Ep #173: The 7 Capacities You Need for Results

Welcome to the Get a Six-Figure Job You Love podcast. This is episode 173, The 7 Capacities You Need for Results. Stay tuned. Welcome to the Get a Six-Figure Job You Love and Thrive podcast, where I, Natalie Fisher, I'm teaching you weekly how to land your premium role that you love and thrive in it. Let's go. All right. We're just gonna jump right in. The first one is capacity for rejection. This is huge, and I've been experiencing it more and more as I've been going through my own journey in business, in life, in career, in whatever it is you're doing. Even if you already have a job and you love it, your ideas are gonna get rejected. You're gonna get overlooked, ignored in some indirect sense. Rejected. And that's okay. We have to normalize that as something we have to develop a capacity for. And the people who have a really, really low capacity for rejection are the people who are going to be the least amount successful because rejection is just a requirement. And there's good TED Talks to read about rejection, to listen to. I've listened to them. And there's a book about rejection. A guy who just, his goal was to get rejected like 100 times and he just went and asked for random things. I think he just went and asked if he could play soccer in someone's backyard. And surprisingly, he got yeses for a lot of things he wasn't expecting and he got a lot of nos. And so I would encourage you, just, you feel like rejection, the fear of rejection could be holding you back. It's a huge indicator of the success in your life, not just in your career, but because You'll get rejected on the job hunt. You'll get rejected by people. You'll get rejected by people who don't respond to you in messages. I get rejected every day by people who don't like me, don't like what I said, don't like what I'm doing, don't like how fast I talk, don't like how long my posts are, don't like the pictures that I post or whatever. I get rejected all the time. And I've just realized it's a normal thing. And like sometimes, yeah, I get a little sting of like, oh, that kind of sucks, but it's not something that ever Stops me, or I would ever consider being down and out about for any length of time anymore. Maybe like a couple hours, half a day, it's in the back of my mind or something at the most, but it's not a thing that is a problem. It's just, I understand it. I have a really good relationship with rejection and with myself. So I know that that's a thing. So you have to kind of develop a high capacity for rejection. And the way that you do that is you get rejected more. And you don't make it mean anything about you. So when I get rejected, I make it mean that I'm doing a good job of being myself and that the right people are rejecting me for the right reasons. And when I believe that, I feel like I'm doing it right and we're just moving along like we should. So capacity for rejection, huge. Second, capacity for curiosity. So there's a balance, right? When you get rejected, it could be because it just wasn't a right match. And it also could be because maybe you didn't communicate something that you could have. Maybe there was something that you or I could have done differently to not get rejected. Maybe, right? And maybe not. And that's where the nuance comes in. And that's where the mental capacity and the expansion comes in. And we coach a lot. On this inside my community, inside my container, because it's important to make that distinction, right? Sometimes we can't know, so we just have to come to peace with it and the faster we can move on, the better. But sometimes it's very, very clear. Sometimes, you know, and sometimes you can make an adjustment and you can implement differently. So the capacity for curiosity is huge. And that's something that has been very obvious to me lately with my business growing and things ramping up and me getting ready to hire soon. Curiosity. Just shifting to curiosity, right? So I have a couple of people that do work for me now, and just instead of getting upset or immediately blaming them or whatever, I'm always just curious first. I'm like, okay, I'm going to ask them about that. I'll ask them about that before I have any emotions about it. So before I have any emotions, before I go to react, I'm always looking to ask first to confirm my assumptions, to confirm what I know is true in a very, or what I think is true in a very neutral way. So I'll just be like, oh, why is this like that? Not blaming, not upset, not making any conclusions yet. Just be like, oh, what was the reason for putting that there? And often it's not what I thought. So curiosity, another way that I use curiosity really powerfully is when I don't get a result I wanted and I move to, huh, I wonder why that result didn't work out. And then I brainstorm ideas or reasons why, and then I move forward. Sometimes I go to my coach and I get coaching on it, and I move forward through that power of curiosity. And it lets me expand on all the opportunities that are there and all the lessons that are there instead of getting all in my head about it not working, right? Because the facts are the facts. It didn't work, this didn't happen. And the definition of failure is simply You did not get the result you expected. And when you say it like that, it kind of sounds neutral to me. It's like, okay, I didn't get the result I expected. Huh. Okay. This was the result we got. Interesting. So curiosity, you need to develop a capacity for that in all situations. There is no downside to it. Capacity for iterating. So knowing that iterating isn't going to be the first time you get it done is going to be perfect. So iterating things like your resume, for example. Maybe you try it out, you put it out there a few times and you get some great response from it. And maybe you don't, maybe you need to iterate. So I've spoken to quite a few people who have iterated their resume and seen the progression of the results. And I think that this is an amazing journey to do because you get to feel a sense of pride and you get a sense of learning, right? So say if you iterated on your own resume and you made the changes yourself, you didn't pay somebody to do them, but you did them. And then You got to have the learning from every time you made those changes and you implemented what would happen. You get to see that because, and you were the one who made the changes. If you have someone else doing them all the time, you don't actually get that learning. So, you're not getting better at iterating your value through words. Somebody else is, right? So, and I strongly believe that communicating your value through words, through speaking, through interviewing, through asking questions, through having conversations is one of the most important skills you can have. Because we know lots of people with degrees and 70+ certifications don't have the skill of communicating their value and understanding it, quantifying it. If they don't have those skills, then they're not gonna be able to reach the success that they want because they're missing that key skill. So a lot of what we do inside my program is all about the value creation, value communication. So the capacity for iterations and knowing that Your job search is an iterative approach, and like my business is an iterative approach. Like everything I do is an iterative approach, and it just takes away that disappointment of oh, I wish that had gone better. I wish I had done that better. It takes away any shame of me not being good enough on the one try that I did, and makes me think immediately about the next, and gets me thinking about okay, that was good. Next time, I'm going to add this. Next time, I'd like to add this. I'm going to add. I'm going to do this next time. I'm going to think like this next time. So those are some examples of iterations. And so the capacity for iterating is required. And these are skills you can take with you, not just for the job hunt, but into your new role. Because say you get some feedback in your new role and they're like, oh, we don't like how you did this. Instead of being disappointed and ashamed and embarrassed that you didn't do what they wanted, if you look at it as, oh, it was always supposed to be an iterative approach, you can say, oh, okay, tell me what you didn't like about it specifically. Tell me more. Okay, I can see that. I can make those changes. What was your goal with this? Where did that not hit? Where did that not land? And going back to that curiosity, knowing it's an iteration, and then fixing it and being like, no problem, we'll get that solved, right? If you agree with the changes and make sense to you, right? So, iteration, capacity for iterating. Capacity for imperfect work. So, these kind of go hand in hand, iterations and imperfect work, right? So, if you're not trying to get it perfect, you get it out faster. And that means you get feedback faster, which means you make progress faster, right? And we have to have a capacity for doing that. So if you're somebody who's very much in perfectionist mode, you are always trying to be perfect, always trying to get things perfect, you will struggle with making progress quickly, right? And you might be somebody who identifies as somebody who takes a long time to make decisions, who thinks about it a lot, who overthinks, and That probably means that you don't have a very high capacity for imperfect work. You don't have a very high capacity for making imperfect decisions because you want everything to be just right the first time. So, that's not how life works. It's an iterative approach that starts with imperfect action and imperfect work. So, I know in school we were taught that everything has to be perfect and that we need an A+, but in the real world, not so useful, not so effective, and really, really, really slow. If any progress at all. Number 5, capacity for forgiving yourself and moving on. So I definitely still get in my head about, oh, I shouldn't have done that. Maybe that could have been better. Maybe I should have done that better. And if I do that, I always talk nicely to myself afterwards. So I say, of course, I kind of coach myself like this. And I say, of course you wish that would've gone better. Of course, maybe you can see now that you wouldn't have done that. Maybe you would've done that differently, but you couldn't have known what you didn't know. There's no way you could have known that beforehand. And what did you actually learn from it? How is this useful and how can you use this next time? What could still be done to make this valuable, right? So I always coach myself and get back to my nice person version of myself in my brain, right? So sometimes I'll be like, oh, that was silly. I shouldn't have done that. And then I'll be like, but how could you have known that before you did it, right? And that's true of anything you've done too. You couldn't have known until you did it. Right? Not really. Like, you might've thought you should have seen some things coming, but really it was there because you needed that lesson, and you are now responsible for taking everything you can from that lesson. Okay. Number 6, capacity for negative emotion passing through you. So negative emotion is unavoidable. One of my coaches says there's no exit ramp off the human experience. As much as we might look for one, there is no exit ramp. So If we're just cruising along, having a human experience, negative emotion passing through will be part of it. And so what I've been doing is being very aware of them, just being aware that I'm having this emotion. I'm like, okay, this is what anxious feels like, or this is what tired, maybe mentally tired feels like. This is what demotivated feels like, right? And just having these emotions, maybe I don't wanna have them, but I'm actually working with an emotions coach now because I really wanted to study this part of my life because it's Well, it's so prevalent, and I just wanted to know that I was using my emotions in the most positive way that I could, even the negative ones, right? Because they are there to tell us something. They are there for a reason. So capacity for negative emotion is huge. So I remember when I was first starting my business, I got a whole ton of people saying no to me, and my capacity for rejection then was pretty low. And I cried a lot after people said no to me on sales calls for coaching, and I would be very, very disappointed, and I would contemplate giving up, and I would just want to crawl out of my skin because I was so sad about it not working, right? And so that negative emotion still passes through. It's just a different frequency of it, a different flavor of it now, because I know it's part of the journey, right? So my capacity has grown and expanded tremendously. And so this is for when you're, when you're doing a job hunt and stuff too. It's like I was saying on one of the posts I did recently on LinkedIn is that people, we need to have a capacity for these things during a job hunt. These things are required for results. And most people, they don't see it coming. They don't expect it. They don't know. And so, when things don't work out right away, they will be insanely disappointed, wrecked, shocked, surprised, scared, worried. And If it was possible to kind of tell them that's all normal and part of the journey upfront and for them to really understand it, it would be the best heads up ever, right? But people don't really understand that and they don't know what it's like. They don't under— they don't know what to expect. They set really short unrealistic expectations and then they get really, really disappointed really soon and really quickly. And so when you've grown your capacity in these 7 ways, then it doesn't have that same effect on you, right? So, when you've grown your capacity, it's like, okay, we move on, we do this, we feel the negative emotion, we iterate, we get curious, we continue doing work imperfectly, we get smarter as we go, we work out the how as we go, we create along the way. We know that these are the things that it takes to get somewhere instead of, oh my God, it didn't work. What am I going to do? I'm screwed. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this after all. Maybe I— Just going to the worst place scenario, right? Going to that identity of someone who's struggling really, really quickly and then completely losing sight of the value that you bring to the table, which never changed. And if anything, increased, right? So the 7th one is capacity for neutrality and detachment. So that's something that really trips people up hugely is when they are very, very attached to one particular outcome or the fact that one particular thing has to come through. They get really, really attached to that. And then they just keep wanting to follow up with that same person, with that same recruiter, with that same company. And as they do that, they just put more energy and more thought and more capacity into thinking about that one person or that one company. And while they're doing that, they are not expanding their horizons. So putting eggs in one basket. And a lot of people say, oh no, no, I'm still applying. I'm still applying. But it's like, if your energy is being held hostage, like your emotional energy is with this one place. Like it's, it's about the detachment of it, right? Like completely just being like, okay, almost like you forget about it, right? And because you're so like into the other things that are there, like your desire for new opportunities and exploration of talking to new people and having new strategic conversations is so big that you forget about the other, right? So that's the capacity for neutrality and detachment. And those are the 7 things that you are required to create results in anything that you're doing. So like I said, you can take this into the job that you're in. You're gonna, like, these are applicable to anything. Even if you're already doing a job, you're working on a project, you're completing something. And remember that In the job hunt, you are where you are, but as soon as you get that job, you'll be like, yay, and you'll celebrate for 5 minutes and then you'll hit the ground running with the new results you want to get. So enjoy the process, learn how to expand your capacity for these 7 things, and your life will be a lot less overwhelming and a lot easier in general. Even though it's still hard, your capacity has now expanded. So it's like, yes, things are still difficult, things might still take what they take, but your capacity is a lot bigger and you are a lot more evolved, so it won't seem as hard, if that makes sense to you. That's— has 100% been my experience anyway. So thank you for listening, and I will talk to you all next week. Bye-bye. Hey, have you left me a review yet? If not, leaving me one now comes with an awesome bonus perk. I'm going to give you access to my $97 course. It's titled 8 Reasons Why You Get Interviews But No Job Offers. This course is normally $97, but when you leave me a review as a thank you, I will give you access to it for free. And it's helped many professionals like you land their premium job offers and make more money just by simply going through this 4-day training that I did. I received so much feedback on so many of the results just from this $97 training, and I'd love to gift you that for free. So all you have to do is leave me a review on your favorite podcast platform, preferably iTunes, screenshot the review, email it to me. The details are in the show notes of the episode, and I can't wait to read your reviews and send you access to that course. Thank you so much.