Ep #90: Locking in New Beliefs

This is the Get a Six Figure Job You Love podcast. This is episode number 90, Locking in New Beliefs. Hey there, welcome to the Get a Six Figure Job You Love podcast. I'm your host, Natalie Fisher. I'm a certified career mindset coach who also happens to wanna skip all the BS and get to what it really takes to create real results for you in your career. On this podcast, you will create real mindset shifts that will lead to big results and big changes in your career and your income. No fluff here. If you want to get a 6-figure job you love and create real concrete results in your industry and make a real impact, you're in the right place. Are you ready? Let's go. Hello. Awesome to be here today. As every day, I sit down to record this podcast and I just love that I can talk through a microphone and thousands of people will tune in to hear what I have to say. It's pretty fun. So today I want to talk about locking in new beliefs, what that means, how you go from believing something that you don't want to be believing to believing something that you do want to believe. So for the purpose of the podcast, a lot of people, a lot of my clients in the work that I do, People have trouble believing that they could get to their six-figure role, and there's a bunch of reasons why they have a problem believing that, right? And whatever those reasons are for you, that's what you want to identify. And we call them a bunch of different things. We call them a story that you're believing, a limiting belief that you're believing, a thought that you're believing. A sentence in your head that you really feel is true. And for anyone to do what's necessary to get the 6-figure role, they first need to start by untangling all the reasons why they believe they can't have it. So first they need to have some awareness around that and give themselves some space to untangle what those beliefs might be. But most people don't examine this or have much conscious awareness of this at all. And when I ask most people on a 1 to 10 scale, how much do you believe it? They'll normally give me like maybe a 3 or a 4. Some people will give me an 8. So I want you to ask yourself on a 1 to 10 scale right now, 10 being I fully believe it, like I've almost got the offer coming in. To one being like, there's no chance in hell this is ever happening for me. Where are you on that belief score? Most people don't know, or they haven't really thought about it. And a lot of people might say, even some of my clients have said this, they're like, well, if it's meant to happen, it will happen. And if it's not, then it won't. And kind of just surrendering everything to the world to take over. And that Isn't the most effective way to go for what you want, as I've coached a lot of people on that. So first, we are afraid to believe a lot of the time, right? We're taught that we need to see the evidence first before we believe it, because we don't want to set ourselves up for disappointment. We end up preparing for failure more often than we do preparing for success. So people will say, well, and I used to actually say the same thing. I used to be like, I don't want to believe something that hasn't happened yet because that would be irresponsible of me. I need to see it first so that I can believe it. And I did that for many years waiting for the evidence to show up first and it never did. So that way didn't work and it doesn't work. All of the self-help, all of the spiritual teachers, all of the process-oriented teachers, everybody that I have listened to, congruent information. The findings are you have to believe it first. You have to start to get your mind around it as it has already happened first. If you sit around and wait for it to happen, how is that working out for you? It did not work out for me. So the problem is, is we haven't been taught to think about it this way. And we kind of live in that fear. Like most people I talk to are living in the fear of something not happening, the fear of something not working, the worry, the uncertainty, right? And they create that with their thinking. And they're normally thinking things like, Well, what if people don't respond to me well? What if I don't have the experience? What if it turns out it doesn't work? What if I do go to 100 people and they all don't hire me? How many things do I have to do before I know it's really not going to work? And they want a blueprint, they want an exact number of steps, and they're planning for failing. And without realizing it, that is what is creating that perpetual failure as a result. So we haven't been taught to set ourselves up for success with belief work. We haven't been taught to purposely lock in new beliefs, and we haven't been taught how to do that in a way where we can give ourselves the space to do that, where it's a process we can do that, and where it's completely safe and possible to trust that the belief we want is actually accessible and available to us, right? It doesn't happen overnight. You can't necessarily go from believing, I'm really not going to be able to do this, to, I can totally do this, no problem, and it's happening, like believing it could happen tomorrow, for example, right? We normally have to take a little bit of a path to walk ourselves into that belief step by step. So we're wired to avoid discomfort of any kind, and so we give up very easily. How we try to cope with it is we don't allow ourselves to believe for very long. So even if you do start to believe something new, like you start to believe, okay, I can totally do this, this is totally possible, I'm getting my six-figure job, this is what it looks like, I'm super excited. What normally happens then is if the expectation isn't met very quickly, according to us. Then our belief kind of crumbles, and it's like saying, "Well, I've been eating healthy for a day, and I haven't lost ten pounds yet." An exaggerated version of what we normally do, right? And me too. If I have a result in my business that I didn't, that wasn't favorable, like I used to do this too. I used to be like, "Oh well, I'd be really disappointed." Like, and even though I'm like, I was believing that this result was coming, I was planning for success. It was all set up and then it didn't work. And then my belief, I've seen my belief kind of go away and be like, oh, well then it's not working, right? But here's the thing. So a belief is not a real belief unless it can withstand an encounter with reality, which is probably going to be a failure or something not working out. And it's definitely not a belief if it can't withstand many encounters with reality. Otherwise, it's just a temporary fantasy or a temporary idea. It's not a real belief. A belief is a belief when you don't let go of it until it has happened, right? Until it matches you. So a belief is a belief when you believe it in your mind and you just keep doing the steps until you get it, right? So Aligning yourself with the belief is not so that it's going to happen immediately. It's so that you get yourself to take the steps until you get there. And the more aligned you are, the faster you'll take those steps, the easier it'll be, the less time you'll spend in disappointment or fear or worry, and the faster you'll get your result. And a perfect example of this is my Six Figure Curriculum students who set a goal With me at the beginning. And then they get offered another role. So say they get offered a lower paying role, not exactly what they wanted. Maybe they have a bit of a longer commute. Maybe it wasn't for the ideal company. Maybe they saw some red flags. It was a lower pay. So their belief originally was that they'd be able to get what they wanted. And so this proves it perfectly. When they believe so strongly that they are going to get what they want that they turn down that offer, right? Because they say, I know that what I want is coming. I know it's available. I know that I'm doing that. And this offer that they got, the lower one, just proves that their offer's coming. It gives them more confidence, right? It gives them more certainty in themselves. And that action proves that their belief is real, right? If they were to say, well, I'll just take this lower offer, not sure I can do any better. I'll take it temporarily because my new offer is probably going to be a while. I'll just settle for it. It's okay. It's actually pretty good justifying, right? And if they were to go down that path, that would show me that their belief in what they really wanted was just a temporary fantasy. They didn't really They didn't really lock in that belief. So, what locking in the belief means is that they have committed to that happening and that they are just taking those steps until it happens. So, yeah, say their belief was they're going to get a role for $150K. They get offered a role at $80K and it's not really in line with what they wanted. Maybe it was something they applied for a long time ago, or a recruiter calls them back from ages ago and they start to entertain that. Right. And their thought process will show me a lot there. So they'll either be like, yeah, I should probably take it. Or they'll be like, nope, I already decided I'm going to turn it down. These are the reasons and this is why, right? And you can feel their tone of voice, their demeanor, how they're talking about themselves, how their belief stands up to that encounter with reality. Because when their belief has been so locked in and so cemented, They will make the choice based on that belief, not based on it not happening. So, they are still planning for their success, no matter what the circumstances are showing them. And if the belief is weak, then they'll take the lesser role. Often they say that I believe so much for them that they felt it to be true. And then that they were able to kind of grab onto that belief and believe it too. And then they were able to move forward from there. And I've had that experience as well. And it's a really beautiful experience to have. I think why I got into coaching, why coaching was so powerful for me was my coach believed in me when I was not producing the results I wanted yet. But the way that she spoke to me, she was like, well, of course you can. Of course you will. And hearing that certainty coming from her, I started to believe that it was true. And it started to happen. So why it doesn't work, if you choose to let go of that belief too quickly, give up too quickly, give into your tendency to settle or your temptation to settle in some cases, right? But if you believe so deeply in your value and you're okay with feeling a little bit of more discomfort going through this process, applying for jobs, even when you don't check all the boxes, And offering your value to an organization at your highest, best self over and over and over again, there's no way you're not going to get it. So, it's that choice. And when you don't choose to lock in the belief fully, when you don't commit to the belief, and it's not people's faults, they're just not aware that they're not doing that. They're not aware that they have that choice. Now, the actions will always show your true belief. So, you only believe in your value, To the extent that you're shielded from an emotional discomfort, which is not very much belief at all. So if you go to an interview, for example, and you believe you showed up amazingly well, you were very proud of yourself, you left there thinking, I nailed that. I could totally help them get to their results. I'm perfect for that job. And they did not agree. And then— Yeah. you change your belief about your value based on that circumstance, then it wasn't a real belief in your value, right? It was only— it was conditional belief, meaning that you only believed to the extent that you were shielded from emotional discomfort. So in order to be shielded from that rejection or that disappointment, you chose to bring your belief down, right? Instead, Of saying to yourself, well, okay, I guess that's not going to be them. It's going to be a better company. Something better is coming, right? It's gonna, it's gonna come. It's gonna, it's no problem. I was watching Seinfeld last night. I haven't seen all the Seinfelds. I watched all the Friends episodes, but not all the Seinfelds. And Jerry, it was one of the episodes where Jerry is, everything is evening out for him. So he He loses $20 and then $20 somehow comes back to him, or he loses a job and then 20 minutes later someone calls him, offers him a different job for the same money at a different location or something. And he's so happy. He's like, everything's always evening out. Everything's always evening out. And then at the end, his girlfriend breaks up with him and she's like all— when you're going to break up with someone, you want to be sensitive of their feelings and she's careful and she's like, I really don't think we should see each other anymore. And he goes, okay, that's not a problem. I wish you the best. I'll meet someone else. And then he just leaves and he's so happy about it. And I was like, wouldn't that be great if we could just react that way to like interview rejections? So if they tell you, you know, oh, sorry, you weren't the right fit, you could actually be happy about it and be like, okay, no problem. I'll find a better fit. Like knowing that that's happening, because in the episode he was so certain. it had been happening so many times. And his thought was, everything just evens out. Everything just evens out. And he was so excited to see how it was going to come to him, right? So I thought of that and I was laughing about it because I was like, if only we could just skip all of that disappointment and discomfort when something like that happens with the full belief that something better is coming. In his case, he just thought something else was coming along, which is also fine. He was getting the same Like, it's like I lost a job and I gained one, same money. Lost $20, found $20, right? And it was funny to watch because those were his thoughts the whole episode, and that's exactly what was happening. And I'm just like, well, just think, okay, it wasn't that, it's gonna be something better, right? Or equally as good if it was a really good offer, right? So what the result ends up happening when we're not believing is that it means You don't build your belief, you don't build your muscle to learn to believe, and then you end up changing your circumstances, you end up diminishing your own confidence, you end up, you end up making backwards progress versus forwards progress, right? Because you lose momentum. And the momentum is only lost in your own head, right? And it was a great example. With my interview recently with Frank Gabusi on the podcast and how he was thinking of these things when they happened and the way that he was talking. He'd be like, yeah, I went to the interview. I noticed they were really engaged when I talked about this, but I didn't get the job. But then I used what I learned and then I went to the next interview and I presented it even better and even stronger. And he wasn't fazed by the fact he wasn't picked. He was just excited About what he gained and what he learned from that. And that shows in his results. He got the job within 2 months. It was $100K. It was beautiful. And he kept the momentum going because of his thought processes, which he learned inside my program, the Six Figure Curriculum. He picked up these strategies and then he tested them out, and then he started just looking for what was working there. And he— it was almost like a secondary thing. When he was talking about how he didn't get the job or how something didn't work out, it was almost like a secondary feature in the story. It wasn't like the main plot. It was like, yeah, yeah, I didn't get the job, but let me tell you about what I learned. And the energy there was just so moving, right? It was so forward-moving. You could see and feel why he had that momentum behind him, right? So if you haven't listened to that one, I would encourage you to go listen to that because— The way that he talks was really telling in how he thinks and how he was able to create those results, right? So what we need to do is we need to be aware, first of all, of where our belief is, and then we want to purposely work to build it instead of letting it crumble whenever something happens. Right? So here's an example of me before I knew how to do the belief work effectively, right? So I talk about this sometimes. Being in business for a while now and having a ton of one-on-one clients and going through a lot of one-on-one consultations, there was a lot of rejection, right? Like there was a lot of people who were not a good fit for me. There was a lot of people who didn't resonate with me. I got on the phone with a lot of people who We could— we didn't jive. We were not on the same page at all. So when that happened, I, in the beginning stages, when I was a beginner, started to get really like— started— that belief would just go down. It would just be like, oh, every time someone said no, I'd be like, oh, this just isn't happening. This is, this is not working. Right. And so now that I know how to do this belief work so quickly, if I get an undesirable result, I can quickly jump into the end result of my belief and be like, oh yeah, this is just part of it. So it's kind of like I'm on a train, right? And this is an analogy I thought of that I liked to demonstrate this is if you're on a train and the train stops, you have the option to get off, right? So that stop might be metaphorically A rejection, a lower job offer. It might be something a recruiter said to you that makes you feel like crap. Those are all optional stops. You can get off on those stops. You can go wander around for a while. You can go be unhappy wandering around for a while in whatever little dead town you stop in. Or you don't have to get off the train at all. It's your choice. If you know that the train's going to reach your destination, then why would you get off at any of those stops? There would seemingly be no purpose, right? And at the beginning, we do get off at those stops and we do wander around for a bit. And then we come back to the train and we get back on it and we keep going. But getting off at those stops are what delays us getting to our destination. Right. And sometimes like those stops are needed in the beginning. Like I definitely see why I needed to get off at those stops in the beginning to now be where I am. And chances are you've gotten off at a lot of wrong stops before, and that's okay, right? You explored those towns, but eventually those towns start to look the same. There's nothing new there. There's no new cool gift shops. It's like the same old, same old stuff that you've already seen. And it becomes really boring to get off at those stops. And even frustrating if you, if you're thinking you have to, right? Because it just holds you up. So when you believe that the train is 100% getting to your destination, there is no doubt about it, then you don't need to get off at any of them. You can just stay on the train. You can know that the stop is happening there, right? You could be like, okay, yeah, that was a rejection. Wait a couple seconds, the train keeps moving, right? So there is no reason to get off at those stops, but we think we have to because we haven't been shown a different way, right? So I encourage you, stay on the train, wait for your stop. It's going to be worth it. Okay. And why this works is because it's literally the law of physics. If you are at that final destination and you know that a series of decisions will make sure you get there, you will say no to anything that is not your final destination. And it will be easy for you to say no to anything that is not your final destination. Is if you don't, you're going to make different choices along the way. You're going to get distracted. You're going to get off at other stops. You might think, oh, well, maybe I should change where I'm going because it doesn't look like I'm going to get to where I want to go. So let's change from wanting to do finance to wanting to do HR, or let's do something different. Let's go somewhere else because it doesn't look like this train's going to take me where I want to go. Right? So you might take detours. Or you might just get off at disappointment town over and over and over, hang out at disappointment town over and over and over. And that is going to kill your momentum and it's going to make you more likely to accept things you didn't really want. It's going to totally kill your confidence a little bit at a time, and it's going to make you feel like crap. And the opposite is just as available. It just takes Retraining yourself in the other direction. So planning for the belief, planning for the success, planning for the destination, right? And think of how excited you would be if you're on that train and you know you're getting to your destination. There's no doubt, there's no questions, you know you're getting there. But you also know there'll be stops along the way, and you just don't have to get off at any of them, right? Like, you're always going to hang on to what you don't want When you believe that what you do want is not available or not a possibility for you or at all. So I want you to be able to look at yourself with clarity and have the courage to be honest with yourself about where your beliefs are right now, because that willingness is the difference between the people who start to make way more money Bigger impact. And those who keep grinding their wheels over and over again without getting very far because they keep getting off the train and they just keep thinking that they're never going to get to their destination, so they don't. And those are beliefs that need to be untangled. And that is also why the myth exists that, oh, the job search takes time. It doesn't. So what results are created is you learn how to do belief work and you learn how to lock in beliefs in a way that always creates what you want. You start automatically planning for success instead of worrying about failure. You know the failure is there, but you're not afraid of it because you know your success is in the future. You know your destination is there. You understand how that works. You don't feel bad or fazed when you're rejected or offered something that's less than what you wanted. You keep your eye on the final destination and you don't care about the instant gratification along the way if it doesn't show up, which it probably won't, right? So beginners crave that instant gratification, crave approval. They crave praise. Advanced students of my process know that that's not necessary. They don't require that because what they're in it for is the final destination. And let me tell you, these skills make you hundreds of thousands of dollars and make it so you no longer live in worry, fear, and struggle, but instead in possibility and excitement and certainty that what you're creating is happening. And you are creating it with your belief. So, when you know how to lock in any belief, you're going to be able to make your career goal. And then, you'll be able to make the next one and the next one. So, I hope you enjoyed this episode. That's what I have for you today. If you want to go deeper on this work, where you get an actual coach to coach you on this stuff, to untangle your specific limiting beliefs, to pick them out when you can't see them, to show them to you, to clear the path like a bulldozer so that you can just get on that train and go join us inside the Six Figure Curriculum. And there's also an amazing freebie that I have to offer you, which I've recently created. Everybody is signing up for it. It is called 8 Reasons You're Not Getting Hired. And how to fix them. So the link for that is going to be in the show notes as well. So go ahead and grab that if you're getting interviews and no offers. That is the number one thing people come to me for, and I can help you identify that in this document. So pick that up, and I will see you next week.

Today I'm starting at a software company as a Implementation Specialist. So I'm going from accounting, which is my background, uh, I was essentially the controller of a company, to now a software specialist.

If I were to sum it up, I would say the most common thing people come to me with is, I'm going on interview after interview after interview, and I'm not getting the offer. What am I doing wrong? So I've put together a freebie Where you can get this download completely free. It has the eight reasons that this is happening, and I break down each reason very specifically and how to fix it. So to grab that download, the link is in the show notes. You can click on that link. You just have to enter your information. It's called the eight reasons you're not getting hired, and I will help you figure that out. I will see you in the freebie. Okay. Talk to you soon.