Ep #225 - When Should I Give Up, How Do I Decide What I Want? Questions Answered!

Hello, this is the Get a Six Figure Job You Love and Thrive podcast. This is episode 225. I'm going to answer a couple questions today: when should I give up? How do I decide what I want? And other questions answered, so stay tuned. Welcome to the Get a Six Figure Job You Love and Thrive podcast, where I, Natalie Fisher, am teaching you weekly how to land your premium role that you love and thrive in it. Let's go! Hello if you're watching on video. Hello if you're Hello, welcome. So there's a lot of questions. I've been working with clients this week because I had an offer for a VIP day that I sold. I actually ended up overselling it. There was too many people that signed up before I got to disable the link, but that's a good problem to have. And I'm so happy to be working with each and every one of these new clients. And through this experience, a lot of new questions have come up. So one of the biggest ones is This is taking so long. When should I just give up? Basically, right? Like, maybe you felt like that before as well. And I know that I have, right? When you're thinking, okay, I've been at this for however many months, however many years, when is it time to just be like, okay, this is just not going to work for me. It's not in the cards for me. It's not going to happen, right? And I have so many thoughts on this because I've coached on it so often. And I've been coached on it myself because I've been in the same position. I've been like, well, when is this gonna You know, and when am I going to finally start seeing results? When is this going to work? Right? Like in very early days of my business, which I wouldn't even count as times in my business because I wasn't getting any results. Right? So here's the answer that I have for you now. It's like, first of all, you always have the option to quit, right? You always have the option to just say, okay, I'm just going to quit. I'm not going to— I'm going to not go for my goal anymore. I'll go for something less, something easy. I'll just— I'm not going to do it. And sometimes when I'm coaching someone and I ask them that, I'm like, well, then why don't you just quit? Everything kind of comes into perspective for them after that, right? I remember I was coaching one young lady in HR, and she was just really like— she had great HR experience. She was perfect HR, lovely person, right? Just having some mindset, some mindset struggles. And She was in a very, very, very dark place. And she was like, oh, I've been on these interviews, and it hasn't worked, and all this. And I said to her, well, why don't you just quit? And she's like, well, that's not really an option. I'm like, well, yeah, sure it is. You could go down and work at the Starbucks if you want. And then she was just like, well, no, of course I would never do that. And so then getting back on board with her journey and what it takes to get to her HR position became so much more clear that, yes, that was a choice, and that's what she wanted. And now she was— happy to go back in it to figure it out, right? Sometimes just seeing that contrast is like, okay, well, of course I'm not gonna quit. I'm not gonna go— I'm not going to do that, right? Oftentimes what I see is people will quit behind their own back without even really knowing it. So I had one client who, she was in it to get a 6-figure position in Salesforce as a business Salesforce business partner. That's what she ended up landing in the end, but She was struggling. And so what she did instead was she just went back to applying for customer service roles. And through the coaching, she would— this came up and I'm just like, well, why, why are you applying for those customer service roles? And she goes, well, because I thought it would be easier, because that was what her last job was, right? And I'm like, has it been easier? And she goes, well, no, I still haven't succeeded with that. I'm like, It's because you are supposed to go after that bigger goal, right? And changing it, you think that you're going to have an easier time. And you know, that could be possible. You could go and it might be really easy to get a job done at the 7-Eleven, right? But that doesn't mean that that's what you want to do. But if you do, you can totally do it. Anyway, when I work with clients, they come into perspective with that question. So I just wanted to offer that to anybody who wants it. If you're in a struggle right now, if you're on the struggle bus and you're like, well, how long is it going to take? Why isn't it here yet? When should I just quit? Ask yourself this: why don't you just quit that? It's an option. All right, the answer, continuing on, is that you never quit. It takes what it takes, right? And anything that's worthwhile is going to take more than you probably think it is. It's going to require more creativity. It's going to expand your thought process. It's going to expand your capability. It's going to expand your resilience. It's going to expand you. And That is not something everybody's up for. So like I said, you can quit and go do the easy thing, and that's an option for you. No judgment, right? So it's going to take what it's going to take, and that's just the answer. That's just the way of it, right? It's, it's going to take what it's going to take, right? And someone once told me, one of my mentors, he said, if you're not okay with that, then you shouldn't be in business. If you're not okay with that, then you should just quit right now. And that's when I realized, I'm like, okay, he's talking to me, who I am, who I wanna be, is like, okay, I'm in it till it's done. I'm in it till I achieve it. Right? And with that attitude, you're not so graspy about the timeframe. You know, you're not like, ah, well, it has to happen by this day. It has to happen by this day. Right? So in business and having been in business for a long time sustainably, Which wasn't always the case. I would now say there's some caveats, right? Like, yes, you have to deal with your immediate needs. Yes, you have to deal with your immediate things in front of you, like paying bills and whatnot, right? And there's always ways to figure that out. That always comes down to resourcefulness in your own mind, right? Never comes down to a lack of resources. It's always a lack of resourcefulness in your own mind. So something else really valuable that I think and that I believe is really— has been really useful for me is I can always deal with the things in front of me, the immediate things that need to be dealt with. Like, you need to pay for things immediately in front of you. Like, you need to pay for food at the most basic level. You can deal with that stuff. Of course you have to deal with it. You don't want to ignore it and delude yourself that you don't need that. However, you don't have to give it any power, right? Like, if your bank balance isn't what you'd like it to be, you don't have to give it any power. That circumstance doesn't have any power over you, right? You could just be like, yeah, I'm dealing with it, I'm handling it, and I'm creating over here. Like, That's where my energy and my thoughts and my brain is. It's in the creation mode, and it's in that creation mode until I get what I'm creating, right? But I don't have to give any power to that current circumstance that I'm not— that I don't want, right? So we deal with things like responsible adults, but we don't give any power, any extra power to that circumstance, right? It's like, yeah, that is how it is. Someone also said to me, Like all these things that all these wonderful mentors have said to me over the years, see things as you want them to be, not as they are. And we get to do that. We are where our attention is. So that's the answer to that question is, when do I give up? When do I stop? When do I quit? Simple recap. Quit anytime you want. Consider actually why you haven't quit. Second, it takes what it takes. And if you don't like that answer, then you should probably quit. So there you go. There's my tough love. It's a little blunt sometimes. I try to refine it and polish it as best I can, but sometimes it just, that's just how it is. So love it or leave it. All right. The next question is, how do I decide what to do? Basically, I don't know what to do. There's all these things I could do. I'm not really sure what I want in this place of I don't know, right? This is kind of like if there was a purgatory. This is what it would be like, you know. And I always think about purgatory on Family Guy, like this white space that you're just floating in that has no nothing in it. So it's just like this really boring place where you're, you're not moving, you're not going anywhere, you're not doing anything. It's just a white space where you're floating. So from that white space, there's all these options. You could do this, you could do that, you could do that. And so when I have this coaching conversation with clients, the thing that always comes up is, well, I could do this. I'm good at this. I have done this. I can do this. I can do that. And I always ask first thing, would— do you want to do that? Just because you could, it doesn't mean you want to. How does it feel in your body? Are you excited about that? Do you feel lit up when you think about it? When you think about it, do you relax or do you tense up? Do you expand or does your body constrict? A lot of the times your body will have wisdom that you don't pay attention to if we're not used to tuning into our inner wisdom, right? So most of the time people don't necessarily want to do what they could do, right? Because I always think about it like I could go work on a construction site. And build houses. I'm sure that I could do that. I don't want to though. Like, it's the last thing I want to do. I could do accounting and bookkeeping and start a bookkeeping business or go work as a bookkeeper, but I would rather stick a rusty fork in my eye than do that. So I just really don't want to, but I could. I'm capable. So what you're capable of doesn't equal what you want. It doesn't equal what you're meant to do. It doesn't mean really much at all, right? Because of course, if you had to, you would, but you don't have to, right? So the answer to this question is another question, and it is, what do you really, really, really want? If everything that you decided was going to turn out amazing, if you could have your ideal situation, what would it look like? Right. And this is where most people will shut down their ideal situations. They'll shut down and they'll say, ah, but that's not possible. Oh, but I could never make money doing that. Oh, but I can't do that. Oh, but that wouldn't work. Right. All these doubts and preconceived ideas come in at that point and just kind of shut down any seedling of whatever you might find that you want to do. Right. And This is kind of like, since I was 15 years old, I was listening to Tony Robbins books and CDs, and I would get my hands on any personal development book, seminar, anything I could get my hands on, I would go do it. And I remember thinking, like, on career day at school, if I could do anything, I would want to just read personal development books for a living. I'm like, I would want to read them and I'd like maybe summarize them and like talk about them, and that's what I would want to do, and I would want to get paid for that. And of course the teachers are like, well, yeah, you can't do that. Like, possible— that's not a career. That doesn't fit into any of these boxes, so you have to pick something else, right? So it gets shut down when we're kids, I'm sure. Like, if you said something, maybe you said you wanted to do something, and, you know, maybe they would— they were like, no, you can't do that, or there's no profession that fits into, and that's a no, right? Or Maybe like my dad, you were told you can't make any money at doing that. So my dad, he is now a woodworker. He's a very successful woodworker. He has a business called The English Cabinetmaker because he's British, and he has been doing that for 30 years now. However, when he was 15 years old, he was told, you'll never make money doing that. Don't bother with that. You'll have to find a real job, right? And so he went and became a carpet salesman, and he hated being a carpet salesman. He made good money doing it, but he hated it. And it wasn't until years and years and years later that my mom supported him in becoming a carpenter, a woodworker, and helped him build the business and evolve it into what it is today. And they have created themselves the life that they've created. It wasn't because, like, he didn't believe that he could originally do that. It was my mom who said to him, hey, what if you could? What if we could set up a furniture store? What if people would come in and buy furniture from you, from us? What if I worked in the store and you built the furniture? What if we gave it a try? Right? Like, it wasn't until my mom did that kind of belief opening that my dad even had it as a consideration or a possibility, right? And that's what I find with a lot of my clients. Like, they're kind of just shutting down what they think they— what they want because they don't believe it's possible. And it's just subconsciously shut off. It's like a part of your brain that's been shut off subconsciously because somebody told you, oh, you'll never make money doing that. You can't do that. You can't do that, right? I even have a client now who loves theater and she's very outgoing and she loves talking to people and she's got really great skills and she's struggling to figure out where she can make this work, right? What career would work for her where she can actually do things that she loves doing and make money, right? And so that's been an exploration process for her because she's had to wrap her mind around the belief that that is possible, right? That you could do something that would involve talking to people, maybe building communities, you know, interacting all day with people and making money, right? Maybe even doing some kind of performing or some kind of theater thing mixed in with it. And it totally is possible. The thing that's stopping her is that she's building her belief yet to believe it's possible, right? So even you watching this might be thinking, oh, I know a few jobs that might work for her, right? It's totally possible, right? So we have to make sure that we are not allowing ourselves to be shut down right away with what we want, right? Because if I had allowed that To be true. Like, oh, you can never have a job that allows you to read personal development books and bring that knowledge into what you're doing and expression. And like, I wouldn't have the job that I have now, which is basically what I'm doing now, right? It's like taking all my knowledge and wisdom and things that have worked for me and now sharing it with other people and having one-on-one interactions with people that help them uplevel even further. And like, I wouldn't be doing any of that if I just shut it down and said, oh yeah, that's not possible. Right? Like, that'll never work. There's no job that fits into that box. That's just— yeah. So we have to let our desires percolate a little bit. We have to let them grow. We have to give them— it's like we have to plant the seedling and then we have to water the seedling. We have to allow it to grow. We have to allow it to flourish, right? And if we never plant the seedling, we never water it, we never nurture it, we never come back to it, then it's just dead. It's just not even— You know, it doesn't even have a chance, right? So that's what I like. The process that I just went through this morning with one of my clients, so beautiful. She had all these things that she wanted to do, but she had kind of shut them down, right? She didn't see the real possibility that was there. She kind of didn't even have it in her awareness that, you know, what could be possible, what could be built from this idea, how awesome and exciting and aligned that could be for her, and how perfectly it could fit into her life and how she wants to be able to live her lifestyle. And like, So much is possible for you that, you know, you haven't even thought of yet, right? And like, consider the fact that the life you're living right now could just be a 2 out of 10 for the possibility that exists for you, right? And that goes for all of us, right? And that's why we need to be expanded. We need to see bigger possibilities, and we won't do that if we're in our same circles, in our same belief systems, in our same habits, right? That's what I have for you today. If you have any questions that you would like me to answer, talk about, riff on, please submit them to my email support@asknataleefisher.com. And, uh, I'd be happy to answer them for you on a later date in a podcast, in a video. I'd love to hear from you. So let me know and I will talk to you next week. Bye-bye. Hey there. Thanks for listening. If you're new here, I'm Natalie Fisher. And if you wanna take this work even deeper than the podcast where I help you apply it and I help you dig into your own personal situation, you have 2 ways to do that. The first is in my signature program, the Six Figure Curriculum, where we go through everything you need and I personally help you weekly to land that 6-figure premium role. And the second way, once you land that 6-figure premium role, is the Time to Thrive Mastermind. So if you're already in an amazing premium role that you love and you want to advance, you want to develop your mindset, you want to thrive in that role, then I support you in my Time to Thrive Mastermind. So that's the 2 ways that you can work with me if you want to take the work on the podcast deeper. The links for those are in the show notes below. To go right away, you can go to www.nataliefisher.ca/start.