Design Your Life: Manifestos & Making Dreams Reality ✍️💭

Foreign Justin.

And I'm Courtney.

And welcome to Working from home. Today is January 15th, and I'm so glad you guys are tuned in with us today. It's Martin King Day.

Yes. There's a lot of things today. It's MLK Day. Happy Founders Day to all my sororis of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated.

Yeah. You know, I struggle, you know, with MLK Day, I guess, as I. So I went to bu. You know this because you hear me say it all the time, but I went to BU and got my doctorate there. And there's an exhibit of Martin Luther King's dissertation.

Right.

And on the dissertation it talks about how he plagiarized off one of his students.

Yeah.

And I struggle with it. And then learning more about him. And I guess, like, when you talk about grief, we talk about this before, like, grieving the whole person, you know, so honoring the whole person. And I think as I began to learn more, like, I don't take away, like, the work the man did. But I think we also have to realize that, like, he had a dream and we also have a dream.

Right. And how, like, bringing humanity to the superhero in which we kind of create in big time idols. I don't think that he was matriculating through Morehouse or Boston University with the idea that one day he's gonna have a whole holiday, federal holiday, monument statues, everywhere, streets in every. In every city named after him. I don't think. And I guess that, like, reminds me too of, like, navigating through life to live in such a way where, like, am I living in a way that one day I'm making a contribution that that might happen? And I don't think he was living in that type of way. Right. I think he was doing what he had to do to survive as a human, to get through, you know, that like, even, like, I had a dream how. And he. He's. It's pretty open because the cross and the comparisons of even that dream was taken from a woman. Right. Of like, that was already said, it was already done. Right. I think the beauty of him knowing where to put things and how to use it, but without giving credit is another thing that a book that I'm reading, and we're gonna talk about that today in a little bit is kind of talking about as well. But regardless, I think we all have complicated background.

Yeah. All of us have complicated stories. And I guess that's where I don't like the the savior mentality. But not black people, but white people are putting on this, like, King, like, we gave you King Day. Be happy. We gave you Juneteenth. Be happy. And I get weird about MLK Day, where it's. It's a political thing, right?

And it's like, it's always political. But then I take. I take that and say, oh, yeah, we will be happy, and we will rest and we will relax and we will do the things that King fought for. Like, one of my big things is like, no, like, King fought for us to occupy the spaces that so many years and so many centuries in history have told us. No. Right. Like. Like going to the most exclusive places in which, like, black people are frowned upon, but you have the right to go. And that's the part. Like, that's the.

I think for me, I think I'm navigating through the complicated nature. I think, okay, I think I'm out of space now. Kill it. I think I'm navigating through the complications of a lot of black history. Right? Whether that's Thurgood Marshall, Baynard, Rustin, Martin Luther King, all those individuals and just how complicated their stories were, how complicated just blackness is. And I think King, for me, fits into that where it's. It's. It's complicated. And all of our stories are complicated.

It's complicated.

And.

But kudos to somebody, and I will say this, too, who took the steps to just do it, because there was.

Yeah.

In just the realms of hundreds of people who are silent, and even today. Right. There's so many people who are just too afraid to do anything. Right. The fact that, yeah, it may have been a completely copied speech, but he was the only one brave enough to get out there with. In front of thousands.

There were eight other speakers.

Eight other speakers, but thousands of people. To say it.

No, I get it. I give you that.

Right. Or to even help to organize a bus boycott or even to help to put him being the forefront. Right. Him being the poster for you to eviscerate him. Right.

Like, I'm not even trying to eviscerate him. I guess I just. I feel like white America, white worlds pick a black person, right? And they just kind of.

So maybe I think that's a mindset shift instead of saying, this is something that white people gave us.

I think I'm evolving. And I think because I used to love this King stuff, I used to make a big deal about it. Like, oh, Martin Luther King. Same with Thurgood Marshall and same with Colin Powell and all of that. And I guess I'm starting to realize the full nature of people, right? And so the full nature of King, the full nature of Marshall, the full nature of Colin Powell, the full nature of Colin Condoleezza Rice, nature of Barack. Like, Barack Obama was on Epstein Island. Like, we don't know what he did, but, like, the full nature of all of. I mean, no, I'm not taking that away. I think it's just the only savior I have is Jesus.

And I think that's the part that is absolute is Jesus, right?

Like, we are not either so at all.

The only thing that is absolute, absolutely perfect, absolutely great in every single way and is Jesus Christ.

That's it.

That's the only thing that we know. So for everyone, like, you know, even looking at these, like, fake superheroes, watching movies with our child about superheroes, they all have these complicated, deep, mysterious, dark paths where there's just a little bit more that we don't know about them. We're like, oh, wow, that's a lane or avenue that we can travel to see why they became this way or how their journey became to be who they want. And so although, you know, King was not a perfect leader, I thank God that we do have a perfect leader, and that's in Jesus Christ. And that when the world fails us. And so since the world is like, hey, you know what? This is the person that was brave enough, bold enough, and authoritative enough to tell the story. Let's do it. And let's honor his birthday.

So I honor the man. Don't get me wrong, I won't go, like, viral for not honoring Dr. King. I am a black preacher, so I have to. But I guess I. As I've learned more, I begin to question a lot of things. So, anyway, today we're talking about, not King, but we're talking about different books that we've read so far this year and something that stood out to us. So, Court, you can go first with yours.

Yes. So. So I know we're going to do unpaid advertisements, but I'm going to do some unpaid advertising right now. And that is the local library. I am a big fan. Me and Cam, my son, we go to the local library every week, every Tuesday and Wednesday. So huge shout out to Cam, my library buddy. But we go to the library. We get books, but it's an amazing resource. We even got a puzzle that we're going to spend time while he's off on break to do something that is non electronic and spend time together to do a puzzle and to do that. So that's my little plug. Or your local library. And for someone, he is a book connoisseur so he loves like having the book. They also have very. They have all the newest titles like they. They do, they do. You might have to wait for them, but they have. Anyway. So the books that I am reading, I'm actually reading these at the same time. I'm not done with them. But what I've read so far is so Atomic Habits by James Clear is a really good book, a really good January starting book. And it talks about really how to start little habits and just perfect them and make them better and doing small little changes, even using his life. And he has a lot of research and a lot of things in this to really help to make just tiny changes stick. So this is really good. But the book that I really. I have been really enjoying, I'm a big novel person as well. More. So we have different reading styles. This one a time. I have it. This is more your style. But I am reading Yellow Face. I've heard a lot about this in the book talk sphere. So I was like finally. I was on the reserve list for a long time in the library, but I was finally my time. So I picked up this book and I have not been able to put it down since it's such an interesting read about misappropriating culture. Who has the right to tell stories? Kind of what we're talking about. Who has the right to tell a story? And what gives a person the right to tell a story when it's not our own story? And so it's really an interesting read that we can talk about too.

Awesome.

What are you reading?

So for me, I'm trying to master two things this year. I'm trying to master design because my next step is trying to not just be in ministry, but to eventually teach. I have a Master's in Public Relations and Advertising from College of Communication at Marquette. And so I want to get back into qualitative reasoning and qualitative methods and UX user experience and UX and user research. So with that being said, I am reading through Stanford University's D School's books and they have this set of books. I love it. So this the two I have here is make possibilities Happen and you need a manifesto. Now it was interesting when I started reading youg Need a Manifesto. The book was all about like I thought manifestos, only things like suicide bombers wrote. Right. Like I thought it was just like. But really it's a statement of your values and it's a very application driven book. So I finished this One, it was great. And actually started writing my own manifesto. And it talked about like the importance of collecting other data and collect like there's an Afro futurism manifesto, right? Like what we value and things like that. So it was awesome. And then secondly, make possibilities happen and talking about like taking your ideas and transforming them into realities. Great book, well researched work and all applicable about what it means to see, to read, to do, to think and to go and finish. And so it was a great, great read. And so I'm not only trying to master design, but secondly for me personally is my prayer life. And so this book is called Talking with God. And he answers a question, I'm just going to read it directly so I don't get it wrong, but the whole premise of this book is stated upon a conversation he had with someone and one question and it was, how would you describe your best? How would you best describe prayer? And he simply said, talking with God. And so I'm trying to master prayer, my own personal prayer life and design, so I can diversify my professional future and hopefully get back into the academy. Not just theologically, like I do a lot of like ecclesiastical and theological courses. I want to teach design. And so hopefully Stanford will let me come in and teach, but if not, then Cal, Berkeley or any of these other schools, schools will let me to come in to teach design as well. So what's something you've learned in Yellow Face?

So yellow. I don't want to spoil it, but it's a, it's a really good book. At first I was like, oh no, is it for the age of community? But I think it's for all community. I love hearing this story being taught. I know we, we hear about blackface all the time. And I love it being taught, talked about from another culture, right? Of saying like, oh wow, there's other cultures that kind of deal with it. So long story short, without kind of giving too much away, but the book centers around a young woman author who pens a book, right? And she gets into, not gets into some certain situations, but she discovers some work that really isn't hers, right? But a work that she's able to use. So she takes this work that's already pre done, that hasn't been published or hasn't even been seen by anybody. And she's able to kind of put her own words, kind of mask those words, fill in the banks, put in her own work. She did a lot of work, a lot of research to make sure that things were accurate in it. So it's pretty much a combination between what this previous author wrote and what she wrote Majority. And she published the book. She got it out, publishers loved it. And she published it under her name only. Right. So not with anybody else, with her name only, and presented it as 100% her work, like most books are. And she herself, it was a story about Chinese migrant workers in World War II. And she's white, right? And she uses the name. Her last. She uses her middle name, which is Song, and that can commonly be confused with an Asian name or anything like that. So people think that she's trying to pass as being Asian, trying to get out there. But then she's like, no, I'm white. No, I'm white. No, I'm white. Yellow face. So they're like, what? How can you tell this story about workers, Chinese workers or labor workers in World War II when you're white? Like, where's the history? And so I, I asked you this question, but what do you think? Do you think you have to be a part of the story to tell the story?

Not at all. Storytelling.

Yeah.

Storytelling is storytelling.

Right.

So you don't have to be a part of that were the case. I mean, like, what are cartoon characters? You know, like, I mean, honestly, you know, I mean, like, yeah, the Jetsons don't exist, you know, Flintstones. We don't know anything about cavemen and women. We don't know anything about Native Americans outside of the. We don't even let them tell their own story.

Right.

So I don't think you have to be a part of a story to tell a story. I think it's bad to steal it, but you don't have to be a part of a story to tell a story, you know?

Right. So I think, especially because history is so, so open. I do, I think the problem with it, I don't. I do not think that you have to be a part of the story to hear the story, but I think bringing people who are part of the community in which you talk about alongside of you. Right. Or saying, this is where I got my research from, or this is what I was really inspired from to tell the story, or this using my unique ability to. To have words really has inspired me to tell the story alongside with these people.

I think that's interesting, validate the experience. I think that's more the culture we're in now juxtapose. Like 20 years ago, there was no social media. You wouldn't get canceled.

Right?

Right. Like, no one's.

And this is in the world of social media.

Yeah, I think that's a huge difference. I mean, I haven't read it. I'm not going to, but I think one of the things is why aren't you going to. I don't like that. I've. I've read a couple and I hate them. I just can't. The only novel that I was able to get into with the Splendid and the Vile, but that's it and that's about it. And even then I got through halfway pause and then finished it. But I. And I paused for like eight months and then brought it back. Then I'm actually gonna try to reread it again to try to get my mom. But I just. I don't like novels. I just like, what are the principles? And let's go forward. But anyway, like, I think this world of social media and stuff like that, where anything is like findable, if you will, and everybody's trying to find something. And even now deepfakes, like literally, for example, like just bringing to like what I see. Recently there's been stuff people make up about deep fakes or like fake Twitter accounts and people have to defend literal fake stuff.

Yeah.

That's not real. So you don't really know. So the people actually able to live lives lies or live lies because they've created whole Twitter accounts. What you mentioned something that happened the book create whole Twitter accounts to promulgate the lie. We don't even know. It's just. It's too confusing. But that's the world we live in. But I think 20 years ago. Yeah. People doing all the time. You find out like it's crazy to me when I found out like half these super pro black writers from the 80s and 90s were like a tenth black. You know what I mean? Just barely tipping black. Or even the girl from the Seattle NAACP who was white and just curled her hair. Right. It was just like you were able to do that then, but now it's all the court of public opinion. If you don't care what the court of public opinion doesn't matter. And you always have people that will support you. But so, I mean, I get what you're saying. I think it's the world we live in right now. Should you bring people alongside you? Yeah, for the court of public opinion. But yeah, I think, I think it's. I mean, so it's a.

It's a always realizing. It's always something people when it comes to like social media. So even if she was, I think Asian, it has still been something Even if she did in conjunction with the original writer of this story, it would have still been something all the time. Even if that. It's just one thing I'm realizing too, which is people, they like booty hoes. Everybody has she's.

And she was a white woman. So no matter what, there was something that was going to be inherently wrong with anything that she did.

Yeah.

So that's unfortunate. So. Yeah. Well, good. I'm glad you're enjoying the book.

Yeah, I'm really enjoying this one. And then Atomic Habits is really great and really challenging.

You like Atomic Habits?

Yeah, it's. It's interesting. Like it's kind of different for me to hear a story from the majority and how you taking your habits because I feel like there's a lot of privilege there and a lot of like grace given. But he starts the story with a very traumatic injury that happened to him that lots of people don't like come back from. And that kind of helped him kind of. I almost say like, I hate to say it but like on the same playing field as like the minority in which we don't get these opportunities and these differences really in them. And so I found it at first of all, I'm like, okay, man. What you guys tell me about like starting a habit, how easy it is start. But it's really, it's really great. And I like how it's based in like research like that scientific base.

So I get it.

Yeah.

I read Atomic Habits and I. It's so popular, like deep work. Right. I guess for me, like, I like Helen Newport, like, like I read a lot of those popular books and then I guess I looked at the second tier of them and Atomic Habits I think is just so oversaturated that everyone is saying the stuff in the topic habits. Like everyone's saying the stuff in deep work and everyone's saying the stuff in four hour work week. And so I just. So nothing against it. It's a story.

Well, as you can see, we have two vastly. This is just pretty much us in a nutshell. We are like on the opposite. We did the Myers Briggs like test too.

Oh yeah.

You and I are literally on the opposite end of the spectrum. I think instead of in like one category but like we're completely opposite and what we do, but that kind of makes us gel and work really well together.

So I'll speed read through these, make possibilities happen to me was phenomenal. And just to give you the general parts where it talks about being ready to see something, you see it, you start it, you do it, you finish it. Everything in here gives you about a 3 to 5 page like research and then it gives you something where you have to go apply it. A three step process to five step process of application. I thought it was absolutely wonderful. It's part of the D Schools package. You need a manifesto. I think actually had my staff go through this and brought one of the professors who helped write this book actually to my church to actually go over what it means to value set and to design your life differently and what it means to actually find and make your he. We did make your own mixtape, but here's making your own manifesto and what it means to design your life around asking bigger problem, defining your problem well, and looking for the process and the system and not the outcomes. And like too often in our work we're so consumed with the outcome. Like what are you like going into the year? What are your goals? What are your goals? What are your goals? Instead of defining your problem and you're knowing your values, right? And so like I don't have goals this year. I just really, really define like what I'm going to do. Really, really define my values and we'll see what happens from it. And if I don't have positive and great outcomes, I didn't start with this because the thing is too, what this book talks through is too often we have outcomes that are based upon somebody else's outcome, right? Like right now probably, like my goal is to make a flying car. They're literal, like multiple flying cars right now, right. My goal is to write a book. I've written them. My goal is to, I don't know, start a business. People start businesses every single day. But if my goal, if my system and my values are, this is what I value and this is the problem that I'm defining in my life or the problem defining in my business, then my outcomes will look different because I'm actually going to fulfill what's value driven and my actual problem. And so that's what I like about this. And I like, I like this work. It helped reshape my mind. And so even my work is not about, you know, outcomes. And even what I do personally is not about outcomes. It's about well defined problems and concrete values and going forward from there on a daily basis. And so I don't know what I mean, I know God has shared me for my personal life, but I don't know what the outcomes are going to be in everything. But I do know my values are defined and My. My. My systems are together. And then lastly, talking with God. What I will say about this book is there have been so many times just kind of recency bias, just as a pastor, too. Probably sounds terrible to say it, but, man, there have been times where I just did not want to talk to God because I was so mad. And this book actually had a chapter. It was like, four times. You don't want to talk to God. And one of them was literally, like, it described me. Now I'll just read the exact chapters out to all of you. So how to pray. When you face storms, when you're discouraged, when you're stuck in the mug, when you're exhausted, when you anchor, you just want to be used by God, and you're trying to extend grace. Each one of those chapters, and it found me in a moment. Like, one was literally when you're exhausted. And he told the story and of when he planted a church. Adam Weber, by the way, he planted a church. And how when he planted a church, he was in South Dakota, and there was, like, three feet of snow. He had to move the church sign back from the outside back to the inside of the church. And because he forgot to. So he had to drive back out in 3 foot of snow to move the sign back because we're gonna get ruined. And he said at that moment, he said, God, I quit. Like, I quit. I'm not doing this anymore. I hate this. Why don't people help? Why don't people engage? Why is everything on me? I don't do enough weddings. I don't do enough funerals. I don't do enough this and that. And then he said, like, three years later, the church blew up, right? Blew up. Church became this something amazing. And then he was like, I was doing three weddings a weekend. I was doing four funerals a week. I was burnt out. My wife was like, you don't know me. My kids were like, you don't even care about us anymore. And he said, I can never be everything to everyone. And that's kind of how I felt. And so I finished these books, which has been great. But that chapter just kind of really got me personally together to really intentionally be on my face, not just to preach on Sunday, because I got into a place where I was just praying to preach, and just like. Because I was just like, God, like, do you care? Do you know who I am? I'm annoyed. I didn't feel like. And then, like, I had people at my church that just, like, were eviscerating me and us On a regular basis. It seems like every time we turned around, it was just, I was just tired. They got to a place where it was just like, I'm done. You know what I mean? Like, I was just like, why am I, I'm smart. I don't need the popularity. I don't care about being popular online. I, I can preach and teach on YouTube or if there's like, you know, and it was just the moment where I was just exhausted. And you know, you get the two people that like you every week and then you get the hundreds of people who want to tell you everything terrible about you every Sunday. And it just gets exhausting after a while. And that's what. Not just that, but then like to leave out and have colleagues that are dealing with the same stuff, you know, and talk on the phone with my colleagues and they're just like, man, like, if someone, they talk about my wife, talk about my kids, talk about my preaching, talk about my body, talk about my hair, I have colleagues court that I guess I'm just talking who are like, I'm ready to give up, right? And I'm counseling them when I'm like, can you give me five minutes? Because if, if I just can't. And this book helped me realize that I can't lean on anything but Jesus, right? And I can't lean on anyone's voice but the Father's. And it really kind of helped me get back together.

So real about everything that you're saying. And I think it brings in the realness, the rawness, the authenticity about a relationship with God, right? And like when you were saying that, I think so many times in our prayers with God and even in our relationships, we act like God is so fragile. Like, we treat God like we, like he has our ego, like he has our. I can't bring God to real stuff. I can't tell God I'm frustrated. I can't tell God that I don't like this. I know I prayed for this or I know I did this. And I can't bring out my frustration because if I did, and I think it's from past generations and bringing that type of fear mongering, right? Because like master was God, right? And that type of language in narrative then has gone through generations, through generations, through generations. So now God, instead of being this infinite wise one, all knowing he's made this whole earth and you think that he can break down with your fragile questions, right? So we, we don't bring that hard stuff to God, right? So we just get Frustrated and saying, oh, this must be what God has to me. Instead of going to the Father in prayer and saying, like, God, I'm really frustrated in my life right now. I honestly don't know what to say to you. Like, I'm taken aback or like, oh, God, like, you know, God has given us straight provision. But in the provision, God has been so hard. Right? It's been hard because we know that you have brought us here without a doubt. And it's amazing to have authentic, real conversations.

Yeah.

Without disrespecting the Father, without, like, God is not going to break down. God is not fragile to our deepest, realest thoughts and prayers conversations. Right. He revels. It's when we grow. It's when, like, we see the trueness of who God is to us revealed in those most real, authentic prayers. But so many times we think God is so fragile that he's not able to handle it. And I think this is really, really great. Like, in the storms. No, God knows how you really feel. God, I'm upset that I lost my job. God, I'm upset that I lost this relationship. I'm gonna say that I'm not in a relationship. God, I don't have the house yet. I don't have the car, don't have the child. I don't have this. I don't have that.

Like, and what he talked about was even in that, like, he's the one who gave me the language to be like, stop saying, God help me.

Yeah.

I only got to help me.

Right?

Right. And so even saying, like, you know, I don't have the house or the car, relationship or money or job or whatever, it's like, God, like, where are you assigning me? Like, if you're so mad about your job, God, where are you assigning me? Like, you know, I know people from my church listen to this. Like, what I'm saying is very real. There was a moment last year where I was like, God, is this my assignment?

Yeah.

Because I can't. I, Justin, can't. I know you can, but I can. And it's like, is this my assignment? Did I miss you? Did I not hear you correctly? Did I. Did I move? And if I did, I repent.

Yeah.

And there was this moment in the month of December where, like, for a week, I fasted. Like, God, I repent. I repent if I send against you. And, like, this is punishment. I repent. Like, whatever. Like, I don't know. I'm like, but I can't. I can't do the evisceration. And I. That was the first time I was honest with God, right. I was just like, if this is punishment, I'm sorry. Yeah, listen to this, this prayer and I'll leave it. But he said, here, now that I'm on. It's in the chapter of how to pray when you're exhausted. Now that I'm on the other side of sheer exhaust and I find myself tempted. We tempted weekly, sometimes daily, to do things on my own. I want to put my head down and work harder. I think I can figure everything out on my own. I try to push and push and push some more. But once I come to my senses, I'm quick to say this. Lord, forgive me. Forgive me of my pride. Forgive me for thinking I'm invincible. Forgive me for ever thinking that I'm you. At times I'm an idiot and I need you. He ends this paragraph by saying, too busy. I'm busy. Just hours into the week. I was tired. Too busy to breathe, too busy to think straight, too busy to talk with God. I just kept going. I just need to make it through. And I reminded myself. And he goes on and on. And he ends it by saying, here's the prayer that I'll give every single one of you, Lord, I need you. And that chapter was just so eye opening. And I remember that one the most. Like, obviously he has so much other stuff in here that he talks about. It's highly. I highly recommend it. I emailed it to our church as well. But yeah, it's a quick read too. Like the chapter is like five pages long. But I was able to read. You're able to read one or use in the restroom. Like, I have this commitment to myself this year. No phones in the restroom, only reading. And it's been eye opening. Like one, how long you don't stay in there? Then two, how much time you waste by scrolling through other people's lives. Like you don't learn anything.

Yeah.

On these YouTubes and TikToks. But I can. I spend time in the word of God every time I use a restroom and all of that. So that's been eye opening. So those are books. I finished these and feel good about it. I'm starting another book now. Well, continuing. I didn't finish it called Mapping Innovation and I'm pairing that. I haven't found a good prayer book to pair it with, but going to pair with another book on prayer. I have these deep theological books. I just don't feel like reading. But I wanted to. I thought about rereading Circle Maker.

Such a good one.

Yeah. To pair it with Mapping Innovation.

If you're looking to get started in prayer, right. Really get started or even, you know, deepen your prayer life, you know, reinvent your prayer life. Prayer circle is an amazing one too. We even have prayer circle for children. We're just helping children over your children and praying those those prayers. And that's such a good book. Yeah, I think we should read that together.

Circle Maker was great. And then there's like the 21 day prayer channel challenge which is really amazing too. So I thought about pairing that book with Mapping Innovation to read this week and then jump into something new, the next book.

So let us know in the comments. What are you waiting what have you started? January 24th reading. We would love to hear it. Any recommendations that you have, we want to see them and we would love to to read them too and put them a part of our collection and see if they have them at the local library. Yeah, I always say library wrong. I say Liberia was library.

No, no. And so thank you guys for joining in with us today. We're working from home and pray you guys have an amazing day, an amazing week and pray God's absolute best for you. We'll see you next week, Monday for more journeys and our working from home. So God bless you.

Y.