First A Quick Word Episode (AQW about Being Realistic)

Welcome to the A Quick Word version of the Get a 6-Figure Job You Love podcast. So A Quick Word is just going to be a quick podcast that I record every week with some unfiltered thoughts that I either coached somebody recently on or came to me and I really just had to share. So enjoy. And if you want to listen to longer form content, check out the Monday episodes where I go deeper. And if you like the short ones, join me on Fridays, sometimes other days, but normally on Fridays for a quick word about something. Stay tuned. Hey, welcome to the podcast. So today I decided that I have so many ideas for how to record podcasts or what, what I want to share with you guys that I decided I'm going to do A quick episode on Fridays that's just like a quick word about something that I feel like would be really valuable for you, but it's not enough to do like a whole episode on it. So it might be like a practical strategy that might be really useful, or it might just be one little mindset shift that I had with a client or that I've had recently. And just a quick thing, it's not going to be a whole long in-depth episode like you're used to, but just really valuable. And And for those of you who don't like the really long episodes, so today's episode is on being realistic, quote unquote realistic. So this really fired me up, this topic. I had a client come to me and she was talking about how she wanted to make 130k and she had coffee with her previous boss and her previous boss said. That's unheard of for somebody with your level of experience. And basically she was like saying, that's not realistic, right? That's unheard of. That's not going to happen. Like whatever version of that kind of talk you've heard before, I'm sure you can relate to that. Lots of people are told every day that, you know, that's unrealistic, right? And so I'm here to ask, what the heck does realistic even mean? Like, what does that even mean? Like, let's blow that wide open. Let's Challenge that statement of realistic, because realistic is by definition something that's already been achieved or something just a little bit more than what's been achieved, right? So it's practical. It's matter of fact. It's the sensible, the rational, the logical, the reasonable, the reasonable thing, right? And I guess the only reason somebody would think that that's useful is to not be disappointed. Because if you can think bigger and if you can believe bigger, why wouldn't you? Why wouldn't you want to? And not in every situation, but for your career, for example, why wouldn't you want to believe bigger things are possible than only the realistic? Right. If only the realistic were possible, then nothing new, big quantum leaps, those kind of things would never happen if only realistic things were possible. And this is especially true of like inventors. The light bulb, for example, that was not a realistic thing. The telephone was not a realistic thing. The internet, the smartphone and the capabilities that it has right now, TV, none of these things were realistic. Years ago, years and years ago, right? They were not, they were unreasonable. They were unrealistic. They were achieved and thought of by minds who were not being realistic, right? And that's extreme. But my point is, is that if we put ourselves in a realistic box or we let other people put us back into a realistic box, then we stifle the ability to achieve unrealistic things. Right? We're not able to imagine or fathom impossible goals because we're like, oh no, no, I better stay realistic. I better stay in my sphere. I better not get too big for my britches or whatever it is that people say. Right? And so my answer to my client was, why is that unheard of? Or why does she think that? Because we can look around and see evidence of lots of people. And my client had quite a bit of experience, like not Years and years. Like, and we established that the reason her old boss was saying this is because her old boss did not want her to surpass her. She wasn't even making $130K and she had a lot more experience than my client. So she didn't want my client to make that much money because that would mean that, that would mean something about her. It would mean that with her, with all the years of experience, she should be making even more than that. So she was afraid of being surpassed. by somebody who had less experience than her. So she would say, that's not realistic, right? Because it wasn't realistic for her. So the thing I want you to remember today is if somebody says you can't do that, it's because they don't believe that they can. If they have, they're not going to think in the same way, right? And if they can think that something is unrealistic, It's just showing their mental limitations, right? They're not thinking, how could it be possible? They're thinking, oh, it's not possible, right? And when they are thinking like that and you believe them or you take it to heart or you give any kind of energy or attention to it, you're basically agreeing with them and saying, oh, well, you're probably right then. It's not realistic for me. But they don't get to decide that. They don't get to decide any part of what is realistic for you. Right? If I had listened to what my ex would say, he would have kept me so small, right? He would have been like, nope. He's like, you can maybe sell something for $20, maybe, maybe. He's like, but you haven't ever done that before, so I don't know how you're ever going to get a client because you, you don't have experience. It might take you a really long time. Like, just, he was— he talked like that because of his mental frame of how small His mentality was, right? And he will stay in that until he starts to change it if he wants to. But some people just won't, right? And they won't be open to it. They won't want to. And they want to stay small because they don't want to be surpassed, or they don't want you to surpass them. They don't want to feel the feelings of being disappointed. They don't want to fail. Like, because I'm thinking, what would be the point in thinking small? It's just so that you don't have to risk feeling disappointment, or you don't have to risk failing. Because if you set a big goal and you know you're going to do it, and you try a few times and then you fail, whatever, you learn, you get— you pick yourself back up and you keep going, and until you get it right. But it's another episode I want to do, conditional versus unconditional commitment, right? It's like commitment. If you're committed to the thing, it doesn't matter if you have to fall down a few times to get it. You'll just keep learning and keep growing until you get it. That's how it works, right? So that's what I wanted to leave you with today. What is unrealistic? Where are you limiting yourself with what you think is realistic? Where have you been limited in the past by the words and thoughts of other people that are close to you, that you respect, that you give weight to on what is realistic for you? Right. So that's what I wanted to kind of leave you with and, and think about the people who say those things and where they are, because somebody who is doing more than you is not going to tell you that you can't do something, right? Because they, they're going to motivate you. They're going to, they're going to be like, well, I could do it. You could do it. Right. And just paying attention to the people in general from whom you listen to, from who you weight their opinions heavily in your life. It's so important that we filter through. What we let enter our brains, right? It's so important that you filter through who you're listening to, right? So those are my words on, on being realistic and questioning what the heck does realistic even mean. It does. If it means only something you've done before or a little bit more, it means that will take forever. If it's incremental, like imagine if, if it was only realistic to make a dollar more. Or like a dollar more an hour, that's more. But like, if you set a goal to be like, okay, I wanna make $10,000 more. And someone's like, that's unrealistic. It's like, okay, well then what is realistic? Like $2,000 more in a year or $5,000 more in a year? What would it take to make $10,000 more in a year? What would it take to make $20,000 or $30,000? Right? What would that take instead of having the idea and then being like, oh yeah, no, that's not realistic. Right? Because when you think of it as, how could it be realistic? How could it be possible? And let yourself sit with that and think about that and gather more information and put more energy behind that, you will figure out more answers to how it becomes realistic. And then you can try and fail your way there, and then it will become inevitable. And that is how you achieve your goals over and over and over again. And that's it for me today. I'm out. Thank you for listening, and I hope you enjoy the new quick word podcasts.