a lot of you don't think about that, right? I have a relationship with money. What do you mean? Well, just think about it. Money really defines who you are. And I like what Jesus said. He said, your life is not measured by how much you own. So in other words, your financial statement is not proof of your value. It doesn't prove your true success in life unless that's the meaning you give it. I think about that movie, Jerry Maguire. There's a great scene in there where Tom Cruise is having to shout into the phone what Cuba Gooding Jr. Needed to hear. He wanted more money because for him as an athlete, he believed the more money he was given, the more value he would have. And that meant success for him. So he made Tom Cruise shout In that phone. Show me the money. Because that's where his value was. All right, so a lot of guys, honestly, in the back of their heads, they got that little echo going on. Yes, I'll show you the money, Mike. That way you're going to believe I have value and I'm successful, and it just doesn't work that way. And it got twisted up for me as well at an early age. You're gonna. This is gonna date me, but I think you're gonna. You probably have seen this show way back when, a show called the Millionaire.

I remember it well.

You remember I said, here's a rich guy that loved just writing out checks for a million bucks and having his assistant go knocking on a door, surprising somebody with a million bucks. And it was. It was life changing for that person, good and bad. Sometimes since I watched that show growing up, I thought, yeah, I want to be able to give away millions of dollars. So I started to set my sights on becoming the Millionaire. And, you know, it was all going fine until I actually started making money and realized, wait a minute, I'm going to give this money away. I work too hard. I got to keep it. And I started to believe that money was something I needed to pursue to, you know, go after my own happiness, my own value system, and my own success. And it just didn't work out that way at all, especially when I went through a divorce. And you learn in a hurry where you stand with money. And I lost. I didn't lose all of it, but I lost a lot of it. All that I worked for 20 years to squirrel away, and you suddenly have a major mind shift. You're going to go one of two ways. Either you're going to learn a lesson, get better, or you're going to get really bitter and sour. And I chose to get better and learn the meaning of money. And before I knew it, I had a sense of freedom. I wasn't attached, I wasn't confused, controlled by. I just did my thing. Within five years, Mike, all that money was replaced and then some.

Yeah, I think that's a great lesson in resilience, which is for you to be respected by your spouse and for. To show up and be able to reinvent over and over again speaks so much about masculine energy and also lends credence to the system. And I know one of the things that you have inside your book that you're giving away, what every man needs to know is you've got systems for self evaluation. There's resources and tools in there. As well. And I don't know if there's anything you want to talk about in terms of the tools in the book that relate to the, the cornerstone system.

Well, it just, it starts again with self evaluation. So we ask some questions and you've got to answer those questions so you, you get a grip on this. You know, I think once we have that in place, we've got the right perspective, then we have the responsibility to manage it well. And I've got some management systems in here that are real basic but absolutely foolproof. Right. A lot of guys, you got a lot of money, you got no money, you win it, you lose it, whatever. A lot of it sometimes boils down to I don't understand the meaning of money and I don't know how to manage it. I want to work through that system with guys.

Good. So let's talk about what every man needs to know about fitness. We showed the before and after. I'm going to show it again right now. 46, 70 hormone free, all natural. What's every man need to know about fitness?

Yeah. Well, there are two things that will get you fit. One is you got to know what you want and you got to know why you want it. Real simple. And the side benefit of going through a fitness training program is that you suddenly realize my mind is getting tougher because I got to tell my mind what to tell my body to do. When you put your body through discomfort or pain, you're toughening up your mind. And I have found time and again for me as I've taken on different challenges throughout the years that I'm developing a stronger mind as I develop a strong body. And honestly, I don't know that I've reached my peak yet either. I just keep challenging myself. And for me, I was fortunate. When I grew up, I had a fast metabolism, was an athlete. I didn't have to worry about weight problems. When I was 34, though, a friend of mine challenged me to run a marathon. And I did a little bit of running. It wasn't a big deal, but I thought, run a marathon. Why do I want to do. That's 26 miles? What are you nuts? And I said, why do I do that? He says, well, because so and so is doing it well. So and so was like 20 years older than me, Mike. I thought, wait a minute, this guy can do it, I can do it. So I got myself a plan, a 12 week running plan, and I ran the marathon. I, I had a, I had a reason, what I wanted to do and why I want to do it. I want to beat this guy. And I got a plan and I did it. So that really kind of got me jump started. So When I was 46, my brother came to me and said, hey, how'd you like to enter a bodybuilding contest? I'm saying, really? Bodybuilding? So I did. I thought, why not take the challenge? And of course, you're familiar with this. This is the body for life.

Yeah, Phillips. I got to know him. I know the guy who designed the program.

Yeah.

That's a fact. Yeah. So again, just a wild coincidence.

It worked. It didn't win the million dollars because that was the prize. That was part of my why. Well, maybe I'll win the million bucks. But it did, again, get me on a good path of understanding the disciplines and the benefits of exercising those disciplines. So you get physical results, you get more stamina, more energy, more virility. You feel better about yourself, your self image. But again, the exercise benefit is right here between our ears, man. You cannot discount them. Value of strengthening your mind as you toughen up your body.

Good. And I know you've got a great tool inside the book as well. Again, just for everyone, just so they can get the book. You're giving away the book. You've got a bonus video. Where do they go to get a copy of that? And then we're gonna do the last F here.

Okay, so pretty simple. You just go to my website, toddisbrenner.com free. Grab a copy of that book. I have some other resources on there for you. You also take a look at the first free video that Wendy and I cut. And let's. Let's get a jump start going. Grab that book. It's an easy read. You can thumb your way through it real quickly and decide if you like it.

Right? Okay, so we've done family, we've done finance, we've done fitness. Fourth, faith. This is something that a lot of people feel nervous to have a conversation about, and it's taboo topic, but you're really willing and you're very open about having these conversations.

But.

But what does every man need to know about faith?

Well, I believe faith is the glue that holds the other things together. And I know we get a little shy and a little nervous. I'm not talking about God. The reality is there is a God and you're not him, you know, or her, whatever your, you know, view is on that. But there is a God and he is your creator and he made you because he loves you and he wanted you Here at this time and place in history. And so now it's a. It's a question of, so that's really true. And I start really believing that how do I get connected with my Creator? How do I really understand the purpose that he has for me so that I can live out the fulfillment of who he meant me to be? I don't want to just play games and have a career and make a bunch of money. I want fulfillment not just for my satisfaction, but so that as a man who can lead and provide and protect, I can also benefit others as well. So I went through that, as I shared earlier, my own personal conversion story, and it began to change everything. And the spiritual growth is a lifelong journey. It's a fun one. You've never arrived. I love the fact that there are new dimensions in your relationship of faith with God that begin to open up day by day, year by year. And you know, before you know it, you're not as squeamish about talking about such matters because you understand the value and the importance and the place it plays in your life. It's really good.

So you've got your cornerstone system. You're coaching, you're advising, you're working with men. And you've not only built a system that flat out works, it's repeatedly worked, but it's also a way for you to go narrow and deep. After you sold your business, you. You don't need to work anymore, you don't need to make money anymore, but you're giving back in a huge way. So why don't you talk a little bit about who's a right fit and how do they fit inside the ecosystem and how can they learn more about, first of all, getting the book, getting the video, and also learning more about working with you.

I think it really, it starts with the questions that you opened up with and the questions maybe you've been asking yourself as you've been hearing us talking or you've been watching us today, and that is, yeah, who really am I? How am I wired? Do I have what it takes to be the man I'm supposed to be? Am I fulfilling this purpose and role in life? Do I have what it takes? If these are the questions that you feel are starting to surface in you and you're just not satisfied and you're hungry for something more, then I would really love to be able to start a conversation with you now. I think if you just get the book, it will begin to inspire and maybe perhaps jumpstart you. But if we really want to go on this journey together, then I want you to just take a moment and head over to my website. You can hit the apply button. We'll go through a little evaluation. If we decide this could be a good fit, I promise you, you're going to get 100% and more of what you came there for. You're going to exceed your own expectations, because here's the reality. You've got more inside of you than you realize. You really, truly want to be the man that you want to be, that God wants you to be, your spouse wants you to be, and everybody around you expects you to be. And I would love to go on that journey with you.

Very nice. Very nice. So what I want to add here for you is I've gotten to know Todd, his amazing wife Wendy. And this is a guy who is exactly the same man off camera as he is on camera. He's done the work. He really has been there. He's a remarkable coach and an advisor, and if you ever get a chance to work with them, definitely take them up on that opportunity. So one more time, you can head on over to his website, which is toddisburner.com free. Get a copy of his book. You can learn more about working with him. And, Todd, I want to thank you for being here today.

Great job, man. Thank you, Mike. It was awesome. Love being with you.

All right.

The same for sure. Oh, ra.