Ep #235 - How To Stand Out

Hello, this is the Get a Six Figure Job You Love podcast. This is episode 235, How to Stand Out. Stay tuned. Hey there, I'm Natalie Fisher. I'm a six-figure business builder, a mom of a 2-year-old, the recoverer of a 10-year narcissistic relationship, and now in a super healthy one. And most of all, I'm a human who's figuring this out with you. This podcast is about how to use your mind to thrive in your career and create the subconscious breakthroughs that you need to get there. The subconscious blocks that you don't even know you have to achieving your highest levels of earning and your best zone of genius moments and days in the flow. That is my goal for you. Let's dive into the episode. And before we dive into today's episode, just one more thing. I'm the coach who will always point you back in the direction of your own wisdom. And so before you listen to my episode or anybody's episode, I want to remind you of that because I know from a lot of personal experience that anything is only as effective as the amount of resonance that it has within your uniquely built brain, with how it's going to blend with your experience, With your history, with your past, with your existing beliefs. And so something is only going to work if it feels right to you and you believe in it, or you want to do the work to believe in it. And that's where I can help you. Your inner wisdom is infinitely more valuable than mine or anybody else's for that matter, when it comes to getting the outcomes that you are here to get. I'm happy that you're here. I'm glad that we're on the planet at the same time, and I can't wait to help you transform your life and career. Hello, hello! Welcome to 2025. How is your year going so far? To be honest, mine has felt a bit slow. The start to the year has felt slow. It has been like full of wanting to relax. So I've been listening to that. I've been relaxing more. And I've also been following the intuition that I got from December, which was I needed to start talking about how to value yourselves. So that whole thing that I went through with the 10-year relationship and how I didn't understand how I wasn't valuing myself, that kind of came into this new program that I'm doing. And it's become really apparent that that is what I need to be talking about more. I need to be talking about how people aren't valuing themselves and all those wounds and all those blind spots that they have, like I had, are showing up as lesser paychecks, lesser salaries, lower quality environments, all that kind of stuff. But anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about today. What I wanted to talk to you about today was how to stand out. So I just named the podcast really simply, How to Stand Out. It's often like the simplest titles seem to catch attention like that. And, but I wanted to do it because I'm reading this book. It's called Get Different. So that's another thing I've been wanting to do in the past. or I guess few days of the new year. And this makes me think of one of my clients. She's like, I just wanna curl up with a good book. I don't wanna do like, I don't wanna do my job searching activities, or I don't wanna do. And that's a lot of what I've been feeling like too. It's like, I just wanna curl up with these business books. And it's always been really incredible to me how I'm like, if I listen to that, I do end up coming into a great idea, into the action. The action just flows outta me. I don't even really need to think about it. If I listen to what brings me joy in the moment, and I think that is because I'm really connected to my mission. So I'm really connected to my clients and wanting to help people, and I generally just enjoy being a coach. I enjoy. I don't like the name coach, but I enjoy the interactions that we have, right? And so because I love it so much, I'm not afraid that I'm not going to do it or that I'm not going to create something that's going to create success later for me, or I'm not afraid of any of that because I'm really connected to the mission, and I'm not. I'm not somebody who is scheduled and planned, right? Like, I'm not gonna have a schedule that's scheduled down to the T and that I'm gonna follow. I listened to one podcast and I love her, the woman that does the podcast, but she talks about how she loves scheduling her day to the point where she schedules the 5 minutes she's gonna take her dog out. And I'm like, that does not sound fun to me at all. So, and I know there's a lot of programs that teach that and I've taken a lot of programs that teach you how to schedule out your day, and I'm just not that person. So I've just come to terms with it because otherwise I just was doing it, setting myself up to fail and then not doing it. And then, so I get the results that I need to get and I get the ideas that I need to get when I listen to what's, as cheesy as it sounds, what sparks me joy to do next. And that might be clean up something, declutter something, read something, but it's gonna be productive for me in the moment, even if it's not like the thing that my brain says I should be doing right now. Right. So just wanted to give you permission if you're not a scheduled person or if you don't love scheduling yourself within an inch of your life, that society has kind of conditioned us to think that, you know, that's how we have to do it to be productive. But I don't believe that's true. And I have a lot of evidence against it because I get more done, a lot done, and I do it in bursts in different times. And like, I'm recording this podcast at 7:40 PM at night, and that is the best time for me to record it because I'm the most inspired to do it. My daughter's in bed. My partner's downstairs with his friends watching UFC. I'm just in my happy place right now recording this podcast for you. So, so let's get onto the topic of today and talking about how to stand out. So the first thing that comes to mind for me, and I'm— the reason I'm doing this podcast is 'cause I was reading this book called Get Different. And the way that he was talking about standing out was, it really, really resonated with me. And I was just screaming, yes, yes. Like I felt like he was saying everything I was trying to communicate. To my clients, right? And so I'm going to use some of what I learned in the book and incorporate some of what I wanted to add to it. And that's why this podcast is the episode that it is today. So the problem that we have in general as like members of society is that we are trying to actually blend in. We don't know it, but we're trying to blend in because whenever we follow someone's advice. Whenever we follow like somebody on YouTube who says to write your resume like this, or somebody who says to answer the question like this, or to dress professionally, or whenever we follow someone's advice to do something a certain way, everybody is getting that same advice, right? Everybody is getting the same best standard practices to do everything, right? That's how a resume exists today as a thing that we even use, right? So that's like submitting a resume through Easy Apply or a website, right? The standard practices to get a job are the ones that everybody's doing. The way that people show up to interviews are the way that everybody is taught to show up to interviews, right? And it could even be like if you've studied a lot of interview coaching or you've studied a lot of rehearsed answers or things like that, that you start to feel like you're over-rehearsed. I've heard a client who said that to me. She's like, yeah, I was studying all these answers and it doesn't really feel like me, but it sounds like the right thing to say. It sounds good. So I figured I should probably say something like that. And we get caught up in this. And so in the book, he was talking about how He used this great metaphor. He was like, if you're looking for, like, let's say you're looking for your soulmate. I think this was the example he used, but it could be like you're looking for someone to hire or you're looking for somebody, right? And not just anybody, you're looking for a specific person. And all you see when you look for people is a whole bunch of people in gray suits. Right? You can be men, they could be women, they could be— they're just humans in gray suits. That's it, right? And it's just like a whole sea of them, right? And then there's this one person who's wearing a bright red suit or a bright red dress or a bright blue suit, but that person is automatically going to stand out. However, That isn't something that we see very often. Well, very— like, that's why it's called standing out, right? Because most people don't have the guts to wear really bright red shoes when they go out, right? Or they don't— like, they would feel embarrassed, or they would feel like all the attention is on them, or it would feel very uncomfortable to stand out in that way, right? And so in the same way, we're taught to do these things that are the same as everybody else and not not stand out, right? So we're, we're actually being, we've been conditioned and we've been taught not to stand out. And I'm guilty of the same thing. Like I actually saw, I had a, my headline on LinkedIn was like, I'll help you get a 6-figure job. And I don't remember it. I've changed it since, but I saw somebody else with the exact same headline and I was like, so I'm like, I don't like that. Like, I don't like that I have the exact same headline as someone else. And I'm like, I'm doing so much more than that. I'm like, Doing so much more than helping you get a 6-figure job like this. And I remember that the reason why I had that headline was because a coach suggested it. They were like, well, what do your people want? And I'm like, well, they wanna get a 6-figure job. She's like, well, great. That should be your headline. And same with the name of this podcast. It was like, what do your people want? And I'm like, it doesn't feel aligned with me anymore because it's like, yes, I help you do that, but it's so much more. And I think the piece with the valuing yourself and like that story that I brought into it. Mm-hmm. it just clarified things for me. And things are evolving over here, let's just say, right? Like, things are, and I don't exactly know how they're gonna change or how they're gonna evolve, but I know that they are. And it'll be in accordance to what's more aligned with me moving forward. But I know that those titles feel stale to me. They feel, they feel like they are the same as everybody else because I was advised by somebody to use them. And I'm like, you know what? I mean, They have served me, but only because the people that do actually come to me, they do— you listening here, anybody who hires me, they have heard more, right? They don't just look at that title and say, oh my God, I need to go work with her because there's 1,000 different people who say the same thing, right? So obviously the people that end up hiring me have listened more in depth to what I have to say. They've probably attended some of my trainings, so they might've interacted with me. Already, right? And they've formed their own opinion, and they've decided, okay, you're the person I want to work with. And it's not because of that headline, you know. So when we're doing our resumes or our cover letters, or when we're doing that stuff, we need to be the person in the red suit or the red dress or the bright red whatever we want to be, right? And maybe it's not bright red, but maybe it's just a little bit different, right? So maybe. you're wearing like flats to a party and everyone's wearing heels, or because you value comfort over hurting your back, right? That's me, for example. I'm not going to wear like a bright red sequin dress, but I'm also not going to be in heels and like all the other women are, right? And so it's like, it doesn't have to be like a big like thing. You don't have to stand out in a way that isn't you, but I'm just saying it's worth getting to the bottom of of who you really are, because that is actually gonna stand out when we look at that first and we, we make the effort to decipher that and communicate that first. That is gonna stand out more than what some expert told you to put on your resume, because that's not why someone's gonna hire you. So I was actually thinking, there is a really good example of this in my writing. I'm not afraid to stand out. I'll often say things that sometimes I'm like, oh, should I say that out loud? And then when I question it, I'll be like, yes, I probably should because I'm questioning it. Right? And It's making me uncomfortable. It's good. It's pushing me out of my comfort zone. One thing that I did really, really well that I do think helped me to land competing job offers repeatedly was my writing in my cover letters. And I have a freebie that I give away on my free trainings on day 2, and it's called— it comes with all these sample cover letters that were my own and that I helped my clients write with their feedback and everything on like how they stood out. And Those cover letters, you won't find any sample written like that. Those are unique and they really worked for me. And I remember it was because I would say things like, words are cheap. So if you want to talk about it further, I'm available to have a chat or something like that. You wouldn't find those words on somebody else's cover letter, right? And when you read my cover letter, it was unique to me. You could not apply it to someone else. And so thinking back at that, I was like, yes, that is why I got those interviews. And people commented on my cover letters. They would say things like, oh, I love that line. That was hilarious. We all cracked up laughing. And it's not something people have the guts to do. Like, I give away those freebies in the trainings and I have 3 freebies. One is 100 resume bullets with personality that expresses results as well, like examples. And then there's the COVID letter freebie that has like at least 5 examples of really unique cover letters. And then the third one is the 3 magical questions you can actually ask. And all of these freebies are like edgy. People are, I'm like, people, they're hesitant to use them. Like, I remember on my first free training when I shared these with people, I had comments like, can I actually write that? Like, is, are you serious? And I'm just like, well, yeah, because that's what's gonna get people's attention. Like, Your resume, your cover letter, it's marketing. And marketing is getting people's attention. And we don't have very long to do that. Right? So it's really a matter of standing out, but also just accepting that when you stand out, it's probably going to feel uncomfortable and that you might not— it's not going to feel like you're part of the pack and that you're part of the group because standing out— means you're the person in the bright red suit standing in a sea of people in gray suits. And imagine how that would feel if you're standing there in a bright red outfit and everyone else is wearing black. Imagine how that would feel. Probably not super comfortable, right? You'd be like, oh, all eyes are on me. I'm standing out. This is so uncomfortable. I don't like this, right? And so because we're afraid to do that, and also maybe you're not afraid, you just didn't know, you just don't know how to, which is what I help you do. But also it's like, that's what everybody else is doing. And so when we are in a job hunt, we need to learn how to stand out in a way that feels authentic, congruent, unique, for real us, right? Not stand out in a contrived way. And so what all the gray suits are doing basically is they're all just trying to be a little bit better than the other, right? So And that's what all candidates are basically doing too. They're all just saying, hey, I have the same skills, maybe a little less, maybe a little more than the other candidate, but I'm just a little bit better. Right. And they're just trying to compete for a little bit better. Right. And if you imagine that everyone's competing for a little bit better, then the way that you actually stand out is you become completely different. Right. So it's not about Better. It's about different, and it's about different in the way that attracts the person that really appreciates you, that you really want, right? So there's lots of ways to do this throughout the whole process in the job hunt, right? There's ways to do it in the resume, in the COVID letter, and those two, like, you'll want to attend one of my free trainings and get those free resources. I give those out for free as part of it. And then how you interview, how you interview. So if you are looking up sample answers, the likelihood is they've heard that sample answer at least one time, right? And so the way to be different is to, like, the first way is to tell stories that are super unique to you that nobody has, right? Because your story, nobody else should have that exact same story. Right? Nobody else would have it because it's your lived experience, not somebody else's lived experience, right? So that's one way. And then it's like a story that resonates, that's relevant, that makes them fit you into the role. And that's another thing I teach you in the free training as well and give you an example of how that's done. But the problem is, is like we just walk around trying to be that little bit better and not putting our brainpower or our focus into thinking, how am I really actually different? Right? And so working with my clients in the Value Vision Program, I'm learning all these ways to connect the dots as to how each of them is so different. Right? And they don't see that themselves. Right? They don't see that, those specific things. And they might even like, with some of the people I'm working with, it's like they stifle them down and kind of try to hide them because Maybe they've been told, you know, that's not needed, or you're not like— we don't want that right now. But that is their strength. It is their difference, their point of difference, right? And so it's not about being better, it's about being different. And it's about— and you already are different. You already have differences that nobody else can replicate. But if you're studying or learning or listening to podcasts or watching, if you're influenced in any way by people teaching you about resumes or about COVID letters or about how to answer questions, you're likely going to fall into that trap of being the same and just trying to be a little bit better, but more of the same, right? Instead of flipping that completely on its head and being like, how am I just completely different to every other candidate? And you don't have to know every other candidate to already know that you are. Like, I can tell you that you are, you're different than every other candidate, just like I'm different from every other career coach out there. Right. And the only reason that you know that if you're listening here is because you have been listening to me, right? So, you know, if you listen to my podcast and you listen to somebody else's, it's gonna be a very different vibe. Even if we're talking on the same topic to get you a 6-figure job, even if that's both of our goals, it's gonna be a very different vibe listening to me versus listening to someone else's podcast right now. If someone else's resonates with you, that's great. If you listen to several of them, you might start to see, oh yeah, that feels kind of the same. They're talking about like the same little tactical hacks that this one talked about. They told me kind of the similar thing, right? And it's like they will start to kind of meld into each other where you'll be like, okay, yeah, I can see that that is kind of the same. If I didn't listen to that one, I'd probably get similar information, right? And so it's like that for when someone's hiring someone and they're Interviewing candidates. So the question is, how can you be totally different? And there's some ways, like the COVID letter is the first way that I thought of, because I'm like, yeah, but that was a big part that got me in the door. Now I'm not like, this is not like a sales pitch for cover letters. Like, I don't think that's what gets you the job. It's not. I think ultimately it's the internal work that you do first and The fact that you're aligned and everything is aligned within you to go do the external, to go get the job that you want. And lots of people get it without a cover letter. So I'm not like, this is not a sales pitch for cover letters. It's just expressing that through the COVID letter, I was able to express my difference, right? Which was a bit of an edgy writing style. And it wasn't hard because everyone else sounds the same. So mine just had to be a little bit different, a little bit edgy, have a little bit more humor in it, and the right people were going to get it. Okay. So it was just a way of expressing my difference, right? And that can be done on the resume, on the COVID letter, through the questions that you ask, through the answers that you give, through the dynamic that you create, through what you wear if you want to, right? If you want to wear a funny jacket or whatever, like, if you actually really want to wear that to work, you should just wear that to the interview. Be like, yeah, that's me, right? If you hate wearing suits, like, don't wear a suit to the interview, right? And it's funny, people at my event that I went to in December, my business event, I was telling people that I'm a career coach, yet I was there in my Lululemon pants and my running shoes and like basically the comfiest workout gear that I could Pack. That's what I was wearing, right? And like, I had a few people say to me like, oh, well, you're a career coach. Shouldn't you be wearing like a pantsuit or something? I'm like, no, I'm not that type of career coach. I wear what I want. I'm like, I'm not dressing to any like stereotype, right? And I even hate that term career coach. I hate that term. It's like, I don't know what to call myself, but I don't like the term coach. I don't like the whole Like when you think of a coach and like what people might think of, I'm like, it's not what I do. It just feels so different, right? So, but then again, I don't know. My mentor, Brooke Castillo, she's a life coach. She calls herself a life coach. She says we should just be proud of the title. And in fairness to her, she has changed a lot of people's lives. So I just think that maybe the people that hear that term at first can be a bit skeptical of it if they don't really try it. If they don't try it out, if they don't really know what the experience would be for them, they might just be a little bit skeptical of it. So that's where my thoughts are on that. But anyway, so what the problem is— let me just do a quick recap here of everything I've talked about so far. So what the problem is, is that people are trying to blend in even though they don't see that, right? But if you're following advice, if you're following the same advice that everyone else is following, You are at a risk of blending in. Okay. If you get a professional to do your resume who's done a bunch of resumes before, you are at risk of blending in. Okay. There's nobody who does a resume like edgy and different because they don't want to. They're scared to do it as well. Right? Like everyone's scared to stand out, like I said. So the problem is we are not standing out because we're scared to stand out. Just imagine what it would feel like to be in a bright red suit in a whole room of people wearing black suits. And then you'll know why that's scary to do. What we do to try to fix that is we try to be a little bit better, or we try to be a lot better, right? So that hence that we try to get overcompensate, get more certifications, get more experience, try to get better answers, try to like try to impress, try to convince, right? We try to be better instead of leaning into our differences. And why it doesn't work is because— You can't out-better everybody, right? Like, it's just not possible. And you likely won't even get a chance. Like, you're less likely to get a chance if you're just another person in a gray suit. And I don't mean to use the suit as like a general term. It's like, I'll just say outfit. You're less likely to get a chance if you're another person in a gray outfit versus if you're a person who's in a red, a brighter outfit that stands out. Right? You're more likely to get a chance then. And so it doesn't work because it's like trying to compete on price. Someone can always get a lower price somewhere. So if you're looking for the lowest price, like Walmart will always beat you. It's like someone will always be better than you, right? So it's like, it's not a good place to compete from because it's not a winnable game and you likely just won't get noticed at all. Right? So what ends up happening is frustration. We end up blaming the market, end up saying it's not our fault, end up getting really frustrated, end up being like, oh, it's just different nowadays. We can't get jobs the same way we could. It's harder, blah, blah, blah. But it's none of that. It's that we don't know how to stand out better. We don't know our differences. We're not aware of our differences. We're not aware of how valuable those differences are. We're not aware of the unique points that we have to make, and we're not aware of how to communicate them in a way where the right people will be like, yes, right? Oh, I've been looking for someone who's going to say that. Oh, haha, I can't believe she said that on her cover letter. That's hilarious. I gotta investigate that, right? So the better alternative is to spend time and energy looking at how you're different, finding that, and getting really good at differentiating yourself, not trying to be better. And then by doing that, you do a whole bunch of stuff for yourself. So not only do you connect to your value more on a deeper level, but you also learn more ways to communicate how you're different. You get to know yourself better. You ground yourself in your own value on a deeper level, and you're just generally going to be more confident when you can see that stuff, right? Which is a major blind spot for most people because they just think, oh yeah, I just did it. Anybody would've done it. No big deal, blah, blah, blah, right? That's what most people think. And if they don't, they still think someone else is better than them, but it's because they haven't been seeing the nitty-gritty details that they did differently, right? And so the result of differentiating yourself is that you attract more of the people who really are drawn to your differences, right? So I've had some really cool comments this year. Looking back, I'm looking at my data for everything, looking at the feedback for everything, just mining, combing through all the stuff I've done in 2024. And doing this work myself along with my clients inside the Value Vision Program. And the comments that I've gotten on my differences have been, you bring a really human approach to coaching that is not seen very often. And like, makes me feel like I can trust you more. Makes me feel like, you know, you've been where I've been. Makes me feel like you're not gonna judge me. Makes me feel comfortable. Makes me feel safe kind of thing. Right. And that's, and I'm noticing, I'm like, yeah, that's because I'm not afraid to talk about being really emotional. I'm not afraid to talk about my biggest mistakes. I'm not afraid to talk about super embarrassing moments or tell super embarrassing stories, like the time I left 200 people waiting for the bus and no buses came. Story for another day. Or the time I lost a client at the law firm that I was working at. I tell those stories and I'm not like, I'm like, yeah, I've done all that stuff. I've been through the financial highs and lows where I didn't know how I was going to pay for stuff. I've been, And it's like, you know what? I'm not here to judge you. I'm just here to help you with what I've got because I've got a lot. So that was one thing. The main thing was, you know, I bring a really human approach to coaching, right? I'm not trying to be professional. I'm not trying to be perfect. I'm just being me. Another thing that somebody said was that they appreciate me bringing my emotion into it, like talking about my stories about my ex and the lessons I learned there and bringing in. Like my family narratives from when I was growing up, and that was really deeply resonated with by a lot of people. I got by far the most feedback there. So yeah, a few things that made me different. Not all coaches will do that. Not all coaches are going to do that. They're just going to be like, "No, here's the tactics. Here's what you need to do. Here's what you need to say." Blah blah blah, right? And maybe they're taught that that's what they should be doing by their business coach, right? They're not thinking about how am I different. They're just thinking. that's what I need to do to be successful as a coach, right? And so I want you to think about it, like how it applies for you is what were you told to do that you have been either thinking you should do or you've been doing? What have you been told to do? And before you do things, ask yourself, why am I doing this? Is it because I was told to? Is it because I want to? Is it because I think I have no choice? Why are you doing that? And if the answer isn't because I deeply want to, and I'm really curious and excited about what's going to come from it, then maybe reevaluate it. And so this whole get different thing and this whole valuing yourself thing have just been things that have just landed with me so powerfully just In the last few days and over the month of December of 2024, and it's just kind of coming together into this beautiful new evolution of my business and what it's going to become. And I thank you for being along. So that's today's episode for you. I do tend to go off on a few tangents. I had the episode planned out, and then I realized I went off on a few tangents. So I hope you enjoyed the tangents. I hope they were valuable for you too. All right. Well, thank you so much for listening. And I will talk to you next time. Hey there, thanks for listening. If you're new here, I'm Natalie Fisher. And if you want to take this work even deeper than the podcast, where I help you apply it and I help you dig into your own personal situation, you have 2 ways to do that. The first is in my signature program, The Six Figure Curriculum, where we go through everything you need and I personally help you weekly to land that 6-figure premium role. And the second way, once you land that 6-figure premium role, is the Time to Thrive Mastermind. So if you're already in an amazing premium role that you love and you want to advance, you want to develop your mindset, you want to thrive in that role, then I support you in my Time to Thrive Mastermind. So that's the 2 ways that you can work with me if you want to take the work on the podcast deeper. The links for those are in The show notes below. To go right away, you can go to www.nataliefisher.ca/start.