4.10.23 - Anxiety Pt. 1

Hey everybody. Welcome to Made for Mondays. Justin here. I'm so glad you're tuned in with us as we continue the journey of knowing that we are made for Mondays. Mondays don't own us, but we own our Mondays. You know, as I was thinking through about what to talk about for the next couple of weeks, I wanted to engage in a series on anxiety. That you can be an anxious achiever. You can not let your anxiety destroy you, but see it as a superpower, if you would. So the next couple of weeks I want to engage with anxiety, take a look at anxiety, see, see what anxiety can do for us, see what anxiety can do against us and see how we can take our superpower and use it to build our lives. Because we were made for Mondays. Mondays don't own us, but we own our Mondays. I look forward to doing this journey with you. Welcome to Made for Mondays. Let's talk about anxiety.

Well, hey, Made for Mondays listeners.

Justin here.

I'm on here to give a shameless plug about. Well, my book. I wrote a book called Necessary Endings. And this book is simply a. A book detailing. It's called Some Things need to Die for your To Live. It details four different funerals that I believe you need to have to go on a journey of mental well being and mental success. I pray that you take a moment to go ahead and grab it. You can grab it on my website@jrlester.com or on Amazon. It's a book that addresses mental health, faith journeys, relationships, friendships, everything in between. Prayerfully. It'll help you be all that you need to be everything God's called you to be. So go ahead, take a copy of Necessary Endings. Some Things need to die for you to live. Available on Amazon or jrlester.com thank you.

So let me begin our conversation by stating this just outright. I have a doctorate, but I'm not a medical professional, I'm not a psychologist, I'm a pastor, I'm a man, I'm a husband, I'm a son, I'm a father, I'm a leader. I like doing the living life that I'm called to live. And one of the things in my life that has been ever evolving and everescent space is anxiety. Anxiety has been a part of my life where I suffer from a really, really serious case of social anxiety. I've dealt with a lot of transitions and a lot of those transitions come with a lot of trauma. And yet in the midst of all of that, God has allowed me to achieve a lot. And as I've seen anxiety as a weakness. I recently have been doing more work on anxiety and currently started writing my next book that is going to take some time to come out because there's a lot of healing to go in. It called I'm Ready for me Thinking Through Anxiety Fully. And so I wanted to bring you all into my thinking as I'm writing this work about anxiety and give you some language for it and prayerfully help some of you across this screen or those of you across the sound of your car or if you're working out whatever that is on anxiety. All in all, the general thing I want you to see here is you're okay. Let's do something with the power you have. You know, anxiety. So fear is a response to an external threat, whereas anxiety then is living into the uncertainties of that threat. Now I'm creating narratives. I'm beginning to think people are against me, beginning to think I'm inferior. It's where imposter syndrome comes in, where I feel like I'm an imposter. I'm not enough. Anxiety begins to tell you all these different narratives about you that frankly just are not true. Now the uncertainty and your response to uncertainty becomes anxiety. So fear or your stress is to what you see. Anxiety begins to create narratives or thought processes beyond what you actually can see. Because now you're really, really consumed and concerned about what does not exist. And that's what makes you anxious. Your mind begins to respond, your body begins to respond. That's where we talk about anxiety attacks and panic attacks. So for some of us it could be in places of grief, it could be our professional spaces, could be our religious spaces, could be our personal spaces, could be trauma responses, could be triggers. Here's what I want you to see when it comes to anxiety. I want you to see the hyper focus that you have when it comes to anxiety. That when you have an anxious response to something, you are hyper focused. It may not be real, it's to a threat. But you have thought about so many different variables, so many different narratives and so many different lanes where this can go. I like saying it like this. An anxious person sees myself so I won't use put it out there for me. When I see a threat, I see the mountain that I can climb to get over the threat. I see the valley that I can run through to get through the threat. I see where I can get around the threat. My faith says I can move the mountain out of the way. And anxiety shows me all of those. Well, then anxiety begins to tell Me that I'm not strong enough to climb the mountain. I'm not strong enough. I don't have a boat to get through the valley. I'm too stupid enough to get through the difficult places. I'm unable to get through all this anxiety begins to tell you all these different narratives, but you can or cannot do. You're hyper focused on all of those. That's where sometimes where you just kind of pull away and your mind begins to wander and anxiety becomes a response to these threats of uncertainty. Here's what I want you to do in these moments. Breathe. The first thing I want to give everyone across the screen today is breathe. Take a moment when you see or fear something where uncertainty begins to overwhelm you. I want you to. Firstly, I want you to stop. Breathe. Howard Thurman says to be so still that you watch your own life pass you by. To take a moment to breathe. Find your rhythm, find where you are, where are you, what's really going on? Then I want you to notice. I want you to breathe and I want you to notice. I want you to notice yourself and notice what's around you. I want you to notice yourself. I want you to notice what's around you. Because often the very things we perceive as threats are the ways that we'll actually find the solution. Now I know the solution creates brand new problems, but maybe in this moment when you notice you and notice those around you, anxiety won't be such a threat. When you notice what you have, you can make it through. I use the example of. I remember the moment my mother passed away last July. We were sitting in the hospice and as soon as my mother passed, she took her last breath. I literally went into full blown anxiety. I had to stay there. I felt like I had to be there for my sister. I had to be there for my aunt who was in the room and I was going into flu blown anxiety. And the moment my sister texted my wife that my mother had passed away, my wife grabbed in her car and ran because she knew Justin was not going to be okay. I noticed her, I needed her. Who are the people around you that are present with you in your worst moments of anxiety? Not just anxiety, but grief, loss, pain. Think about this professionally. Who are the co workers that you can communicate? This is when I'm irritable, this is when I'm frustrated. I need to notice you when you're noticing yourself as well. When you're noticing you, what irritates you, what makes you angry? What are the starting points that trigger anxiety? For you. You know, Paul English, who is one of the co founders of Kayak, who left out a $2 billion gifting as he left out, said that some of the best companies he ever created was because he was irritated. It was in his anxiety that some of the ways the man became a billionaire was because of his anxiety that he was able to notice himself. Notice what irritates me, what frustrates me, what gets me down, what gets me going, what gets me hyper focused and able to utilize it. I want to say this, it's not a sustainable pract, but knowing what your starting points are help you surround yourself with the right people and exit ramps so that you don't stay someplace too long. And lastly, how is this really going to turn out? Here's a question my therapist asked me years ago. She said, justin, what is the absolute worst that could happen? And I remember sitting in that therapy session and I would sit there and it was a situation I was in my former congregation and we walked through. What is the absolute worst that could occur? The absolute worst. I sat there, began to tell her where this would happen and this person will leave and this person will say this and this. And she said, so how would you handle the absolute worst? Began to realize, I can handle that. Let me ask you, what is the absolute best that can happen? Could you be okay in it? Would your pride not kill you? Would your, would your ego not get too large? What is the absolute best that could happen in this situation? Can you handle it? What's the absolute worst that could happen in a situation? You can handle it. Anxiety isn't a demon. It's your gift. When we stop demonizing uncomfortable feelings and really see what's going on with us, we realize that empathy moves you to anxiety, moves you to empathy for yourself. Anxiety desires empathy from others. First, we desire that we learn to have empathy for ourselves. You're just responding. You're really wise, you're extremely gifted. And this week, as you go into your month, as you go into your week, excuse me, I want you to lead in, lead from, and lead beyond your anxiety by breathing, noticing, checking your responses. Know this. Your anxiety is not a demon. Your anxiety is your gift. Thanks for joining me in Made for Mondays Today. I hope that something was encouraging to you today. Let's say our affirmations to all of you out there across the screen. Let's affirm who we are as we go on this journey. Would you repeat after me? Say, I am me. I can be me. No one will stop me from being me. Have an amazing day. You were made for this. You were made for Mondays. Mondays don't own you, you own your Mondays. Join us next week as we talk about from the topic and anxious achievers. It's amazing. Here, let me give you this. The reason you are an overachiever is because you excel at achieving. Let's talk about it next week. Have a great week.